


Both Worlds

by Mageware



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Ratings: R, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2018-12-13 18:58:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 117,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11766279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mageware/pseuds/Mageware
Summary: Chloe or the Bay? Which does Max save? Well, both. And neither. When a single small moment can change fate, a big event warrants the exploration of both outcomes. A dual timeline story that explores both Max and Arcadia Bay in both worlds created by her last decision on the cliff. Post-Episode 5, rated M for content and language.





	1. Split

  _ *** 3 hours after the Storm ***_

_I killed them. I killed them all. I chose not to save them._

That thought keeps rolling over and over in her mind. Unlike the past week there was no time travel involved. The repetition isn't from a moment she controlled. It is a thought with it's own powers.

_Everyone is dead and I could save them._

It starts in the truck. Chloe drove through the Bay, or what was left of it. The smile on her friend's face, not really a smile, a smirk. It's easy to read on Chloe, for her at least. _Yeah, I understand. Yeah, it sucks. But you're okay._

But that little smirk sets her off. First, she feels okay. Then she feels horrible for feeling okay. And then the horrible become atrocious. Why should she feel okay? Nothing is. So many people wouldn't feel okay. So many people wouldn't feel happy or sad or even horrible again. And the thought whispers into her head, as light as butterfly wings.

_I killed them. I killed them all. I chose not to save them. I let them die for me. I'm selfish. I'm evil. I killed them all._

Within a few minutes of that smirk Chloe has to pull over to let her throw up. The trembling makes it impossible to stand, instead she elects to just open the door and spill out onto the pavement, followed soon by her stomach. That finishes, but her body isn't done, trying to heave the rest of her insides outward. An eternity later her muscles grow too tired to do anything more, so instead she sobs. The hand on her back is all that keeps her grounded to the here, the now. The small circle it traces is warm, and soft. As the sobs turn to tears, as the tremors subsided, she hears a low mantra contrasting the one in her head.

'You're safe, I'm safe, I'm here. I'm not leaving. We're together forever. Shh, we're safe. I'm never leaving...'

_I killed them all. I could have saved them. I let them die._

'Come back to me. I'm here. Come back to me. I'm here and I'll wait but I need you to come back to me again...'

_I killed... Wait. I.. I chose Chloe. Not just me. I saved Chloe. I **saved** Chloe. I killed... But I saved her. I can save more._

The road is quite but for the two of them. With a sharp eye you can see the "Welcome to Arcadia Bay" sign down the road. A bit further are the indistinct blobs of houses. Or were houses. Without realizing it, her head has migrated to Chloe's lap, the only part of her that isn't tightly wrapping itself into a ball. For the first time in many minutes, she opens her eyes and stares up at her best friend.

'wowzers...'

The smirk, a bit more pained but also more understanding, comes back to Chloe's mouth. 'Yeah. Thought I lost you there for a moment. You, eh. You had me worried.'

'Sorry, Chlo. It just... hit me. All at once. I let all those people-'

'No. Full stop.' Hands now gripping the sides of her head, Chloe's gaze is no less intent for being mostly upside down. ' **You** didn't do anything to these people. You didn't send the storm.' Chloe's tears run off her own nose and cheeks, tracing similar paths as they fall on her face. 'Everything you did was **for** me. And I-'

Anger flared, adding a bit more edge to her voice than she intended. 'No, you stop now, Chloe. I did choose you. I'll keep choosing you. But I need to own it. I am guilty of that, of... of picking you. I need to own that.'

'Fuck that. None of this is your fault.'

'But it's my responsibility.'

Chloe rocks back a bit, the implication widening her eyes. The impact of that thought gives Chloe pause. Responsibility. Something Chloe never really paid attention to before. It was always the fault of someone else. Her friends for ditching. Her father for leaving, for- for dying. Her mother for loving someone else more than she loved her daughter. Her teachers _failed_ her. Her parents _failed_ her. Rachel _failed_ her-

No. Rachel didn't fail her. Rachel died. Dad died. She made life hell for her mom and stepdou- David. She failed her classes. She hurt the people around her, friends and enemies the same. She, Chloe, made all the decisions that led her to blackmailing a boy in the school bathroom. Yeah, her life was rough. But she didn't have to make it rougher for herself. She could have stopped any time. She still can.

Time to stop being _that_ Chloe and time to be amazeballs.

'Our responsibility.'

The confusion is obvious. 'Wha... What are you talking about, Chlo?'

'Our responsibility. If you want to take all the blame, too bad. _You_ saved _me_. Both of us were on that cliff today. You may have decided to save me but I'm the one who didn't... die.' A deep breath. 'If you want to take the whole world on your shoulders, well, move over Max-las. I told you we're together forever.'

_*** 3 hours after the Funeral *** _

_How can it hurt so much? I saved the town. I saved everyone. Kate, Joyce, Warren. Even Victoria. Only Chl-_

Another wave of sobs shook her. She'd already been to the toilet twice since leaving Joyce and David at the cemetery. Kate tried to get her to talk, but Max slammed her dorm door behind her. No one understands. No one can realize that she has to grieve all over again. Auto-Max got to cry her eyes out, but not her. Not Real-Max, Prime-Max, whatever she calls herself. So Max lays in bed, wrapping her arms so tightly around her knees it hurt.

Eventually the sky dims and the tears stop. Sleep comes, the tired sleep that luckily has no dreams. But a tentative knock rouses her, startling, and the following, more forceful _thump-thump-thump_ sends her upright in bed.

_What time..? Twenty to midnight? Who the hell is outside?_

A high-pitch voice, a bit raw itself, answers Max's thoughts. 'It's me, Max. We... I... eh, I don't know how to do this but I want to talk.'

The anger immediately rises, Max not caring as it drips from her lips. 'What, Victoria? What do you want? Here to bitch about your killer ex-boyfriend? Oh no, is the world NOT REVOLVING AROUND VICTORIA CHASE?' It feels good, venting. Exhausted in more ways than one, lashing out at Victoria just... feels right.

The slight shuffle in the silent whine of her outburst is the only indication Victoria is still there.

'Just listen.' Another beat. 'Please.'

'Why?'

Whether it's the door or the emotional weight, Victoria's next words are barely discernible. 'because i understand.'

The bubble of anger pops, forcing Max to try and rip the door from it's hinges. 'HOW? HOW CAN YOU UNDERSTAND? DID YOU LOSE SOMEONE YOU LOVE? DID YOU LOSE YOUR OTHER HALF?'

Standing there is an oversized t-shirt and pajama pants, Victoria doesn't look like the queen bee. _She's been crying._ A look is on her face, familiar to everyone but utterly alien on the taller girl. Sad, but concerned? _Not so pretty without her makeup._

'Yes. I did.'

'Wh-what?'

'I lost Na... him as much as you lost- your friend. I lost my brother. I lost someone who was the closest person in the world to the same person you lost to.' Victoria inhales, gaining a bit of her confidence but, surprisingly, still unable to look Max in the eye. 'I lost the one person I love most in this world when he pulled that trigger. I've been trying all week to find the words to say- to even think I have the right to say something to you. When... he did what he did, he chose to... do something horrible, something you don't get to take back. Just... five minutes and I'll leave.'

They step inside, and Max closes the door.

'N... Nathan was my best friend. Not like Courtney or Taylor. I, ah, I trusted him. Like, fully.' Victoria sits on the couch, idly stroking the neck of the guitar standing nearby. Unwilling to give an inch, Max leans against her door, arms crossed. Victoria still won't look at her as she talks. _Or maybe she can't._

'I don't know when he stopped being the person I knew. Yeah, he started getting angry the last few years. Over stupid shit but, you know, I just thought hormones or some other shit.' Finally, she looks in Max's direction, and the tears that started at the door were only more present now. 'I saw him getting violent the last few months. I thought I could... do something. Help him. His father wouldn't. Just threw money at him.' The pain hardens, no longer directionless. 'And that, that pig. That evil shit-stain on life. _He_ finished Nathan off. _He_ showed Nathan how to be that monster. To hide it so well. I worshiped him. I woulda done anything for him...'

Victoria trails off, giving Max a moment to process everything. The flair of hate at even the reference of her former photography teacher and, to be honest, idol. And, as difficult as it is to process the whirlwind of emotions, it was different from what she had just been feeling. It isn't any more or less than the pain of- but it was different. And that, by itself, helps to break the numbness that had crept through Max's mind. The haze of pain breaks, and she sits by Victoria, one of her hands in both of Max's.

'He hurt both of us. Badly. I... I don't know how to go on.'

'I was next.' Abrupt as always, Victoria half laughs, half sobs. 'The police still has most of the details locked up but I know that much. My name was on the next binder.' Again she breaks. 'And I went to Kate. I apologized to her, and she looked me right in the eye and smiled. Said she forgave me. And without a beat she said the police contacted her. Her name was on one of those binders. The night of that damn video, she was drugged and Jeff- he _used_ her. And she acted fine. I've been worried about you but Katie, there's something really wrong and I don't know how to help her.' Again, the half and half sound. 'Hell, I don't know how to help you. But I want to.'

An arm around Victoria's shoulders says much, both from Max to Victoria as well as about how far they've both come. Max has a moment, holding the taller girl. One of those moments that don't feel particularly weighty at the time, but one that ends up changing many small events. A butterfly event. But this little fluttering of wings helps Max start to shift her world view. She didn't save the whole town by herself. She had help, from friends and loved ones. The guilt is still there, and something else, darker, that she can't quite name. But this kindness from an unlikely source _(Not that unlikely. Other Victoria was like this too, at the end)_ is a salve she needs. The edge of hope around the picture.

'Well, you don't have to save us all on your own. No one can hold up the world by themselves. You can't, I can't. We just have to hold up the world together.'

This time a chuckle, with no follow up sniffle or shudder, cues that Victoria needs to speak. 'You know, I always envied you. But only because I admired how you didn't care. Or, instead, you didn't let other people control you. You didn't ever seem to care what other people thought about you.' Breath out, breath in. 'So, Atlas, how do we hold up the world?'

The first real smile of her present traces Max's face. 'I still don't know the actual how. But we do what Chloe would do. We tell the world how it is and give it a hella hard time if it says anything about it.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thanks for reading the first chapter of the first fanfiction I've ever attempted. I have written a bunch of short stories over the years but this will be the first I've ever published in an open forum. A few reasons for that. First, like most of the people I love my subject matter and I want to try and add to the story any way I can. If one person enjoys this, that's enough for me.
> 
> Second, I love both endings of the game and wanted to present a bit of a different take from the 'usual' LiS fanfic. Because of the dual endings of the game I wanted to write one story that tackles both of them and tells one story. This is going to be a series of events from both worlds we create with our decisions in game and explores the differences between the same persons (mostly Max) after a pivotal point of their lives. There is definitely going to be overall themes for each chapter but I really hope to explore the differences context can make in a person's reaction.
> 
> Third, and last, I'm writing in a different style than usual. It's a bit of a challenge I've wanted to attempt for a while. I'm trying to keep everything being portrayed in the present tense, to give the idea it's all happening as you read it. It makes it feel truer (to me) to the original media that's inspiring it, a video game. You experience the game as events happen; someone tells you something, not told you something. If that makes sense we're on the same page.
> 
> Final warning, though: I enjoy tragic endings. While I can promise some happiness, I am going to run these characters through emotional wringers. I'm not going to impulsively kill off people for the hell of it; like I said, I hope I'm good enough with presenting the context to let you accept the angst I'm putting the characters through.


	2. Pulled

_*** Saturday, October 12th, 9 am, After the Funeral *** _

Max wakes with a start and a start. That is, she wakes from her dream abruptly, in pain. It fades fast, as all dreams do. Or natural ones, in any case. She also wakes to begin the Saturday of this week, the first Saturday she's had in weeks.

The pain of the dream, though, doesn't fade with the memory. _Why's my back in so much pain? Wait, where- My couch. I slept on my couch._

Her bed is made up much more precisely than usual. _Victoria._ She must have already woken and left. _Of course her military-OCD precision would require her to fix the bed._ Immediately regretting the negativity of that thought. _We stayed up past three. The talk was... good. I needed to talk to someone. It helped. Vicky listens almost as well as she talks._

A snicker. She had to get the blonde back last night for slipping up and calling her Maxine. So Victoria became Vicky. By the end of the night, though, neither had any animosity for the other girl calling her the "wrong" name. It was just enough snark to keep the girls in that safe zone. No longer enemies but only kinda friendly. Close enough to sympathize but far enough that the momentary gaps in armor can be dismissed without offense.

It was the same way with last night's conversation. Anything and everything except the last week. College and careers. Movies and books. Cute boys (and a few girls). Very few but surprisingly earnest laughs. And, of course, tears.

_Why can't I stop crying? I'm really hating acting like a cliché girl._

Even the thought brings more water to her eyes. Probably why she misses the loose-leaf note tacked to the bottom of her selfie collage. Precise but flowing script. Yup, that's Vicky.

_Getting coffee. Back soon._

_\- Victoria_

The emphasizing lines under her signature brings about another snicker. _Maybe I'll keep at this Vicky nonsense a bit longer._

 _But nicknames are- were Chloe's job._ Knees weaken. _Again with the damn tears. I'll dehydrate if I keep this up. Need to drink a pool worth of water. Otter in my water..._

When Victoria enters 20 minutes later, Max's eyes are red but dry. One look is all Victoria needs.

'Yeah, not even going to bother with the whole "how you feeling" thing.' The tray she leaves on the desk promises the sweet nectar of the morning gods. 'Didn't know how you take it. Got the sugar and creamer on the side.'

 _Black, for future reference._ 'Thanks, Vic.'

A sigh, as she sits with her own cup. 'Well, that's marginally better than Vicky.' A sip and a contented smiles plays across her face. 'I can't understand how I ever lived before coffee.'

'Oh my dog, I know! Sometimes it feels like the only thing to live for when I wake up.'

The pause in the banter writes a book.

'So, uh, Max. What are your plans for today?'

Tentative gestures show Max's tension. 'Nothing, really. I just- I just don't know what to do.'

Another unspoken conversation.

A deep breath underscores Victoria's response. 'Okay, let's get this out in the open. We're not friends. Not right now. But... but I don't hate you or anything. Last night was good. I'd like to do it again. And I'd like for us to really be friends.' The look of her face perfectly showcases a moment of self-disgust. 'I sound like a jock after a one night stand.'

That bring true laughter to Max. _I can laugh after only a day._ 'I know what you mean, Victoria. We _aren't_ friends. But we don't have to be at each other's throats any more. You're a... good rival.'

Crestfallen, now. 'I don't want to be rivals.'

The brunette immediately continues. ' No! No, not like, like enemies. We just, we're from different circles. Different friends, different families. But we both are, well, photographers, I guess. We are going to compete. We want a lot of the same things. We just go at it in different ways. It's like sports, I think. We can compete and yell and get all emotional but, after the game, we still shake hands.' Max's turn to display her emotions. This one: confusion. 'I don't know if I'm even making sense.'

Victoria raises a palm. 'No, I get you. We won't be girlfriends day-tripping to the mall. But maybe I can share my portfolio, get some insight.' It doesn't sound like a question but the slight vulnerability has Max take it that way.

 _Yeah, sure._ 'Yeah, sure. We'll swap techniques.'

Victoria's smile, the small one with her lips firmly shut, makes itself known. Max had learned this was her real smile. Victoria with bared teeth should be treated the same way as a wolf.

'So, Max, since we know you're not a mall-goer, same question as before. Plans?'

'Still no. But I am going to try talking with Kate. She- she's dealing with the worst out of all of us.'

'So, a plan. Go shower, I'll see if Katie's home.'

_*** Saturday, October 12th, 9 am, After the Storm *** _

Max wakes slowly, gritty-eyed. Her first thoughts are of rain and pain. The dream storm visited her again last night. As sharp as ever, losing none of the impact, the way some nightmares are want to do. Or unnatural ones, in any case.

The pain in her back from the flatbed of the truck, on the ither hand, is easier to get rid of. Brief but intense stretching loosens up the tightness.

_I need a real bed sometime soon. I wonder if their are any left in town._

A few unbidden tears come to her eyes. _Others will need them more. If there's anyone-_

A quick stomp on that train of thought, before she starts bawling again. _Oh, dog. When did I turn all clich_ _é weepy damsel?_

She quickly turns to the person best able to ground her, the lightening rod for her thunderstorm. The slightly unfocused blue blob of the back of Chloe's head is the only part of her visible from the cocoon of blankets she stole during the night. _No wonder I'm cold. Time to wake her. Time to face the... the everything._

True, they had a late night. After finding a 24/7 gas station to load up on food, their luck quickly ran out when there were no motels close by. Exhausted, they actually drove a few more miles from Arcadia Bay, a semi-local, semi-highway route, until they found a closed park. A couple hundred yards past the "Do Not Enter" sufficiently shielded them from passing cars, and the blankets in the truck turned into quite the uncomfortable bed.

They stayed up much of the night, not talking except to ask if the other was awake. Just lying on their backs, staring at stars.

_I shoulda known she was going to steal the covers when she let go of my hand. Well, my turn now._

A few sharp pokes in her lower back is enough to start rousing Chloe. But only the magic word is enough to really wake up the bluenette.

'Bacon...'

Abruptly sitting up, Chloe almost knocks heads with the younger girl. _Lucky. I should be awarded "Best Alarm Clock Ever" for that._

'Caufield, if you're just taunting me there will be hell to pay.' The yawn punctuating the statement belies the threat.

 _No award, then._ 'Nope. It's more of a promise. A promise of bacon and coffee if our driver can get her butt in gear.'

'Okay, sure. Just gimme a few minutes to get over you breaking my heart. A girl can only take so much, you know.'

A snicker and a skoff. _A snoff? Kinda like that._ 'Oh, shut up. You love me. Like you wouldn't forgive me.'

_Crap!_

'Yeah, that didn't get awkward Maxaroni.' A flick and a deep drag of a cigarette. 'So let's clear this up. You and I, we're it. We're together forever. Pirate pals, superhero and sidekick. We're going to take this world by st- by force.' Another drag, trying to hide her misstep. 'But we are going to get nowhere if we tiptoe around stuff. All the crap is in the past. Let's try to keep the worst of it there. So, new rule, firstmate. When we say or do something like, well, like what made your face turn into a tomato, we acknowledge it and move on. Savvy?'

'Savvy.' _Wait._ 'Wait, why am I the firstmate?'

'Because. You may be Super-Max, but I'm still the pirate queen.'

'Your logic is unflappable.'

'Avast, you landlubber. Get in the truck. Time to shove off and make for ports unknown.'

The silence that settles in the truck is a complacent one. The kind you build over years of trust. But Max is annoyed by it, all the same. _Why am I having trouble talking? So much to say. About Arcadia. About J-Joyce, and David, and all the crap Chloe missed this week._ Instead, she plays with the vent and tries to find some indie rock in Chloe's CD collection. 'You know, they invented these cool little devices that can hold, gasp, thousands of songs at once.'

The narrowed eyes don't quite match the inflection of her voice. 'Did you just say "gasp"?' A final pull of the cigarette before tossing it and rolling up the window. 'This old machine can't connect to an iPod. Besides, there's something, I don't know, purer, listening to a CD.'

'Am _I'm_ the hipster?'

'Shuddap, dork.'

'Dweeb.'

'You can be really bitchy in the morning.'

'That's why coffee is so high up on the to-do list.'

Silence reigns once again. Time passes, doing what it does. _Well, unless I'm around._

'You do know where we're going, right?'

'It was dark last night. Gimme a break. I just gotta backtrack to the highway and we'll be home.'

The silence changes.

'Just give me your phone. I'll see if I can find directions.'

'I don't have internet on it. Why not use your own?'

'Got kinda trashed yesterday. In the- in the rain.'

'Great.'

Time starts to sour.

'Great! I can't find the damn highway because everything looks hella different at night and I was hella tired. Now we're going to be driving in circles until we run outta gas!'

'Chlo...'

'WHAT?'

Snap.

_She's gotta stop. I know what's wrong, but she's gotta say it._

Chloe's knuckles death-grip the steering wheel. All Max can really see is her profile, maybe something in her eye. They are sitting at the stop sign for minutes as Chloe tries to decide between left or right.

The brunette inhales, trying to gather the courage right out of the air. 'Look, Chloe, I know what's wrong. You've been focused on me. Saving me. I love you for it. But we don't know what is... left. Or who.'

A lull in the conversation. Perfect timing for Chloe to step in. But she remains silent.

'Talk to me. You just ruled that we need to acknowledge these moments. So do it.' Still as stone. 'Come on Chloe! I know your scared about Jo-'

'Don't say it!' Flick and drag. 'Yeah, stupid rule. So, new one. I need air.' The truck door almost rebounds back through Chloe as she kicks it open. 'Here.' A small box lands in Max's lap. 'Call _your_ m-mom. I need... I need to think.'


	3. Repercussions

_*** Saturday, Just Before Noon, After the Storm *** _

The buzzing in her ears is bad enough. The stuffy truck is too hot and the outside air is too cold. _Of course she'd take the keys. Like I'd leave without her._ Again with the buzz. Buzz. Buzz. _Come on, puck up the damn phone._ It takes Max over an hour to work up the nerve to call home. Now, by the incomprehensible justice of the universe, she is the one made to wait. Until.

_Click_

'Joyce? It's Vanessa. Joyce, are you there? Have you heard from the girls?'

Her arms and legs are numb from the adrenaline rush. Even her lips are tingling as she tries to find the words. Any words.

'Hello? Joyce?'

'...mom...'

Max can't hear much more than a high-pitch shriek, incoherent babbling, and honest-to-goodness weeping. More than half those tears are her's.

After multiple assurances of well being and a few declarations of love, the two Caulfield's finally start filling in the past 24 hours for each other. Vanessa had received half a dozen calls from half a dozen number, mostly from Joyce. Most residents are gathering at the hospital, the local and county police organizing search efforts. The governor declared a state of emergency last night, and FEMA starting showing up early this morning. Ryan _(Dad)_ only left to come down about an hour prior. They had gone to bed right after movie night without checking the news and only found out when Joyce finally got in touch. She was playing tag with Vanessa ever since. All the landlines were out (no one was sure why, exactly) and most cell service was down. Joyce was borrowing phones from the 'call bank' that was set up at the hospital. Basically half a dozen offices where people left their cells for anyone to use. A few volunteers took messages for any incoming calls.

Yes, Joyce is fine. Well, not exactly fine.

'Her leg got crushed by a fallen telephone pole. Her knee and shin. Hit her head too. But you know Joyce. Played it off as a scratch. The doctor looking out for her, he's handing out phones to patients to use, he spoke to me first. They can't use all the equipment so they don't wear out the gas generators they have keeping the hospital lit - they even shut most of the lights - so they haven't done all the tests you'd expect yet. Who knows, they might of checked on her by now. But, honey, it sounded bad...'

'Thanks Mom. I'll... I'll let Chloe know.'

'And Dad should be there by this evening. He loaded up all the truck will all our non-perishables and every tool he's never used, so, all of them.'

_Well, Dad, you'll finally get to wear that tool belt unironically._

'So, where are you, exactly? I'll look up the directions and text them to you.'

Less than ten minutes later a dozen directions appear on the phone. They are closer than expected, barely half an hour out. _Time to find Chloe._

Max heads off in the direction Chloe went, straight into the woods, hoping the bluenette didn't go too far. A couple hundred yards in and Max can barely hear herself breathe. It is not a very thick forest but has the weight of age around it. Not the monsters of the redwoods, or the density of a jungle. No, the forest just has the gentle pressure of something that existed long before man, and would be here long after. A moment of panic grips Max. _No idea where to go._ A snap and a rustle spins her around. The rear haunches of a deer are disappearing into the woods. _No way... Okay, let's... let's try this._

She follows the doe, only just keeping it in sight. Max's gets more confident as they travel. The deer is always only a few trees away, Max neither gains nor loses ground. Not fifteen minutes later, the animal takes off through the underbrush. Max waits a beat, searching, and hears a quiet keening of an injured animal. _Wait, is Chlo..._

Just past the last bushes is Chloe, hunched and shaking. _Oh, Che..._ The pain of her best friend cuts through her core. A vicious hit. Nearly as bad as the alternative reality of Chloe in the chair...

'Chlo! Your mom's okay!' The brunette wraps her arms around the trembling girl, not quite encompassing both her torso and knees. 'I talked to Mom! Joyce is alive! Just calm down, we'll see her, you'll see her soon.' Planting kisses on top of her head, all Max can do is rock her and keep whispering. 'We're fine, she's fine, we'll be okay.'

Chloe's quaking redoubles, as the relief takes over. Full sobs emit from her, interspersed with the wail Max heard before. It's some time before she can get ahold of herself. Her voice is raspy when she can talk.

'how?'

 _Oh, Chloe, you've been crying for hours._ 'I got my Mom. She's talked to yours. She's at the hospital.'

'...david?'

'I- I don't know... Joyce was, eh. Joyce got hurt. It sounds bad. Between landlines going down and bad cell service, no one seems to have a phone. A few people with working ones have been sharing them around.'

'must be why i got like fifty calls and texts from random numbers...'

'Wait, when?'

'over night. i shut off my phone after... after the storm.' A cough. 'didn't read the messages either.'

'But why?!'

'...didn't want to know if...'

And there it is. As much time as Chloe spent protecting Max was spent on avoiding everything else. Every moment she spends worrying about Max is also spent worrying about others. But her friend is the problem right in front of her and the easier problem for Chloe to dig her horns into. Her single-mindedness is both her biggest strength and flaw. _Oh, why would you do that to yourself? I know its for me, but why? After all the crap I put you through you can take a moment and..._

'You hurt yourself for me.'

Not a question.

'I know why you did it. I was really fucked up. I still am. I freeze up a little just thinking about the Bay. But you can't do this.' The taller girl finally looks up, 'I've been borrowing your strength this whole time.' A playful smack of the top of Chloe's head. 'Doesn't mean you can't borrow mine.' _Dammit, she's going to cry again._

But no tears fell. 'it's not just that. mostly, maybe, but. i just can't lose anyone else.' Another tremor. 'after dad and you and rachel. i'm always alone. i can't do that again. i can't handling losing m-mom. or david.'

'or you.'

The weight settles.

'You're not going to lose me-' 'no'

_Wait, what?_

A centering inhalation. 'i am. one day you're going to find someone else. some guy comes along. or you just get fed up with my shit. you'll be moving on to bigger things than some dropout reject. you don't get it. i break everything i touch.' And finally 'why did you save me?'

 _So this conversation._ A part of Max hopes the answer was obvious, even if she isn't sure what the answer is. A part fears she doesn't have the right answer. A part understands the girl's pain. A part is angry and hurt the question needs to be asked.

'I need you. In my life, I need _you_. Not just want. I gave you up once before. I won't do it again.'

'for now'

A flare of that anger. 'No! Not for now. For always. And you don't get a say in this. You don't get to push me away just because you think I'm going to do it first. That is NOT how it's going to happen Chloe Price.' Almost yelling at this point, Max grips Chloe's arm tight enough to get a wince from the girl. 'You're _mine_. And I'm _yours_. And that's the end of it.'

'then i dare you to kiss me.'

'Wh-what...'

'kiss me. because that's how i need you.' The intense look on her face shows she's looking for something wholly different from the other morning. 'when i said together forever, that's how _i_ need it. and anything less isn't enough.'

_No! I don't know! I mean, I kinda knew she felt... But I don't know how... Am I in lo-_

'what's your answer Caulfield?'

_*** Saturday, Just Before Noon, After the Funeral *** _

'I can't find Kate anywhere, Max.'

'Yeah, no luck either. I texted her and-' Buzz '-and the universe know's how to time things. Kate's having lunch with her Dad. Weird. Guess that's who was with her yesterday and the, the funeral.' The pause is barely noticeable in her speech. 'I didn't know he drove in.'

'Of course, I finally want to get all self-sacrificial and Kate goes out to lunch.' Max gives Victoria an incredulous look. 'Don't look at me like that. I'm a conceited bitch. And damn good at it.'

_At least she understands the meta for this... whatever._

Sign. 'We'll just see her later then. So, plans falling through. What now, Max?'

'...Um, lunch?'

_What's with all the 'we'? Did she decide I should fill in for Nathan? Or is she really trying to be my friend?_

'Okay, lunch then. But none of the stuff they serve on campus. How about the diner?'

'NO!' Max is taken aback by her own vehemence. 'Just not- not the Two Whales. I can't. Not yet.'

Victoria takes no offence. 'Sure, fine. How about the pizzeria? Not as good as New York. Hell, not as good as Seatle for that matter. But the Sicilian is passably good and they stopped carding me when I ordered a few catered parties for the Vortex Club.'

'So long as no one's drinking, I'm game.' The begin to walk out of the dorms. 'So, what is going to happen to the Vortex Club now?'

'I don't know? I could restructure it, I guess. Use the vortex-storm symbolism for something other than our parties.' Max almost trips the last few steps. 'The funds are going to be all dried up, you know. It was all part of Papa Prescott's plan to fix his son. He figured if N-Nathan was properly distracted he couldn't interfere with the "Pax Prescott" he's trying to build out of Arcadia Bay.'

_So, while we're on the subject, let's see how far this not-friendship goes._

'We could take about him if you want.' Sitting in Victoria's Mercedes. 'Or even... even Nathan. You know, the one from before... everything.'

_Plunge taken._

Victoria sits in the car for a moment, looking at her keys. Starts it up and pulls out of the parking lot. 'Yeah, I'd like that.'

Acoustic guitar starts droning out of the stereo. _Swans, I think. Yeah, must be off their new album._

'So, let's start at the beginning, I guess. We met at a private junior high, outside Seattle. One of those schools where everyone has money, so the difference is between a seventh or eighth digit of your bank account. Nate was in all my art classes. Always creating dark stuff, but, like still funny? Jhonan Vasquez-style. You know he's doing a comic spin-off for Fringe, right? Jhonan, I mean.' Victoria needs a moment to get back on track, lighting a cigarette and rolling down the window. 'Anyway, Nate... was always disturbed. Not like in a dangerous way, not then. He just saw things differently.' A laugh. 'I guess we all do. That's why we went to art school. Just, back then? He seemed so _insightful_ , like he could peel back reality and see what's actually _real_.' Pausing at the stop light, she continues as it turns green. 'What do I know, I was just a kid.'

'You're still just a kid, Vicky.'

Narrowing her eyes, her response is a little heated. 'No I'm not.'

The absurdity of _that_ statement has both of the girls truly laughing.

'No, really. We're eighteen. Our lives have been school for over a decade. Yeah, we're going through some adult crap. But that doesn't mean we've grown up.' _Time for my sharing._ 'Honestly, most days I feel like the furthest thing from an adult.'

A pensive look overtakes Victoria's profile. _Her face is so expressive when she isn't in default simmering-rage mode._ 'You may be right, Max. Most days... most days I feel just, like, myself. Even after the puberty fairy came and went I didn't really think I _felt_ different. But I see a lot of my younger self in a childish light. I've really moved away from all the kids things I used to like.'

_Don't mention anime dolls. Don't mention anime dolls!_

Victoria continues, unaware of the laughter that threatens to spill from the small brunette. 'I don't know. I just stopped expecting someone to come up to me and say " _You're an adult, get a 401k_ ". Instead I just try and, well, be adult.'

The car glides smoothly into the parking spot. Surprisingly, a few exterior tables are still being serviced. 'Let's eat outside, Max. It's not cold out yet and I _love_ the New York feel eating under an umbrella.'

'That's twice you mentioned New York. You visit it much?'

'Yeah, a few times before I came here. My parents traveled a lot when I was younger scouting for talent. Mostly my Dad, and I sometimes went on the trips with him. San Francisco, LA, New York, Miami. Miami sucks in the summer, bee-tee-dubs. As Mom always put it, she's got the head for the business but had nothing on "Father's eye". It's why the Chase Space works so well for them.' A pause as she takes a sip of water and looks over the menu. 'Yes, _that_ Chase Space.'

'I, uh, I kinda knew. I didn't want to bring it up if there was any hard feelings. You know, a photographer raised by photo critics.'

A smile, tight and small, still managing to light up Victoria's face. 'No! It was amazing! It's why I love art. Growing up, seeing all the different meanings a single expression could contain. Our first location was right below our apartment. I used to sneak down there and sit with my father as he poured over the portfolios submitted. The best, though, was when I was there alone. I had to be around ten? I would sit on the floor in front of a picture or painting until I fell asleep. It happened a few times before my Mom would just give me run of the place on the days we were closed. Her sister asked her about it one day. My Mom just goes "She's an artist. I can't stop that. Let her see good art". That may be my favorite memory growing up.'

The waiter comes and takes their order. _A whole pie. Large, too. Then again, I'm hungry enough I don't really expect leftovers._ 'Okay Max, I'm done talking. I'm getting all personal and crap so it's only fair I get to learn something about you. But-' The hesitation is surprisingly thick. '-but it's pretty personal and really, really rude.'

_Victoria Chase, rude? Bestill my beating heart!_

'Shoot.'

'Okay, but don't get mad.'

'I'll try not to.'

A pause. 'Did you love Chloe?'

 _What?_ 'Really? Of course I did-'

'No no no. I mean, just from the way you talked about her, eh, last night. You called her your "other half". That's not something you just say about a best friend. I was wondering if you were _in_ love with her.'

 _Uh-bwu-wha? I, uh, I don't know. I never really thought about that._ Max's face is contemplative. _Well, that's not true. But my best friend? And right after five years? But, the kiss. On the cliff, right before the- the butterfly photo. That was just a friendly kiss. Right? Did I fall in love with her without realizing it?_

Tears come to her eyes and Max forms her reply. Different tears than those over the last few days. 'I think... I think I di-'

'LEAVE ME ALONE!'

_Huh?_

The back of an obviously irate blonde girl recedes down the sidewalk, just as obviously leaving the same restaurant. At the still closing door is an older man, looking somewhat hurt and obviously embarrassed. _Wait, I know him... Which means._

Max is out of her seat, trying to catch up, Victoria only a step behind. 'Wait up, Kate!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, three chapters done. Cliffhangers in both times. Brings me to the end of my pre-written work. Now that figured out the nuances of the website I should be able to post moderately quickly as long as I can keep writing.
> 
> Which brings me to the biggest issue I've had so far with this: writing from a female perspective. I've rewritten sections of the next few chapters more times than I care to admit. No shock, I'm a guy, and I realize much of my original works come off as masculine. It can be difficult to phrase what I have to say from a female pov, never having delt with issues from that side of the gender line.
> 
> Which is another reason why I enjoy LiS. Max was never a 'girlie' character. Part of the reason I called out my own overuse of tears in the last chapter. Not saying Max is 'too masculine'. Her sex just doesn't define her. Her character does. All I'm trying to accomplish is keeping that character going. But when I stray too far from a believable '18 year old girl who also controls time, btw', criticism is welcome.


	4. Salt

**_Trigger warning - themes of sexual assault._ **

_*** Saturday Afternoon, After the Funeral *** _

_How is she so much faster? Our legs are the same length._

Max needs to sprint the last 20 feet to catch the blonde before she crosses the street. She is a bit winded when Kate finally turns around at the touch of Max's hand. 'Kate, wait. It's me. What's wrong?'

Her light makeup askew and the normally perfect bun coming undone, Kate looks quite a bit messier than usual. The bags under her eyes, as well as the redness, has Max remembering the last time she saw the girl in this state. _Last Tuesday. The never-was Tuesday. But, but the roof... Oh, I didn't save her here. She hasn't been getting better yet._

_I haven't saved her **yet**._

'Oh, hi Max.' She sniffs hard, either on the verge of tears or just stopping them. _I hate seeing her like this._

'Katie, what's wrong? Was that your dad?'

'Yeah. We just... nothing. It's nothing.' The petite girl looks around, a little lost. 'What are you doing here?'

'Me and Victoria are out to lunch.' _Still sounds weird._

'Victoria? Where...'

'She's...' The taller girl has yet to follow them. Standing by the front door and reaching into her purse, she is talking with one of the waiters. _At least the staff doesn't think we're going to dine and dash. Though you do have to dine first._ 'She's taking care of the bill, see? Front door.'

'Wait, you're out with _Victoria_ , having lunch?'

'Yeah, it's weirding me out too.' Max refocuses on Kate. 'But that's not why I'm standing here. What's wrong, and don't tell me nothing.'

'N-not here. If... can I get a ride back to the dorms, I...' Her uncertain tone, with her already tentative nature, makes her seem downright scared. 'Please, help me back to school. I just don't want to be outside right now.'

'Yeah, of-of course. I'll get Vicky.'

A quick giggle and a hand over her mouth. 'Vicky?' Kate smiles, though it doesn't quite break into her eyes.

Max has nowhere to go, though. Victoria is already walking towards them. Her face impassive, except for the eyes, which are locking on the Kate, searching for signs of distress. As she stops in front, in usual Victoria fashion, she takes ahold of the situation. 'Okay, our pizza was almost done anyway. They'll throw it in takeout and we'll be back to school in ten minutes. But whoever's sitting up front better be _extra_ careful holding it. Stains _do not_ end up on my car.' The emphasis of this statement is directed squarely at Max.

Kate chimes in. 'Oh, I don't know if I want the responsibility...'

'Don't worry, I'll take one for the team. But Vicky, how'd you know?'

Narrowed eyes from one blonde are counterbalanced by the amusement from the other. 'Because, _Maxine_ , our girl here just got in a row with her father in public. The only things in the direction she's walking are Blackwell and the bars. Since I assume none of us are day drinkers, I'm taking her home.'

Again a giggle. _Thank dog she's laughing._ 'What is up with the two of you? The cutsie-frenemy routine.'

'Max and I are working on a feminist translation of the core comedic values of Abbott and Costello. You know, school art show.'

'Wait, really?'

 _Sigh._ 'No. It's a biggish conversation. We'll get into it once Victoria gets us back.'

'Yeah. Looks like the pizza's ready. Grab it Max and I'll see about getting Katie wedged in my back seat.'

The silence of the car ride back prevents any conversation from forming. Twenty minutes later three girls and two paper plates ('No thanks, I ate already.') have formed a rough circle in Max's room. _A bit diplomatic. Neutral ground for the two of them._

After everyone settles and the two of them start in on the pizza, Kate jump-starts the conversation. 'So I, uh, don't want to be rude. But, um, why _are_ the two of you hanging out all of a sudden?'

Since Max was mid bite Victoria fields this one. 'We had a long talk last night. I, uh, I... You know. I apologized to Max for the way I've been treating her. Just like I did with you, Katie. And I **am** sorry! I need you to know that.' _It's weird seeing Victoria feel guilty from the outside. She seems... really earnest._

Kate gives the taller girl that beatific smile she's so good at. 'I already told you Victoria. I forgive you. It wouldn't be very Christian if I couldn't accept a sincere apology.'

 _Oh, never change Kate._ 'So, yeah, after Victoria came over we just talked for a while.' Max takes over the conversation, stumbling in her usual fashion. 'We realized that, you know, both of us are pretty messed up right now. And that we, um, we really didn't have any good reasons to be, well, to be mean to each other any more.' _Time to plunge._ 'And, um, we kinda talked about you too.'

'Oh?'

Victoria, thankfully, takes over. 'Yeah, Katie. I kinda told Max what you told me. About- about the photos. And the rest.' She stares intently at her half-eaten slice, hoping to find her next words hidden in sauce and cheese. 'I'm sorry. Again.'

'...oh...'

All three of them stare at their hands, appetites forgotten and melted cheese cooling.

Max finds her voice first. 'We're both worried. I- I saw your room the other day. You changed it. It was dark. You tore up your drawings. The mirror was covered. I-' _When did I get so confident?_ 'I know what that means. I know the signs.' Max glances up. Kate is stone still, but tears can be seen tracing her cheeks.

Pause.

'...i've been in a bad place. i was think... i was thinking about. um. hurting myself.' A sound breaks a bit of the tension, originating not from Kate but Victoria. Just a slight shudder and a little whimper of pain. 'after the party i couldn't figure out what happened. i was hurt and i couldn't figure out how or why. and with everyone here hurting me-' She abruptly looks over at Victoria. 'i know you didn't know. i know you were just, you know, being a high schooler. and i know you're sorry. but, you hurt me.'

Victoria is crying hard now, and reaches over, pulling the smaller girl into a fierce embrace. Over and over she chants. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry...'

'i already forgave you. can't take it back now.' They break apart, and as crestfallen as she looks, Victoria has stopped crying. 'but that's not the worst.'

_No, not her mom..._

'i called home tuesday. the police had already talked to me and my parents. they were getting ready to come down and talk in person. but.' A shudder rocks her small frame. 'but i didn't know my aunt was coming too. thought she'd stay and look after my sisters. when they got here, father took us straight to the police. he talked to them alone first. as soon as the three of us were alone in the interview room my aunt started in on me. not, you know, directly. but little things. like how it was a mistake to let me live alone. that boys were corrupting me. that she **never** thought something like this would happen to **her** family.' The small girl starts gathering steam, her depression being replaced by anger. 'She blamed Me! It was my fault for acting like a harlot. My fault that sicko took advantage of me! And then, like it's some silver lining, she looks at Mother and says "Well, at least she wasn't raped"!'

The rage Kate feels is mirroring on the other two.

'Like that's the difference! That makes it okay. I wasn't violated _that_ way so this- this thing can't be as bad! And my mother! MY OWN MOTHER! What's she doing? Just sitting there. Like some monk, nodding along and agreeing. My own f-family is sitting there, talking about how I'm some kind of _whore_ who deserved it!'

The three girls break is three separate way. Kate folds herself up, hiding her head between her knees. She can't keep the sobs from coming now. Victoria again embraces her, unable to find words and electing to instead just shush her gently, trying to calm. And Max...

Slowly her right hand raises from her lap. She can barely see her own fingers through her own tear, and the two blondes are indistinct. _I can go back. I can_ _stop this. I can stop-_ She shakes her head. _No. It won't erase this. Kate still needs help. I can go back... But when has that helped. Last time I almost... almost killed everyone. No. "The only way out is through." Thanks, Frost._

'Fuck 'em.'

Kate peaks up from under the embrace. Victoria has a look of surprise of her own.

'...wha...'

'Yeah. Fuck 'em. They're family, and I'm sure you still love them. But they aren't helping you. We will. And we'll get others to help you. Katie, we both love you very much. And we won't just abandon you. We'll be your support, your...'

'...sisters.' _Yeah, Vicky, exactly._

'Yeah, exactly. Sisters. **We're** family. And we aren't going to let you go it alone.'

The smile on the petite girls face is aided by the tears now. 'really? that's...'

The old Victoria takes over. 'Yeah, we're amazing.' But she immediately softens. 'And so are you. So. No more bandage-tearing today. Un-unless you want to?' A quick head-shake negative. 'Now, you're going to spend all day watching movies and getting fat on ice cream and pizza. Trust me, getting fat and laughing about it is the ultimate fix for broken hearts.'

_*** Saturday Afternoon, After the Storm *** _

'what's your answer Caulfield?'

The question rings in Max's ears. _What? How do I answer?_ She stares intently at Chloe's face. Tiny, subtle shifts show that the bluenette is slowly, slightly, losing her composure. That mask she puts on is slipping. _Oh, Chloe, I love you. But... I can't know, can I? I could always rewind... No, I can't. I couldn't do that to her._ Grim determination steals over Max. _No. I **have** to know. If I do..._

Done hesitating, before her courage leaves her, Max leans in the last six inches and puts her lips to Chloe's.

It's uncomfortable, those first few moments. Chloe, who still doesn't expect this response, is paralyzed. Max, who has had a total of one other kiss in her life (abet with the same person), doesn't know quite what to do, just pressing their closed mouths together, hoping to figure it out soon.

And they do. After both their initial shocks, lips soften. The intensity builds, and lips part. A soft sigh escapes from one of them, but neither can tell which. And neither care. Something flares in Max's chest. Something she realizes was only ever hinted at this past week with Chloe. That is came _from_ Chloe. And it feels right.

Max tries to order her thoughts. _I- I guess. I guess that was... alright. Alright? That was amazeballs. Like, totally-_

'wowzers...'

Max playfully slaps the tall girl's shoulder. 'That's my line.'

A wide grin splits Chloe's features. The first in days. 'can't help it. you stole my breath away.'

Laughter, real earnest laughter, emits from Max. 'Oh. My. _Dog._ You're such a dork.'

'i'm _your_ dork.'

Happy tear, plain old happy-to-be-alive tears, threaten to spill. 'Yes. And I'm yours.'

They stay there for a time, holding each other, just needing the closeness that comes from the one you love.

'you know, that's the first kiss i had that tasted like crying.'

Another slap, this time on the top of her head. 'Chlo, you just love to ruin the moment.' A look of relief crosses her face. 'Though it's good to know they aren't supposed to be so salty or... wet.'

'what do you mean?'

'Well.' Max pauses for dramatic effect, in spite of the blush rising to her face. 'That's technically my first kiss. Or second. Or third, really. But they were all with you.'

The puzzlement is all over Chloe. 'i don't get it...'

 _No wonder she likes to tease me._ 'Well, you dared me last Wednesday. And at first I kissed you. But I was, like, mortified and rewound it before it even ended. But, the next time when I _didn't_ kiss you, you looked so hurt I had to go back and, er, do it _again_. So, that's what you remember.'

Chloe's eyes narrow over the span Max's tale. 'you little minx. using me like that.' But, in contrast to the daggers being stared at Max, the devilish grin tells the brunette what Chloe is really feeling. 'you know i'm going to get you back for this.'

'What ever will I do?' They share a briefer kiss this time, chaste, an affirmation of this new level to their relationship.

They rise, heading back to the truck. Chloe, thankfully, knows the way. Max is still lost. _Lost in the woods. Much better without the evil stepmother._

The ride to Arcadia Bay is spent holding hands. No words, everything being said with furtive glances to one another. The trip is over almost before it starts.

The first glimpse of Arcadia Bay steals away every other thought in their heads, but their grips remain tight. The first sights that greet the two girls, even more than a mile out, are enough to send chills throughout.

Even a day later, the sky is crystal clear, the bay a perfect reflection of the blue above. The ocean itself was the stillest either has ever seen, a single pane of glass, seemingly ignorant of even the tides. All of it's normal chop has already been left ashore.

Tracing eyes inland, the first splashes of color greet them on the beach. Black and white and rusted, it seems every ship in the bay is beached, replacing the whales from only days earlier. Where before the houses closest waterside stood, the best of beachside property, either collapsed walls or foundation remains. Smoke still eminates from some spots, alerting emergency workers of unseen fires.

The majority of noticeable movement comes from those workers. For more than half a mile inland, the bulk of the devastation, hundreds of individual points of action can be seen. Some spots have strobing lights, showcasing where search and rescue was being aided by machine.

The sun was more than halfway through it's decent, closer to dusk than noon. It perfectly highlights the change in topography the last 24 hours has brought.

Max can't help herself. _A devastated golden hour._ The thought snaps her out of the fugue. 'Chloe. Hospital. Drive.'

'On it.'

The final approach to the Bay is slow, the truck weaving in and out of downed trees. As they properly enter town a checkpoint, manned by military types (minus firearms), awaits the girls. It takes Chloe only a few sentences to explain the situation and get them waved through.

It's a slow, stark drive to the hospital. Both girls are in pensive thought. _The destruction is... So much._ _We made so many people pay for..._ Max shook her head once. _No. The universe can't tell me what to do. I need, need to help. But sacrificing Chloe... That's murdering her._

She looks at the bluenette. _Would I have saved someone else? Would I have sacrificed the Bay for a stranger? I don't know. The storm asked me to kill Chloe. And- and we don't know if it would have even stopped then._

It is a flimsy excuse. Max knows that. But it's also true. She _didn't_ know if Chloe's death stopped the storm. Or if it was even her meddling with time that caused it. _The first dream happened before I messed with time. If my powers caused it then- then I still can't change it. I tore up the "Everyday Heroes" photo weeks ago. And William was five **years** ago. I still changed time. And I can't undo that._

Still staring at Chloe, she realises she couldn't go back now anyway.

Chloe parks in one of the few spaces left outside the hospital, crooked as always. They locate the right room with the help of an orderly and nearly knock over each other running up four floors of stairs. Max, surprisingly, beats Chloe, the taller girl slowing as they near the door.

Max grabs her hand. 'I'm here.' Drawing strength, they open the door together.

David sits slumped over, half in his chair and half over Joyce's left leg. The other hangs suspended, immobile and wrapped in bandages. Joyce herself lays peacefully in sleep, though leaning right from the weight of layers off gauze.

The sight shocks both into stillness, and grips tighten. '...mom.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, elephant in the room. I worked in a pretty serious idea, and I intend on dealing with it later more fully. But on the subject, I am thankful Dontnod approached the subject of what Jefferson and Nathan did to women the way they did. As a bystander to the story, I am very thankful it wasn't as graphic as it could have been. As portrayed, though, there isn't really a difference in my eyes, and certainly not in the eyes of a victim. In any case, the characters of Kate, Rachel, and Chloe went through an assault that is the same as what most people think of as sexual violence. All three had their wills taken away and were used. It's a difficult subject to try and portray in media without seeming too crass. It's as difficult for me to write about as it is to learn about. But ignoring it or glossing over it helps no one. Terrible people do terrible things and ignoring these events just empowers more people to perform the same acts depicted in LiS.
> 
> If you or someone you know needs help in a similar situation call: 1-800-656-4673 for help.


	5. Reunions

**_* Saturday Evening, 8ish, After the Storm *_ **

Chloe repeats herself, more forcefully. 'Mom.' Joyce wakes, taking a moment to focus before zeroing in on them. One eye locks on to Chloe, while the other seems off. She just stares for a long moment...

_Oh no. Is she..?_

...before a large smile graces her face and a whisper pushes past it.

'chlo.'

The older girl strides to her mother's side, dragging Max along, only letting go to return the open embrace being offered. After a minute, Joyce looks past her daughter to _tsk_ at Max.

'you too, honey.'

Like breakfast, Joyce is an expert at her hugs. Even bent over, trying and failing to find a way to Joyce's back and instead gripping her shoulders, the embrace both soothing and empowering. But Max detects a hesitation, of course Joyce isn't one hundred percent, but it seems like something more. Backing up, Max is worried about what comes next.

'so, how are you girls doing?'

'Really, Joyce?' David woke sometime in the last few minutes. 'I love your priorities but you confuse me sometimes.'

Another round of hugs, surprisingly initiated by David. Chloe looks unusually comfortable. 'It's good to see you too, David.'

'Don't go soft on me, kid.'

It takes Max to get everyone back on track. 'So, Joyce. You know we're aching. How- how bad?'

'Leg has a compound fracture, and knee has a bruise of some sort. My head, on the other hand...'

'It's a good thing you Price women have such thick heads.' David chimes in, a pained smile on his face. 'The telephone pole that collapsed on the Two Whales missed your mother. But the debris. It gave her a concussion... And. And there's swelling. Around her eye's nerve. She- she can't see.'

_Joyce. You lost... Oh no. You lost it for Chloe. I know you'd gladly do that for her. But, I didn't give you the choice. I took it._ Joyce gains a little vigor, now fully awake. 'I'll get it back. Papilledema, the doctors said. It's pinching the nerve. As it goes down, it'll come back. they've been giving me drugs to help it along.' She grabs her daughter's hand, who, if anything, is closer than when they were hugging. 'Don't worry honey. I'll be fine.'

Max steps up to Chloe, lightly rubs her back. 'We'll be here to help you. Both of you.' Chloe takes a glance at the younger girl, tears weighing against the smile on her face.

Joyce suddenly starts. 'Oh, Max! Call your mother!'

'Don't worry. We already talked to her. That's how we knew you were here.'

She sighs, and closes her eyes. 'Good, that's good.' Her voice begins dropping in volume. 'Now, you two only gave me... an hour... of sleep.'

'Okay Mom. I'll be right here.'

Joyce falls into slumber quickly. David though, even looking more tired than his wife, beckons the girls over to the far side of the room. His voice is low. 'Chloe, it's so good... We thought we lost you. I... I don't know what we would have done.' He looks over to the brunette. 'You too Max. I'm not leaving you out of this family.' David looks down, a bit sheepish. _Oh, busted. Now we have proof you're a big softie._

Chloe bullies onward, glossing over David's PDA. 'So, David. How is she? Really?' She's staring at the hospital bed as she asks this, tensing.

Her step-father runs a hand through his hair. 'Well, just what we told you. The doctors just finished a bunch of scans, 'bout two hours ago. It's been busy around here. They checked out her leg last night, it was the obvious injury. But last night her vision started blurring. With the other injuries... They couldn't fit her in right away. Now, well, we wait.'

'Hella right we do.' Chlo plops down in the chair previously vacated by David. She waves sagely to him. 'Sir David, step-father of the Iron Bitch. Your watch through the long night is done. Go get some shut eye.'

He chuckles. 'As the Lord commands.'

Max stands there, confused both by the interaction and the obvious quote. _Where did that come from? And... they're joking?_ 'Um, Highlander?'

The bluenette has a look of mock horror. 'Seriously, Maxaroni? How have you not seen Game of Thrones? Sex, murder, and dragons.' She hmms thoughtfully. 'Sounds like a retro death metal band.'

Max kisses the top of her head. 'You are such a dork.' She sees David eyeing them. 'W-what?'

He breaks into a small grin. 'About time the two of you figured it out.'

A blush overwhelms Max's face. Chloe's in full devil-grin mode. 'How'd you figure it out?'

David regards his step-daughter. 'Chlo, I watch people for a living. The two of you have been in here less than twenty minutes and have spent that time in constant contact. You're orienting yourselves to always have the other in direct line of sight. Besides, there's not many people in someone's life that can change you as much as you have, Chloe.' His smile hits full capacity. 'Plus your mother figured it out years ago, she says. Been waiting for you two to do the same.'

Both the girls are blushing now, staring at each other. 'Took you long enough to get back here Max.'

'I said I was sorry!'

'And you've been forgiven. But.' Just to tease the younger girl. 'But you're paying for our first date.'

David interrupts. 'See, knew you ladies would get it.' He goes to the door. 'Gonna go looking for a spare blanket.'

After his departure, they are left in silence. One sleeping, the others afraid to break the moment. Max takes the plunge.

'Chlo, I-I know you're going to stay here but.' Inhale. 'But I need to go check on, uhm.' Her voice shrinks. 'On everyone else.'

The taller girl looks up, a rarity from Max's perspective. 'Can you wait? I know you _need_ to do it, just I need to stay here but... I can come?'

'N-no, stay with your mom. I'll be back.' She leans in, greedily stealing a kiss. 'And thank you. For understanding.'

'A week ago I wouldn't. See, Caulfield, you're breaking my persona. Took me years to master the art of disenfranchisement. That's a word, right?'

'Dork.'

'You love it.'

Max wanders for a while, looking for someone who doesn't look busy. _Some master of space-time. Still won't interrupt someone for help._ She gets lost in the hallways, and with no one stopping or being stopped by her, she decides to head back down to the main desk. The first step of the landing down instead greets her with inspiration. _I know where to go..._

It takes another 15 minutes for Max to get her bearings. _Why is this place so big!_ The plaque above the ward she's about to enter bears the inscription "Prescott Family Psychological Health and Services". _Answering my own question. Sean Prescott must have been planning waaay long term if he funded this._

Walking through the open doors, the floor is quieter than much of the rest of the hospital. The nurse at the check-in station is on the phone, holding up one finger. Hanging up, she eyes Max, causing her to shrink a little.

'May I help you?'

'Yes. I'm here for... Kate Marsh?'

The nurse brightens up with a smile. 'Oh, you were here a few days ago! Sorry, she's gone for the evening. Go down two floors, directly below us. Children's section.' She nods at the stairs Max just left.

'Thanks.' _Children's ward? Were her sisters..._

As Max enters, looking around, it's her ears that locate her friend. Approaching a darker room that seems converted from play area to military barracks, abet with colorful figures on the smaller blankets, Max understands what's happening. Sitting in front of half a dozen children, ages eight to ten, with a small book, Kate has their rapt attention.' ...So shut your eyes while mother sings, of wonderful sights that be. And you shall see the beautiful things, as you rock in the misty sea, where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three: Wynken, Blynken, and Nod.'

She looks up from where she's reading, and immediately locks on Max. _Her smile could power this hospital by itself._ Talking to the children, she braces for an argument. 'Alright, time for bed.' The groans aren't as dramatic as what one would expect. 'Now, you know your parents are working hard to help people. It's time for you all to finish your job and make it easier for them. And, if you behave, I'll come by tomorrow and read some more.' That, more than anything else, gets them to their respective cots.

Closing the door behind their exit, the two friends immediately embrace. 'Thank God, Max. I prayed for you when you didn't answer your phone.'

_Well, if He's going to listen to someone, it would be you._ 'I figured. I was so worried too. It's been torture not being able to get in touch with everyone.'

With that, the blonde's face falls. 'You won't be able to talk to... everyone.'

'Oh... oh no.' Taking a moment to prepare, Max asks for what she truly doesn't want to know. 'who?'

'I've seen Victoria, Taylor, Juliet and Dana.' Kate is crying but seems oblivious of her tears. 'Courtney is missing, but they found her car. So is Alyssia.' A sob escapes. 'They found Daniel. By the beach. S-stella was in the... the diner when it collapsed. She was with a boy, but they don't know who.' Kate breaks. Max leads her away from the closed door to the children. Not that she's doing much better. They find a few chairs to rest in.

'and warren?' Her voice is barely a whisper.

'I don't know.' It comes out muffled, between the finger's covering Kates face. 'I don't know about anyone else. It's why I was down here. I had to do something but, but I'm not strong. Or smart. Or a survivalist or whatever you need for something like this.'

'Shh, you know that's not true.'

'That's not what I mean. I don't have the skills to help with something like this.' She looks up at Max, red rims surrounding her hazel eyes. 'i wandered down here and saw the kids running around. grabbed the book of poems from my room and sat them down. it's the least i could do.' _She seems almost... apologetic. Like she's the one supposed to be out there, fight fires and, and finding-_ 'with everything going on, my problems just seem so little. i just don't matter right now. not with everyone lost.'

Max keeps rubbing her back. 'Don't you dare think that's _all_ you're doing. Just entertained a bunch of kids while their parents saved lives? I think that saved more than just a few headaches for the parents in question.' She pushes the other girl upright, looks her square in the eyes. 'And don't you dare talk about _my_ Katie like you just did. She is smart. Smart enough to see me when I tried to help. Strong enough to step down when she needed to.' Neither girl can see the other anymore. 'She's a _survivor_. Not just of storms and bullies. She survived the worst people this world could throw at her. She's still surviving. And if you talk about her like that again, I'll tell her and she'll give you a tongue lashing you won't forget.' Kate tries her best to hug Max, but pulls them both standing so she properly convey her feelings.

'We've never really talked about **it**.'

'i know'

'I'm here when you're ready.'

'...i know'

'Sorry for, uh, mentioning it.'

'you're forgiven'

'But don't you _ever_ think like that again and not talk to me. Or someone. People love you Katie. _I_ love you. You're... you're my sister. Just wait 'till you meet Chloe. She's going to adore you.'

'...thanks max. love you too.'

Max grips her tightly. she thinks of the people already dead, and those who will die. _Not yet. Maybe not ever. But I'll do my best to earn your thanks and your love._

**_* Saturday Evening, 8ish, After the Funeral *_ **

'I think Vicky's asleep.'

'I don't get it. Is this guy saying Harrison Ford's a robot?'

'Yup, definitely asleep.'

'Is everyone a robot?'

'Shh, they're called "replicants". And Victoria's asleep. Watch, Batty is going to deliver "Tears in the Rain" in a few minutes.'

'Who's Batty?'

'Roy, the replicant.'

'I thought Ford was Deckard, not Roy.' A mischievous grin.

_She's got me._ 'Now you're just being difficult.'

Less than ten minutes later, the credits are rolling.

'Sorry Max. I've seen this one before. I just didn't want to disappoint Victoria when she saw it on Warren's hard drive.'

_Deja Vu, does everyone in Arcadia Bay love this movie?_ 'It's okay, it's one of my favorites. So, big question... Is Deckard replicant or not?'

Kate contemplates it for a minute. 'I don't think that matters. The real lesson is that being human is not the same as having humanity. Batty has as much humanity as anyone, because he can experience wonder.'

'Wow, Kate. That's... exactly what I'd expect you to say.'

'I know, right?'

'But why pretend you never saw Blade Runner?'

'Well, Victoria wanted to watch it.'

Max lowers her voice and glances at the prone figure snoring softly. _Even her snores sound "proper"._ 'Are you okay with her? Really?'

Kate follows Max's eyes and nods. 'Yeah. I am. I know she's changing, or at least trying. Which, to me, is the same thing.'

'Fake it till you make it?'

'If you keep acting nice, doing good, to try to be good, what's the difference from just being good?'

'Point taken.'

'Besides, when she's not being so mean, Victoria can be quite pleasant.'

A scoff and a snort. _A scort or a snoff? Decisions, decisions._ 'I'm just worried she's got some sort of alternative motive. Like, she's got terminal ugliness or something.'

'Max, that's unfair. Victoria's been through just as much as the rest of us.'

'...no, she hasn't.'

Another silence enters the room. Like many of the others over the last few days, the unsaid overflows the space. _No, gotta stop this "awkward moments of reflection" I keep doing. And it looks like I'm giving up my bed again._ 'We are going for a walk. Now.' Max grabs her keys, bag, and friend, heading straight for the dorm exit.

Kate takes lead, directing them to the toboggan. She stare at it, wrapping herself tightly. 'I can't talk about it. Not yet, Max.'

'Then I'll talk.' Max becomes silent. 'I don't know what to say.'

'Then just... Can I know? About her?'

Obvious puzzlement. 'Victoria?'

'No. Chloe.'

_Crap. Opened my mouth._ 'We met when we were little. I was five.' _Okay, no tears. Keep going._ 'She showed up at the diner while I was having pancakes and sat down right next to me. Her father, William, had already lost her, they just walked in. So she just sits down, asks for the salt, which Dad passed her, and uses it to draw an "X" on the table. I was totally weirded out by her, but she just sat there, humming to herself and playing with the salt. Joyce came over and spoke with my parents about whatever, but I just couldn't take my eyes off of her. She leaned over, still not looking at me, and says she's drawing a map to her buried treasure. I asked her what her treasure was and... And you know what she does? She looks at me, smiling, and says "I don't know. Wanna help me get some?" We were inseparable after that.'

_Oh, the Halloween costumes were pirates for, like, five years after that._ 'Anyway, that was Chloe. She bulls her way through anything in front of her, and woe to the obstacle in her way. If you haven't noticed, I'm a bit shy.' She chuckles. 'She balances me. I feel more confident around her, and she calms down around me.'

Kate's face shows concern. 'M-max, you keep saying "is". Like she's still alive.'

_Oh._ 'Y-yeah. I, uh. I guess I'm not dealing well.' _Crapcrapcrap._ 'I just. I can't believe she's gone.'

'Yeah. I understand.' The blonde girl reaches out, holding on to give as much as take support. 'It's hard losing a loved one.'

_You have no idea._ 'It's more though. I am- I mean, I was in love with her.'

'What?!'

_Damn! Super religious girl and admitting I'm gay. I'm gay? Guess I am._ 'Yeah... surprise.'

Kate's volume is a bit to loud for the time of night. 'That's so... so awesome!'

She embraces a shell-shocked Max. _Wait, what?_ 'What's it like, Max? Being in love, I mean.'

'Hold on a second. The whole fact I was attracted to... you know, a girl, doesn't bother you?'

'Why would it? You're my best friend. Holding something like that against you is as stupid as, as holding how mean Victoria _was_ against who she _is_. Besides.' She jostles Max. 'That part of the Old Testament also said not to work weekends, mix fabrics, or gossip. How would we survive without gossip?' Her laughter breaks the night.

'Shh, you'll get us caught. Let's get inside, and we'll talk about... about Chlo.'

Several hours later the girls find themselves exhausted. Max spoke at length about her childhood friend. The pirate escapades, secret forts. The wine tasting episode. Kate shared her discussion with her father. 'He tried. He really is trying. But he is trying to make peace _more_. He kept trying to get me "to see Mother's side of things".'

'Harsh.'

'Yeah, I know. I told him Mom doesn't get a side, it didn't happen to her. And he raised his voice at me. I-I hadn't heard him get angry in years. He's really laid back, mostly. But, for once, instead of being scared I uh.' Kate blushes, looking down. 'I got angry. Told him to get "p"ed. Except I used the other word for it.'

'Wait, you told your _dad_ , in a _restaurant_ , to _get pissed_? Wowser Kate, you have no idea how much laughter I'm holding in right now.'

'Yeah, it's kinda funny now. But I can't believe how angry I got. It's just, he's my father. He's supposed to be there for me. And instead he's stuck because my _Mom_ put him there.' She slams her hand in an overly dramatic, childish fashion. 'I just can't understand it. I don't get _her_.'

'I'm not sure there's anything to get, here.' Max yawns, unable to keep her eyes open anymore. 'I gotta call it a night.'

'...could you, uh, sleep over...'

Kate is beet-red, asking this. 'i really don't, um, want to be alone. it could. it could be a slumber party.'

Max realizes she too needs to be not alone tonight. _Too much. I've kept ripping the bandage off today. I could really use... I don't know. Assurance, maybe._ 'Yeah, sure. But I get the wall.'

Darkness.

'...max?'

'Yeah.'

'thanks.'

'Thank you too.'

Silence.

'...max...'

'Yeah?'

'...' A shudder takes hold of the girl. 'i'm going to cry now.'

'Yeah, me too.'

Sleep comes fitfully. It start, and stops, and the two girls lie side by side, holding hands. When the sadness overtakes one, the other is there to support. Eventually, they both find sleep.

Silence. Finally one that doesn't speak too loudly.


	6. Placid

**_* Sunday, October 12th, 7:30 am, After the Funeral *_ **

Sunlight weakly seeks the curtains of the window, in vain, as the westward facing window won't have a direct view for hours yet. Max wakes from the Storm, heart fast and reactions slow. It isn't the fear that wakes her.

It isn't the bushy presence in front of her face, either, though she wants to gag after the first deep inhalation. Dirty blonde strands fill her mouth, inducing that gag which threatens to become much worse. _Dammit. What a way to wake._ She creaks apart her arms, still fiercely hugging herself, to wipe away the offending hair. _Dammit again, it's a rat's nest._

Kate shifts, but doesn't wake, still flat on her back with one hand fallen from the bed. _These beds are not made for two._ Reflection offers insight. _Though, that's probably the point._

She extracts herself from the bed, taking care to keep Kate undisturbed. A creek accompanying her grabbing shoes and bag, a whisper from the door, and Max is about to enter the hall. _Wait._ She pulls out her camera, the first time in days now. Covert movements later and Max leaves the photo with a note on the back:

_Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone - Burgess_

Max chuckles at herself, knowing both how lame it is and that Kate would appreciate it. _I wonder if she's read "A Clockwork Orange". With the whole her-okay-with-me- **like** -liking-a-girl, maybe I'll get it for her._ In the hall, Max takes a moment to rethink that idea. _Or maybe I'll start her on something less... invasive. Like "Fight Club" or "Breakfast of Champions"._ She approaches her dorm. _I wonder if Victoria's up._

She is indeed, though has yet to vacate the premises. She jumps a bit when Max enters the room, still wearing yesterday's clothes. _Gah, this whole floor will go to the wolves if the fashion queen doesn't adhere to her own dress code._ 'Thanks Caulfield. Scared ten years out of me.'

Max notices where Victoria is standing, what she was doing. _Is she-_ 'Snoop much, _Vicky_?' _At least she has the capacity to look ashamed._

'I, uh. I. Yeah, I suck. But in my defence, you left your pictures out. Sorta.' She shuffles them back together when Max notices the top one. _No!_

'Don't touch them!' The brunette hurries over, all but ripping the stack out of the other girl's hands. Her speech degrades dramatically. 'How could you- I can't even- Just, just leave.'

Surprised by the fervor behind the smaller girl, Victoria digs her heels in. 'Hey! What gives? Max, this is some of your best work. That top one, with you and that girl-'

'Stop. Just stop Victoria. Just-' The shaking is so much, Max threatens to drop the photos even as she has to refrain herself from crushing them. _Not these photos. Not from the week... the week with Chloe. The week I can't have. No one gets to see these._

'Max? Max, you're scaring me.' Victoria looks crestfallen, and worried. _I must look crazy._ The blonde tries to deflate the situation. 'I'm sorry Max. I'm so sorry. Why-?' Knowledge. 'Oh. Oh my God. Is that-?'

'...Yes. It's Chloe.'

''Oh _no_. I'm so so so sorry. I'll leave, I'll go.' She turns at the door. 'Uh, sorry for crashing in your bed. Again. And, uh, thanks.'

'Wait!' _What am I doing?!_ 'You saw them. Let me explain.' _Can I? I'm lying through my teeth. How do I explain time travel pictures?_ Victoria hesitates. 'D-don't worry, I won't bite.'

'Okaaay.' They sit on the freshly made bed.

'So, where to begin?' _More like how. What lie is going to work here?_

_Let's start with some truth._ 'She and I bumped into each other the other day. You see, I guess I never really explained. After the move years ago, we never talked. Or wrote, or had any contact. I, uh, I didn't know how to deal with it. I was 13, okay? Her father just died, I just left the _state_. For forever, I thought.' _Inhale, exhale. Think this through, but not too hard._ 'We had a fight but- but it's Chloe. My best friend. She still is. Uh, was.' _Come on, keep it together._ 'Anyway, that picture is the morning after we snuck into the pool.'

' _Wait_ , Max Caulfield broke into the Blackwell pool?'

'Uh, it's not really breaking in when you have keys.' _Explain, Max._ 'Her step-dad's head of security.'

Rolled eyes. 'Yeah, of course. Just theft, then illegal entry.'

'Vicky...'

'Yeah, sorry. Just never thought you had it in you.' She smiles. 'You little _criminal_.'

Max blushes. _But it still hurts. To not really have these memories. Except for myself, this never happened._ She flips through the pile until one photo causes her to drop the rest. _This one._

'Max? You okay?' Victoria starts mumbling to herself. 'Of course not. Idiot. Not you Max! What is it? Which one-?'

'the butterfly...'

Looking down, Victoria's face is blank. 'I don't get it.'

'this. this photo. i took it in the bathroom. after j-j-jefferson's class.' She can't hold it in any more. 'i was in there when nathan came in. i took this picture just before. before.' The memories rush back. It's too much. A person can't hold this much in. Not her. It needs out. It wants out. And Max must let it. Full sobs wrack her body. 'God, why? Why did you need her? Why did you make me! WHY WAS I EVEN THERE!'

The taller girl embraces her. 'Damn it! Max, calm down. You're okay. I'm here. You're safe now. I'm here-'

'YOU'RE NOT HER! YOU CAN'T BE HER! I SEE HER BUT I CAN'T TAKE HER WITH ME! I CAN'T TAKE HER BACK! EVERYONE ELSE BUT I CAN'T HAVE HER!'

'Max! Why? Why are you doing this? Why keep this, this reminder of death?' Max pushes against her, looking to distance herself. Victoria holds on. 'Why are you hurting yourself holding on to this? All you're doing is hurting yourself over and over.' Gripping the smaller girl, she moves to take the picture.

_NO!_ 'NO!'

Everything stops for a moment.

A long moment.

The sort of moment that only Max can experience.

_No! It's just a blip. A little blip. I didn't rewind. Everything will be fine. Just let go..._

The two of them are still frozen, but time progresses. Quite a bit of time. The bathroom scene plays over and over. Both versions. Max trips the alarm. Max sits and weeps. Nathan ends up doubled over, gasping for breath. He fires. Chloe escapes. She dies. She dies. She dies, she dies, she dies...

Max snaps out of of the nightmare. Curled into a ball, head on a pillow. Victoria sits next to her, hand on shoulder and humming a tune. _How long?_ No clocks are visible, but her neck is stiff. _Must have fallen asleep._

'You had a panic attack. I know you're confused so listen. It lasted three, maybe five minutes. You felt like your were dieing, right? Yeah, a panic attack. After that, you cried and fell asleep. Maybe a hour?'

Max feels a shake. 'Look up, Max.' She does. 'Now, look. This is something that happens to many other people. But, Max, you got to deal with it. I want to help. So, talk to me. What is this picture? Why is it so important to you?'

'...victoria. it's my only way to reach her. my only way back...'

That thought has been floating in the back of her mind. Subconscious. A wound that won't close. _I can still go back._ It's the safety net Max has been holding on to. The image of a world with Chloe in it, of them sharing life again. Chloe grounds her mind, makes the day bearable. _Because I can still choose differently. I can still bring her back when I want to._ An infectious thought. A dark thought. _I can still kill everyone and bring her back._ It's not a good thought. Not one a person should know. _I can bring her back and-_

'Max, I don't understand but I'm here. Talk to me.' Max feels wet where Victoria's cheek touches her head. 'You scaring me. But I'm here. I want to help.'

'...i...'

_NO!_

'...i was in the bathroom.'

_No._

'...i took the photo.'

_Don't. Don't it hurts._

'i saw nathan come in. i saw him acting weird.'

_it hurts_

'and chloe came in. i saw... i saw the gun. and the fire alarm. i could stop it.'

_NO YOU CAN'T YOU'LL KILL EVERYONE YOU CAN'T STOP NATHAN YOU CAN'T SAVE CHLOE-_

'...i feel like i still can...'

_YOU. CAN. NOT. HAVE. CHLOE._

'...help me...'

Pause.

A normal pause.

A thick, worried, pregnant, full of pain and self doubt, full of all the things not spoken, full of a week that never happened and a future that won't happen pause.

But just a normal pause.

'God, Max. God damn it.' Anything left of Victoria's makeup is running away. 'This is so heavy. This is so much more than a person can- It's terrible. Just, just terrible. To see that...' She hugs even tighter. 'I don't know what to say here.'

'i don't know what i want to hear.'

'I knew you were around when out happened. Everyone was. But no one said anything about you in the room.' She gasps. 'Oh God. You saw it. You saw it happen.'

'yes.'

KEEP YOUR HAND DOWN YOU CAN'T STOP THIS YOU CAN'T-

'That's, um, that's why.. All of this. That's why you are so...'

'hella fucked up.'

'No! Well, yes. But. But you should be doing something. See someone. Get help.' Victoria is reaching through her purse, pulls out a breath mint box. 'These are... These are for my anxiety. Not like, you know, _drug_ drugs. Real doctor prescribed stuff. Twice a day. Keeps me level.'

Max breaks a wry smile. 'you? anxious? nooooooooo.'

A shove on the shoulder. 'Don't be a bitch.' A reciprocated smile. 'It works. I've been on them for about a year. Saw a shrink a few times too. Like a check up.' She strikes a haughty pose. 'I need to make sure my beauty goes more than skin deep.'

Giggle. 'thanks.' But serious again. 'but this might be beyond that.'

'No, Max. You need help. We both do. And Kate, too. But this is some professional-level crap. We... we aren't going to be enough.'

'...i can't explain why i can't talk to anyone.'

_Except to Chloe. But I left her. Had to._

Pitched voice. 'Why not? You think you're unique? Other people have been through this.'

_not like this. not like you._

_SHUT UP!_

_make me_

'Max, this is traumatic and fucked up on so many levels. And considering how we tie together with all this... I don't know if it's appropriate for _me_ to help you.'

'no! victoria, you have no clue how much you've helped.'

_Yeah, she can replace Chloe._

_I said shut up!_

_Maybe you can get her to dress all pirate-like. You should be captain though. To the victor goes the spoils._

_I'm not replacing Chloe. I can't. But... but maybe I can still have a friend like her._

_Ree-Play-Sing!_

_No. I just need- I need to see how far I can trust her._

'i don't need meds, vicky. i just need to figure out how to live.'

_To live with the guilt._

'to live with the guilt.'

'What? It's not your fault. You can't change what happened.'

_Wrong._

'yes i can'

_Bomb dropped. Shots fired. Am I going to do this?_

'Wh-what do you mean?' The concern has a spark of fear. 'Max, you can't change the past. No one can.'

'Yes. _I_ can.'

'O-okay, Max. this isn't funny. We've left Crazytown. You _can't_ change the past.' The mixture of fear and anger is an ugly combination on Victoria. 'This is not funny.'

Max goes on the offensive. 'No. This is serious. I can prove it.'

'WHAT? You seriously believe I'm even going to entertain the idea that-'

_Thump-thump-thump_

'Max! Wake up!'

'Juliet, not now!'

'Victoria? What? Nevermind. You both have got to come see the bay!'

**_* Sunday, October 12th, 7:30 am, After the Storm *_ **

Sunlight bathes the Price family as Max stands at the door, holding breakfast. Joyce sits quietly, stroking her daughter's blue locks as she slumbers next to her. David stares out the window, beholding the eastern mountains as light breaks through.

Max carefully places the tray by the door, pulling out her camera. _I need to capture this._ Only Joyce notices, but continues to smile down at Chloe.

_Click._

_Perfect._

'Hope you got my good side.'

'Every side's your good side, Joyce.'

She beckons to Max, lowering her voice to a more cospiritory level. 'David told me something interesting this morning, Max.'

She blushes, unable to maintain eye contact. _Why am I being weird about this?_ 'I assume it has something to do with me... and Chloe?'

'Yes.'

'And you are okay with that? With... us?'

Joyce's face lights up at that thought. 'Now why on earth wouldn't I be?'

Max leans in and pecks the matron on the cheek. 'You know you're the best, right?'

'Kiddo, don't you know it. But...' The abject horror on Max's face must have been evident. 'Oh, stop, nothin' bad. _But_ , you two need to take care of each other. And as strong as she is, Chloe is so fragile.' She stares at her daughter, a mixture of concern and love. 'No, not fragile. Brittle. She's stone. She picks her spot and stays there. But when something comes at her from the wrong angle, she breaks.'

'Or she breaks it.'

'She's broken a lot of things.'

'Heh, yes she has.' Max tries to project "earnest", but isn't quite sure what face that is. 'Joyce, you know how much your daughter _used_ to mean to me. Double that. Triple it. _That's_ where I'm at now. And I _know_ she's there too. I don't think I physically could do anything to hurt her.'

'Well, that's a relief. Though you got some intensity I hadn't seen before Max. Oh, to be young and in love again.' Joyce looks over at her husband, still staring out the window. 'One out of two ain't bad.'

That word throws Max in a tailspin. _Love? I mean, I love Chloe, sure. But in love? Is- is this chaos we got "true love"? Sounds sappy, but kinda right._

'I'll give you one last piece of advice, then, as unwanted advice can be. Don't forget there world.' The intensity of her voice, quiet but gravely serious, made Max take these words to heart. 'You two are going to going to be focused on each other, a lot and exclusively. For a while at least. But don't forget about the other people that exist outside the Max-and-Chlo world the two of you will build. You don't want to burn the rest of the world down just for each other.'

_AHAHAHAHAHA! Nope! You'll just_ _**drown** the world for each other!_

Gut check. The smile drains as rapidly as the happiness Max was just feeling. _Sure, I didn't burn it down. Just unleashed a category crap-high hurricane on our world. Our home. So we could be together._

'Oh, honey, don't worry.' Joyce mistakes the reasoning behind Max's mood shift. 'I know you girls. I'm not worried about it. Or anything with you two. I know you two will be amazing.'

'Th-thanks Joyce.' The brunette let's Joyce's gaze sooth her. _She's got mom-vision. See all with the right kind of stare._ 'So, anyway, how about breakfast? I know it's not going to be up to your standards but the doctor said to have something light. And if you get sick, call them immediately.' Max retrieves the container of hospital delicacies. Bland oatmeal, assorted fruit. _Oooh, jello! Bleh, lime._

Joyce nudges Chloe awake. 'Come on, Smurfette. Wake up.'

'Blreg-gurg-lurp.'

'Come on honey. Breakfast.'

'Blerkie?'

'Sorry, no bacon.'

'Plerncrks?'

'No pancakes. Oatmeal.' Joyce shifts, trying to shake her daughter to limited success. 'Up. Now.'

Practically rolling onto the floor, Chloe attains uprightness and stretches theatrically. 'This is a terrible way to wake up. This is worse than the Bacon Lie of 2012.'

'That was yesterday, Chlo.'

'Yes. And today there isn't even the promise of bacon bits.' She looks at the spread. 'Oh, jello!'

'It's lime.'

'Rats.'

The meal is quick, and quiet. Partially because of the hour. Partially because Joyce is already a bit talked-out. But partially because David is so distracted. Chloe is the one to break him out of his funk.

'Hey, Earth to Step-space-David... Shoot, should have thought this one through. Hey David, wassup?'

He's pensive. Still has a thousand-yard-stare look. 'I don't know. Somethings... off.'

'Wow, very descriptive.'

His funk breaks. 'Yeah, I know. But there's something going on I can't put my finger on yet.'

'Sure it wasn't the little green men?'

_Don't discredit him just yet Chloe. He did manage 90% of the- the Jeffershit stuff._ 'And that's our cue to get some air. And coffee. You're really cranky without caffeine.'

'Feed me Seymore.'

'That is amazingly fitting. Bravo, really.'

'Meanie. Anyway.' She looks between the two adults. 'Parental unit. Step-parental unit. We are off.'

'Don't go too far girls.'

'Actually, Joyce, we're... we're going to go see about volunteering.'

'We are?'

A nod.

'Okay, seems we are. Goodnight.'

'Chlo, it's barely past eight.'

'Then why's the moon out?'

'That's the sun.'

'So that's where vitamins come from...'

'Dork.'

The girls leave the room with one happy woman and one thoughtful man in their wake.

The banter persists throughout the walk to Kate. Max told her counterpart they needed to get the blonde out of her room for the day, at least. But the chit-chat takes a weird turn. Too many people active in the halls. Too many of these people being kids. A few are still sleeping on gurneys and makeshift beds, just outside the room doors. Before they're halfway there, the ambient busy-noise superseeds their conversation, and they continue in relative silence to their destination.

Max, on impulse, stops Chloe just outside the door. A brief but tangible kiss silences the question on the tall girl's lips, repacing it. 'Behave. And your mom and I talked. She thinks I'll be good for you.' The door is opened.

'Wait!' Chloe attempts to voice her questions (plural now) but the response comes much too late, with a petite blonde already walking over from the far side of the room. _Kate, what are you wearing?_ Worn flannel and jeans, a big change from her normal attire. The smile, of course, comes standard.

'Max! Get me out of here! The boredom is crippling.' She hugs Max and turns to the bluenette. 'You must be Chloe!' Another hug, this one a surprise for the tall girl. Kate examens her. 'Hmm. She's not nearly as scary as everyone makes her out to be, Max.'

'Yeah, she's a gangly teddy bear. Just watch the elbows. And the teeth. And the general malaise of punk wafting from her.'

'I think she smells nice.'

'Can't tell. She made me nose-deaf years ago.'

'Wait, your nose could hear?'

Chloe's bewilderment at the situation hits critical mass. 'I've died. I've died and become a wallflower.' Taking charge, she grips Kate at the shoulders, making sure she makes eye contact. 'Okay, so this is Kate Marsh, age 18, approximately one Max in height, home address 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. I may have made some of that up.' She beams down at her before pulling her into a hug. 'I gotta thank you kiddo. You gave my Max friendship and kept her occupied before she made her way back to me. Which means you are now a friend of mine. Sorry, hun. Package deal.'

'No, wait! You can't mean that! I haven't even made a good first impression yet!'

'Aww, that's adorable!' Chloe turns to her girlfriend. 'I'm keeping her in the divorce. You can have the silverware.'

Kate gives it her best to keep up with Chloe in motor mouth mode. 'B-but who gets the fine China?'

'Oh, _and_ sassy? Yes, you _are_ a keeper.'

'eeep'

Max tries and fails to maintain a serious demeanor. 'Dial it back Chloe. You're at an 8. I need you at a 6.'

'Gotcha. So, Katie. Do _you_ know what Max has on the docket for today?'

The girl recovers, mostly. 'Yeah. Blood drive first. Then, um, we can do clean-up crew I think? Mostly we have to wait for Max's dad. He's not far, right?'

'Well, he said he found a motel about an hour out of town. But he was in the car for like 12 hours yesterday, and the emergency personnel have probably only gotten more strict we traffic flow.' She turns to Chloe. 'I forgot last night. Kate says Principle Wells had been by Blackwell. The classrooms are a mess but the new dorms stood up pretty well. They'll be examining them for damage but we might get the okay to pick through our stuff later.'

'Cool. My truck will help. I'll, uh, I'll see if it's needed.' But fifteen minutes later the tall girl is standing in front of a National Guard soldier. 'What do you mean I can't drive?'

Max and Kate are calmly waiting in the chairs, getting swabbed and prepped to give blood. _Ignore the needle, ignore the needle. It won't hurt- OUCH!_ She yelps a little and stares her own needles at the nurse. _She's not even paying attention._ Kate endures without a sound.

As Chloe goes off on the soldier the two of them sit patiently, waiting to finish. 'Um, Max, why isn't Chloe giving blood?'

'Well, Chlo can't. She, uh...'

'I'm a stoner. Can't give blood. Doctors are afraid the THC might work better than their TLC.' She plops down in front of them. 'So, I can't drive. They're going all Big Brother and controlling the traffic flow of the town. Too much screwed up out there, they say.'

_Shoot! Gotta see when we can go over to Blackwell. I desperately need a new change of clothes at least._ 'Can you call my dad again, then? He should be close and I want to make sure he can get to us.'

'Sure. Hang on.' She dials, blank face and anticipating. She goes wide-eyed and laughs. 'Nope, not Max... Yeah. It's Chloe... Great to hear you too Mr. Caulfield... Fine, Ryan... Giving blood... Well, I gotta keep the patients from turning into punkers... You sure? I thought vampires were the ones that use the moon... Ha! Yeah, she's here, wait a minute...' She hands the phone off.

'Dad?'

'Hey honey! I got your message.'

'Yeah, talked to Mom. She said you passed out hard.'

'Long ride, and I stopped to fill in with some more supplies the news said was needed.'

'Dad, you don't have to...'

"It's my hometown, Max. Yeah I do.'

_Yeah you do Dad._

'So where you at? You close?'

'Actually being directed to a parking spot by the hospital now. They have a supply drop-off set aside in an outpatient building or something. I should be walking through the doors soon.'

'Okay. I, uh, I don't know how to get you to us. Just head straight to Joyce's room, we'll meet you there.' She gives the room number and hangs up after exchanged "Love yous".

The warmth of protection only a parent can give settles on Max's shoulders. _He's here. I missed him so much. And Mom. Dog, I hope she can come help soon._

Chloe is staring at Max, presenting an odd demeanor. 'You've missed him a lot, huh?'

Yeah.'

'Me too.'

Max doesn't need to ask what she means. Or rather, who she means.

By nine the three of them are heading back up stairs. The hits kept coming after Max's talk with her father with the official numbers rolling in. Twelve _hundred_ injuries, for a hospital that can deal with only seven hundred beds. About two hundred and fifty still missing as reported by family or friends.

Four hundred and thirty one people confirmed dead.

Warren and Brooke no longer among the missing.

_I killed two more today._

The couple were located overnight, as the search expanded out of the town proper. Max refused to get the details, knowing she couldn't help. Most definitely couldn't help the way she knew was exclusively within her capabilities.

_I let four hundred and thirty one people die for Chloe and me._

The only good number was twenty nine. That's the number of third graders missing on a hiking trip, taken with eight adults in tow. All twenty nine of them, and their chaperones, made it back during the morning, thanks to Red Cross and Guard efforts in locating them.

_Chloe is worth_ _four hundred and thirty one people to me. That's the world I killed._

Max can't handle anything else today. No new pressure, no new loss. Nothing. She needs to get up stairs and hug her father. But...

The big but, as much as she's numbing herself to the knowledge assaulting her, at least the deaths are something she prepared for. Or tried to prepare for. The numbers themselves, the cold hard facts about the friends she let die, those are the nightmares she will have. She knew death. she's seen death a dozen times, more, in person. She's seen her Chloe die over and over. It's her actions and inactions that caused these deaths, but... But not her guilt. Her responsibility to take the onus for them, but not her guilt.

Max doesn't know where this place is coming from, she doesn't know why she feels the pain and sadness but not the recrimination. _Maybe that will come later._ For now, her tears are waiting to fall, unlike Kate's. For now, she thinks about a way to make them count. _Maybe I'm broken._ Chloe keeps staring at her as they make the trek up the stairs _She thinks I'm going to do something drastic. I need to get her away from everyone soon. Talk about how I'm not going to start powering-up again._ She is distracted, barely seeing where she's going. Thoughts circle one another, evasive. There's so much death. But...

_But why is the hospital **really** this big. _ Arcadia Bay has- had only a population of just over seven thousand. _Why do you need enough room for a tenth of the people in town? A little less if you count the whole county. The facilities are much too extravagant too. Top-notch MRI, CAT scanners, EKG, pick your acronym. It's way too much for the Bay._

This final thought leaves Max in a worse mood as she walks into the room. Joyce and her father are chatting and laughing by her bed. Joyce is more focused, both eyes seem to be tracking the conversation. David, standing quietly by his wife, never-the-less hangs on Ryan's every word.

'Yup, the whole bottle. I have no idea, still, why they needed the cat to smell like perfume.'

Chloe chimes in. 'Bait. We needed to lure the clerk away from the front so we could get candy.'

Ryan quickly gets up and sweeps his daughter in a hug. 'My big girl. Er, I mean, my young woman.' He spins a bit, Max's feet leaving the floor. 'Thank Dog you're okay.'

She giggles, transported to age six all over again. After watching "All Dogs Go To Heaven" Max insisted that there obviously a Doggy God, since regular God would be too busy helping all the people and a good doggy needs a lot more attention than that. It's stayed in their vernacular ever since.

'You too Chloe. Wow, you grew up. Love the hair.'

She returns the hug. 'Thanks Ryan.'

'So, I can see why you stole my girl's heart.'

Aghast, she turns to the bed. 'MOM!'

'Wasn't me.'

Max coughs. 'Um, I kinda told my mom last night.'

Wheeling on the younger girl. 'What? No warning?'

'Sorry...'

Kate, still out of place, finds the strength to chime in. 'What's going on?'

_I am an idiot! I don't even know if this is going to be cool! Her religion has a whole set of rules about this stuff._ 'Um, well. Chloe and I are...' The hesitation has Chloe step over, searching for a hand to offer support. 'We're a couple. We're dating.'

'Yup, Katie. Snogging and the whole bit.'

A smack to the shoulder. 'not helping.'

Kate stands there, working through all the information. Everyone else grows still, realizing how touchy a subject like this can be.

The petite blonde finds her voice. 'Well, Max, I can't say I'm not upset.' A sharp breath from Chloe. 'I mean, all the misery of the last week and you keep quiet about the best news you have. Totally not fair.'

'R-really?' The breath Max didn't know she was holding escapes, deflating the stillness. She reaches out for her friend.

'Of course really.' Kate embraces her. 'You're a good person. Doesn't matter what you are, just who. We... we're sisters.'

Chloe mouths words to Max. _Told you she a keeper._ The brunette can't agree more.

'Yeah we are.' _Stupid tears. Stupid worry._ 'You don't know what this means, Kate. I almost expected, I don't know... You to be all "Get thee behind me" or something.'

Kate looks her dead in the eyes, not six inches away. 'I'm serious Max. You've shown me nothing but love and understanding. You saved me. I don't care what any book says, God couldn't put someone there last Tuesday unless He loved us both. Anyone who doesn't understand that can go tell it to the birds.' New hands wrap them both up, holding them together. _Chloe._

Joyce dabs at her eyes with her blanket. Ryan finally understand what's happening, connecting the dots about who this new person is. But David. David smacks his temple and exclaims. 'The birds!'

A chorus of questions, mostly _What?_

'What's been bothering me. All day, out the window, the birds have been flying inland.'

'So, David?'

'So why are the seagulls going inland? I could have sworn I saw the herons leave too.' He lurches into motion. 'I need to see the Bay.'

The teenagers follow, trying to keep up with David in full detective mode as he circumnavigates the hospital searching for a westward window. When they do find him, he's looking blankly at the horizon.

'...look...'

Max doesn't understand. Clear skies, calm waters. _Just like yesterday._ But the photographer in her notices the details. _There's something wrong. What?_ And then it hits her. _Just. Like. Yesterday. The water, the water isn't moving._ Her own gasp leads to a question from Kate.

'What is it?'

'The water... there's no waves. No tides. It's completely still. Look, it's like glass. Even from here we should see whitecaps as the tide changes. Or uneven shading. or at least fuzziness. But it looks like a perfect mirror.'

David lowers the mini binoculars he pulled from somewhere on him. 'It is. I can't see perfectly from here, but it looks completely flat.'

Max's shoulders weigh down. Realization. _No dream this time. I did nothing this time. Why?_ Her girlfriend's arm reaches around her shoulders. Chloe isn't staring outside. No, the look on her face is reserved for Max. It communicates the same thoughts in Max's head. _There's another Storm coming._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and thanks for reading. Just a little update before the next chapter, a few things are potentially going to change. First, I won't necessarily be alternating back and forth like I have for now. Events need to unfold at their own rate and certain things I have planned won't feel appropriate to shoehorn into specific time slots. I try to envision how long a conversation is, or how long it takes to travel, but with a bunch of firm breaks planned in scenes, I have schedules planned. Second, I may dwell in one world much longer than the other, and I will be devoting whole chapters to one. Third, as you may see for the word count, this one clocks in at about 5.5k. This still feels a bit thin for me but we will be progressing into the meat of the story I have planned now. No more set-up, no more "tears" and "breaths" all over the place. The action will begin, though I hope my voice in this story remains the same (if you enjoy it) or gets better (if you aren't there yet).


	7. Magic Mirror

**_* Sunday Morning, a few minutes before and after 9, After the Funeral *_ **

'I can prove it.'

_I have one shot at this. Sorta. If I'm going to convince Victoria the craziest crap ever is happening in front of her I need this to be right._

'Juliet is about to knock, to wake me. You tell her not now, she'll be confused why you're here and tell us to come see something.'

'Do-'

'Max! Wake up!'

Fear and confusion. 'Juliet, not now...' Dawning realization of what is happening.

'Victoria? What are you-? Nevermind. You both have got to come see this!'

'Hang on Juliet, we'll be there in a few.'

'Kay, but get in gear. This is sick.'

Without outside disturbances, the weight settling between the two girls is dense. A feather falling on satin would be deafening. Victoria is struggling to find her voice. _I can't believe I'm doing this._ _But I need to take charge before she starts choking._

'Okay, I know you have a lot of questions and probably a few choice words. First, explanation. Last Monday I- I stopped time and rewound in the bathroom and- and saved C-chloe.' _Keep it together Max._ 'We solved the whole Jeffershit case with my powers. But everything went wrong. Peiple got hurt. Chloe died, a few times. Jefferson killed her. And-and you. And he had m-me. In the... the Room.' _Max! Ke_ _ep. It. Together._ 'And I even fixed that. But. A storm came. Wiped out the town on Friday. I- I had to make a choice.'

Victoria is enraptured by Max. A tentative hand reaches out, only to pull back. Her whole demeanour says fear except that hand, and her eyes. Her hand shows bravery, Victoria Chase isn't ready to stop. Her eyes show wonder, and a desire to believe.

'I had dreams. starting Monday. We knew. Chloe and I. We knew the Storm was coming. But we thought we could stop it if we found Rachel. And stopped- stopped the Dark Room. But. But that didn't- Chloe had to-' Her voice breaks. She can't continue. Max covers her face. She can't be seen. Hide. Find shelter. But she can't hide from the fear. Her shelter from grief was buried two days prior

The embrace of warm arms startles her. In panic, she flails. But the grip only tightens. Leaning into Victoria, Max heard her speak in husky tones.

'Max. This can't be real. I can't believe it. My head won't. But you believe it. I... understand what you're saying. Just tell me. How? How can this be true?'

'I don't know.'

'How could you have time power?'

'I don't know!'

Victoria stops, not wanting to upset her more. Whether because she thinks Max crazy or the implied danger upsetting a time traveler, neither knows.

The pause deepens.

_Come on Vicky._

Still silent.

_Really?_

'That's it?'

It's Victoria's turn to jump. 'What am I supposed to say?'

'I don't know! "Max, I'm having you committed". "Prove it". "I too am a Time Lord". Just say something so I know if I'm letting this timeline exist!'

The incredulous look on Victoria's face says enough. 'You really believe. Fine. Convince me.'

_How?_

'Okay, let's try... Write down a completely random list of things. Facts, numbers, quotes, I don't care. Don't even tell me how many. Do it wherever. Just make sure I cannot possibly see.'

Hesitating, she grabs a notebook off the desk. 'Wait, leave a page.' She heads into the hall, and Max hears Victoria's own door open and close. Several minutes later, she enters back in, gripping the notebook tightly.

'Okay, show me.'

The blonde nearly tears the book in half. 'Wait, why?'

'Because this is the first time line.' Like that makes complete sense.

Reluctantly, Victoria hands it over. Max eyes the list, smirking. _Vicky really is clever._ She reads the final item and eyes the other girl. 'Really?' The blush is like fire. Max hands the book back. 'Okay.'

Max re-enters her room, leaving a gaping mouth and mass of confusion and anger in her wake. Raising her hand, well aware of the consequences of what is about to happen, she rewinds.

To the moment just after Victoria leaves.

_Okay, time to write._

Instead of rewriting the list, Max gets creative.

Furiously, she scribbles down her answers, like a half-completed test just before the bell rings. With thirty seconds to spare, she stands in front of Victoria's door, already presenting her work.

The other girl nearly walks into her. Mutely, she grabs the papers from Max, reading them over.

_1 - ...our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation_

_2 - Pi is 3.14159, not 157 (thank warren)_

_3 - close but i dont think indigo should be in the rainbow_

_4 - no,_ _you go fuck yourselfie_

_5 - Brittany 4 life_

_6 - im gay why would i care if your bi?_

All the color drains from Victoria's face. She backs into the room, sitting on her bed. Max enters, closing the door behind her.

Barely keeping a straight face, Max prompts. 'So?'

Victoria's mouth opens and closes, but no sound emerges. _She looks like a goldfish. Maybe a prod..._

'Vicky Chase, speechless.'

_That_ causes a response. Narrowing eyes and the start of a smile. 'Your grammar is atrocious.'

'I like you better speechless.'

The words start flowing.

'I can't believe this.'

'I know.'

'But it's true.'

'Yup.'

'You can control time.'

'...sorta.'

Eyes snap up. 'Sorta?'

'I can go backwards. Only a few minutes at a time. I can even bring very small objects and change my location. Slightly.'

'Uh. Okay? But what about..?'

'...the bathroom. Right. I can go through pictures. One's I've taken. Or one's I'm in. Just my consciousness, and only until I change the timeline.' Max scratches one arm, crossing the other. 'I, uh, also don't get to remember what happens in between those times as well.' _Why do I feel like apologizing?_

'That is... bullshit.' Victoria laughs. 'I mean, the whole thing is bullshit. But arbitrary rules? You can only use a picture?' She mutters, frowning. 'Then again, time control is utter bullshit too.'

'Yeah, but true. I got powers. I used them. I broke stuff.'

'Wait! What about now?' Real terror flows off the blonde.

'I, uh, I have a picture to come back to. I took one of Kate this morning. I can use it to travel back and do none of this if I need to.'

'Seriously Max, if this crap is as dangerous as you makes it out to be, you should have never told me in the first place.'

Max knows that. It doesn't stop her, just like it didn't stop her earlier. _She right, though. Why tell her? And Vicky, of all people._

'I...'

'If you thought this through you would have never endangered the lives of those around you...'

_How do I explain?_

'I mean, come on. I know you are smarter than that. Really, what could be so important that...'

'...I need you.'

Victoria shuts up.

'In the other time line, we became... not friends. But we had each other's respect. I learned a lot about you. Your fears. Insecurities. I saw your work. I understood your discipline and your skill. You listened to me. When I warned you, even though you didn't want or need to believe me, you listened. Because you respected me. And I respected you.' The world blurs. 'And here, in this world, instead of me reaching for you, you came to me. You- you tried to help.' A hiccup escapes. Max tries to continue. 'You came and tried so hard to be who you wanted to be in the other time. I- I didn't have to break through to you. You let me in.'

Victoria has a hand over her mouth, flushing. There is a slight tremble.

'Victoria, I saved... everyone. Except the one person who matters most. Chlo is d-dead. I don't want to... replace her. I can't. _You_ can't. But. _I need someone_. I need to tell someone this. All of it. A friend.'

There is difficulty getting out the next few words.

'I can't carry this on my own any more.'

Inhale.

'It's only been two days for me.'

Deeper.

'But I'm coming apart.'

The words are barely leaving her lips.

'I'm fine one minute. And I break apart the next. I always know I can change it. I can go back. And save her.'

'And kill everyone.'

_Good. You said it aloud._

'I...'

_Now tell her the rest._

'I can take this all back. The burden. I can take this away from you.'

_Almost there._

'You'll never know. Ever. You have the choice.'

_But..._

'But...'

_BUT... Just say it_!

'But I need you. I need someone. It can be someone else. Warren will believe me. Kate could... could do it. But I need someone who can stop me.'

'In case I _do_ try to change all this.'

_You got her!_

_Stop._

_Don't be rude. Again. You backed her into a corner. SHE'S YOURS!_

_Stop it._

_Expertly done. She can't say no! You shift the blame if you "relapse" to Victoria. "I couldn't stop myself, I needed **Vicky** to tell me no". Perfect. If Vicky backs out, you could be with Chloe by lunch._

_I SAID STOP IT!_

And all the voices stop.

Victoria stares.

'Max, I don't know how to respond to that.'

_No one really should._

'But I'll stay. I'll commit to this timeline.'

_What? Really?_

In her excitement, she almost misses the fingers the blonde is holding up. 'Wait, before anything else. Three rules. First, you take selfies at least twice a day. You need points to go back to.' She smiles, a bit of teeth showing. 'Shouldn't be too out of character for you.'

'Second.' The middle finger joins the index. 'The first indication anything, and I mean _anything_ , like the storm you experienced, you stop all this. You come back and... and erase me. This me, this world.' Victoria cracks half way through. 'I don't know how it feels. I don't want to not know this. This is... big. I don't even know how you can trust anyone let alone _me_ with this.' A chuckle, the stress starting to get to her. 'I'm the biggest gossip _I_ know. And a week ago we were at each other's throats.'

Max needs to interrupt this tirade. 'Stop it. That was then. This _now_ is now. Between just what you've done for me and Kate, the effort. I know you can do this. Otherwise I wouldn't...'

'Have shared the secrets of the universe? Fine, no doubt. But the rules still stand.'

'What's number three?'

'You tell me _everything_ that happened to you. Everything. Including my d-death. I really would like that not to happen.'

'Well, the reason for it is in custody now. The asshole should rot for a good long time.'

There is a definite lack of surprise on Victoria's face. 'Yeah, figures it was Jefferson. God, I was throwing myself at a serial killer.' A huff. 'But we're getting side tracked. Start, now.' The bitchy stance, hands on hips and death-stare, is not nearly as effective as it once was.

Max smiles, glad to see the attitude returning. _Don't change too much, Vicky._ 'Okay, but let's do it while we walk. Juliet has probably texted me half a dozen times by now.'

True to her prediction, her phone has a handful of texts and missed calls. _Juliet wants me at the beach? What, are they partying or something?_ Meeting in the hall and heading to Victoria's car, Max starts the tale. 'Do you remember the "Daguerre Process" in class? Well, I woke up from the first Storm dream then...'

The drive to the beach is quick, barely enough time to get through Monday's events. Max explains the snowfall as they park. 'It was, like, eighty degrees. And that was just the first time nature got all fucked up. Solar eclipse, double moon. The whales, oh Dog it was horrible. The poor animals beached themselves.' Exiting, they walk over to where a few classmates we watching the ocean, Warren, Dana, and Juliet included. 'The birds too started acting all weird...' As the panorama starts to filter into the sight of the two girls, their movements slow. Max's words die on her lips.

Warren, noticing the pair, walks over and stands stoic next to them. He soaks in the view, though by every indication it isn't his first time. 'Yeah, I've been staring at it for about an hour. Can't get used to it.'

Victoria finds when voice first. 'When?' She is intent on the horizon, like Max, unable to tear her eyes from it. 'How?'

Warren, in unusually numb delivery. 'The police and park rangers were here earlier. Said they were alerted this morning. A few of the fishermen said it started when they came in last night.'

A hand, slender, holds Max's shoulder, turning her and breaking the revelry. She and Victoria share a conversation in a moment. _It wasn't me. This was way before I used my powers again. Something else is happening._ Turning back, Max can still only half-understand the sight.

There's no movement in the Bay. The water is just... stuck. No movement. As if it froze in an instance of calm seas. Not perfectly flat, like a true mirror, it still is creating the same effect. Mild bumps and flows can be seen along the edge, but no whitecaps or waves exist, stilled or otherwise. And, as far as an eye can see, no clouds reflect down on the ocean. The sky is a clear blue you rarely see outside the driest deserts.

Max moves forward, followed by the other two, and strides directly for the closest edge of the water. Warren pipes in. 'Some scientists came by, took some samples and left. The cops freaked a bit, told everyone to stay out of the water, or whatever it is, until they can set up barriers. Though how do you barrier the ocean?' He shakes his head, continuing. 'The "water" isn't really that. Sure, looks and smells like it. You can still see the little particles in it. But it's something like, like gritty jello? It's sticky, and holds form. But it crumbles apart if you poke it. Offers no resistance.'

But Max isn't looking at the closer shore. Something about the view catches her eye. 'Victoria, something's... off. More than just the water not... moving.'

A click, familiar to her ears, answers Max. Turning, she sees the blonde holding her expensive digital camera, peering intently at it. Stepping over, they both study the image, using their seaview for comparison.

Victoria gets it first. 'It bowls. It's concave. See, look at the lensing effect of the sun. It's subtle, really really subtle, but you can see elongation going on.' She looks around, placing herself, and starts hustling herself back to her car. 'I need height. We need to go to the lighthouse.'

_No..._

Not sure if she says it aloud, Victoria turns around, an apology on her face. 'I know, Max. Stay, if you need. But without an aerial view, I can't be sure.'

'N-no, I'm coming.'

'Me too.' Warren butts in.

Victoria does not look pleased. _Come on Vicky, he's the smartest person here._ 'Fine, but you get back seat.'

Half an hour, and the three are at the bench, just outside the lighthouse. _Can't be here long. Storm. Tragedy. Death, Chloe. Just, a few minutes. Keep it together. Focus on Warren and Victoria. Be clinical, be the observer._

The others are already pouring over the pictures on the digital camera. 'I can't be too accurate. My scale is off, I'd really need to try and line it up on a map. But it looks like the bottom might be two, maybe three miles out? If that's true, that makes this... depression... in the ocean like, halfway to the horizon from up here? Six miles across? That's... that's unfathomable. That's just nuts.'

'And look, Warren. There's a circle. Or a spiraling effect going on. There's slight lines of... of disturbance, or a flow or something. Counterclockwise from edge to in.' She zooms the photo. 'And something..? A bulge? It's far, right edge.' She waves over at the brunette, trying to get attention. With no response, she walks over. 'Max!' Jump scare. 'Max, look at this.' Waving the screen in front of unseeing eyes.

It takes Max a moment to focus. _No! I didn't do this. I didn't do... What?_ The photo starts to make sense. She can see the spiraling effect in the "water", alternating shades of dark and light blue. It's difficult to see, especially at their angle, but yes. The thickest of the darker bands has a bump in it, a definite protrusion, about a tenth of the way through the spiral inward. Max recognizes it.

'I know that symbol.'

'What? What do you mean?'

'I visualize that exact shape when I...'

'Wait, really?'

'Yes. And it wasn't something thought up. I mean, I think of it. But it wasn't something I thought up on my own. If that makes sense.'

'Like- like something that was _provided_ for you?'

'Exactly.'

Warren, his head rapidly bouncing back and forth between the two, literally steps into the discussion. 'What the hell are the two of you two talking about?'

The girls share a look.

'I want to tell him.'

_I need to, really._

'You sure, Max?'

_Yes I am._

'He believed me before.'

'Okay.' Victoria turns to the shorter boy, giving him the most sincere look she can muster. 'Warren, you know me right?'

'Right...'

'You know Max and I have never been on good terms.'

'Right...'

'So believe the next thing I say. What Max is about to tell you, tell us, is one hundred percent true. I trust her. I trust everything about to come out her mouth as the absolute truth. Don't interrupt, don't ask questions until the end.' She shivers, nothing to do with the chill in the air. 'This is life-and-death, end-of-world shit. Believe her and she'll prove it.'

The gravity pulls Warren down, sitting him on the bench. He looks expectantly at his friend.

Max pauses in her pacing, turning to Warren. Standing straight, her voice is meek at first, gaining strength as the first sentence wraps up. 'So, it began last Monday. I woke up in photography from a nightmare about a Storm. In fact, I was standing right here in the dream. Anyway...'

For hours she talks there, occasionally walking a bit, or leaning on the park map. After the first ninety minutes, she just sits on the ground in front of the bench, alternating between the two expectant faces completely contained in her experiences.

Some events are glossed over. The pool, the morning kiss... For obvious reasons, Max doesn't go into details. Others, like the roof with Kate, finding Rachel. Or the alternate timeline with William, or the last time in American Rust... Max becomes robotic. No inflection. The basic facts. Three times she has to stop herself. To recover and recharge the emotional wrangling she's enduring. Respectfully, her audience remains silent. And, after two hundred and fifty three difficult minutes, she finishes.

'I, I go back. With the butterfly photo. Right here, she tells me not to forget her. I. I... I wanted to tell her I love her. I wanted to tear up the photo a-and stay there. But she couldn't let me do that. She couldn't let _me_ stay. So I go back to the bathroom. And I do nothing and sit there and cry and hear... the gun.' Her face is wet, her spine is rigid, her voice is hoarse. 'And I wake up back at the f-funeral. And that's it.' Stone still she waits.

'Warren?'

Yes, Max?'

'do you believe me?'

'I don't... wait. Just, just wait.' He stands, moving a few feet away. Turning, he avoids eye contact, staring at the still waters below. 'I want to say no. My mind says no. Science says no. Even including _that_.' He gestures to the unnatural sight below. 'That doesn't convince me. But two things are telling me otherwise. First is you. Your details. No one is that good of an actress. Especially not you, Max. You wear your emotions on your face. You can't lie. Not well, at least, and not that whole story. Not that much information at once. And second.' He points at Victoria. 'Your biggest enemy. The one person I know would never vouch for you in her life. Who would certainly _never_ even entertain a lie like this, she tells me it's true.' He barks out a laugh, easing the tension. 'You're more likely to get every American to agree on the next Idol in the first round.' He finally looks at her squarely. 'Yes, I believe you.'

Max envelopes him in a hug. 'thank you.'

And Max colapses in his arms.

_'Max?'_

_'Victoria, I think she passed out.'_

_'Max!'_

_'She's breathing...'_

...

Max stands atop the cliff face. The day is late, the sky dark. Cloudless, late afternoon. The sun has not yet set. But it doesn't seem to fully reach the shore. The sky is... peculiar.

_It's bluish. Not blue, not an evening red. A bruised blue. A deeper blue. The trees look blue. My skin! I look like I have frostbite._

She looks around, taking in her surroundings. A pull of something, a pressure at her back, leans her towards the cliff edge. At her feet, a few pebbles roll _up_ to the edge of the cliff, tumbling over it. Flashing lights illuminate the beach and town below. A siren is the only noise she hears, very distant but distinct.

_Not a Storm. What is..?_

The waters of the Bay draw her eyes. In the middle of the depression, a hole appeared. Near it's center the pimple in the water, which had been on it's edge only a moment ago, is about to complete its journey and plunge into the depth below. As she watches, it finally reaches the breaking point, and plummets in an instance.

_It's a timer. A countdo-_

A shockwave tumbles her, fracturing the train of thought. A shockwave _inward_. Before she can stand, another wave shakes her back down. The pulses hit with only a few seconds between, then a few moments. There is a crack, as the whole world seems to break. Abruptly, Max feels her stomach in her mouth. Freefalling, the cliff drops away, the lighthouse tumbling after her...

_Snap._

She's on her back. Something soft under her head. A pair of eyes directly in front of her. _Green? Chloe has blue eyes, not green._

'Max? You awake?' The full features of the blonde form around her eyes. Six inches away. Then twelve. Then the sky comes into view, framing Victoria's face. _There's the blue._ Max tries to sit but a dizziness informs her of the terribleness of that idea.

Warren enters frame. 'Max are you okay?'

'yes...'

The blonde pushes forward. 'You saw something.'

'yes...'

Terror shapes the next words from her lips. 'What is it? What's coming?'

Max replies in kind.

'...the end...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go. I couldn't in good conscious keep this story as a pure "What came after" story. I never intended to make this just a closure fanfic. Those elements are there, and are going to be progressing forward. I hope by the end I find both Max's at a good enough state that they can face the problem I'm building for them. But a defining characteristic of the original game is Max overcoming messed-up stuff, little and big things alike. You just decide how to lead Max through the fires, I'm just expanding my own blaze.
> 
> I also included a bit of hints at Chasefield. I never really intended to bring Max and Victoria together, definitely not so quickly. I've read a few well-done stories where the author does integrate the two characters into a couple, and it might be in the cards. We'll see. For now I don't have enough written in their characters to make that decision.
> 
> Back on track, we'll be leaving the Funeral world for the Storm world (it's how I named them; very imaginative, I know) to catch up on Chloe and the other Max.


	8. On The Wall

**_* Sunday, Quarter to Noon, After the Storm *_ **

_I can't even see the water from here._

The barriers, installed by the police or Guard or whoever, keep the trio of girls hundreds of yards back. Multiple organisations, ranging from the EPA to NSA, seem to all have representatives present. A group of individuals in hazmat suits are the focus of all attention, with two windbreaker-clad FBI agents directing the circus that was once a beach.

'This is hella lame. All the government types are here.' A long drag of a cigarette.

_I hope she stops. It's not the smell or anything. But her health is gonna take a dive._

Kate skirts back from the crowded perimeter. 'I guess we'll just go back.'

Flicking the stub, Chloe shakes her head. 'Nope, Wild Kate. Where there's a will, there's a way. And I am very willful.'

Kate catches Max's attention, mouthing _Wild Kate_ in confusion.

Chuckling, Max guesses. 'Shakespeare, I think. Don't worry, you'll get used to it. She thinks she's clever by constantly inventing nicknames.'

A harrumph issues from the bluenette. 'I am clever.'

'Sure.'

'Like the Doctor.'

'Don't push it.'

'Katie, Max is being naughty.' She turns to Max, eyeing her with mischievous intent. 'You don't want to be here when I punish her.'

_She's incurable._ 'Chlo, not in front of the children.' Her blush refuses to dissipate, in spite of the cool air coming from the ocean. 'What if we go somewhere else? The... water stuff looked pretty big.'

Kate chimes in. 'What about the lighthouse? You know, get a lay of the land. You can get some aerial shots of... whatever this is, Max.'

'Uh, sorry Kate. Max has problem with heights...'

_Not heights, just that spot. But Kate is right._ 'It's all good. I'll be fine.'

'You sure?'

_Chloe is worrying too much about me. I mean, I get it. But we need to talk about weirdness-related stuff soon._ 'Yeah, I'm really sure.'

The trio head towards the lighthouse. The walk is full of chatter. Chloe regales Kate with stories of Max as a gawky preteen while the blonde talks about her sisters. Max, though quiet, basks in her two favorite people getting along so well.

'So we decided to steal my mother's jewelry. I mean, we needed some booty to bury.'

'That's terrible Chloe!'

'Naw, it's fine. My mom caught us before we left the house.' Chloe shakes her head. 'Though that time Dad took away our swords because someone thought she could force Mom to walk a plank.'

'Max? Really!'

_Of course she leaves out..._ 'I seem to remember a certain captain holding the cat ransom until we got them back.'

'Um, I don't recall you complaining while you were petting him.' The taller girl punctuates her point with a stuck-out tongue. _Dammit Chlo, quit acting bratty-cute._

'You two really were sisters growing up, huh?' Kate slows her walk, starring at the ground they tread. She has an inward smile, looking up at Max. 'My sisters and I were never like that. We love each other, and we shared things growing up. Mostly art and music. But we never got in trouble together.' A chuckle, again inward. 'I haven't been in trouble in years. Never did anything worth getting in trouble for.'

These words, along with her growing understanding of who Kate is, seem to have caused a computational problem in Chloe's thoughts. 'But, why? Didn't you have any fun?'

_Of course you equate trouble and fun._

'Sure we had fun. My parents are just... strict. Not bad, but rules are meant to be followed. We also always had much to do. I volunteered, after school programs. I was always busy with one responsibility or another.'

Chloe is aghast. 'Like, not even staying up past bedtime?'

Kate looks confused. 'Why would I stay up too late? A child needs all the sleep she can get.'

Staring at Max for help. 'Can you explain it to her?'

'Nope, you went down this rabbit hole all on your own, Malice.'

'Malice. That's a good one. You're learning.' Chloe leans her head towards Kate, explaining the finer details about why defiance and anarchy equal enjoyment.

_I hate to say it but this_ _ **is** her operating at a 6. Maybe a 5._ Max marvels at the interactions between her best friend and her girlfriend. _I hoped they would get along. I expected them to get along. But still... They are such polar opposites._ The blonde laughs at something the bluenette says. _As long as Chlo doesn't corrupt her too much._

The precipice comes into view, the simple lighthouse looming over. Conversation and laughter die before they reach the cloud edge. None of them want till approach first, tho get that clear view of the waters below. _Come on Max! Fish or get off the pot._ She approaches, hesitantly. _I need to see..._

She can't explain. Her breath holds until the exhalation forces her to take a step back. Her companions join their hands with hers, facing the same reality laid out before them. _But this can't be real..._

The Bay, from shore to near horizon, is still and even. A near-uniform neutral blue is broken by a lighter band of thin rings. _No, a spiral. Going clockwise. And it's not perfect circles. They are jagged, like a scribble. I've seen this before. Where?_

_My power!_

_No! I did nothing!_

_Wait, it's backwards. The opposite of my rewind._

_Can someone fast forward?_

Details begin to filter into Max's thoughts. A mild depression, almost invisible save for it's effect on the sunlight, sits along the near end of the spiral. A larger... protrusion is at its exact center. Like an un-popped bubble.

Max drops Chloe's hand to reach for her camera. Kate won't let go, in fact now gripping with both hands. Still, Max can luckily pull out Williams's old Polaroid and raises to her eye.

She depresses the button.

The sound of the shutter.

Red light, red skies, red water. The camera looks stained, the hand holding it flushed. One breath to next, a different world.

A small whimper breaks the oppressive silence. 'max...'

Get left hand still clutches a pair of trembling counterparts. _I brought Kate? Fuhhh..._

'max, what is this? what is going on..?'

_Sorry, Kate. Gotta ignore you._ Max looks down to the waters, absorbing everything she can. Unconsciously, she narrates aloud what she sees.

'The dimple in the water looks deeper, it's almost at the middle. The, uh, pimple I guess, it's big. Like four stories big. And pointy. Like a reverse funnel.'

'max, you're scaring me.'

'Sorry Kate. I need to look at this. I need to get all the info I can.' Her head tilts. 'I don't hear anything. Except for a siren, probably from town.'

'Max! Explain now! What the heck is going on!' She finally grabs Max's eyes from the tableau below. 'What is this and why are you so calm?'

The cold detachment is cracked. Fear grips tightly but quietly along her spine. 'It's the future, Kate.'

Shock, disbelief, anger. 'Not funny, Max.'

'This _is_ the future. This is my vision. Eh, our vision. This will come to pass if we do nothing. Or if we do something. I don't know. It's never clear.'

'WHAT? A vision? And- and you talk like this has happened before...' Gears shift and click. A puzzle Kate didn't understand she was solving is complete. 'You saw the storm coming... You knew... Did you know when?' A darker thought appears. ' _If we do something_? Did you-'

The dimple reaches the center. The entire edifice shudders and collapses, top to bottom. When the last drop meets the surface a concussive force bursts outward, knocking the two girls down. Still holding hands, Max attempts to pull Kate to her feet. But a second wave of pressure, then third, then fourth...

Lighting dims.

Hands part.

The brightness of the afternoon sun burns Max's eyes. Clear blue, left to right, darker to brighter. A splash a vibrant blue is just visible in the far left. It shifts, revealing a familiar face of worry. A smile removes some of the gravity, but not all.

'Max! You're awake. And so is Katie.' The face comes closer, nearly brushing noses. 'Was it a..?'

'Yes.'

Two heartbeats. 'Did Kate..?'

'Yes, she saw it too.'

The smile departs. 'What are we-?'

'Max.'

A quiet but firm voice, aligned with her head.

'What was that?' Sounds of movement. Another person appears. Worry again. And an alien emotion mixed in. Anger.

'Kate. I don't-'

'Stop. Now. I'm naive, I know. I'm not dumb.' Crossing arms and frown. 'Don't p-piss me off. No lies.'

_Cursing? She has every right to be angry. I need to... tell her. To confess. I hope she can forgive._

'I can control time.'

'Max...'

'No, Chloe. No. I'm not going to lie to her. I've hurt enough people.' Max sits up and stares deep into the blondes eyes. 'I'm going to tell you everything. It's going to hurt, Katie. I'm not proud of all. Some of it...' _Be honest. You need to be fully honest._ 'Some of it you'll hate me for. _I_ hate myself because of some of the things I did. I made some terrible choices.'

Shaking of a head. 'Max, I can't hate you-'

'Yes. You can.'

_Start_ _big. Start right here._

'Friday afternoon, I had to make a decision. Let the Storm happen. Let those people die. Or. Let someone else die for them...'

'How can you make a difference like that? That's insane.'

'That was my week. I said, I can control time. I'm serious. I could- I could have gone back and stopped everything from happening last week. I think.' Standard defensive Max body language. Arms crossing, looking down and to the right. 'I can only be pretty sure but... I had the opportunity to change what happened on Monday.'

'What happened on Monday? Or, what didn't happen?'

'Chloe... Chloe...'

'I die.' Both have forgotten her there. 'I die in the bathroom. Nathan shoots me. We don't know if he gets caught. Or if Jeffershit gets caught. Or anything else that would happen. Only that the Storm _probably_ would not come.'

Kate lasers back in to the brunette. 'How?'

'Like I keep saying, I can go back in time. I could go back and not push the fire alarm. I can go and watch Nathan... kill her again.' _Tears again. I'm so tired of crying this last week. Why can't I be stronger?_

'Wait, let me get this right.' Pensive and quiet, Kate tries to work through this bombshell. 'You- you had to either let Chloe die, or the town. And you chose Chloe?'

A rhetorical question, but Max is compelled to answer. 'yes.'

Fury finally paints the petite girl's expression. 'Okay. Chloe, I don't want to offend you. You're pretty amazing and I understand why Max loves you. But how could you let her kill all those people for you?'

'She didn't-'

A click. A snap. _How dare she question me._ Max doesn't know why the next words come out, but they need to.

'BECAUSE I'M HUMAN! BECAUSE EITHER WAY I'M A MURDERER! WOULD YOU LET ME DIE? OR YOUR SISTERS?' Max no longer is speaking to her two companions. 'THAT WHAT YOU WANT? I WOULD HAVE DIED FOR HER!' A double salute to the void. 'FUCK YOU! IT'S NOT FAIR! I CONTROL MY OWN FATE!' Tumbling accusations and pent up rage. 'NOT EVERYONE'S! WHY AM I THE ONE RESPONSIBLE!' She doesn't know if she has ever yelled so loud. Her voice already hurts and a snap is felt in her throat. The burn doesn't prevent her tirade. 'I was just a normal girl. I was fine. You put all this on me. _You_ forced terrible choices.' The tears can't abate. 'Why?' Max tastes copper and a slight sweetness. 'why make me choose between love and...'

She turns to Kate. So much frustration, anger, aimed at her powers. Her situation. All-powerful yet helpless.

'i wasn't strong enough to let her die. i'm not... i'm not sorry she lives. i am sorry others are dead, but not this.'

'Abraham and Isaac.'

'what?'

'God spoke to His prophet Abraham, and commanded him to bring his son for sacrifice at the alter. Abraham was about to do so, but God stopped him, seeing the devotion in his heart.'

'this was not god. something else wanted her blood on the alter. i won't. i can't. not on blind faith. not without reason.'

'not chloe.'

Most of the anger had left Kate's demeanor. 'Max, I don't know how to- I don't know if I even believe you.'

'...i saw you jump on tuesday...'

'W-what?'

'i saw you jump. and i stopped it. i was off campus and got back too late to stop you. so i rewound and froze time. that's how i made it up to the roof.'

'Then- then why didn't you just keep me from... going up there?'

Rueful chuckle. 'i'm not all powerful. i have my limits. that's why my nose was bleeding. a warning when i push too hard.'

'Max, I don't know.' Trepidation. 'If what you're saying is true, then. Then you let four _hundred_ people drown. You let Warren...'

Chloe once again steps in. 'Die. Yeah.' A hand through blue locks. 'I... I wanted her to let me die. Told her to do it. But you don't know the whole story. I asked her to... to basically murder me.' A cigarette comes out. Flick. 'The last five years I've been worthless. I've hurt everyone who loves me over and over. I've been hurt over and over. I wanted it to end.' She stares at her love, a small smirk devoid of any laughter on her face. 'I think I might still kill myself if it brought those people back.'

_Oh, Chloe. No..._

The taller girl pushes on. 'But it won't. I can't. That was a one time event. I hope. Now all I can do is be good enough and try to make my life worth something. So that people didn't die in vein.'

A hug between them. Forgiveness and support. Neither blames the other for choices made. They have understanding. And purpose.

Kate wraps them both up, though she is unable to embrace them much further than shoulders. 'I don't know what I would have done. I don't... I don't think I could have let my sisters die. But Max, this is still... messed up. People are dead. It's not your fault, I believe. But it is because of you. We need to do something.'

Max feels her heart break. 'we?'

The nod is felt, not seen. 'Yes, we. _We_ need to help people. When you used your p-powers to save me, I became just as responsible.'

_Back up._ 'no. other people put you up there. you were attacked, hurt. it's not your fault that-'

A shake of a head, this time. 'No. I may have been driven to that state but... I climbed those stairs. I _decided_ to... do that. You saved me from my demons. From myself. From something happening that was closer then even I thought.' She backs up and sets herself steely. 'So, let's do this. I think. Tell me what happened.'

Chloe and Max begin, trading off with a fluidity that only comes from years of friendship. Every few minutes one of the girls glances past the cliff face to the water below. Maybe to find a change. Maybe to wake up.

Kate shares as many sighs, sobs, and hugs as she can with the couple. _Talk about emotional roller-coaster._ At the end of the tale, the blonde also voices the concern lying between them. 'You haven't used your powers since Friday, right? What's going on with the Bay?'

Shared looks have shared questions. 'We don't know.'

Kate's worry overwhelms her. A hiccup issues. 'B-but if you didn't use powers, i-if you don't know... What can we do? We can help people. But not something like this. Not what we saw...'

_Honestly, she's handling it better than I thought. Even the whole.._.

_You can say it._

_I did NOT murder those people._

_Suuure..._

_I was told to murder Chloe._

_You were asked to save people._

_Then why didn't it matter?_

_Chloe died in American Rust. The Storm still came. Chloe died in-in that bed. The whales still beached themselves. The Storm still came. I **saw it** before any of this happened. How could an event from a week ago produce the same **exact** results as an alternate timeline from five years ago? The only way it doesn't happen is one death on a Monday? Why? It makes no sense._

_Yeah, but you-_

_No. No buts. **You** , me, whatever, this voice is the only voice not seeing the reasoning here. Butterfly Effect my ass. There is something **making** this Storm. These events are going to happen regardless of what I do._

_You keep blaming something._

_What if it's someone?_

'MAX!'

_Huh?_ 'what?'

Chloe harrumphs. 'I asked about what you saw. And said your name. Four times.'

'Sorry. I was thinking this through. Or rethinking it. Chloe, in... in the William world... the whales still beached themselves. The snow and eclipse and everything still happened...'

The pain in Chloe's voice, either from her lost father or the ordeal Max went through. _Both._ It hurts Max. Kate even reacts. 'Y-yeah.' She turns to the blonde. 'That's w-where Dad didn't get hit. I did. Paralyzed, respirator. M-max h-helped me...'

Silence.

_Silence has been doing a lot of talking._

'i euthanize her.'

Kate looks sick. 'Oh, oh God. Max, that's...'

'i'm terrible. i know.'

'No! That's not-' She clenches her fists, getting heated. 'Max, how many times have you seen Chloe die?'

'i don't know. five?' She looks to the bluenette for confirmation.

'And how many people have you seen die.'

Max has to think hard. _Victoria, Jeffershit. Um, the walk in town there was a few. The diner had like 20?_

'i don't know. dozens. but a few were multiple times, i think.'

'Dear G- what do you mean, multiple times?'

'well, chloe, obviously. the train hit her, like, three times before i got it right. the diner blew up twice. i, uh, couldn't find the sand right away.' Her voice sounds little different from a person recounting an afternoon shopping for shoes. 'and david shot jeffershit twice. i mean, i knew he wasn't _dead_ -dead, i was going to change it anyway. so i got a little extra revenge...'

_Why are they looking at me like that?_

'guys? uh, i mean gals. what's wrong?'

Chloe takes the plunge. 'Max, you're freaking me out. How can you be so calm about it? How are you turning on a dime like this? People died. I died! Right in front of you!' She shakes in place, one arm wrapping herself for protection, the other reaching out.

Confusion. A touch of anger. A spoonful of fear. 'but you're not dead. why wouldn't i be fine?'

'Kate..?'

The third girl pauses the conversation, gathering words. 'Max, you are not acting normal. No that's wrong.' A new approach. 'You are acting too normal. Too okay with all... this.' Hands thrown up in defense. 'I'm not trying to attack you. It's just, you are being so emotionless about all these deaths you witnessed.'

'what are you talking about? I've spent more time crying the last few days than the rest of my life.'

'Yeah, but it's always about Chloe.' Pressing on. 'You get upset, emotional, when it's Chloe being effected. Not your friends. Not family. Not the hundreds of people dead.' She can't stay impartial. Emotion leaks through her stoic facade. 'I knew you care for me. And I know you feel. The horror of the past week is obvious. But you get so... cold. When you talk about it, I don't know... Will we get unstable but emotional Max? Or. Or...'

'Sociopath Max.' Chloe voices the thought neither girl wants true. 'You- Okay, Max. You're... the rest of me. You help keep me sane. I can't do this without you.' Laughter, trying to diffuse the situation. 'We have ample evidence. But you keep... I don't know. Dropping out? You stop being _here_. I can't. I can't deal with all this without you here, fully, with me.'

_How dare they. How can they say that..._

_Are they wrong?_

_Wha..?_

_Are they wrong? You do keep checking out. You are compartmentalizing you grief and guilt. And not in a healthy way._

_No._

_Yup. Listen when you talk. You watched David kill Mark. And rewound to watch him do it again. That's fucked up._

_oh._

_Yup._

_Oh wow._

_That's what I've been saying._

_What's wrong with me?_

_We don't know. Neither do you. But you need to figure it out._

A numbness has overtaken Max. A drunken feeling, fuzzy lips and confusion.

'chlo.'

Arms reach. Contact is made.

'chlo, there's something wrong.'

Tight arms. Fingers soothing through hair.

'I got you Max. I got you and I'm not going anywhere.'

Some grounding is regained. Not all. There is still the... split. The disconnect. But Max sees it. A step forward.

'but we have a problem.'

'Besides your reality check?'

'the storm. the new storm. i didn't do it. i think... i think someone else might have.'


	9. Tower of Babel

**_Author warning: Text contains talk of self harm and suicide. Message at end._ **

**_* Sunday Evening, After the Funeral *_ **

_Warren has gone completely insane._

Max tries to keep this opinion to herself but the difficulty increases with each minute.

'So, since your original consciousness was, subjectively, experiencing the events from your childhood _after_ Point Zero, it ceased to exist within our timeline when you chose to direct us away from PZ.'

His grin shows how obvious the statement is.

The two girls don't get it.

'Wait, what does this have to do with the double moon?'

'Well, everything, but I haven't gotten to that yet.'

'You weren't just talking about the double moon?'

'Nope.'

Victoria turns to Max. 'I'm done. Your turn.'

_Okay, gotta real him back in._

'Warren, does any of this help us with the problem now?'

The deflation is immediate and derailing for his thoughts. 'No. But- but it's facinating. I mean, even though it's only your consciousness we _are_ dealing with time travel. Fuckin' time travel Max!'

'Yes, I know. I was there.'

Warren finally seems to realize the show he's been putting on for the last forty five minutes. 'Oh, yeah. Sorry Max. It's just...'

'Just not every day a bomb like this gets dropped. I get it. No worries.'

'But... But I'm trying to follow the path of your power. There's weird rules to it and I need to know what they are if I'm going to help.'

Scratching her head. Wrinkling brow. 'Okay. What kind of rules?'

Warren pulls out a fresh page of paper, scribbling circles and arrows. His mouth goes a mile a minute. 'Here we have two confirmed events that predate your first dream. You at age thirteen and you tearing up your Everyday Heroes photo. We need to confirm if those events still happened.'

Victoria chimes in. 'Of course they did, they're in the past.'

A held up finger. Warren enters teacher mode. 'Not necessarily. _Our_ timeline is linear. _Max_ does not follow the same rules. If she altered her subjective starting point, that might, big might, have prevented everything she did afterwards. From her point of view.' He stares at the scribbles in front of him, willing them to make sense. 'Which, honestly, would explain why the storm never came.'

The girls share a look.

'Yeah, I know. Here, look at it this way. You're reading a book. In order for you to get to the end of the book, you have to read all of the pages in between. Well, from Max's point of view, she tore out the first few pages of the book. She can never start it. Which means everything that gets written down can't be experience without those first few pages.'

'But Max skipped around.'

'From our point of view. Her book is sequential. Everything in order how she experienced it. It doesn't have to make sense from our perspective.' He seems pleased by his imagery. 'So, with the first few pages missing, a new story was written. And since there's no lead in for Max to travel to see William or to destroy her photo, those events should not have taken place.'

'I feel like a big but is about to show up.'

'Yeah, and it's a lot more confusing. If those events still took place, then the whole butterfly event reasoning goes out the window. And I'm more inclined to think option two here is what's going on.'

'Wait, why?'

'Well, Max-' Another page of paper, more furious writing. 'In the big alt reality, with Chloe, eh, hurt. You said the weird was still going on. The whales still beached themselves?' Conformation. 'Yeah, that implies events were progressing the same. Which should be impossible.' Writing, gathering ordered thoughts. 'That world had a completely different history. If the storm was caused by Chloe walking out of that bathroom, that event never existed to be uh, broken by you.'

The train of thoughts coalesce in the brunette's head. 'Which means there is no trigger for the Storm. Which means the Storm and all the week of weird shit can't happen.'

Victoria takes the idea and runs it to conclusion. 'But that's not what happened. Which means... It's not the events that lead to the storm. It's specifically that Nathan... Nathan kills her. In the bathroom last Monday.'

Warren finishes up. 'Which is exactly the opposite of how causality works. A completely different history should have created a completely different end. But it didn't.'

'...I wasn't fighting time...'

Warren looks resigned to the statement. Victoria, who hasn't quite got it yet, voices her confusion. 'Okay, explain.'

'If it was just time that was messed up, it means I screwed up and fixed it all when... in the bathroom. Which means this new shit, the Bay, is someone or something else. But...'

_Yeah, you already suspected this one. Warren just confirmed it._

'...But if the only way to save the Bay was to let _that_ thing happen, regardless, that means something or someone _needed_ it to happen. Which means I'm fighting against another force, here. Or I _am_ the cause for that stuff outside.'

_How about you bank on that last choice? This way the guilt makes sense._

_How about shutting up?_

_Why do you keep arguing with yourself?_

_I'm not argu... Am I?_

Warren breaks that train of thought. 'I'm not sure what's scarier. A malevolent power that wanted Chloe to die in a bathroom or a person screwing with space-time on their own.' A nervous glance. 'I mean without your self disciple, Max.'

'I get it. But, the big but, is still there. How do we figure out if it's me or someone else?'

'Find the pictures.' Victoria's statement only seems self evident after the fact. 'You destroyed two photos. If we can find one intact, it proves everything you did was erased.'

Warren looks impressed. 'Wow, can't believe I didn't think of that.'

'Okay, to my room. that's where the Everyday Heroes photo should be.'

'I'll, uh, stay here.'

'Why?'

'What do you mean, why?' Another connected dot. 'Right, Auto-Max. Boys flat out are _not_ tolerated in the girl's dorm. After all the shit with... last week, Blackwell is full lock-down mode.'

A brief walk up stairs. Before entering her room, though, Max looks to a door just down the hall.

'Should we get Kate?'

'No!' Victoria surprises them both with her enthusiasm. 'I mean, she's going through enough. But I don't think...' _Have_ _I stolen all of Vicky's confidence?_ 'I don't want to involve her. I don't want to get her hurt again.'

'You think we're going to get hurt?'

'Shh, get inside.' The blonde ushers Max through the door, remaining silent until it's firmly closed behind them. 'Yes, we're going to get hurt. There's a good chance one of us is going to die.'

'Vicky, I'd never-'

'I know, but my point stands. You'll go back and try to save us. But you might not be able to. You're not invincible. You might even be the one hurt.'

_Still hurting, too. Not like you don't deserve it._

'Okay Vicky, but-'

_But what? What can we promise her?_

_I'll keep us safe._

_Oh, you control the future too?_

'You're right. We are going into some dangerous territory. I should know. I just feel... bad. Weak, even. Last time I had Chlo and even so we lost in the end.'

'Yeah...' Victoria looks around expectantly. 'So, where is this entry?'

'Not sure. I was on autopilot for five days, I could have put it anywhere.' She physically removes a drawer from her desk. Photos are strewn about in it, only one stack sloppily rubber banded together. Max places it between the two long them on the bed. 'Dig in.'

'Uh, Max? What's it look like?'

A sheepish blush creeps up from her neck. 'It's of this wall. With me in the foreground.'

'Another selfie? Fitting.'

'Hey!'

'No, I'm serious. You're photogenic, but you don't steal your scenes. It's a good thing! Your art let's people see the camera from your perspective. They can see the camera _they_ are holding taking _their_ selfie. You, the subject, becomes a placeholder for someone else to experience.'

Max is taken aback. _I'm not sure if I ever wanted my work to be viewed that way but... That's really cool._ 'Wow, Victoria, I never-'

'Not all your work. Some of it is derivative. Your eye is good, and your framing is amazing. But it's like you just take photos constantly, no thought of context, and hope they come out good.'

 _Ah, back to normal._ 'I don't know if I should be complimented or insulted.'

A closed smile, a hint of an incisor. 'That's the hallmark of a good critic review.'

'Shut up and keep looking.'

More teeth with this smile.

The trip down memory lane is bumpy. Max needs to pause, every so often, and explain a photo.

'This is from the junk yard. Chloe and Rachel had this little hidey hole set up. It was Tuesday, when we were testing my power limits.'

'The beach, right before we went to see Frank. The whales were so sad. Chloe accidentally shot Frank. She's so dumb. But fearless.'

'The sunset on Monday. Right before the snow. She is such a good subject.'

'After I woke up from the alt world. I needed to capture her again.'

'Max, no offence, but can we stop talking about all this.'

 _Why is she wiping her eyes?_ 'You okay Victoria?'

'Yeah, I'm fine.'

'No, you aren't. What is it?'

'I'm tired, Max.' She turns to leave.

 _Really? Fine._ A bit of the old venom laces the next sentence. 'That's cool, go get your beauty rest. I can save the world for now.' Max continues rummaging through her photo drawer, not really seeing the photos through the red tint.

Clicked heals. The sound of movement. 'You really don't get it!'

Max returns volley. 'Obviously not! If you want to be hella flaky, no problem. I thought you were tougher but, of course, dumb Max is wrong.'

'Yeah, right now your both! Dumb and wrong!' Rubbing temples and fighting the urge to scream. 'God, you even talk like her.'

'Wait, what?'

Exasperated. Bewildered, even. 'I really did _not_ want to spell this out to you.' She takes a stance, bitch-mode active.

'I'm not Chloe.'

_Yeah, that's obvious._

'I'm not replacing her. I don't want to be her. You don't want that either. So stop living in the past. It's harsh, I know. But she's gone. Dead.'

_This bitch! It's like she only wants to be around when I'm all fucked up!_

'How dare you!'

'How dare me? How many times have you forgotten this fact. "Is a good subject". "She _is_ so dumb". You're talking like she's in the next room, back at any minute. Max-'

_Don't say it._

'Chloe. Is. Dead!'

'I know!'

'DO YOU?'

_of course i know_

'Do you really? You don't talk or act that way. You said-' A choke in mid word. 'You said I was here because you needed someone. Said you needed me to keep you sane. From making a mistake and changing what happened in the bathroom. But you aren't acting like that.'

_i'm..._

'You are acting like... going back is on a to-do list, something you haven't gotten to yet.' Frustration expels from the blonde. 'You aren't even trying to move on from the funeral.' Responding to the brunette's expression. 'Oh, tell me I'm me you have no doubts about this world. Honestly.'

'I-'

_Fuck her!_

'I-'

_I know what I'm doing._

'I-'

_right?_

Her anger flairs. 'I know what I'm doing, _Vicky_. You are the one with the problem handling this.'

Volley, return fire. 'You're right! I'm having problems with all this bullshit! BUT I DON'T HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE IT!'

_Yeah, I can change all this! Go back and..._

_What?_

_...and stop this time line..._

_And then what? What would you do differently? Let's see. Never tell Victoria. Or Warren. You don't need help with this new problem, right? It's not like you specifically told her so she could call you out on this crap._

_...i can..._

_Go back and let the **real** last week happen. Let the town die. What's a couple thousand lives compared to the one you love? Of course she'll love you back. Who wouldn't love a person who mass murders for them?_

_I KILLED HER!_

_Yes. And you have to live with that._

_...i..._

_Yes?_

_i can't live with it._

No tears, but Max shakes like an addict going cold turkey. Victoria holds her, no questions about why.

'Max, I'm here to help you. And to stop you. But I don't think I could stop you if you choose to do... something drastic. All I get to do is talk.'

'talking helps. hurts too.'

'Yeah, I agree. But you have to listen.' Words are said right into her ear. 'It's like we are having an argument at the same time we are agreeing.'

'yeah. i've been fighting with myself.'

'I know. And- can I be an uncaring bitch for a minute?'

The look Max gives answers well enough.

'Okay. Don't be mad.' They understand the implications of _that_ statement. 'I, uh. I keep feeling like you are comparing me to Chloe. And I don't think I'm measuring up.'

'Oh, Vicky. I'm so so sorry for making you feel that way.'

'I get that, _Maxine_.' Friendly, a laugh. 'Chloe is just this... mythic figure. Your whole world revolves around her, even though... I see you dealing with it, but not the right way. I can't be her. _No one_ can. You need to let her go. Not all at once. But you need to accept you _can't_ bring her back.'

'...no...'

The rooms acoustics are surprisingly good to echo the slap. _WHAT!_

'Max, so help me, if I'm going to be your conscious, I'm going to make you fucking listen.' Victoria is getting angrier. 'You. Can't. Save. Chloe.' She calms slightly, taking a moment. 'You have to get that through your head. I know you understand it. But you don't feel it.'

Max is speechless and thoughtless.

'I... I still love Nathan. If he walked back into my life I'd forgive him. It's terrible but true. My mind blames him. My heart just wants him back. And I-'

Something deflates within the girl.

'I'm using you because I miss him. For the last two days. I need someone in my life like that. But you are the furthest person from him. So much... better for me. Already, just two days later. I need to stop looking for that old friendship in you.'

The words are difficult to hear through chattering teeth. 'And I need to stop looking for Chloe in you.'

'Not just in me. You need to stop looking for her at all.' _Damn, she needs a tissue._ 'She's gone, Max. They both are. Can't bring them back. Not- not in the right way. But we still have some of them. Memories, good and bad times. That's all we got, but it _has_ to be enough.'

'It isn't enough. Not for me.' The shaking abates as the emotions shift. Fear and anger to depression. To loss and lost. 'I can't live with this. I killed her. I let her die. Same thing, in my mind.'

'But the other people-'

'Doesn't bring her back. And the rational part of me knows I can't do it. Even the emotional part, the broken heart, _knows_ things are better this way. So many people, so many _kids_ , are alive with their whole world ahead of them.' Pain, deep in her chest. 'I can't take that away from them. But I can only think ab-bout her. I let her future just... go away. I may not have pulled the trigger but I had the ability to stop it. Have the ability. To stop an injustice against one I love.'

_You love your dramatic pauses._

'It's not fair. Life is just completely unfair. Why does one life change so much because of so little? Why was I given these powers if they only screw things up?'

'They don't, Max. You saved Kate last we. You stopped Jefferson and found Rachel. It all went sideways but you were still able to do good. These choices. These battles, you can't win them all.'

'I... I can't _live_ like this.'

That statement, especially the inflection, stops time in its tracks. Metaphorically.

'Max, don't talk like that.'

'Half my thoughts are me hating myself. The other half are my excuses why. I don't... I don't want to die. I just want to be with her. No more problems. No more Bay bullshit. No more responsibility way too heavy for me to bear.'

Victoria shifts uneasily.

'Vicky, I only want to stop the hurting. Either I bring her back. Or I pretend she's still around.'

'...or I join her...'

Victoria's nails dig painfully into Max's shoulders. 'Look at me.' The eye contact is intense. 'I. Will. Never. Forgive. You.' Each punctuated word hits like a hammer. 'Ever. I will curse your name till I'm hoarse in the throat. I will teach my children, God forbid, to curse your name.'

Pain, pain Max has only ever felt, gazes back at her.

'You don't get to take the easy way out. It's only easy for you. All of us have to pick up after... that. You think this is pain now? Your parents. Kate. Warren. What would they do?'

'What would I do?'

Doubling of intensity, if that were possible.

'And the next fucking word out of your mouth better not be "but".'

'...i'm sorry...'

'Damn right you are. God, I'm not made to handle this. I didn't think so, anyway. You got to see the love people have for you Max. Your parents do. Joyce does, Kate does. Obviously Warren does.' A sly smirk. 'I'm... getting there.'

'...bitch...'

'You know it.' Still exasperated, not quite bewildered. 'Dammit girl. I don't need this drama. Neither do you. And I _know_ drama.' She finally breaks eye contact. 'I know I was harsh. But you needed your ass kicked. I also know you heard me but it didn't get into your heart.'

'...you can kick my ass again later...'

'Thanks. I _am_ going to.' The embrace is tight. 'We good for now?'

'no. but better.'

'I'll take it.' She looks at all the photos, many wrinkled from betting sat on. 'Can you continue or are we done for now?'

'i think i know where it would be.'

'What? Where?'

Deep, deep breath. 'If it's whole, it got turned in. Probably. If it's torn up, under my bed. I know me and I don't clean up that often.'

The blonde, in undignified manner, gets down on her knees and looks around. 'Damn, Max. We spent an hour looking f-'

'Shit.'

'yeah, it's one of those days.'

Half a fuzzy selfie is held in Victoria's fingers, like a diseased rodent. Parts of the wall behind the bed can be seen past an indistinct brunette.

'This it?'

'yeah.'

The damn silence is back.

'Which means...'

'yeah. time wasn't screwed up.'

_say it_

_no_

_SAY IT_

'something else wanted chloe dead.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit short. Had to be, for me. Not only does it culminate with some unpleasant weight. I actually pulled some dialogue that was said to me and adapted it for Victoria's final tirade. I have, from early teens to present, manic depression. Now I deal with it well and have the support and disciple I need. But when I was ninteen I was in a very dark place in a family that loved me but didn't know how to help. After a particularly bad month, a loved one sat me down and gave me a very similar speech. It was the first of many, but also the first step I took to helping myself. And right now, as much as I want to write more, I need a break from this plot line.
> 
> For anyone in need of help with self harm or suicidal thoughts, call 1-800-273-8255, 24/7


	10. If We Be Friends

**_* Sunday Night, Just Before Bed, After the Storm *_ **

Hours of discussion later and Max is still wired. The trio had gone back to the hospital right after the explanation to Kate. After parental check-ins and saying goodnight to the blonde, Chloe and Max move down to the faculty showers. The facilities were being made public for those whose homes were destroyed as well as their family. So late at night, the dozen or so showers set aside for women were empty.

They needed the showers.

'I don't get why we need _t_ _wo_ stalls.'

'You're such a dork, Chlo.'

'I mean, if anything we'd be conserving water. Always good during a crisis.'

'Let's get to second base before you try to steal home.'

A rattling of the nearby shower door. 'Yes. Let's.'

 _She's unsustainable._ 'That's not an invitation!'

Max can hear the pout on the bluenette's face. 'But Maxi-pad. I'm cold and wet. Help me.'

 _She is impossible._ A wolfish grin. _I wish I actually minded._ The warm water and scrubbing of her scalp helps keep her stall locked. _Not sure my resolve can handle this otherwise._

Exiting, Max finds her girlfriend's back turned as Chloe dries her hair. _Must look away._ But easier said than done. It takes a bit more will to do so than the brunette expects. _Why am I staring at her bare back?_ She glances around the lockers again. Purely scientific exploration. _Not sure if I'm really into girls but I'm definitely into that._

Without further interruption they dress and head to the cafeteria for a post-midnight meal. _We really need new threads. These have seen better days._

'So, Max-n-cheese or spaghetti and Max-balls?'

'Please stop Chloe, you're starting to reach too hard.'

'I'll show you what's hard-' Her smile drops. 'Yeah, definitely trying to be too punny.' She eyes the lukewarm food with much reduced enthusiasm.

 _Such. A. Dork._ 'They have Jello...'

'I've been lied to before.'

'It's cherry...'

'Oh, gimmie!'

Plans laid out between bites.

'Dad said he's got a room we can crash in at the recovery-outpatient-thingy building across the parking lot. They converted all the therapy rooms and he got one for us if needed.'

A mouthful of gelatinous cherry stains Chloe's mouth crimson. 'I never knew the hospital was so big.'

'Yeah.' A swallowed spoonful of cheesy pasta. 'It's been worrying me, actually.'

Gaze switches from Max's untouched dessert to her eyes. 'Why?'

'The hospital is huge. Like, way too big for Arcadia Bay. There are major hospitals in Seattle smaller than this.'

'So?'

'The Prescott's built it.'

'Ah. Now you have my attention. Could be something to look into.'

'My thoughts exactly.' More munching. 'You think they involved with this new wibbly-wobbly?'

'I don't know. It would give a nice excuse to go after Sean Prescott.'

'Yeah.' Max stares at the fork hovering over her plate. 'Oh, just eat my damn pie.'

'Thanks.' A mouthful of pumpkin pie slightly distorts Chloe's voice. 'You see, this is why I love you.'

A stutter in both their bites.

The remainder of the meal is quiet.

Cleaning up. By unspoken consensus they make their way outside and over to their temporary shelter. Finding the right room.

'Someone threw a bed in a shrink's office.'

'Don't complain Chlo.'

'Am not. I'd just expect one of those super comfy couches instead.'

Max eyes the makeshift bedroom dubiously. Medical texts surround the room, an empty desk pushed to the outside wall. A plain pair of armchairs sit by the door. The medical bed is long enough but quite narrow. _I can probably make do if I arrange the chairs the right way. Better than last night, sitting up in that metal one._

'Hey, spare scrubs.' A wad of clothes hits the brunette in the chest. ' Something should fit. Change outta those skank threads.' Chloe already has rummaged up her own pajamas. 'So, big or little spoon?'

Blush rises. 'Um, Chloe...'

The taller girl sighs. 'Max, I know, and there's no reason to make this weird.' She turns her back and begins to strip. Max quickly follows suit. 'We've slept in the same bed dozens of times.'

'...not, um, while dating...'

Turning back, fully scrubbed up, Max sees what the bluenette decided as proper sleep attire. Nurse pants and... bra. _Why is this so weird?_

'Damn, your head is gonna pop.' She crosses the empty space, grabbing the smaller girl's hands. Serious face. 'Max, stop worrying. You look kind of freaked out and there's no reason to.'

'It's just... different. Now.'

'No, it isn't. First off, this is _so_ not the place to make a move on you. Second, we are both _so_ not ready for any hanky-panky.'

'Hanky-panky? Seriously?' _Like, really?_

'Shush.' She cocks her head to the right. 'Finally, we're best friends. For, like, forever. Hell, you saw more swimming last week.' Chloe regards herself. 'Same bra too, I think.'

 _Yup..._ 'I-I know Chlo. I just never wanted to, you know, _look_ before.'

'Oooh. You checking me out Caulfield?' The answer look lets her know she's pushing a bit hard. 'Oh, stop. You may not have _looked_ , but I did.'

 _Please, someone, kill me now._ 'this isn't helping.'

'Yeah, well, you're tough enough to take a compliment.' Max covers her face. 'No, no hiding now. Max, you don't get it, do you?' Chloe leads them to the bed, sitting them down.

'Get what?'

'How beautiful you are?'

_Sure. The whole tom-boy look really gets people going. Maybe if puberty had kicked in harder..._

'Max, wow, you really _don't_ think your attractive.'

'I- I guess I might be cute if I didn't-'

'Again shush.' Chloe rummages through their bags until William's camera it's found. 'Okay, look at me. Now, believe me wholehearted when I say this.' She lifts the machine so Max is eyes to lens.

'I love you.'

_Really?_

Click.

Chloe removes the picture from the camera front, setting them both aside to lean in. Cupping both sides of Max's face, they kiss. Not forcefully but insistently. It starts slow, building in depth and intensity until all Max can think of is continuing this way. Only when she begins to run out of breath does they part.

'Wowzers.'

A smirk, biting of the lower lip, is Chloe's response. Grabbing the photo, she explains it to her companion. 'You know what I see when I look at this? A young woman who means everything to me. A beautiful person. Someone so beautiful in my eyes she can't realize it. Ironic for someone so great at seeing the beauty in the world around her.'

_dammit, chloe_

'She's someone who walks through Hell for others. Someone who saves others. I understand how messed up you are. I am too. But, Max, you have got to start seeing yourself how others see you.' Three pecks. Mouth, nose, forehead.

'Chloe, I-'

 _How can I be this person she's describing_?

'I don't know _how_ you think I could be this person. After everything I did...'

'You did for me. For us. In spite of the result. God, do you realize how romantic it is? Defy fate and time and whatever other forces to keep me alive?' A sniff, and quickly wiped eyes. 'Dammit.' Trying to regain composure, and failing. 'I can only begin to understand the pain you took on for me.'

'i. i can deal with that pain. i got you.'

'Sh-shit. It's like you c-can't even help it.' The girl lies back, pulling Max with her and curling against her. 'Max, no one ever did something like this for me before. S-sure, people tried to help me with my pain. You don't help. You just take it away. Like it was never mine.'

_Oh_ _, Che. Oh, you were so broken._

'Y-you don't help me. You just _do_. I n-needed you and y-you came back.' She has difficulty catching her breath. _Panic attack?_

But the pain subsides, in time. Exhausted, both of them, Chloe peeks from under her beanie to play with the younger girl's hair while Max just holds her.

Their voices cannot be raised anymore. It is the time for whispers.

'that's why i'm worrying you.'

'...yeah.'

'because you think everything kinda broke me. changed who i am.'

'yeah. and...'

A shift, a question.

'and?'

'and you are- too into me. too focused on me.'

'what? i don't get it.'

'i hurt people, max. want to or not. it's just what happens. i can't stand hurting you. or you, hurting yourself, for me.'

'chloe, the more we care about someone, the more we can hurt them. and the more they hurt us.'

Silence.

'max?'

'yeah?'

'i love you.'

'i love you too.'

Peace.

**_* Sunday Night, Just Before Bed, After the Funeral *_ **

Hours of conversation later and Max is exhausted. She never went back to see Warren, instead texting him the discovery. A few more messages and Max assures him they would start first thing after class tomorrow.

Warren would never play hooky.

_I don't really want to, either. I need some normalcy. Something not so messed up._

Even if it is the slog of high school.

_Now if I could get rid of Victoria..._

The blonde is in full motor mouth mode. _Heh, alliteration._ Since the blow-up, melt-down, yell-fest, she has barely paused in the narration of her thoughts and theories. The who, how, and why are no closer to reveal. Doesn't stop Victoria from pulling from the Four Greats of Sci-fi Film, Spielberg, Lucas, Abrams, and Scott. _I'_ _d argue over two of those. JJ? Really? And Star Wars is barely Sci-fi. Roddenberry is a better choice._

'Maybe it's-'

'I swear to Dog, Victoria. If you say ancient aliens, I'm going to fluff up your hair and post the pictures on Facebook.'

A harrumph. _Did not know that was a real sound._ 'Fine. But you know Warren is going to suggest the same thing.'

'True, but let's deal with one trope at a time.'

Victoria grows quiet, again silently stroking the neck of the guitar beside her on the couch.

'Do you play? I mean, any musical instruments, Vicky?'

She states somewhat wistfully at the instrument. 'Piano, when I was younger. Not since I was twelve, at least.' She picks up the guitar, cradling it gently and, surprise, places her fingers to strike E minor. It rings quietly in the dark room. 'I learned the seven basic chords last year but never pursued it.' She studies her nails, frowning. 'Always wanted to, but it does a number on your manicure.'

'Here, gimme.' _Really going to do this? Something simple, some... Got it! Three chords, easy progression._ Max slightly tunes the guitar and strikes an open C. 'It's been a while, so no hate. My fingering might be off if I forget something.'

Nice warm-up intro. The first verse, sans words, goes without a hitch. On the second verse, both girls begin to sing, softly, as if on cue.

_Children, wake up._

_Hold your mistake up_

_Be_ _fore they turn the summer into dust._

_If the children don't grow up,_

_Our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up._

_We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms,_

_Turnin' every good thing to rust._

_I guess we'll just have to adjust._

Max loses her voice, cracking at "rust", but she finishes the melody, humming as Victoria sings the outro to completion. The final strum echos quietly around them, a smothering weight on the mood but a lightening in their minds.

Max finds herself first. 'Didn't think you'd know Arcadia Fire.'

Dead pan response. 'Really. An album called _Funeral_ , from a Canadian band, unknown to a Seattle hipster artist? Max, give me some credit.'

'Okay. Touché. But you always seem to be playing EDM or whatever. Bleeps, sweeps, and creeps.' _Please get the reference._

'Well electronica, I find, is best experienced as a concussive force. Around you. Not in your ears but also with your body.' She grins. 'Something like Wake Up is more intimate. Headphones, keeping it in your own little space.'

'An anthemic song...'

'You are not going to win this argument.'

Max throws up a hand, smiling and conceding. 'Totally agree with you.' A frown response to a flinch. 'What's wrong?'

Startling. A bit embarrassed. 'You just... your hand. You put it up like... like you showed me. Like you were...'

_Like when I rewind._

_She fears me?_

'Oh, uh. Sorry?' Max mimics the earlier harrumph, not quite the same quality. 'You, uh. You don't have to be afraid. I'm not going to _do_ anything like that. Especially when we're just, you know, talking.'

'I'm not... Okay, I am afraid. A bit. You have some real freaking power in that hand of yours.' Mostly embarrassed now. 'Forgive me?'

 _Damn. Gotta be careful I don't freak out the normies._ 'Nothing to it. I mean, seriously, you never need to fear me Victoria.' _Wow, she's turning redder._

'I know. And that's not true, fully. Dammit, Max, you got full-fledged magic powers going on. This puts the ancient Greeks to shame. I can't help feeling a little afraid.'

_Yeah. I know._

'I know. But, I mean, I could never, you know, use it for myself.'

_Not this week. Not after all the selfish crap you did last week you mean._

'I know that Max. At least, I know you believe that.'

_She's never going to trust you._

'This is about earlier.'

'Yeah...'

_Never._

'You don't trust me.'

'I do! Mostly.' A hasty addendum.

'Crap, Victoria. We going to argue again?' Frustration threatens to boil over. The hand still gripping the guitar neck tightens, causing a creak to issue. 'What can I do to show you I'm... okay, not fine. But not crazy. Or do you want to just pick another fight?'

'Geeze, bite my head off. And I'm not being unreasonable here. That was some messed up stuff earlier.' She's gaining steam. 'What kind of friend would I be to just ignore it?'

'I thought we weren't friends.'

'...and i thought we were.'

Victoria stands, straight for the door.

'wait.' Max looks for her voice. 'Please, stop. I can't keep fighting you.' Victoria pauses, hand on handle. 'I'm sorry.'

'Why? Why are you sorry this time, Max?'

'Because...'

_Why?_

_Because I'm on a hairpin trigger. Because I'm **not** dealing with everything in a healthy manner. Because we **are** friends, as strange as that is._

_Because you're_ _wrong, Max._

'Because you're right, Victoria. Everything, absolutely everything you've said is one hundred percent accurate. I'm a mess, at best. Unstable at worst. We **are** friends.' A small feeling touches Max's chest. 'I already knew everything you said today. But...'

'God, I hate it when you use that word.' Victoria towers over the sitting brunette. 'But it's different hearing someone else say it.'

'How do you know me so well?'

Laughter. _She's laughing **at** me. But-dammit, again-I'm okay with that. From her, in this time, it's okay to be laughed at_.

'Max, you are the most obvious person I know. First, you can't lie. It's just not possible. And that's because you wear your emotions all over your face. When you lie, you feel bad, and you always look like you want to completely do the conversation over.' She catches herself. 'Which is pretty ironic.'

_Not just that. True, too. I have done a lot of awkward interactions over._

'Plus, I've said this before. You don't care about the opinions of others. You are just _you_.'

'You can be like that Victoria. You've shown me today.'

'If I was acting like I felt today, I'd be a babbling idiot in the corner. Or mute from the screaming. Or... It doesn't matter.' She sits next to Max, moving the guitar out of the way. 'You are one of the strongest people I know. Before the superpowers. Now...'

Hesitation. 'I'm not sure time travel really _adds_ to this power you see.'

'No, and that's my point.' Victoria brings the clasped hands in front of them both, shaking Max's right. ' _This_ doesn't make you more powerful. What you endured. That is your strength. You made the greatest personal sacrifice I've ever heard of and you're still here. Mostly.'

'And _that_ is why I'm scared.'

_Because you're crazy_ _. You are a jigsaw puzzle with no corners._

'Because you seem to be breaking. God, the strongest person I know, and if you can't handle this, I'm screwed.'

_She doesn't get it. She doesn't see your turmoil._

_She sees everything else._

_You know better. You know how weak you are._

_Am I?_

_Yes._

_All day long, all days long, I argue with myself. I doubt. I remain quiet. Why? I can take charge. I can lead._

_You follow. You follow Victoria's instructions. Warren's explanations. Directions from your teachers and parents._

_Not last week._

_No. Then you were just following **her** lead. Taking **her** strength and passing it off as your own. Admit it, to yourself at least. Without Chloe?_

_You. Are. Nothing._

'Vicky...' Max can't stop anymore. She falls apart, melting. All her will is just... gone.

_Who am I anymore?_

'You are Maxine fucking Caulfield.'

_I said that out loud?_

'You are the eighteen year old woman who made time her _bitch_. You stared down fucking murderers and didn't blink. You saved lives and got justice. You are a certified goddamn _hero_.' The blonde does her best to keep Max from breaking. ' _I_ know this. _You_ know this. No one else needs to see. No one else matters.'

Quiet.

Not silence.

Just a calm quiet time.

'...never maxine...'

Neither can stop the giggles. Nervous tension needs to dissipate. 'Fine. But you got to stop with this "Vicky" nonsense.'

'...never tell a time lord what to do...'

More broken ice.

Victoria sobers up. 'Okay. Maybe you heard me this time. But I am going to routinely kick your ass like this. As often as necessary.' She hesitates before continuing. 'Which means I need to ask you for something. Two things, really.'

'What?'

'First, a selfie. We need that safety net for everything that might happen.'

_Sure._

'Sure.' Max rummages through her bag. Click, flash, and a few shakes later. 'I look terrible.'

Victoria takes it, evaluating. 'You look beat up, tired, and stoic. And still better than me first thing in the morning.' The blonde tucks it away. 'Now, number two. I trust you, Max. Even when I'm scared of all this. I need you to trust me the same way. Completely. For this to work. Not to prove your trust. So I know what I'm doing is working. That I am, in fact, helping.'

'I need the butterfly photo.'

_NO!_

_but_

_NO! SHE'LL DESTROY IT! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO GO BACK!_

_but_

_YOU'LL NEVER SAVE HER!_

_good_

_WHAT?!_

_good. i don't need the temptation. i don't need the weight. i- i can't save her. never could, that way._

'...what will you do with it?'

'No. You need to hand it over, no questions.'

Max pulls it from her bag. _Slightly wrinkled._ She stares. She feels the edge of it. The edge of the window to that moment. She sees all of it. The touches, the laughter. The flirting and coy looks. The dare. The finale. So easy to focus on-

Max hands over her pain.

'Thank you.' Victoria hugs her hard. Max holds on for dear life. 'I will keep it safe.'

Max feels lips press against her forehead. Victoria is closing the door behind her. 'Goodnight, Max. And thank you.'


	11. Grab a Brush

_*** Monday Morning, Just Before** _ _**Breakfast, After the Storm *** _

The spare clothes donated to the relief effort ill fit the girls. Chloe wears a much too large hoodie and cargo pants. Max is decked out in a too small sweater and newish acid wash jeans only held up by a belt. Only Kate looks comfortable, sporting her flannel ensemble again.

 _Need bacon._ No bacon. Pancakes, though. _At least there's that._

Eating quickly, they head to the parking lot. No one says much. The revelations of yesterday still roll aroind all three heads. Kate joining the duo brings all the revealed turmoil back to a head.

_To think, last night all I could think about was... sharing a bed. With Chloe. My girlfriend._

The silence fits the morning. Brittle. Clean. Arcadia Bay still has no cloud coverage.

_Where have all the clouds gone_

Chloe's truck breaks the silence, coughing to life and shattering the glass containers around them. Chloe follows up her machine.

'So, kids, where to?'

'Blackwell first, Che.'

'On it.'

The academy looks no worse for wear, if you ignore the car sticking out the front wall. _How did it even get on the second floor?_

None of them even try to enter the school. Instead Chloe heads straight for parking, to be greeted by half a dozen people. Three security officers and three fellow classmates. There seems to be some sort of argument occurring, one which, by the look of things, Victoria, Dana, and Juliet are losing.

'I really am sorry miss but, like I already said, you cannot enter until-'

'Until first thing in the morning. That was the promise from both my principal and FEMA. Well, it's morning. Now let us enter.'

'-Dale, a few more are coming over-'

Chloe seizes on the divided attention to insert herself. 'Dale Plumb! Did my stepdad leave you in charge?'

'Oh, hey Miss Price. We heard. How's, um, how's your mom?'

'Its Chloe, Dale, and Mom's getting better. David's with her, otherwise he'd be down here telling you to let us in.'

'But we need-'

'Dude, you have six young women in desperate need of clean clothes and proper showers. You _need_ to let us in before there's a Lord of the Flies moment out here.'

Six pointed stares wilt the last of the guards resistance. 'Eh, fine. None of the lights work so be careful. Hot water heater gas, though. Showers should be good to go.'

As the three older men recede greetings and hugs are shared. Chloe refrains from the embraces, even if Juliet tries to sneak in a sidelong squeeze. Surprisingly it is Victoria whose hug is the longest and strongest, especially for Kate.

'So Katie, how are you and your bitches doing?'

'Vicky, language please...'

'Oh, sorry. Reflex.'

_Victoria apologizing? And the Katie and Vicky nicknames? Is **this** the parallel world?_

'Yeah, _Vicky_ , you should be more considerate of our virgin ears.'

'Laugh it up, Price. I didn't think there was anything about you still considered virgin.'

While the insults seemed quite mean from the outside it was actually refreshing and pleasant for Max to hear. Some normalcy returned to the world.

Walking in and up the stairs, Kate starts lagging behind until she comes to a complete stop at the floor door. Max backtracks to see her almost in tears.

'Kate? What's going on?'

'I- I can't. I'm so worried.'

'Oh, don't be. Well, yes, do worry. But the three of us are more than a match for the Storm.'

'No. Not just the future. It's... it's Alice...'

_Gah! I completely forgot I was watching her! Some pet sitter you are._

'Oh! I, uh, I'll check on her first?'

'N-no. I can face this. But-' She clasps one of Max's hands in her own. 'I can use some help.'

'Of course.'

A yell from down the hall breaks the conversation. 'Max! Come quick!'

The pair breaks into a fast trot. Rounding the door frame, Chloe is kneeling by an overturned potted plant, stripped of leaves. A rabbit sits by her, being gently pet by the bluenette.

'Max, it's Lisa. Alice... Alice killed her.'

The blonde squeals as she picks up her clearly healthy bunny, gently nuzzling nose to nose. 'Did you miss me? Did you miss mommy? You had me so worried!' The initial elation slightly waning, she rounds on Max. 'I'm so sorry about your plant. Let me replace it... her, when things settle.'

'Don't worry Kate.' Max gives a scratch between Alice's ears. 'She gave herself to a worthy cause.' _And I over-watered the heck out of her last week anyway._

'You know that's not going to stop me.' She turns to the door. 'Okay, let's go check how bad...'

'Wait, Katie. I need a picture.' Click, flash, buzz. Shaking photo. _Doesn't speed it up but I enjoy the tactile nature of it._ 'Okay Kate, this is yours but I'll need a copy.'

A standard pet and owner photo. Side by side faces, scrunched up and close. Alice is turned towards her owner, regarding her. A genuine smile and tightly closed eyes are offset by the tear just breaking free from Kate's expression.

_This just says 'joy' so well._

'Gosh, Max! It's so good.' _One armed hugs are awkward but still good._ 'Okay, less dawdling, more scavenging. I need to get my room in order.' The closed door behind her departure does little to stop Kate's words. 'Vicky! Look, Alice is fine! And look at Max's picture!'

Chloe clicks her teeth and chuckles. 'That girl is walking, talking sunshine. So, Maxwell of the Silver Hammers, what do we need?'

The younger girl is still standing near the door frame, taking it all in. _A bit musty, like old rugs that were washed but not properly dried. Probably from the cracked window._ _My comforter looks trashed too._

'Well, I was hoping for the blanket and sheets to be good, but no go. Let's get the pillows, some clothes, and I'll check the drawers for useful stuff.' Opening the top of her desk, Max finds a pleasant surprise. 'Film! Thank Dog, I thought I was out.'

'Hang on, kid. Take a minute and realize something. You can A, clean your room, B, go take a real long shower and put on something from your own wardrobe, or C, kiss your girlfriend in absolute privacy.' Without waiting for a responce, Chloe spins her around. One hand on Max's chin, tilting it upward, the other encircling the brunette's waist, Chloe plants a few short, chaste pecks at the corners of her mouth.

_No, you do **not** half-ass this._

Max's response is one grip at the base of Chloe's neck, the other knocking aside her beanie to lighty hold hair. They lock eyes and dive into each other. Then closing them to better focus on the tactile pressure and taste she experiences. Max greedily demands from Chloe and, in turn, answers Chloe's own need.

Some time later they stand embraced, both breathing deep to calm the panting, both still eyes closed to deny the rest of the world.

'Chlo, I can stay like this.'

'Yeah...'

'But I need to get out of these clothes.'

'Yeah...'

Max leans back to stare at her girlfriend, a smirk on both their lips. 'I meant because they stink and they make me stink.'

An aborted laugh. 'Yeah...'

A light shove in an insincere effort to break their closeness. 'You're impossible.'

'Nope, I'm improbable. Maybe even just highly unlikely.'

'Chloe, let me take a _real_ shower with my _real_ shampoo so this nest my hair is turning into doesn't start attracting birds.'

'Oh, but you'd look so cute with little sparrows on your head. Or a bluebird! We would match!'

'Maybe later.' As she turns, there's a tug and she stares at the offending hand. 'Chloe, I need you to let go of my pants.'

'Fine, spoilsport. How about this? I'll take off the sheets and see if I can cover up the hole in the window with something. You get all wet and soapy and come back here and try to find something hipster in your closet.'

Gathering her supplies, Max plants another kiss but leaves before it can grow into another distraction. As she walks the hall, Max notices only Juliet and Dana have their doors open, calling out to each other as they find a salvageable bit of treasure or lamenting over the loss of a trinket.

_Almost like normal._

The bathroom was deserted with only half a dozen people left on the floor. Picking her favorite stall, Max set the temperature to its hottest and undresses. A test and a drop in heat set it perfect.

Shampoo first. A deep kneed into her scalp, working out the tension that seems ever present. Rinse. _Time to scrub._ Even with the late shower last night, the grime of the last few days has set deep in her pores. The abrasion of the luffa goes far to finally lift this last layer, leaving her pink and refreshed. As she works in her conditioner, Max lets her mind wander.

_Chloe and I never kissed like that before._

Hands against the wall, Max lets the shower hit her straight in the face and chest.

_The French sure figured out the right way to kiss._

An idle scratching at her hip. Her hand loiters.

_Chlo is just so-_

The bathroom door opens. Hastily, as if guilty, Max rinses and shuts the water. Between the deep scrub and the heat of the shower no one should see her blush.

Drying and dressing, Max realizes a potential hiccup in her ensemble. _How did I forget a bra?_ Chilling skin and her tight t-shirt is a no go. _I'll just... wrap my towel. Finish in my room._ Leaving the stall, Victoria is just finishing brushing her teeth.

'Hey, Victoria. How you doing?'

Spit. Rinse. Spit again. The taller girl locks eyes through the mirror. 'Shitty.'

 _Yeah, that's going around._ 'Uh, you... you want to talk?'

Looking down. Looking up. This time, no eye contact. 'Courtney is still missing.'

 _Dammit. Can't believe I forgot._ 'Wanna... talk about it?'

Standard operating bitch face activates. 'No Max. I'm fine. I...'

Max's toothbrush hovers just outside her mouth. The mild mint pricks her into motion. 'Victoria, we're not friends. Not now. But we went through some shit this past week and...' Word search commence. 'And all our hostility is petty bullshit so if I can help just by listening then lay it on me.' Max jams the toothbrush in a bit too forcefully, banging her gums, in an effort to shut herself up.

Bitch face relaxes, leaving something between suspicion and pain in its place. 'Fine. You want to hear it.' She turns squarely to Max. 'First, my best friend _and_ the man I idolized are both serial killers and sexual predators. Next, my _other_ two friends, well, one's probably dead and the other blames me for her death. My _parents_ still don't know if I'm alive or dead. The only people making an effort to talk to me are you, whose life I tried to make a living hell, and the girl whose life I _did_ make a living hell, so much so she was going to kill herself.' Her every muscle screams anger except her lower lip, vibrating with all the other emotions she contained. 'And that's just the _personal_ shit I'm going through! Because fuck the town, right? All I can do is stand here and think about the shit that's happened to me!'

Without hesitation Max holds her tight, careful not to stab her with the toothbrush sticking out of her mouth. Victoria tenses, then melts, all her anger fleeing. She desperately holds to Max, sobs wracking her body as a week's worth of repressed tragedy expels at once. She tries talking, though blubbering is more accurate.

'Whu-why won't it s-stop?'

Max stands there and holds Victoria. Five minutes, fifteen, an hour. Doesn't matter, she waits until Victoria stops.

Finally, she does.

Max, able to clean out her mouth, speaks up first. 'You're coming with me today.'

'Whu?'

'No argument, no excuses.' _Do it. I know she's a better person than most believe._ 'I'm heading over to Chloe's place to see what we can salvage. Kate too.'

'But Katie-'

'No excuses. Come on, you know Kate forgives you. It's Kate. And I do too.' Max piles her toiletries and rounds back on Victoria. 'You're stronger than this. But even the strongest people need someone to lean on from time to time. Grab a brush and put on a bit of makeup and knock when you're ready. Or we'll knock on your door.'

A small voice stops Max at the door. Without turning, she listens.

'max. i'm sorry. and thanks.'

'You're welcome, Vicky.'

'...bitch.'

But there's laughter beneath the word.

Max takes her time walking to her room. Hard to do, but manageable when pensive. _That was pretty cool. Didn't rewind once, either._ _If only I could know what to say normally. Without all the super powers._ She stares back down th empty hall. Even Juliet and Dana are quiet. _So many missing._ _Taylor, elsewhere. Courtney,_ _Alyssa, MIA. Brooke, and- and Warren._ She closes the last six feet in two steps, dropping her items in the process. The sound of a nearly slammed door causes Chloe to jump, followed immediately by a string of epithets.

'Che, what's wrong?'

'Nothing. Just pinked my finger.'

'Oh! I'm so sorry! I can rewind and-'

'No!' Chloe starts at her own volume. 'Now I'm sorry. So, no. No time travel over the little stuff.' She sucks at her index before grabbing a tissue and continuing. 'We're already living in Groundhog Day. No need to move on to 12 Monkeys territory.'

'Sorry. You're right.' Beat. 'Turn around.'

'Oooh, you got a surprise for me?'

'No. I just feel like getting dressed.' Firm stance and raised finger stall any argument. 'And do _not_ peek.'

A frown and a 'fine' is all the answer she gets. Finding what she needs, Max eyes Chloe's turned back in the mirror. _One day- but I'm so not ready. I really want to be, soon._

'Oh, Chlo...'

'Yeah?'

'Victoria is hanging out with us today.'

'What?!'

The bluenette turns just as Max finishes pulling down her shirt. Speechless.

Max goes for the most adorable puppy look she can muster. 'Please.'

'...Dammit Caulfield. I got to ask why though.'

'Because.' An intake of breath in case of argument. 'She's hurting, just like you and me and Kate. Everyone in her life has left her. She still hasn't gotten in touch with her parents yet.'

'...Dammit again. Fine. But I'm not going soft on her.'

'Wouldn't ask you to. Neither will she.'

'Good.' An inward look crosses her. 'So, I got together stuff. Pillows, pens, artsy supplies, plus your computer, hard drive, wires of all sorts, the photos in your drawer, your teddy, guitar, and...' Chloe runs low on fingers to check off. 'You just need to grab clothes.'

'My wall.' She stares at the art she created, already lamenting its pending destruction. 'I don't want to leave it here, just in case.'

'Okay, you get clothing, I'll start picking.' They commence in comfortable silence until Chloe breaks it. 'You know, you're too nice sometimes.'

Max, trying to decide which indie rock shirts to grab, is at a loss. 'Huh?'

'With Victoria, I mean. You've probably already forgiven her for the way she treated you.'

'Well, maybe.'

'See. Too nice. You gotta be a vicious bitch sometimes.' A red smear appears on the wall as one stubborn photo causes a fumble. 'Shit!'

'You okay?'

'Yeah. Just lemme pick this all up.'

Chloe thrusts the haphazard pile into Max's hands. _And what would happen if I was still folding shirts? Wait, is-_

The pictures, save for one, tumble to the floor. Max shakes, adrenaline and fear exploding in her body.

'Chloe, where did you get this?'

'Get what?'

'This photo! Where was it?'

'Max, calm down, you're scaring me.'

'No, I won't! Look!'

A smear of red tint detracts from an otherwise innocent double portrait of two young teens.

'This is- This is what I used to go back. When I made the alt world.' Max has wet eyes and shining cheeks but hasn't realized she's crying.

'I burned this picture five years ago.'


	12. Try to Hide the Scars Away

_*** Monday Morning, Fifteen Minutes Before First Period, After the Funeral *** _

_I have no idea if I did my homework. Or if I even had any._ Max stretches her shoulders, settles the comfortable weight of her tote bag. A yawn cracks her jaw.

_Blerg. Why did I want classes again?_

Victoria chats with Taylor directly in front of her. Once every few minutes she tries to draw Max into the conversation but single syllable words and noncommittal grunts forestall any deep distractions. Awake two-ish hours and Max is still getting her thoughts in order. Not that order is helping.

 _Is Warren avoiding me?_ Three texts have gone unanswered.

 _This isn't like him._ A little bit of irony playing out.

_I guess I might deserve a bit of payback for all the times I've done the same._

But it is no easier to endure the silence.

_If us Scoobies are going to figure out anything, Buffy needs her Giles._

It takes Max a few moments to realize Victoria is talking directly to her.

'What, Vicky?'

'We have to get to class. What is up with you today?'

'Just the usual end-of-world stuff.'

They set off. 'I'm guessing Warren is still a no-show.'

'Yeah. I mean, he was so gung ho last night. And he was texting me every day since we met day one of the school year.' Max stares at her phone, willing it to activate.

Tongue clicking. 'Max, you have a lot to learn about men.'

'I know. What specifically?'

'He's hurt. Maybe not badly, but Warren had this huge crush on you. Now he needs some space to get over it.'

'That's- that's fine. That's even thoughtful. But we kind of need him to save the world right now.'

They stop just outside the World History classroom. 'Max, don't push this one. You'll just drive him away.' She opens the door but pauses before entry. 'Maybe I'll tell him to just ask Brooke out.'

'You see that too?'

'Hard to miss how head over heals that girl is.'

History class is as interesting and boring as usual. _Who would guess something as fascinating as the Roman Empire could be distilled to such dry facts._ Max does her best to take notes and remain focused.

By the time algebra rolled in, though, her concentration is gone. Covertly covering up her lap, she grabs her phone to bother Warren again. The fact he responds instantly, much to Max's surprise, causes a dropped phone and a disapproving stare from the teacher.

_Warren: in library. come to lunch._

_Did he really skip morning periods?_

Post-algebra Max always has difficulty focusing. _The numbers are just too cold_ The library is sits just above the cafeteria, allowing her to grab a soda. _Yay, caffeine._

She chugs the drink standing outside the library doors. _No food, no drink. No yelling, laughing, screaming, playing, fun._ Walking through the doors greets Max with the one thing every library shares: peace. The thickness of silence and calm actions, the smell of so many printed pages. There is one reason to make this place your destination. It is the only public space designed for privacy. Private thought. It welcomes silence and stillness.

_A three dimensional photograph. A **living** photo._

Warren set up shop in one of the corners, window side. Half a dozen books lay open in front of him, with several more betting shuffled aside by a irate Victoria.

'Warren, I'm hungry and cranky. You could have at least made room for me to sit.'

Bloodshot but alert eyes stared at Victoria, processing for a moment. 'I did. But I ran out of room.' He bends back to his notebook, scribbling again.

 _I'll just stand right now._ 'Uh, hey guys. What's cracking?'

Once again worn eyes look up. This time, though, excitement washes out the weariness. 'Max! I know the secret to your universe!' The shushing that assaults Warren causes his addendum to be whispered. 'At least theoretically.'

Victoria quietly drags over a chair and motions for Max to sit. 'Okay Warren. Explain.'

'First off, Max doesn't have time travel power. She has two distinct different powers which follow separate sets of rules. The rewind power allows her to change about, what, a minute or two at most?' Confirmation. 'It also allows you to change location. And, since you don't cause explosions or sonic bombs constantly, you must also project a field of some sort that displaces the air properly into any place you travel through.' He looks up at his of students. 'Following so far?'

Nods.

'Okay. Now this power works in any multiverse theory. Heck, you don't need any theory. It works because you aren't traveling to a different point in time.'

Victoria interrupts. 'No. That's exactly what Max does.'

Warren smiles. 'That's how I saw it. But it isn't. Max, you're traveling _through_ time. Not like we are, right now, but you are experiencing existence in a lineral way.' He tries to draw something but several moments of pen to paper leaves him dissatisfied. 'Look at it this way. This is the alphabet.' More writting. 'Us normies just follow the normal flow, A to Z. Your rewind lets you travel along the alphabet in reverse direction. Or to even stop on a letter.' Arrows and underlines compliment the statements.

Realization hits Max right between the eyes. 'But my photo power skips the alphabet.'

Warren beams. 'Exactly. You start at J and skip back to E. You make that E lower case. Or erase it all together. When you bounce back to J, all of a sudden the letrers in between are different. No more FGHI. Even J is different.'

Victoria looks mildly pissed. 'We know all this. What did you figure out?'

Warren, stricken, audibly gulps. 'Well, there's a few different views about what the multiverse might be. And the only way the photo power works is by accounting for these theories. Two similar views agree that the universe acts like a wave function.' He pauses. 'What do you know about quantum mechanics?'

A shared glare.

'Okay, layman's terms. A quantum computer, which is what everyone wants to build, uses a quantum gate. Instead of the binary bits being ones and zeroes, yes or no, they are both and neither and either-or. Until you view them, they have no definition. No reality.'

'Schrodinger's cat.'

_What about kitties?_

'Exactly.' He looks to the brunette. 'We've lost Max. Okay, the simple version. A cat in a box with poison. A radioactive material will randomly cause a door to drop, potentially saving the cat. Is it alive or dead?'

'Um, how should I know?'

Excitement charges Warren's face. 'Exactly! Without conscious observation, you can't know. Which is why the answer is both. He's alive and dead. Until we open the box both realities exist.' He scribbles a Sin wave. 'Both outcomes exist until we collapse the wave and make one the true reality.'

_Poor kitty._

'Okay, I get all this. I mean, I knew all this from movies but never had it explained before.'

'Okay, then let me throw another metaphor at you. If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?' _He's getting really exited. Even cheeky._ 'In this case, same reasoning. Without anyone observing it, the tree, the forest, doesn't actually exist. Consciousness creates reality.'

Warren runs back a few pages in his notes. 'Here's where multiverse steps in. Without life to see it, there is no reality. The universe was created, for simplicity, the first time a living thing was able to make a choice. And a new one is made at every collapse of the wave.'

'Six billion people a day, every minute, make different universes by deciding to get the soup instead of the salad.' Victoria frowns. 'That's a hell of a lot of parallel worlds.'

'But that's one theory. Another states that only big choices cause a split. Start walking on one foot instead of another. Maybe you trip on the left. Maybe you arrive late on the right. But you won't get a spin-off unless it alters the future in any way.'

Max is starting to suspect where all this is going. A sick feeling churns with the carbonation in her stomach. 'But there would only be a parallel world if there was a destined world or future already. Unless the future was already set...'

Warren's face spins off in it's own parallel of Max's mood. 'Yeah.' He reaches across the table. His palm feels as cold and sweaty as the one it holds. 'Every time you went back, you started a parallel path. But, there's more.'

Max sours further. 'Great. How about we don't right now.'

Victoria's confusion finds a voice. 'So, what? Every time Max photo jumped, we got a new world? But, what about this one?' A hand on Max's shoulder squeezes. 'Maxine, what's wrong?'

'There is no-one else time traveling.'

'W-what?'

Warren rubs his eyes, his voice almost a whisper. 'Victoria, there has never, before now, been multiple universes. My ideas are really armchair-philosophy, true, but for this theory to make sense with what we know... We only get this collapsing-parallel worlds if there was a way for the future to exist in the present. Hey, we're all just people, present company included, and the way humans understand time some day can prove my idea wrong. But...'

He pauses, not wanting to say what Max already realized.

'Come on Warren, spell it out.'

A puffed exhale deflates Warren like a balloon. 'The alphabet. Before Max, there only was one. Now we have a few. Or a dozen, or dozens. We can't know. But our reality only wants one.'

And the point strikes Victoria. 'The other worlds. They are falling apart.' Apprehension, even fear, pales her. 'Our... our world.'

'I don't think so. We had one universe. I think it wants to be one again. They are all... merging.'

'...that's what she meant...'

'Max?'

The chair nearly topples as she bursts upright. 'I need air. I just- Let me get some air.'

Her retreat is hasty, her steps stuttered. Emotion blinds Max. _No tears, no tears. Not now._ A stumble against... something. Yellow cement. A parking divider. She's standing in the middle of the school lot, looking for something.

_What am I trying to find?_

_You know what._

_Tell me. Tell me now!_

_No. You know what you're looking for. **Who** you're looking for._

As if by magic there, right there next to Max, a rusted pickup pulls up, parking crooked. She didn't quite see the driver, hoodie drawn up over her face. Definitely a woman though.

_Who else could it be?_

The woman-maybe a girl-exits the vehicle, far corner from Max. A flick and an inhalation preceeds the appearance of smoke above the cab.

A name plays across Max's tongue, but lips remain firmly closed. A barked laugh strikes out from the truck. Max's knees bend and impact pavement.

_no_

_You wanted this._

Directly away from Max, combat boots strike cement as the tall woman walks to the far end of the parking lot.

_no_

_Go to her._

The steps trail off. Max squeezes her eyes shut, forcing the tears out of them.

_Go ahead, finish breaking the world._

_no_

_Everyone's dead. Nothing is going to exist. Get a few minutes alone with her before the end._

_no_

_Why not?_

_stop_

_WHY NOT? You **fucked up**. Really, really big time. You have at least, what, six worlds about to crash together at once? If it's anything like the Storm... Who's going to make it? Who's going to survive? Not a little hiccup in the Bay. **Worlds** are going to merge. Face it._

_i killed us all_

_Yup. And you might as well go out with this goddamn bitch you broke everything for in the first place._

_...okay_

But there is no truck in front of Max anymore.

_NO!_

She walks straight through the space where a moment ago the dilapidated truck rested. She runs to the far end of the lot, back to the dorms, a single word being repeated under her breath.

_Too late! But there is still a way._

Straight upstairs, past classmates headed back to class. Past a startled Kate.

_Just gotta get in her room._

Three slams against the door. 'Victoria, are you here! Vicky! Open up!'

'Max!'

Kate walks briskly towards Max, concern infused in every muscle.

'Max, what's going on?'

Near-feral eyes peer back at Kate. 'I need Victoria. She has something I need.'

Kate grabs an arm. 'Oh. Okay Max, just. Just come sit down. I'll get Victoria on the phone. Just come inside.'

One girls leads another into a dorm. _I can trust Kate. She owes me. No, wait. Another Kate owes another Max._ A water bottle is placed in her hands. Max empties it greedily. _My throat burns. My eyes burn._ Ringing is heard from Kate's hand. _Everything burns. Burns burns burns._ Words are said, audible and not, but Max doesn't comprehend. _Burns or drowns. Burns or drowns._

Eyes open, unseeing. Ears wide, no sound. The automatic action lifting bottle to face, the water doing nothing to quench.

The third repetition of her name finally breaks Max's world.

'What, Katie?'

'Max, tell me what's wrong.'

'Nothing.' A giggle escapes. _This is no laughing matter._ 'There's nothing wrong! I don't have to play by the rules anymore.'

'Max...'

'I can change everything. Everything! It's all going to shit anyway. I can do whatever I hella want now!'

Another giggle.

'Max, you're scaring me.'

 _Only the half of it._ 'Me too! I'm hella scared and worried and hopeful and I'm going to see her again. And here, now, I'll see her. I CAN BRING HER BACK.'

_No more rules. No more responsibility. No more pencils, no more books! Can't wait to see-_

The door to Kate's room open. Looking up, a stricken Kate stands beside a furious Victoria.

_Why aren't they smiling?_ _Let's put a smile on that face._

More giggles. 'Hey Vicky. Why so serious?'

'Max. Calm. The hell. Down.'

'Can't do that Vicky. Place to go, bridges to burn.' Max grips her sides, trying to contain the mania within her. 'Damn, I am most flippant and verbose when held in a jovial mood.'

'Max, you have to calm down and-'

'Where's the photo, Vicky? I need it, I want it. Wasting time not fixing things.'

'No, Max. I-'

Being denied switches gears instantly. 'Don't you dare deny me. Don't you even think you can stop me. You know you-'

_Slap_

'Max! Calm. The. Fuck. Down!'

Fury the way old gods felt it washes over Max. 'That's twice! Do it again and-'

_Slap_

The other cheek burns, though not as much. A smaller hand delivers it, with much less force.

Kate nurses her hand but hasn't stopped staring at her friend. 'What the hell is wrong with you!'

_Katie said hell? And hit me?_

'Victoria, I- I'm broken.'

Stop

Everything is still.

Motes of dust hang suspended.

_Gotta leave. Gotta- ngh!_

Pain in the shape of a solid steel pipe drives through, temple to temple.

_got. to. leave._

Max walks doubled over to the door, barely closing it behind her. A white-orange glow suffuses the hall. Dana stands by Juliet's door. Both peer at Kate's room.

_got. to. leave._

_CAN'T RUN AWAY FROM THIS_

_get. into. room._

_CAN'T HIDE EITHER_

_be. safe._

_COME OUT, COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE_

A feeble kick, as Max collapses on her rug, releasing time, to lock herself in.

The door _almost_ latches.

_no_

But she is too tired. Max stares down along the length of her body. The door sits six inches from her toes. May as well be miles.

Ten seconds.

Thirty.

A minute and Kate bursts in.

And unconsciousness follows.


	13. Shake Up

**_* Monday_ ** **_, Some Time Before Noon, After the Storm *_ **

'Max, stop.'

The bluenette grips shoulders with much more force than necessary. 'In and out, just breathe.' The hands shake, vibrating the world ever so slightly.

'There's a reason for this.' It feels right for Max to find these words. 'We- we've been running around looking for clues.' A photo waves in Chloe's view. 'Look, Che. A clue.'

_Compartmentalize. Focus on fact._

'But what does it mean? The pic from the day my d-dad died?'

Barely a stutter.

_She's handling it now. Good._

'I have no clue.' _Can't leave it there._ 'But you can be damn sure we're going to find out.' _Good. Placated._ 'Later. We figure this out later.'

_Nothing is ever so important that it cannot be put off until tomorrow._

A small shiver.

_When tomorrow and today are the same time._

'Oh-kay, Max. We'll put a pin in it until later.' An index finger taps the smaller girl's nose. 'But I reserve the right to freak out later.'

 _Bossy Chlo is a cute Chlo._ 'Aye, Captain. Shall I pack your brown pants?'

A sterner gaze than expected greets her comment. 'Max, you're hella cute. But I don't have it in me to laugh right now.'

'...kay...'

A grin cracks the bedrock. 'Do not even try the wounded puppy right now.'

 _I wonder if I can get that anime sad-eye look right._ Max softens her r's as she responds. 'If you weally tink I need to be mowe sewious...'

'Max...'

'...I'm sowwy...'

A pair of thumps at the door abort an embrace before it starts. 'Max! Quit snogging your girlfriend and help!'

 _Dammit._ The duo share a look. 'You think Kate told her?'

Chloe looks down. 'You mean brash, gossipy, outgoing Katie-bear?'

Half-second looks between them, doing the math. 'Actually, yeah. She gossiped a bit during our tea-time.'

More math, then in unison. 'Naw.'

Another pair of thumps rattle the door before Max pulls it open. Before her stands a pile of shoe-boxes above designer sweats and sensible shoes. Pivoting, a slightly red-faced Victoria is revealed.

'This is my last load and if you two are done humping we can get moving.'

'Victoria, isn't that a... a lot of shoes?'

A tsk emits before a juggling motion almost causes the pile to drop. 'Max, this isn't shoes. A bit of makeup, mostly papers and negatives, a few bits of what I need...'

'Okay, okay. Chloe will take down a load with you. I'll finish up.' A few shuffled boxes and bags has Chloe emulating Victoria, granted with a bit more volume. A quick kiss on the cheek and Max shoos the two on their way.

The receding conversation is still quite audible in the empty hallway.

'You two don't have to be all snobby.'

'What are you talking about, Chase?'

'The whole peck on the cheek thing.'

'Victoria, that's what couples do.'

'WHAT?'

Ruefully, Max closes her door. _I'll let Chloe have her fun._ A couple of armfuls of clothes later and the duffle bag was bursting. _Did not realize I had such an extensive wardrobe._ _How many graphic tees do I own?_

Duffle bag on one arm, guitar on the other, mini suitcase dragging along. _Half traveling minstrel, half unemployed hipster. Might be two halves of the same thing._ She looks around, checking for any last minute necessities. _I'll be back, right? Then why... why does it feel like I'm running away from home?_

All quiet, all doors closed. Disturbingly like her nightmare. _Yeah, really hoping to walk through these doors once._ The silence isn't eerie, precisely. It has that post-explosive whine, like tinnitus in your ear. It isn't the lack of sound that is heard. The brain instead tries to supply an idea of what should be heard. In this case a whine, barely on the edge of detectable, rising in volume as Max makes her way down the hall.

The school is empty and, save for a few final moments of activity as she is picked clean, dead.

 _Maybe Blackwell needs to die. Maybe everything that happened here needs to be forgotten._ _Maybe just you need to forget._ Without a last look, Max leaves.

The warmth of the noon sun, in a sky unmarred by clouds, doesn't quite penetrate her bones. The animated discussion, on the other hand, taking place in the parking lot does bring a smile to Max's face.

'So, like, how long have you been dating?'

'Yeah, probably since last Friday, really.' Chloe scratches her head. 'I mean, I was crushing hella hard on her since we were teens.'

Victoria's face lights up with something half devious, half questioning, like she just found a puzzle she'd love to solve. 'You know, I never would have guessed Max was gay.'

 _Oh, let's nip this before it gets bigger._ 'I'm not gay, Victoria. Well, I'm not, like, attracted to women. I think. It's just... for me, it's just Chloe.'

The couple's eyes lock, and the blank face of the bluenette is betrayed by the smoldering heat in her eyes.

'Oh, barf. Come on now.'

A smaller voice interrupts Victoria before she can get any steam. 'I think it's romantic. What could be better than falling in love with your best friend Vicky?' Kate is starting at the sky, a smile beaming from her face.

No one but Max detects the dark moment that plays across Victoria's face.

'Okay, so. Let's load up the truck. Katie, you go with Chloe. I'll ride with Victoria. This way if we get separated I can still get us to your house.'

'You sure Maxaroni?'

'Yeah.' _That wasn't a good look on Vicky._ 'The roads are screwed up enough, with emergency services and stuff, that we're probably going to get separated anyway.'

'Kay. Love ya babe.' A brief hug and kiss. 'See you there.'

_So couple-like. I can definitely get used to this._

The dangerous smirk is back on Victoria's face but the brunette waits until they settle in the car before speaking. 'Victoria, if you were grinning any tighter your lips would fuse. What gives?'

A shake of the head, a slight giggle, and the car pulls onto the street before the blonde answers.

'Love? Really Max?'

'Well...' _Uh..._ 'Why not? I knew Chlo for, like, ten years before I moved.' _Am I defending this to Vicky?_ 'We weren't just friends. We were sisters.' _Gross, wrong word._ 'I mean, I've never trusted anyone ever the way I trust Chloe. No, not just that. We trust each other with everything. Not just gossip or secretes. I know she will be there, for everything, without me asking or needing her. And I'll be there for her. Even when I can't help, even when I know being there might hurt her. Because...' _Where am I going with this?_ 'Because nothing, no happiness or pain or anger, is worth experiencing without her.'

Exhaustion blankets Max but does not linger. Instead it wraps her briefly before falling off, taking with it a tension Max hasn't noticed, a nagging sensation. _I didn't understand why, before. I didn't question my feelings for Chlo, consciously. But I guess, a part of me was... scared? Or confused? I never put into words this before._

It takes Max a few moments to refocus on the car interior. When she does the sound of a slightly stuffy inhalation draws her gaze to the left.

The profile is pale and tight. A shine traces the front of the visible cheek. A black puddle begins to form under the eye, a slight brushing of mascara.

'Oh, oh Vicky. Oh, I'm sorry if I upset you.'

Quickly a hand wipes both eyes, visible and not, before settling back on the steering wheel. A whisper issues between the tight lips.

'no, max. it's not you. i... i understand exactly what you mean.'

Two more lights change from red to green before Max says the name of the third passenger in the car.

'...nathan...'

The car wobbles ever so slightly before righting.

'can we not max.'

 _I really don't want to so..._ 'O-okay Victoria. But when... if you ever need to talk. I'm here. I'm here when you need-'

'Why?' The sharp word cuts the air, creating a vacuum between the two girls. 'Why do you want to hear about Nathan? He killed people! He assaulted women! He wanted to... to me! Why should you want to hear about the guy who- who tried to hurt your girlfriend?'

'That's...' _What? Am I just a glutton for pain?_ 'I...' _I just... want... to..._ 'I'm not offering to help him! I want to help you. You need help with this.' _Even if I have to talk about that stain._ 'I can't just let you be in pain if I can help.'

The blonde still hadn't turned to Max. Her face is so screwed up in pain it's a blessing there is next to no traffic on the road.

'Victoria, you asked why it won't stop. That's because...' _Because why?_ 'Because this is it. This is life.' _All the power of the universe never stopped the pain._ 'It's brief and chaotic and full of too much bad shit. Sometimes it's so painful you won't want to go on. You just...' _Want to stop everything. Do it over perfectly._ 'You just deal with all the shit around you because you get lucky. Every once in a while you get a moment that makes you realize... It's worth it.' _Chloe's worth it._ 'All the negativity is worth that one little moment in time that is the perfection you've been striving for.'

They had pulled over somewhere around "this is life" without Max noticing. She had closed her own eyes about the same time. Looking to her compatriot, Victoria is wide eyed and converting her mouth.

'You- you really see moments like that? I've never experienced that.' The shine of her cheeks is back. 'I don't have someone in my life like that. Well, I- I almost...'

 _Yup._ _Let us try again._ 'Nathan.'

Staring back at her hands. A nod for confirmation. 'We go way back, you know. Art school for years together. He was always so... edgy. Provocative. Drew me like a moth to his flame.' A rummage through her purse, the pulling a folded page, a thrust into Max's hands. 'This is the first thing he ever did for me.'

The paper stock wasn't much different from construction paper, just firmer. The drawing, for that's what it was, shows a portrait of a young girl. _It's Victoria. Fourteen, maybe younger._ The artist's choice of medium wasn't readily apparent. It seemed much like pencil or charcoal, but that would have never stayed so clear considering the wear the page showed.

_A dried black marker. He purposely used a nearly dead marker so the ink would come out weak._

The most impressive part was the actual approach. In photography terms, Nathan had recreated a photo negative. All that was bright in real life was presented in darkness, and vice-versa. The twinkle in the eyes were dark points in bright corneas. The bruised lips were stained with slashes of light. A hypnotic effect from the not quite solid black background.

_She's beautiful the way E. A. Poe would call Death or Despair his mistress._

'It looks almost exactly like the photo he took it from. Except he said- he said this was how I look from the inside. How I saw myself.' Click, flick, inhale. 'He was right. I hated myself so much at times.' A hand to forestall any arguments. 'I know, teenager, hormones. Adult shit hits with no warning when you just want to go home and watch cartoons. Most of us go through moments like that growing up.'

'But Nathan saw mine and took them away.'

_That's... deeply disturbing. And heartbreaking and beautiful._

'It's like, him knowing my demons made them leave. I had someone who understood me. Nathan kinda saved me.'

 _Dammit. So messed up._ 'And you loved him.'

'I was in love with him. I still am.' A shaken head and the cigarette butt get flicked out the window. 'But he never felt that. To me or to any else. Physicality... upset him. He wasn't a germaphobe. He just can't accept intimacy. Even from his sister. He couldn't accept a hug without protest.'

 _Wow. Just, wow._ 'Victoria, I'm so-'

'No! No pity. No sorry, or help, or "God's plan" or "everything will be alright". I fell in love with my demon slayer. Who was also a demon.' Finally she meets Max's eyes again. 'I understand completely when you say you love Chloe.'

She pulls back out on the road, looking to catch up. Or run away.

Depends on whether there is a _from_ or a _to_ when describing the journey.

Five minutes of silence is all Max can take.

'Vicky- I mean, Victoria. I... don't know what to say. Just. Thank you. For sharing. And trusting me.'

_I cannot believe I'm going to say this too._

'N-nathan was a victim too. He still did some... terrible things. But. But he was a tool for that...'

A sigh and a very mild smile issue from the blonde. 'Thank you. For listening. And what you said.'

_I knew she needed some real interaction today._

'And, uh. What you said before. About perfect moments?' The hesitation is clear. 'I think, Max, that. That's what makes you such a great photographer.'

_Huh? Compliments? And... are we bonding?_

_..._

_Cool._

Lucky for both girls the Price household appears within moments. A waving Kate and an irate Chloe stand on the lawn waiting.

_The house doesn't look too bad. Some missing roofing and shingles. And- the back fence is in the front yard. And the swings are on the neighbor's garage._

_Still, could have been worse._ The bluenette barely waited for the car to stop before starting in on them. 'The hell guys?'

'Sorry Che, the, uh, Guardsmen stopped us for a minute.'

A separate conversation breaks in. 'Oh, Vicky! Why are your eyes so red?'

 _Gotta do..._ 'Oh, as soon as the guy got to the window, Victoria turned the waterworks on. It was masterful. The guy was so embarrassed he just let us go ahead without even asking a question.'

The story satisfies them. _Damn, I'm good._ A nod when no one's looking is all the thanks Max needs from Victoria. With a bit of pomp and ceremony Chloe unlocks the door and ushers everyone in.

'Welcome to Castle Price. Where anarchy and suburbia wage war.'

 _Jeez_ _, look at-_ "Chlo, looks like anarchy is winning.'

The entire back wall of the house is ruined. Previously glass doors and windows were framed by the wall itself. Now not a single square inch of glass remained, instead strewn across the living and dining room like fallen stars. Two metal poles, the ones used for traffic signs, are half skewered through the walls on either side of the door frame, one of which has taken a path putting it through a corner of the fire place that graces the room. Every item once on the wall, photos, frames, pictures, has been forced as far forward as the wind could force it. The fridge looks naked, no papers or magnets attached its surface. The dining table is overturned. Everything is damp if not outright soaked, and covered in a layer of grime.

Chloe is the first to break, a crack in her voice. 'Not quite sure if it's an improvement...'

_No. You do not get to hide from this. We're facing this together._

_In twenty minutes or so._

Max turns to the pair of blondes. 'Kate, the closet should have a broom and dustpan. See if you can... at least get the glass out of the way. Victoria, the garage is right through here. There's tools, and a tarp I think. And the suitcase. I'll be back as soon as Chloe gets some new clothes.'

Max's two new minions are quick to start the cleanup, only slowing to pick their way through the worst of the debris. A gentle prodding at the small of Chloe's back only sends her a step towards the stairs. Only insistent but gentle pressure causes the bluenette to attempt the climb, and even then she nearly trips before her gaze is taken from the destruction of the first floor.

_Don't freeze on me._

It takes the third repetition of her name for Chloe to break from the fugue. The grin Max is greeted with, though, puts to rest most of her growing fears.

'You still with me?'

The taller girl's smile grows wider. 'I'll always be with you, Max.' She squarely faces her room door and only pauses to quip at her girlfriend. 'It's not like my room could get any worse, right?'

The destruction that greets them is... the normal kind. Both windows have minor cracks but neither are in danger of opening to the elements. Otherwise the room is just Chloe-chaos as usual.

'So it looks like your room couldn't get any worse...'

'Hey, that's your girlfriend you're talking to.'

'I know.' Picking up a tossed shirt only to let it drop from her fingers back in the corner. 'I'm coming to the conclusion she might be a slob.'

Gritted teeth flash towards Max. 'When I get hold of you Caulfield...'

_What, you'll bury me in dirty laundry?_

'Okay, first things first. I'm going to change. So, unless you want to help...'

Laughter. Small but welcome. 'Nope, I'm good. I might end up stuck in the castoffs.'

'Fine. then can you, um...' A serious face overtakes the fleeing grin. 'Can you see if they need help down stairs?'

 _Right._ 'Yeah, that's the plan. See if you can find anything clean to wear. And don't forget Joyce and David need some clothes as well. And...'

_What can I say in this situation?_

Max grips the taller girl in the tightest embrace she can muster, just holding her for a moment. 'And take your time, Chloe. Don't rush. We got downstairs for now.'

Max feels the embrace returned as fiercely as it is given. 'I know, Max. I... Thank you.' A kiss alights the crown of the brunette's head. 'How did I get so lucky with you?'

 _As if._ 'Luck had nothing to do with it. We fought hard to be here. And we'll keep fighting.'

The first floor, on the other hand, almost makes Max regret he words. Victoria, in no-nonsense mode, lays out the damage.

'There's no power, still. Everything in the fridge is going bad, do not open it up. I unplugged all the non-essential stuff, just in case of a power surge. The TV looks ruined anyway. And the phones. And the microwave. And we are not getting this gunk off without some heavy-duty scrubbing.'

Kate peeks her head up from behind the couch, sweeping more garbage into the dustpan. 'Most of the glass is done, though.'

The pixie blonde nods. 'Yeah, and the drywall from where the sign posts came through.' She stares at the two-foot sections of metal jutting downward alongside the door frame. 'I am not ruining my nails trying to pull those out.'

_Do Not Enter. Slow Down. Not like they're bad omens or anything._

'Okay then. Did you at least find some tarps?'

'Yeah, airing them out in the backyard.' Victoria eyes Max. 'Do you even know how to swing a hammer?'

 _Seriously?_ 'Yeah, I know which part not to hit my hand with, thanks.'

The trio sets to closings off the house from the elements. Once the tarp is in position, Max and Kate (on a step stool) holding it up, Victoria squares off, implements of construction in hand.

'How's Chloe doing?'

'She was pretty thrown, Kate. I mean, anyone would be, seeing their house all trashed like this.'

'Yeah, I guess...' She looks pensively as the first two nails go in crookedly. 'Vicky, just give me the hammer.'

'But I got it-'

'Did you spend the last two summers working with Habitat for Humanity?'

The next nail goes in straight and true.

'You need to know the right way to hold the hammer. Not just to be strong.'

Max and Victoria share a look.

'What? You two think I can't work?'

Victoria mollifies the other girl. 'It's just, well. You're Kate. I've never heard you raise your voice before, let alone a tool.'

The petite blonde blushes but raises her head. 'Well, I am a woman of many talents, not all of which are known by my appearance.'

A giggle dances across her features as she tries to maintain a haughty and stern expression.

 _Victoria is going to burst a blood vessel._ 'Katie, are you mocking Victoria?'

The threatening giggle bursts forth. A small answer issues. 'maybe'

Max and Victoria share another look. Less doubt, more comedic outrage.

'You started her on this path, Max.'

'Did not. Wait. How?'

'Your hipster disenfranchisement and general screw-the-world attitude.'

'Oh. Okay, I'll take credit.'

Kate's head whips back and forth between the other girls, her smile only growing wider. 'Good. You two are friends now too.'

_Are we? We can be, I think. It'd be easier to get along with Vicky instead of going back to the Cold War stand off._

Victoria speaks directly to Kate. 'No, we are not friends. But... I don't totally hate her anymore.'

 _Two can play at this game._ 'Yeah. In spite of her bitchy exterior Vicky is actually quite a pleasant person.'

'Yes, _Maxine_. Your overly bubbly personality and slick witticisms have worn down my prickly exterior.'

 _Wait, are we fighting now._ 'Well, you got the prick part right-'

'Stop!' Not loud, but insistent. _I'm not sure Kate could be loud on purpose._ 'We are not going backwards. Only forwards. No more fighting, or backbiting, or meanness. Now shake hands.' The expectant look Kate gives the two of them is fit for a mother.

_Fine!_

'Fine. Victoria...' Max thrusts out a hand. 'I'm done. No more hostility, or fighting, or... meanness.'

The returned grip is tight, but not crushingly so.

The tarp falls from the wall, tearing free from the nails.

Twenty minutes later combat boots walk down stairs to see the three girls laughing around the counter.

'Yeah, Chloe is up to her knees in the Bay, seaweed hanging off her shoulders. She's waving something in the air screaming about booty. I thought Joyce was going to have a heart attack.'

'What was it?'

'Some sort of crab or something. The things legs were squirming and it looked like it was going to pinch her.' Max takes a swig of water, before continuing. 'That was the last year we were allowed to be pirates for Halloween.'

The bluenette feels the need to interject. 'Didn't stop us from building our fort next summer.'

'Chloe!' Max runs to her, frantically gripping Chloe's arms in faux fear. 'I have terrible news! Kate made me... friends... with Victoria.' The last word, delivered in a whisper, adds in a childish conspiratorial element.

'Katie, you better not be filling my girlfriend with friendship-is-magic nonsense.'

Kate claps, bouncing in place. 'I love that show! Rarity is my favorite, but Pinkie Pie is...' The looks she receives quickly still her enthusiasm.

Until-

'Rarity _is_ the best.' Everyone wheels on Victoria. 'What, I have younger cousins.'

'You are a woman of hidden depths, Victoria.' Chloe starts rummaging in her pockets. 'Speaking of depths, my pockets are missing a lighter. You got one on you?'

'Yeah, I'll join you.'

 _I hope you quit soon._ 'Hey, you better brush your teeth before we make out later.'

'Yeah, sure.'

'Who said I was talking to you Chloe?'

Turn back, Max sees the petite girl practically vibrating in her seat. 'Something up Kate?'

A piercing whistle interrupts the answer before it can form. 'Tea time!' Two quick cups of steeping tea appear in front of Max.

'So, Max. What... what's it like? You know...' A gesture towards the front door.

'Being with Chlo? Well, aside from the world changing drama, pretty good.'

'No, not... not just that.' The petite girl turns a bright crimson before mumbling her clarification. 'What's it like, you know... kissing?' She immediately buries her face to hide her embarrassment.

_Here's the tea-time gossip I love. And I get to share juicy bits!_

'Well, it's... messy.'

'Wait, what?'

'Half the time we get to, you know, kiss... One of us is usually crying, or just done crying, or about to cry.' Puzzlement falls across Max's face. 'Our relationship is built around tears.'

'Oh, it can't be all bad.'

'No!' _Giving her the wrong idea._ 'Listen, the first time we kissed, for reals, we were in the woods outside of town. Chloe run ran off because we fought about, nothing really. She was worried about Joyce and I was talking about my mom... well, it doesn't matter. I chased after her and found her just, just destroyed. She was heaving from the pain. So here we are, sitting in a forest clearing and I finally calm her down and... and she just looks at me and tells me...' _Oh Dog, its sounds so lame and romantic at the same time._ 'She tells me she doesn't see me as just a friend. She wants more. And she dares me to kiss her...'

Kate is near tears, her face blissfully imagining the scene. 'Oh my gosh, Max. I never would have guessed Chloe was so romantic.'

 _Yeah, you and me both._ 'I just sat there. Not gonna lie, I hesitated. But Chloe is the person who always pushed me. She always dared me to be more. So when she dared me I just... I had to know. I mean, I thought about it, sorta, over the last week.'

Kate interrupts. 'Max, from what you told me... everything you did last week was so that you and Chloe could be together. Like, if I only heard about what you put yourself through last week, I just would assume you were in love. It's fairy tale stuff, what the two of you did.'

'Yeah, well. I wish someone had told me. All I knew is I needed Chloe in my life. I didn't even think it would be... this way.' The wistful look on Max's face elects another giggle from her friend. 'Oh stop.'

'No, you continue.'

'Where-oh, right. So, she dared. And I did it. And I knew, really knew,  _how_ I needed her in my life.'

_Yeah, that was it._

_Forgetting the doe, though._

_Not like it's important to the story._

_Isn't it?_

'Max, what's wrong?'

Steeling herself, Max sours the conversation. 'Not to change subjects so harshly but... there's more weirdness.'

'What-'

'Max! Katie-bug! Look at this shit!'

The intrusion from the front door startles both girls. Rushing over, they see what's going on to cause the stir.

'It just started, like, boiling out of the Bay.'

A wall of fog, starting from the beach and enveloping the town bit by bit. Not like the sort of fog that lays over land only to be burned off by the morning sun. This is more the thick plume from a steam engine, rolling outward at least three stories tall. Thick, a fog machine working overtime in a club. It flows like water around houses, defying gravity as it travels uphill. It has already made major strides inland, even up towards the lighthouse.

A firm grasp is on Max's left shoulder even as her right hand seeks Chloe. Standing there, fantasy firmly slams down on Max's reality.

'Oh, damn. I'm getting so tired of this shit.'


	14. Create a Fable

_*** Monday, Early Afternoon, After the Funeral *** _

_You have to follow the voices back. I can't help you from her._

_..._

_Don't be like that._

_don't wanna_

_I know we don't see eye to eye all the time but you need to wake up._

_no_

_Come on. Stop being so childish. You're supposed to be more mature than this. Dealing with death. Dealing with loss._

_no. you keep making me..._

_I don't make you do anything. I only tell you things. Things you already know._

_i don't like the things_

_You do NOT get a choice. You do NOT get to ignore the world. You do NOT get to pick truth._

_what do i_

_You get to try. That's it, try._

_i'm tired_

_Now get up and TRY HARDER._

Sound filters in poorly through closed doors. Cool and wet touches grace her forehead. Her nose is stuffed, her lips are chapped.

_Not chapped, they would hurt. There's something around my mouth._

Quiet breathing mirrors her own, just out of sync. An intake, a voice. 'Max?'

_That's me. I'm Max._

'Max, are you awake?'

_I'm still. Just. Max..._

More concern infuses.

'Max?'

'I'm awake.'

The voice that issues is a bit burnt. Dry.

_Water_

'Here. Drink. But sit up first.' A straw touches her lips as the world spins and her equilibrium settles on a new down. 'Not too fast. Don't choke.'

More focusing.

'Victoria? How long was..?'

'Three hours. And Kate's going to be back in about fifteen minutes.' A shuffle on the bed next to her. 'She's, uh. She's really pissed.'

Cracking open an eye.

_FUCKING SUN OHMYDOGTHATFUCKING-_

More focusing.

Victoria's face is the first thing to focus in Max's vision. Concern. Fear. A bit of anger.

Tears.

_I- I am so sorry._

'Victoria, I'm-'

'Save it, Max. Just- just fucking save it. Now we need to worry about what's going to happen with Kate. We'll deal with... this later.'

_I've hurt her. Like, I've really, really hurt her._

'So, Katie said she was coming right here after class.' She checks her phone, for the time presumably. 'I was able to keep her from calling any teachers. Or an ambulance. Or anyone else.'

'So, what do you think we should tell her?'

'I've got no idea. This- this is up to you.'

_I don't have any choices._

'In spite of... of everything that happened, I still trust you.'

_No._

'You're still the one who knows... stuff. Your limits. You have insight that. That. I don't know.' The frustration in her voice strangles the conversation..

_No. I can't be trusted. I can't make any changes. I'm_

_You're not done yet._

_I'm useless._

_You still have to fix what you broke._

_I'm weak._

_You have responsibility._

_I'm nothing._

'Vicky, I- I don't think you can trust me. I can't trust me.' Max stares at her hand. 'I don't think I'm really... lucid, anymore.'

Painful fingers dig into her shoulder. A hand grasps her own. Her right hand. The source of her power. And trouble.

_If your hand offend you, cut it off._

'Max, look at me.' Victoria's face dominates. The same emotions. But a new one is there as well. In the eyes. _Concern?_

'Max, you loved someone. And lost her. You gave her up for others. It's okay to feel that pain.'

Deep breath.

'But you can't pull this shit. You have so much power in this.' Punctuation shaking in between them. 'You can hurt people with this. Or help them. You've got nuclear power literally at your finger tips.'

'But-'

'No. More. Fucking. Buts.' The dominate eyes harden and soften in instances. 'No excuses. You have shown how responsible you are. I would never trust anyone else with these powers. Not even myself.'

Timid knocks at the door interrupt anything else Victoria intended. She looks around rapidly, smoothing the non-existent wrinkles on her skirt.

_Why is she acting guilty?_

Hand pausing on the door knob, Victoria turn back to Max. 'I'm following your lead. Just... don't hurt her.'

The opening of the door causes Kate to stumble in. Hand raised, she obviously had been leaning forward. Th embarrassment of the situation seemed to be at war with the situation itself.

_Vicky's right. She is pissed._

'So, uh, Kate? W-what's new?'

_She's going to bite my head off. Literally._

'Oh, you know. Lots of homework. I got a B+ on my practical lab. Oh yeah, and my best friend has this big old secret about something I don't know and would _love_ to hear about.'

'Yeah, I-I don't know-'

Hands on hips, tilted head, stern expression. _It's like she's pretending to be Victoria._ 'I _know_ what you don't know. Like how hurt I've felt. Like how confused I am. And how p-pissed off. So instead of telling me what you _don't_ know, tell me what you _do_.'

The sarcasm in her voice is a physical blow to Max. Not because Kate is never sarcastic. It is that, before, she always used it as a joke or ironically, or on a few occasions to be self-deprecating. The fact she used it to be mean, and to Max no less, has the brunette is a tailspin.

_It doesn't matter that she doesn't know how to act like a bitch. The fact that she's trying..._

_hurts._

'Oh. Oh Katie. I am sorry. Just, I am sorry I hurt you.' Max finds Victoria's eyes. 'Both of you.'

Victoria's frown deepens. On the other hand, Kate softens, sitting next to Max on the bed. 'Please, what's going on?'

 _I'd love to know too._ 'Before we get to that, I need to... apologize right.' _Why is this hard? I was wrong. I know it._ 'Vicky, I'm so sorry. You are right, and I'm getting so tired of that. I hate that I can't do the right thing.'

'Max, you don't need to-'

'Yeah, I do. I told you to kick my ass when you need to. But I shouldn't have put that on you. I should get my own crap together and work it out.' A crack in demeanor, but no tears. Victoria looks closer to sobbing than the brunette. 'You're being way to good of a friend for me to pull crap like this. I need to stop it. But...'

A switch flips on the blonde's face. 'Here we go.'

'BUT I don't know if I can stop it. Definitely not without your help.' Max holds out a hand. 'Please, still help me. I can't promise I won't mess up again. I can promise to keep listening to you.'

A hesitation before trading grips. 'You are still in trouble. God, if I didn't know everything, I'd never talk to you again.'

The handshake goes on for a few elongated seconds. _Her hand is so cold._

The petite blonde sitting next to Max chimes in. 'So, my turn?'

_How far do we go?_

_She's earned a bit of trust. See if you want to push it._

Max shakes her head.

_Since when am I a 'we'?_

_Shh. Later. Deal with what's in front of you._

'Kate, I don't want to lie to you.'

Chagrin filters through the girl's features before she tries to stand. 'If you don't-'

'No! Wait! I'm going to tell you everything. Just, I need to find the right words.'

A stricken expression overlays. 'What? Is it really that bad? I mean, you had no problem telling me you're gay. Not that being gay is bad, I mean. I just must have been really hard. To me, especially. Like, I know we're friends, but I also know some religious people like me won't accept you and that would be terrible but I'd never-'

The hand over Kate's mouth is a welcome reprise. _Vicky, taking control._

The tall blonde holds her hand there for a moment. 'Max, please begin.'

_Easier said._

'Katie, what do you know about time? Like, as something other than in the most abstract way?'

'Um, I don't know? Time flows, from the future to the past. Max, I don't get this.'

_Going about this all wrong._

_Fuck it._

'Kate, I can control time.'

_And now to prove it._

In unison, the two of them say:

'Max, are you crazy? No you-'

'What?'

'How are you-'

'Stop it!'

A single voice repeats. 'STOP IT!'

_Pushed too far._

'This is- this is crazy, Max. A cool trick but- do you seriously want me to believe?'

_Round two._

'Kate, in a moment I asked you why you couldn't believe me. You said, verbatim, "Because only God can control time. He created it, only He could be so great." In that moment I also asked you what I could do to prove it and you said "Nothing" which, I might add, is a bit closed minded. So I also asked you if you trusted me and you said, without hesitation, yes. So, I'll ask you this. Is there enough trust there for you to have a little faith in me?'

'...yes...'

_Good. Fourth times the charm, I hope._

'This is a story from last Tuesday. It's terrible. It's one of two recurring nightmares I'll keep with me forever. Last Tuesday, late afternoon, you died.' _Even Vicky didn't hear all of this._ 'You went up on top of the dorms and... jumped off. I saw- I saw it and I had to save you. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life.' _Keep going._ 'I was able to stop you, though. I rewound it. I stopped time, and walked up those stairs and talked you down.' _I'm reliving it again. '_ I talked to you and you chose to step down from that edge and take my hand.' _Matthew 11:28._ 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.'

'...That's my favorite passage.'

'Yes. And you were so tired and beat down, but you still took my hand.'

'...But that nightmare is so bad...'

'It wasn't a nightmare. It was my last Tuesday. And I was able to f-fix all of last week. But.' The real crux of Max's reasons. 'But you never got help for everything. For what you ended up wanting to do last week.' Eye contact doesn't want to be made, but needs to be. The tears brimming in Max's eyes are mirrored in Kate's. 'I couldn't burden you with this, with everything else. I couldn't put you in danger.'

_And it's true. I never really thought about why I haven't told Kate. Why I confided in Victoria instead. It's because I didn't want to hurt Katie. I can't bear her standing up there again._

_But, don't I care if Vicky gets hurt? Or is it because I think she's strong enough?_

The small blonde breaks the silence of Max's inner monologue.

'I don't think I can-'

'She can prove it.'

Both girls have forgotten there is a third party in the room. Victoria stands by the door, staring off into space. 'She proved it to me, she can prove it to you.'

'How?'

'Well, we need a pen and paper...'

Five objective minutes later and Kate is flitting around the room like a hummingbird. 'Like, okay, you can do some time travel stuff. Like, you rewind it? And you can stop it. Like in my room earlier. I mean, it makes sense now. Well, like, it makes no sense whatsoever but, anyway. I mean, you didn't even write what I wrote but you knew it, obviously, before I opened the door.' Finally, the steam seems to run out and she plops down next to Max again.

This time, a very different mixture of emotions.

'Tell. Me. Everything.'

_Not again._

'I-I can't.' The old conflicts begin to mar Kate's expression. 'No, not because I won't or don't want you to know. I just can't tell this story again.' Wrapped arms around knees, down face. 'It just... keeps hurting too much.'

Further arms embrace Max, and she leans into it. 'Don't worry Max. I'll help you.'

_She is such a saint._

'Just tell me what you can.'

'I got it.'

_Thanks Victoria._

'So, the short story is that Friday a storm was coming to destroy Arcadia Bay. But Max went back in time to Monday to fix it. And with the new weirdness in the Bay, Max is working with me and Warren to try to stop a similar event.'

_Wow, next time you can just throw a grenade in the school yard. It'd be less blunt._

'Oh...'

Victoria continues. _Thank Dog._ 'There is a whole lot more than that, but the gist is that Max had a prophetic dream about the end of the Bay and had to...'

_Why's she stopping?_

_i can't_

_i can't_

'She had to let Chloe die or let this storm come and demolish the town.' _Why is Vicky the one crying now?_ 'God, I don't know how you did it. I could never choose.'

_She has got to stop before-_

The unbidden, unwanted tears glide along Max's face, tickling her nose and dripping onto her clenched hands.

Small, soft hands overlay on to her tension.

'Max, if this is true... No. It's true. I've seen what you can do... Max, how can you...' One of those soft hands draws upward, taking a chin with it.

Kate's eyes mirror everything Max has felt over the last week, the last five years.

Pain. First the pain. It comes from the tears spilled and held back. The pain of losing love and trying to fill that void. The pain of isolation, loneliness, forever being apart from people because of differences.

Then anger, from the creases around the eyes and angles in the brow. Anger at the world, at society. At those who should reciprocate kindness shown but instead misbehave and hate others. Who revel in being powerful over the weak, instead of raising the weak upward.

And love. Love that can't be located in any specific point of a face. Love that has no simple expression or explanation. You cannot project love without living it and, in spite of the state of her world, Kate has lived in that love. For others and herself.

An instant of contact but a lifetime of conversations, friendship, support. Talking through their eyes.

'Max.' The words seem to form in slow motion, though it has nothing to do with powers.

'How can I help?'

Hour later and Kate is caught up. Victoria does most of the talking, with Max only interjecting to clarify or correct. General information is used for the bulk of the week that never was, with a bit of glossing over what happened Tuesday afternoon. Or in the Dark Room.

Kate doesn't press the subjects. Instead, she does offer some insight.

'You don't have two different powers, you have three.'

Her audience is confused.

Pointer. 'You can rewind time.' Middle finger. 'You can jump through pictures.' Ring finger. 'You can see the future.'

'Well, that's just... like, the picture but reverse...'

A shaking head. 'No. nothing like that. You have to be unconscious. It doesn't stop time like picture hopping. And, it isn't set in stone.' A smirk plays across her face. 'You can change the future.'

A sharp intake between gritted teeth prompts Victoria entering the discussion. 'You think Warren...'

Kate's as enthusiastic as a bobble head. 'Yup, he flat-out wrong.'

_What?!_

'Okay, explain. Because you're getting my hopes way too high right now.'

A flush on her face, Kate continues. 'You saw the future, you changed it. And, according to Warren, you only could see the future if Arcadia Bay was fated to have that storm.'

_Yeah, I guess._

'But the came _before_ you screwed up time. It wasn't fated until you made this... multiverse mess.' The petite blonde's hands gesticulate wildly, conveying a snarl of confusion. 'Which means the _fate_ of the world was supposed to be that you screwed with time. You were meant to mess up the bathroom. To s-save Chloe. But that makes no sense. How could your power warn you of something that couldn't have been fated yet? So something else has to be true.'

Hope, like most emotions, is one of those words completely inadequate to fully encapsulate it's own meaning.

'S-so I didn't screw up?'

'I'm not sure you did.'

Pensive.

'Maybe I was right earlier.'

Almost perfectly in sync.

'What?'

'Maybe the visions aren't mine. Maybe they are someone else sending them to me.'

Victoria's two cents. 'That's... okay, everything is crazy, that's no crazier than normal.'

'So maybe I'm being pushed by someone with these visions. Maybe a couple of someones.'

Kate's turn. 'What makes you think there's more than one?'

_Okay, now is the time to finish coming clean._

_You sure about this? Talking about us?_

_Considering every other thing that's been going on, this is the least insane path to take._

'I've been arguing with... myself. The little voices in my head, you know. You get happy, one part of you is in ecstasy. The other part might be waiting for the shoe to drop. Or you get depressed and part of you feels like you deserve it. The other part has hope things will be better. The usual crap.'

_Except..._

_Except you have finally figured out "we" and "you" and "I" are not just the same person._

_What are you?_

_You will figure that out when you are meant to._

_Are you, uh, me?_

_No._

_So you are someone else?_

_No._

_THEN WHAT ARE YOU?_

_Not yet._

'Max?'

Interrupted inner monologue. Like someone else is in control of her body, letting her sit and contemplate while the world marches on. Max stops and time moves on.

'I've begun to suspect that not all these voices are my own.'

Well, _that's_ not an awkward statement.

'Oh my dog, I'm not crazy. Or I guess I am but I recognize it now.'

'It's like what? Are you a-a prophet or something?'

_AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!_

_Shut it. She's working in her own frame of reference._

'No, I'm not talking to God. It's different. It sounds like me. It's my own thoughts, but made bare.'

_You are not good at this._

Another approach.

'You know about the whole ego and id thing psychologists talk about? Never mind, I always get those two confused. So, let's say I'm conscious. I think a conscious thought. But half way through, a memory pops up and I think about that, and _that_ changes how I was already thinking about the first thing.'

_Yeah, so not good._

'Okay, example. I see a stray cat. I remember I like kittens, how fluffy, etcetera. But, while I'm looking at this cat, all ready to pet it, my subconscious butts in and reminds me of the times a cat scratched me, and rabies, and a million other negative things. So, now, I don't see a cute little kitten, I see something dangerous.'

'Except my subconscious is straight-up talking to me.'

_Nope, still not right._

_But I'm not fully wrong anymore._

_...Maybe._

Questions are raised.

'But how do you get from that to some fucking with you, sending you visions?'

'Because there's more to it. It isn't just a voice. It listens. I can make it stop. And not everything it says is what I would think.'

_That is just blatantly wrong._

'And it doesn't always talk like I think. Or how I would feel.'

_..._

_Okay, got us there._

'It can be so negative, when I'm feeling great. Or it eggs me on when I'm at a low point. Or it helps me figure out what to do when I'm confused.'

_..._

'And it uses plurals.'

_...damn..._

'And I'm beginning to suspect what it really is.'

Pause.

Still pausing.

_What, nothing to say? I'm right, aren't I? I know what you are. And that little nugget of thought my subconscious has always known is what you are._

'Dammit, Max. What is it?'

_Last chance to come clean._

'Hang on, I'm waiting for a response.'

Victoria is about to claw out eyes. Kate is stricken with worry.

 _Fine._ 'Fine. It's me. Or rather, "me"s, from the future.'

Victoria doesn't break the silence. She straight up drives a semi through it.

'WHAT THE FUCK?'

'Vicky, language.'

'Sorry Kate, but I stand behind my previous statement.'

The petite girl frowns, but accepts. 'She's right, Max. That makes...' Dawning. 'That makes complete sense.'

A little bit of triumph colors Max's expression. 'Yes! If I can travel back in time...'

'...You can already send your body, just by rewinding. And your mind, with the photos...'

'Why can't I just send back thoughts? Or memories?'

'But why would you send back such negative thoughts?'

'Because there's more than one me in the future. And they, or rather we, or "me"s? Whatever. There are multiple Max's in the future, and I took different paths to get there. I want different things depending on different choices I made.'

They get it.

_I hope._

_We do too._

And Victoria gives words to her fear.

'But, that means you can't trust... you.'

_Shit._

_Yeah._


	15. Wool

**_* Monday_ ** **_, Just Before Dinner Time, After the Storm *_ **

'It's so odd. I can see perfectly like twenty feet, and then there is just a wall of fog.' Victoria take a few swipes in the air in front of her face. 'It doesn't fade in and out like fog is supposed to do.'

Chloe, on her phone with her mother, explaining that they wouldn't be coming back to the hospital until the fog lifted. 'Yeah Mom, the house is still standing... your kitchen is pretty trashed... running water, check... I got the candles out... but, we... we... Mom! Yes, we have food, we grabbed a bunch of stuff from tent city...'

Kate and Max, making no noise but maintaining eye contact, trying to communicate whole paragraphs without speaking.

'What kind of fog is this?' Victoria's wandering takes her to the edge of the driveway. 'I feel like I'm in a soap bubble.'

Chloe's conversation turns quieter, and Max cannot help but snoop. Hissed through teeth, the words are barely perceptible. 'Yeah, we might spend the night... _Mom!_ Why would I need condoms!... I can't believe you said that in front of David and Ryan... What do you mean, Ryan put you up to it?... Mom, are you stoned?'

In spite of the gravity of the situation, Max can't contain her laughter. Wheeling, the bluenette points a dangerous finger at her. 'Do not start right now.'

_Oh, I am so glad I told her to call our parents._

Closing the phone, a bit more forcefully than necessary, Chloe turns to the rest. 'Okay, let's go kids. It's already getting dark and we ain't driving anywhere.'

Snapping out of her fugue Victoria pulls a haughty expression. 'You expect me to stay the night here?'

'Victoria, I know this is no Ritz-Carlton but I got two great reason why. First, I assume you'd rather stay in a real house instead of the elementary school gym.'

The pixie blonde turns a bit pink, hard to detect in the failing light. '...Junior high.'

'Yeah, thought so. And second, I'd have to be hella crazy to let you drive out in this crap.'

_Chloe's_ _getting maternal._

_Look at her go._

_I know!_

_..._

_What. The. Fuck?_

_Shush. We'll talk after the last piece is in place._

'Max? What's up with you?'

All three girls are staring at her. It takes Max a moment to realize she's on her knees in the muddy lawn, tearing up fistfuls of the soggy grass.

A soothing dark blue head bobs next to her, worried eyes looking for injury. 'Babe, what's wrong? Was it a, you know?'

Hastily she stands, trying to subtly position Chloe between her and the others. 'No, it's just- a headache. Really bad. I need- I need to sit down.'

Chloe doesn't buy it for a second.

'All right, everyone grab your shit and get inside. Come on up to my room, first door on the right.'

Two hands grip Max's arms and frog-march her back through the front door and up the stairs without pause. A kick to the door and she is forced to sit on the bed. Soft candlelight spills from the window ledges, evidence that Chloe thought ahead. _Yet there is still a bare mattress._

'Spill it, Maximum, before they get up here. What the hell was that?'

Confusion and pain is all the shorter girl can convey. 'I don't know. I think something- no, someone talked to me. Like, in my head.'

Eyes search the older girl, looking for... something. _Tell me I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy!_ But all they find is the same familiar worry that has been displayed too often on those features.

'Max, that's, uh, some hella deep shit. Like, someone's clairvoyant?'

Before a reply is made, footsteps on the stairs announce the arrival of guests. Frantically Chloe tries to stuff as much of her dirty, and probably not dirty, laundry into the basket she grabbed from the closet. _Really, I come over and you don't even bother to put sheets on the bed._

_..._

_Why am I worrying about the trivial?_

Surprisingly, Victoria enters with next to nothing, a small suitcase and single shoe-box. Kate, on the other hand, has half a dozen full grocery bags.

'Katie-bear, you planning on moving in?'

The petite girl looks around bashfully. 'No, I-I just don't know what's in my bags. And I need to bring Alice upstairs. It'll be too drafty for her down in the living room...'

The bluenette releases a squeal completely out-of-character. 'I'm going to pet the crap out of her. Can I feed her carrots? I wanna feed her carrots.'

Kate purses her lips and breaks the bad news. 'You can only feed her a few carrots. They are very sugary and are only for special occasions.'

The pout displayed at this response has Kate almost backpedaling. 'M-max, your girlfriend's being weird.'

Max grabs the bluenette's arm, tugging it to pull her back to the bed. 'Chlo, we talked about this. You gotta stay at a six.' Turning. 'Kate, get Alice before she starts foaming.'

Victoria, in the meanwhile, has been taking over the desk, setting up a work area of some sort. Turning, she takes hold of the conversation. Or tries to, at least. 'So girls, what are we going to do to pass the time?'

Chloe scratches one arm, thinking hard. 'Monopoly, Scrabble, maybe Trouble. Board games, smoking weed, and watching movies is just about the only stuff to do at the Price household.'

Victoria pauses, looking over at the older girl. 'Hey Chloe, you holding?'

'Uh, yeah.' Both girls turn to Max, a bit of trepidation on their faces.

 _How should I-_ 'Uh, don't let me stop you.' _Well, at least Chloe asked._ 'I mean, I'm not, you know, against it or anything.'

Chloe still has a look of pain on her face. 'Yeah. Let me rustle up some green, Victoria. Here.' The bluenette's phone sails at a surprised Victoria. ''Try your parents again. They haven't called back.'

Alone again, Chloe sits next to Max, somewhat sheepish, unable to do more that stare side-eyed at her girlfriend. 'Are you sure it's okay for me to toke up?'

 _Yeah._ 'Yeah. I'm not gonna go psycho on you for relaxing and having fun.' _I know I need to relax._

_You really do._

_SHUT. UP._

'Max, what about, you know, the new crap? I want to talk about it, if you're up for it.' The embarrassment of the situation hits her hard. 'I just don't want to leave you hanging if you need me serious. I don't... I can't flake out on you.'

 _Oh, you're really trying so hard Chlo._ 'Don't worry! I love you, I'm not going to try and change you or put restrictions on you.' A small kiss cements the statement. 'Not overnight, anyway.'

A grin splits after another brief embrace. 'Watch it, Caulfield.' Searching one of her drawers, sheets and blankets are thrown at the brunette. 'I'm still not making my bed.' She leaves, grabbing her tin of paraphernalia, almost bumping into Kate and Alice. A moment of coo-ing ensues before Chloe pulls a promise from the younger girl that only Auntie Chlo can spoil Alice with carrots.

Door closed, bunny petted, and two weary friends relaxing on a freshly made bed.

'So, they're off smoking the marijuana?'

'Yeah.' A snort. 'Chlo was so worried I'd freak out on her for it.'

Kate picks up the rabbit on her chest, bringing Alice forward to nuzzle noses. 'Well, she probably is freaking out.'

'But why? She's, like, my best friend. I love you Katie, but she's like the best friend I could ever had.' Max props up on one elbow, turning to give their furry friend scratches between her long ears. 'And I know she's had it hard. I sure didn't help with that. But we've... grown. We mended all those fences.'

Kate pecks Alice once before getting up and placing her back in the cage. Retaking the bed cross-legged, she peers down, giggling lightly. 'Max, I've never been in any romantic relationship and even I know.'

_She's about to one-up me, I know it._

'Chloe has made the transition from best friend to girlfriend. She's in full new-relationship mode.'

'So?'

A sign escapes, between the giggles. 'So she wants to impress you. She wants to show you she cares. Like, before, when something happened that upset you, when you were a kid, what did she do?'

 _Never let me live it down._ 'Tease me. Or laugh at if, if it wasn't serious. If something really bad happened, she'd, well, she'd go after whatever did it. Got into a few school fights because of bullies when we were both in grade school.'

'And now?'

 _Chlo has changed. But..._ 'Well, now, things are much more serious. I mean, she still teases me. But the serious stuff... she helps first. Checks up on me. Makes sure I'm okay. Then she'll burn down a forest.'

_She's my safe space. She's my shelter._

'Sounds like she made herself more like you, Max.'

_What? Why would she want to be like me?_

'But I'm just a quiet introvert with too much time to think.'

Kate strokes the brunette's head. 'What's wrong with that?'

'Not like that, Kate. You and I, we like calm. We like quiet. We think things to death before acting. I am pretty sure you also hate being the center of attention.' _But Chloe?_ 'Chloe is brash and loud and confident. She acts. Maybe she could think things through better, but I wish I had a quarter of the strength she does.'

The blonde pulls a theatrically thoughtful pose, hand on chin and eyebrows worried. 'So, what you're saying is that you are allowed to become more like Chloe but she must remain in a fixed state?'

 _Oh no you don't._ 'Don't be shrinking me, doctor Marsh.'

'Hey, I've got some recent experience.'

_Whoops._

Both girls stop a moment, the honesty entering an awkward area.

'You okay to talk about it Kate?'

'Not- not yet. I, uh, want to. But it's pretty messed up-' A gesture towards her temple. '-in here right now.'

 _Don't break my heart right now._ 'Okay, but you know-'

'-You're here for me.'

'Damn straight.'

They both let the conversation breath a bit.

'Thanks, Kate. That helped.' Max sits up, supporting herself with her arms. 'I'm not sure how, but I feel better.'

'It's just my turn to make you better.'

 _Wait, she doesn't think she owes me or anything?_ 'Katie, You don't have to feel obligated or anything.'

A peel of laughter. 'Good grief, Max. It's just good for me to help you when I can.' The happiness drains from her face. 'Because, you know, o-of the time stuff.'

The conversation hiccups.

_And back to the suckage._

_Doesn't have to suck._

_Dammit, who are YOU?_

_Don't worry, you just figured it out._ _Come clean here and you'll figure it out again._

_What has to "come clean"?_

_You even imagine quotes. So hipster._

_I don't even know what's going on in the Bay. Whirlpools, fog, explosions. Now the voices in my head are talking back._

But that's the point that sticks out for Max. It wasn't conversations in her head. The voices didn't come _from_ somewhere else. They were Max. She's sure of it. It was too natural, the way the thoughts formed, the way they felt like they were apart of her. Even unbidden. Even unconscious.

_Are you my... subconscious?_

_No._

_But, that makes the most, um, sense. Like, you're my id made large. My subconscious with a voice._

_Nope._

_You are frustrating._

_Get back to Kate, you're almost there._

The blonde, lost in her own thoughts, stares at her pet.

'Kate, I gotta talk to you about the weird.'

Rapt attention. 'OH! Oh, gosh, what's wrong? More visions?'

Shaking a negative. 'Not that. Chloe and I found a picture in my room, earlier. It was the one... the one I used to go back and try to save William.'

'Wait, you said you burned it, because of the temptation.'

'Yeah. I did.'

Implication abound.

'Then where did it come from?'

 _Don't freak. It won't help._ 'No fucking clue.' _Shit, stop cursing._ 'It just appeared. It was on my picture wall in my room.'

Worry, no, outright fear, drains Kate of what little color her face has in the candlelight. 'Then... did someone else put it there?'

_Well, that's a chilling thought._

_Wasn't us._

_Fuck. Off._

'N-no Kate. Oh my dog, that's not something I want to think about.'

'But it would make sense. I-if someone else has p-powers...'

_Shit, we're in a freak-out feedback loop._

_Break it._

'S-so what.' _Why don't I sound sincere?_ 'If it is someone else, just means I have someone to f-fight.'

_G-good job-b-b-b-b!_

_Oh, I said to. FUCK. OFF._

And the foreign-native thoughts were gone.

_Huh?_

Drip.

_I can fight it!_

'Max! Your nose is bloody!'

'Crap! Kate, if Chloe gets back, don't tell her!' Max rushes to the bathroom to stem the blood.

More candles. _Citronella? At least we wont have mosquitoes._ The light is not easy to work by but it gets the job done. _Five minutes and I look almost presentable. So..._

_Hello?_

_..._

_Anyone there?_

_..._

_Guess it's really gone. Or them. Or what-the-fuck-ever._

A few calming breaths and a few splashes of cold water clear up most of the distress, physical and emotional. But Max doesn't want to leave the bathroom.

_What is it? What is the voice? And how did i stop it? My power? But, it's not like I rewound or anything._

Sounds on the stairs. Chloe and Victoria are back.

_And giggling. Damn, Chloe is going to freak! And Kate is probably already freaking. And Vicky is going to-_

_tell them_

_What! You're back!_

_you have to tell them_

_Fuck you! Why? Why come back?_

_if you don't tell them we die_

The thoughts fade.

_I felt it leave. Can I tell when they arrive?_

But something nags.

The final use of "we". There's something in that word. It's use wasn't for the not-subconscious voices. It meant Max. She knew it, no idea how, but Max knew that "we" included herself.

"We" die.

She exits the bathroom, taking a few short steps.

Three people sitting on the floor, laughing. Three different worlds, three different representations of Millennials. With Max possibly a fourth. _Disenfranchised social deviant. Silent bullied wallflower. Over-analyzed Facebook commentary. And me, the do-nothing hipster nerd. Almost as jaded as Chloe, quiet as Kate, under the same microscope as Victoria._

_It's easy to label us._

Chloe beckons Max in, patting next to her. Instead, the small girl uses a foot to move Chloe back a few inch. Planting herself in the recently vacated section of floor, Max reclines into her girlfriend. Bony but safe, warm arms wrap around her torso. A nose nuzzles the side of her neck. The discussion, about cartoons of all things, continues unabated.

_Chloe isn't that deviant. She is just the enthusiasm of youth_ _trying to combat the harshness of reality._

Kate tries to keep a straight face, in spite of Victoria's explanation about how Invader Zim is the greatest cartoon of all time.

_Kate is just pensive. She knows what and when to speak, instead of just filling the world up with noise. Vicky is much more developed than the hashtags and emoticons she uses as a wall around herself._

_And what am I?_

Max's pillow shake from laughter.

_I know I don't "do nothing". But the biggest event of my life was from my own mistakes. I'm too nerdy to be hipster and to hip to be nerdy._

_I'm a societal cereal outsider._

Gangly arms squeeze tighter.

_But at least I belong her._

'Max, wake up.'

'Sorry, wasn't sleeping. Just... thinking.'

'Well think out loud, I'm getting winded talking.'

'That's because you abuse your lung with constant smoke inhalation.'

'Max, make Vicky stop poking me and singing "Katie Cotton-Tail".'

'Victoria, stop poking her. Kate, bite her if she doesn't stop.'

A lull in the chaos sits comfortably.

Chloe, master motor mouth, breaks it. 'So what now kids?'

Kate raises a hand.

'You're not in class.'

'Um, you got games, you said? How about something to pass the time?'

Chloe leaps on the idea. 'Oh, how about a Ouija session?'

Max squirms in place to look the older girl straight on. 'Chlo, no more weird right now.'

A bit sheepish, a bit hurt. 'Oh, you're right. Sorry.'

The awkwardness of the exchange doesn't pass by Victoria, in spite of her state. 'You two fighting?'

'Why would you say that?'

'Because that got way intense there. Like, not the sexy look into eyes and sigh kind.'

 _Backpedal_ _, fast!_ 'No! We just- I got issues with the supernatural stuff.'

The pixie blonde shakes her head. 'What, a witch put a curse on you?'

'Feels like it, sometimes.'

Unrelenting, Victoria pursues. 'Don't be so dramatic. I _know_ drama, and I also know spooky. The first isn't worth it and the second isn't real.'

Kate butts in. _Trying to derail this train._ 'What do you mean "spooky"? You like horror movies or something?'

Properly refocused, the blonde takes back over as center of attention. 'A bit, but I love the old classic literature. Lovecraft, Poe, Stoker.' She clears her throat and recites. 'And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, and the lamp-light over him streaming, throws his shadow on the floor. And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor shall be lifted nevermore.'

'The oldest and strongest emotion of man is fear, and the oldest and strongest fear is the fear of the unknown.' Three pairs of wide eyes focus on Kate. 'Uh, I thought Lovecraft was something else when I first picked him up.'

 _I have got to get her some Palahniuk. But not Snuff. Or Haunted. Or Choke._ 'You know, just when you think you know someone...' _Yeah, you **should** look embarrassed. Never told me you read stuff like Lovecraft..._

'D-don't look at me like that. He was a very, uh, interesting writer.' She comes back to the previous point. 'But, yeah, I'm with Max. No more talk about the weird.'

Victoria snorts into the shopping bag she holds, looking for some of the pilfered snacks they had secured from downstairs. 'Then what's there to talk about? The newest weird is why my Mom can't get me.'

 _Thank dog she got her mom._ 'Wait, why can't she get you?'

'Well, let's see. Freak tornado, water spout, solar eclipse, wall of fog, double moons. The governor made Arcadia Bay a no-fly zone for incoming travel. There's even talk about 'incentive-driven evacuation", which is just them making us bus out of county.'

_Made to leave the Bay? Would that be... bad?_

'If they try something, probably Friday or Saturday we'll have a line of buses flowing through town to get everyone out. Good thing, too. This place is going full Armageddon. Whole place is getting ready to burn down.'

'You make it sound so romantic, Chase. I mean, it's not like some of us have nowhere to go.'

_Easy Chlo._

'Hey, I love it here too! But we're on day eight of nature just not giving a fuck. And there's a time-bomb sitting in the middle of the bay. What if the next thing is a flood?'

 _Time to dial this back._ 'Victoria, I think you're over exaggerating a bit.'

Hands are thrown up in the air, spilling fun-size candy and pop-tarts to the floor. 'You too Max? Seriously? Are you guys trying to hide your heads in the sand?' She turns to their quiet companion. 'Katie, please tell me you aren't drinking this Cool-aide too?'

Kate turns, and pleads. 'Max...'

_Why is she looking at me?!_ _Fine!_

'No, seriously! We all know something's coming, again! Why should we all wait around for the next thing to come get us?' Victoria is bewildered at the reactions of the others. 'Why can't you talk about it? Is the world going to end because of a few words?'

 _Wow, she's getting really worked up._ 'Vicky, just hang on a minute-'

'No, _Max_. There's obviously shit going down. We should be worried. We should be getting out of county ASAP. We got to do something to save ourselves.'

Pause.

'Why the hell do you guys look like you've seen a ghost?' Her frustration mounting, Victoria lets out a quiet but shrill sound. 'There is something going on here and no one is talking. Max, you've been acting weird all day. All week, before all this stuff happened.' An accusatory finger jabs in Max's direction. 'Even before K- before Tuesday. And the Jeffershit. You've been acting... not just nice. Straight up odd. Outspoken. Damn, we talked more today than the entirety of us knowing each other.'

'Are you for reals? You're upset I'm _friendly_ to you?'

'No, and you know that's not it!' Victoria cannot take much more. 'Okay, let's lay out the facts.'

'First, Monday. You show up in the bathroom, like magic, and witness Chloe and N-nathan fighting.'

'Tuesday, you get... up on the roof. When I know for a fact you arrived after me, you were up there with Kate way before anyone should have been there.'

'Every time we've talked in the past week, it's... it's like you're reading my mind.'

'You knew Nathan had a gun. Yet didn't say anything.'

'You _knew_ Kate was in trouble before anyone else. Before anyone suspected.'

'You go missing for like three days but in that time Nathan is arrested, Jeffershit arrested, R-rachel found.'

"I heard about you hanging out with Frank. He doesn't just deal with you Chloe. And I know you pulled a freaking gun on him.'

'And you got _that_ sticking out of your closet.'

The accompanying gesture is towards a piece of cardboard just peeking out from the door. Pieces of paper and photos are obviously connected to it. Looking close, some would be able to tell the photos look like surveillance, the papers look like bookkeeping.

_I thought we took that apart._

'You want me to believe it's all coincidence. You know something, Max. You're lying about something.'

_Damn._

_we want you to tell them_

_Victoria?_

_last chance_

'Victoria, let me ask you something.' All the laughter is gone. The jovial pulse from a few minutes ago has stopped beating. 'If you... knew the Storm was coming last Friday, what would you do?'

'Well, I'd warn people. I'd tell them...'

'Yeah, what would you tell them? A tornado is coming to wipe out their homes? You saw the future and are prophesying doom. How many people would believe you?'

The girls all fall very still.

'So, no, you wouldn't tell them. You couldn't tell them. No one takes that serious. So, what's next? You going to do something worse to fight? Call in a bomb scare, the government? What can you do?'

'Y-you can... can fight?'

_She's trembling from fear._

'Fight a storm? How?'

'I-I don't know.'

_She should be scared._

'Okay, then, you can't fight, and you can't help. All you can do is run.'

Not a question.

'But... but let's say you can fight. You can fight a storm. You can fight nature. Forget about how. What-' And the weight of the words floor the blonde girl- 'are you willing to sacrifice?'

'W-what do you mean?'

'You'll be getting power. Think about it. Knowledge is power, the ability to defy nature is definitely power. When is power free?'

Max leans across the circle, on her knees. She grabs Victoria's hands, forcing undivided attention.

'Getting power hurts. Are you willing to hurt? Are you will for other's to hurt? Even if... if you can do good, are you willing for bad things to happen?'

Victoria tries to pull away. Her still-bloodshot eyes are wide. 'Max, you're scaring me.'

'Maybe you can save people. But you get hurt, really badly hurt. Maybe you die. Or a stranger dies. Or dozens. Or- or your mom. Or cousins. Or your best friend.'

A near silent, plaintive call of Max's name comes from behind her, but her focus is too much.

'Maybe it's really bad, where you have to choose between someone you love and a bunch of people you don't. You don't even know them. They're faceless people in a crowd. Who are they to you? But you got to look in the eye of the person you love the most and say-'

Max turns around, unable to continue. She curls up like a child in Chloe's lap, sobbing.

The weight of the world hasn't left her shoulders since last Monday.

Those shoulders are starting to sag.

Victoria, also crying, also beaten down. 'M-max, why would you say that? That's... that's so horrible. Who would be put in that situation?'

Catching her breath, Max wipes away the tears and tries to speak. Nothing issues at first but, eventually, she is able to turn to speak.

'Is there anyone you can look at and say "I value you more than others"? Someone you just cannot let leave. Someone who pleads with you to let her go so that no one will get hurt, but you still can't do it? Do you know the number of people you're willing to let die so that she's okay?'

'I do.'

'Four hundred and thirty one people. That's how many I'm willing to sacrifice. That's how much Chloe means to me.'


	16. The Lies We Tell Ourselves

_*** Monday, After Dinner, After the Funeral *** _

'Max, why didn't you eat? You had what, soda and coffee all day?'

'I'm not hungry, Kate. I just...'

'Don't worry. I'll, uh, just grab something to snack on later.'

'Kate, I don't need you to mother me.'

'It's okay. I know you don't feel-'

'JUST STOP IT!'

The outburst echos through the parking lot as she walks through. The reverberation causes hearts to skip.

_And now they're scared of me._

Looking behind where her companions stand, that thought is only mostly true. Kate looks fearful, and Warren is definitely uneasy. But Victoria? Angry. _Why is she angry? I'm the one who should be pissed._ Glare for glare, the blonde doesn't give the brunette an inch. _She probably wants me to apologize._ _Fuck. That._ Still, something in Max wilts as they both refuse to blink. Warren, sensing an oncoming confrontation, throws in the towel.

'I'm headed to the library. Gonna do my homework before they close. Maybe see if there's anything on Wikipedia or...'

'Yeah, go do that. See if anyone recently discovered a temporal communication system.'

The look on his face is significantly more pained than just a moment ago and contains an element of the rage emanating from Victoria. _Dammit! Great! Now even Warren doesn't want to be around me._ As he turns, headed right back to the building the four just vacated, he's stopped.

'Hang on. Katie, why don't you help him out?'

The smaller girl is on a roller-coaster, flipping between anger, fear, and tears. After a minute she settles on a cool indifference. Without taking her eyes from Max, she answers. 'Yeah, okay Vicky. I'll catch you later.' Forcefully grabbing Warren's hand, she marches right through an emerging Taylor and Courtney, running their own conversation over.

The abrupt intrusion has the two of them looking around. Taylor gestures to Victoria and sets off across the lot to catch up, Courtney in tow.

Victoria takes no notice. 'What the fuck is your deal Max?'

'Oh, what, you want to start? Fine, let's go. What do you want to kick my ass about now?'

'Damn it! It's not like that. You're acting like a bitch!'

'You should know, Vicky! Do this, don't do that. I am hella tired of all the shit you've been giving me.'

'Fine! You know what? I don't-'

'Victoria, what's wrong?' Instantly, two more faces appear around them. Taylor has a devilish look on her face, eyeing up Max like she's looking for the best way to pounce on her. Courtney, the more worried of the two, is still addressing her friend. 'What's going on? Is the bride of Hipster-stein bothering you?'

'Don't worry Court, Max and I just need to discuss something.'

 _Frigging gossip hoarders. So don't have the time._ 'Don't worry, I'm done here.'

Two sets of daggers hone in on the back of Max's head as she leaves. But a third calls after her. 'Max, wait. I'm not done.'

'Don't bother. She's suck a super-bitch. Must be-'

'Taylor, stop! I don't have time for the bullshit right now!'

The yell gives a pause in Max's retreat. _Why the hell is she acting this way to her friends? I'm who she's mad at._

'Right now I cannot handle the two of you. I have something really important to discuss with Max.'

_What the hell? Just leave me alone!_

Quickly coming back, Max stands right up in Victoria's face and practically yells again. 'What, Vicky? Why won't you leave me alone?'

Giving as good as she gets, the taller blonde screams right back at her. 'Because I'm goddamn tired of all this woe-is-me self destructive bullshit! And I'm tired of helping you with it! And I'm tired of **wanting** to help you with it! But I'm going to keep doing it because-' She clasps her hand to her mouth, halting the tirade.

 _What?! You don't get to stop!_ 'Because why, Victoria? WHY DO YOU WANT TO HELP?'

'I DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYMORE!' The tears are from anger or frustration, maybe both, and even Victoria doesn't know whom cause them. 'I DON'T WANT YOU TO HURT ANYMORE! GODDAMN WHOLE WORLD ON YOUR SHOULDERS AND I'M TRYING TO HELP WITH THAT!'

 _OhmydogIcannotbelievesheispullingthis-_ 'Fine! Let's try this again!' Stretching her arm out, Max shoves her hand a hair's breathe from Victoria's face and closes her eyes.

_Keep your cool, just keep your cool. Keep your-_

'Is the bride of Hipster-stein bothering you?'

'Don't worry Court, Max and I just need to discuss something.'

 _Just keep cool, don't bite off their harpy heads._ Gritted teeth put a damper on the calm voice Max summons. 'Sorry, Courtney. I just- I need Victoria to talk to me about something.'

'What, finally expanding beyond t-shirts?'

_Just. Keep. Your. Cool._

'No. I have a personal problem. Victoria is working me through it.'

Both girls look to their ringleader for confirmation. _Yeah, that's right. You're not as close to Vicky as you think._

'For reals, Victoria?'

The blonde has a curious look on her face. _Confusion, sure. And she's still pissed. But what else?_

'Yeah, Tay-tay. I'm sure. I'll, uh, I'll text you tonight for the homework.'

With some "kay"s and much hesitation the girls slowly walk away from the squared-off pair, taking the last gasps of daylight with them.

True darkness falls, only fought off by the overhead street lights, before the silence is broken.

'So, Victoria. What? What do you need now?'

'You don't get it?'

'Get what now? What, in your infinite wisdom, am I _not getting_ now?'

'Really. The way you act. The shit all day. And you're wondering what I'm talking about?'

'Yeah, so what? I'm allowed to be in a bad mood. I'm allowed to have a meltdown when the whole world's ending and I'm hearing voices in my head.'

'You think that's true? That your behavior is acceptable? Then why did you have to pull a rewind?'

_She could tell? No one could before._

'So what if I did?'

'Oh, you love playing ignorant about this. One moment you are just being bitchy and the next I thought you were going to hit someone. Your teeth were going to break. I know enough about you to know what probably happened. I also know the main reason _why_ you rewind is because you feel you screwed up. So, again, why did you have to rewind?'

_Because you pissed me off. Because you called me out. Because I knew I was wrong and I'm so damn tired of the guilt and apologizing and making everyone feel bad._

'Because we got into a fight and I was wrong!'

With that, as furious as Max is at Victoria, she turns her emotions on herself. 'I am so tired of it!' She is quiet but intense. 'I'm so tired of all the shit hitting me! Living through days of righting wrongs, fighting, crying, losing. I did everything right! I keep doing everything right. Except now I can't trust anything I've done because this whole time little voices in my head might have been pushing my decisions and I have no idea how _they_ shaped my world. I don't know if anything I've done has been of my own free will or because of some sort of future me doing it.'

_FUCK!_

Fractured dams break. The stucco and plaster that had been slowly solidifying over the last few days is not up to the task of holding back these emotions anymore. Knees fold, tears fall. Hands arm balled up and pounding pavement. On reflex, a wobbling of the world occurs as Max's focus clashes with her discipline.

Until a hand rests upon her shoulder.

'Max, stay with me. I'm here Max. I'm not leaving. You're safe. Stay with me Max...'

The mantra grounds her back to reality.

'Max, you are fine. I'm here, just please, calm yourself down. Listen to my voice. Think of five things you see right now.'

_What is she-?_

'Wha-?'

'Trust me. What are five things you see?'

'I- I see the overhead lights. Cars in the parking lot...'

'Come on, keep going.'

'I see trees at the end of the lot. And fireflies in them. And I see you.'

'Okay. Now four things you feel.'

_The hell?_

'The pavement. Your hand on my shoulder. My backpack. My knees hurt a little.'

'Three things you hear.'

'I hear the bugs. You talking. Someone has music on loud.'

'Two you smell.'

'Pine. Pine and dirt.'

'One thing you taste.'

'Salt. Salty tears.'

'Okay. Good.' A hand rubs between Max's shoulder blades, further cementing reality. 'You're fine. You. Are. Fine.'

 _No, not really._ 'What was that Vicky?'

'An anxiety coping technique. 5-4-3-2-1 grounding.'

'How- how did you know?'

'Because while you have been melting down today, I've been all over the internet trying to figure out what's wrong with you.'

 _What's wrong is the whole world is coming for me._ 'Victoria, my powers-'

'Not your powers. You. You are messed-the-fuck-up.'

_Oh, fuck off. Who could be sane-_

'I mean, no one should be sane after the past week. And... and as much as Warren and I- and Kate too- as much as we want to help, we keep making it worse.'

_No! Not, not on purpose..._

'We _are_ trying to help. But every time we think we figure out something else or come up with a new theory, we just make it worse.'

_No you're helping_

'I am just... so tired. Of not being able to help. Of sitting by and watching you get hurt over and over.'

'you do help'

'But obviously not enough.' The hands on her shoulder and back finish their trip to a hug. 'I can't fully help you with all of this.'

Max leans into the embrace, returning it. 'this. this is the help i need right now.'

'Max, I can't. You have this uber-level PTSD going on. You act like you just came back from war. I don't know how to even begin with that.'

 _This._ 'just keep doing this'

They stay that way for a little bit longer.

'i, uh... i have to go apologize to kate and warren.'

'Not right now. Later. Tomorrow. Right now I know they are both pretty angry. Let me talk to them first.'

'okay'

Standing and turning. Max searches for a hand. Victoria lends her strength.

'thank you'

'Don't worry. I'm here when you need the help.' A unusually light laughter issues from the blonde. 'I keep telling you that, you just never listen.'

Max repays the laughter in kind. 'yeah. if you didn't guess, i can be a little think sometimes.'

'Only a little.'

The dam isn't fixed, not yet. And maybe it needs to be torn down. But Max has someone else plugging up holes with her.

Without discussion, Victoria directs them to the left side of the hall. Opening her own door, the blonde ushers Max inside, turning on both her lights and her stereo. An organ steps into the room, playing a dirge, or at least it seems to. A mild pickup in the attack, as well as strings entering late, adds... hope.

_What is this? I know it. I know I know it._

Victoria grabs a few bottles a water from next to her bed, sitting next to Max on the couch. And relaxes, ignoring the quizzical look on the brunettes face. Leaning her head back, she closes her eyes and just lets the music wash over her. Eventually, Max's puzzle is solved as the track flows into a acoustic guitar and vocal combination, accompanied by upright bass and drums.

The mellow tones of Colin Meloy, combined with his penchant for esoteric language and slightly unusual lilt, wash over Max. The two girls just sit and enjoy the album. Neither moves much, save to take sips from their waters, until the tragic story of Margaret and William comes to an end. Like escaping breath, the last words are sung and the last chords are struck.

Victoria is the first to break the hollow silence. 'I've had that album in my player for like three weeks and never got around to listening to it again.'

Max has a bit of trouble making herself heard. An hour of silence after yelling so hard has done funny things to the back of her throat. 'Yeah, it's a good one. I got "Castaways and Cutouts" and "The Crane Wife" on CD but never got around to picking up that one. So...' She eyes the blonde sideways, a smirk playing her lips. 'I know you're into the indie rock but... baroque pop?'

A blush colors Victoria's cheeks. 'What, I can't like harpsichords and string quartets?' She gets up and grabs an album book, packed with the most eclectic variety of music Max has seen. ELO and Pink Floyd sits next to Swans and Fiona Apple. Classic chamber music mixes sit next to hand-written Skrillex compilations. _She's got everything from the Decemberists, Death Cab. Frank Sinatra? And..._

'Vicky, what the hell is Steam Powered Giraffe?'

'Oh! Oh my god, you don't know them? They're, like, a performance art group. Folk rock meets vaudeville with a steam punk art style.' She pulls the CD, getting excited and continuing her diatribe. 'They're from San Diego. Started out as a pantomime group, life performance stuff. But their vocals... I just get chills listening to it sometimes. Here's my favorite.'

A acoustic guitar steps is, with a beautiful voice weaving along side of it. Hypnotically, Max is entranced at the first words.

_I was lost and scared and all alone_

_And there was darkness and all of my fears had grown_

_Into a monster I could not contain_

_It had claws and teeth and oh so many fangs_

_But then_

_I saw_

_Your eyes_

_I was falling wind was sweeping, rushing past_

_I could not find my way back to the ground_

_Wings like bird's would have slowed my decent_

_But I could not spread them all by myself_

_But then_

_I felt_

_Your hands_

_I can see I'm not alone, not alone_

_Not alone_

_You were standing there all along, all along_

_Faces in the distance reaching out_

_I am not alone_

_I am not alone_

_I can see I'm not alone anymore_

A single tear rolls down Victoria's cheek.

_I... I can see what she finds so powerful in a song like this. I've got goosebumps._

'Victoria, uh, wow.'

More embarrassment colors the blonde girl's face, and she tries to laugh. 'Yeah. It's been a while since my emo phase was in such high gear.' Sitting back down, she lets the rest of the album go to on, a combination of the wacky and the serious, led by a solid group of vocalists.

_Comedy and drama. The two sides of life. Where's my comedy?_

Victoria is typing at her computer during the album. _Gotta do that homework. Gotta get them good grades._

'I wish good grades were all we worried about, Max.'

'What, instead of the end of the world? They used to be the same thing.'

_Ha. Ha. It's a joke._

'Funny.'

_Someone gets me._

'Victoria, why are you even worried about school right now? I'm legitimately unable to focus on anything but...'

Turning in her chair, Victoria deadpans her response. 'Because the world isn't ending.'

 _Save me from optimists._ 'And you know that how?'

'Because, in spite of what you may thing, you have forgotten some basic logic.'

Hands thrown up. 'Enlighten me.'

A momentary hesitation before continuing. 'Are you, like, good to talk about everything?'

'Vicky, I'm surprised you waited this long.'

'Fine.' She moves onto the couch, taking her previous spot. 'You think the voices are you, right?'

'Yeah...' _Damn, it's so obvious._

'So, if future you is communicating-'

'-there must be a future.'

'Exactly.'

'But there's something wrong with future me.'

'Uh, duh? You're talking to your past self.'

'No. It's... how they talk.'

'They?'

'Yeah. It's like multiple personalities. Or schizophrenia. Sometimes the voice is... pushing me. Like how Chlo would... Like, to be daring, or open. To break free of my comfort zone. And other times..'

'Sometimes the voice sucks.'

'Yes. It points out the worst parts of me. It eggs me on. It's the one that made me all... crazy earlier. Told me to go get Chloe. To change everything.'

A hand enfolds Max's knee, squeezing gently. 'You got to fight it.'

'That's what I'm doing!'

Max didn't mean to yell.

'Sorry.'

The blonde hasn't moved at all. 'Don't worry. I have absolutely no idea what you may be going through. I expect you to get angry from time to time.'

'It's not towards you.'

'I know that much.'

'I am just tired. I'm not sure if what I think is from me anymore. Or from whatever future me wants. I don't... nothing. Never mind.'

Victoria scoots closer, shoulders touching. 'Don't stop. Talk. Share.' An arm around that shoulder. 'You'll feel better.'

'I don't trust future me. And not just because she, or they, are so confusing. Some of what I hear is... malicious. Just mean.'

'So don't do what it tells you to do.'

'But that's the point! I can't always tell where I end and it begins. I just... Just let me think this through a bit.' Max gives a light shove. 'Go finish your homework.'

'Okay. But you are going to keep me up to date.' A few clicks later. 'What is this?'

_What can I do? Can I somehow figure out-?_

'Max! Read this.'

Leaning over Victoria's shoulder, she reads the emailed link. _Fog blankets Arcadia Bay? But why don't we see it?_

'Look, here. It says "mysteriously, a slice of the fog bank is void, heading directly inland from the center of the bay". Let me try to...' Several more click, some specific typing. 'Weather satellites should be able to show some real-time... Here we go. It's fuzzy but we should-'

The Bay appears in the digital display. Pixel white puffs float along blues and greens. A perfect slice of cloud coverage, deceivingly choppy, is missing from an otherwise perfect circle.

'The fog isn't here. It isn't around the school. There's a corridor of nothing between the school and the water.'

'No. Nothing between me and the Bay.'


	17. Self-Destruction

_**Trigger warning: themes of sexual abuse and self-harm** _

_*** Monday Evening, Forestalling An Argument, After the Storm *** _

'The hell you mean by that?'

'I had a chance to stop the storm and I didn't.'

_Because I'm selfish._

'How could you possibly be responsible?'

_Because I don't care about anyone else._

'She's not responsible!'

Kate is as startled by her outburst as the rest of the girls. Beet red, she still pushes forward. 'What I'm say is that... Max isn't at fault. Something wanted Chloe dead and asked Max to do it.'

Victoria is growing more confused. 'What the hell does _that_ mean?'

Chloe takes over. 'Okay, from the beginning.' She hesitates, deciding on a beginning. 'So, Monday. In the bathroom, I was supposed to die.' She holds Max tighter, reliving. 'I was shot by Nathan and bled out right there. But Max changed that.'

'What the fuck? None of that happened!'

'That's because Max can time travel.'

'WHAT?'

'Yes.'

Victoria tries to stand. Weak knees keep her planted. 'Are you for-fucking-real?'

'Language-'

'Kate, shut the hell up!'

Finally getting her balance back, she stands and tries to open the door. A hand on her shoulder causes a flinch.

'Victoria, I can stop time. I can rewind it. I can prove it. And there is no way I can let you leave like this, without letting you know what's true. I promise when we're done I can undo this if you want.'

_You can't make that promise. You won't be able to go that far back._

_I know._

_You want to start off with a lie._

_It can't be helped._

'Five minutes. And then I'm out of here and never talking to any of you again.'

 _Fine._ 'So, let's start. Um, say a number.'

'Huh?'

'Any number, keep going with the digits.'

Together. '392873491-'

Not impressed. 'Cheap trick.'

 _We need some next level shit._ 'I need... something. Something I can't fake.'

Chloe hands over a notebook and a few pens she digs out of Max's bag. 'Have Victoria write stuff down and you can reproduce it without her seeing.'

 _Good idea Che._ 'Okay, here. Victoria, at least five things.'

A minute goes by.

'Okay, let me see.' Confusion and anger. 'Victoria, I need to see it in the first timeline.'

A quick look, a quick rewind. Shared notes.

_1 - fuck you guys_

_2 - this is so childish_

_3 - blue is not chloe's color_

_4 - HoW AbOuT tHiS_

_5 - 8675309_

_6 - i trusted you_

Exactly the same. Max even get's the angle right on Victoria's penmanship. A familiar mixture of fear and awe paint her features.

'Okay Vicky. Now, do you believe? And... do you want to know? This is your last chance. Any further and I can't go back far enough.'

Pause.

_Come on Vicky. We got a time crunch._

Still pause.

'...yes.' Some confidence comes back as the blonde makes her decision. 'Yes, I believe you. And yes. Tell me everything.'

Chloe, not content to be an observer. 'Max, you have to be hella sure about this. I mean, Kate worked out but...'

'I said I want to know, Price.'

'And you don't know what you're asking, Chase. This isn't a movie. This is some real fucked-up shit. Sorry, Katie.'

The group quiets, everyone lost in their own dark thoughts. Again Chloe is the first to break.

'Okay, we'll just run it through day-by-day. So, yeah, Monday. Max had a nightmare about the storm...'

Hours pass, once again Max reliving last week. She doesn't talk much. Only a few corrections needed. It's midnight before Chloe wraps up. Thanks to Kate, most of what had been said already has a context, though not enough for Victoria.

'I don't get it.' She has been pacing for the last half hour of the story, Saturday and Sunday events. Not that there's much to talk about those days. 'I... Kate, I don't understand why you're here.'

'Well, I'm here to help if I can.'

'No, not that. Why are you helping? Why are you helping that?' A gesture towards the bed.

_That?_

'Why you would be willing to be in the same room as Max, let alone trying to help her.'

The bluenette pipes up. 'Hey, Chase, don't be-'

'Chlo, I got this.' Max walks, to stand in front of the irritated blonde. No fear, no anger at being called a _that_ , Max just waits until the taller girl makes the decision to look at her squarely. Then, ever so slowly, like dealing with a wild animal, Max gently grabs Victoria's right hand and brings it to her own cheek. 'Here, Victoria. One freebie. Hit me. Or talk to me. Ask me the questions.' Max lowers her hand, but the palm leaning against her face, cold, stays. 'I made these decisions. I am the one ultimately at fault. Don't go after Kate. Or Chloe. If you want to hate someone, it should be me.'

A war exists just behind the green eyes staring back. It's waged in the brow and cheeks and lips. The eyes never change, just their frame. Eyes never change shape. They physically cannot. But so much expression is contained in them. The droop of a lid, the scrunching between eyebrows, the flaring of nostrils.

If the eyes are windows to the soul, the soul is caught in a perfectly cast resin of thoughts and emotions. Completely unchanging but a million facets and angles from which to see.

Fury loses. Depression wins. Tears fall as the cold hand first tries to find purchase and, failing, falls to the shoulder, pushing hard in an effort to keep Max still. Or Victoria upright.

'you-you killed...'

'yes'

'you killed courtney.'

_Yes I did._

'...i'm sorry...'

'YOU'RE FUCKING SORRY?!'

Kate moves quickly to try and support, but Max waves her off. As she suspected the crying girl, rather than grow violent, grabs at Max and pulls her into a fierce hug. The sobbing continues, and hands clawing at Max's back, sometimes painfully. Not caring, Max returns the physical contact, trying to will something other than the fear and anger she herself is feeling. Maybe a spark of hope. Maybe a touch of love. It's not enough, but it is what she has.

'All I have right now is that, Victoria. All I can be is sorry. I can't help anyway else. Not yet.'

'M-max, how can you l-let people die?'

An increase in her strength, steel in her spine. 'I didn't _let_ anything happen. I dealt with what was thrown at me. I dealt with double moons and eclipses and dying whales. I dealt with rapists and murderers. I dealt with my best friend trying to kill herself. I dealt with my girlfriend losing _her_ best friend.'

An intake of breath, preparing herself for something even Chloe didn't know the full story about.

'I dealt with you and I both being captured by that, that shit. Right after Chloe dies in front of my eyes. I dealt with him drugging me and taping me to a chair. Touching me. Taking my picture. _Taking_ it. The... the things he said. Bragging about _killing_ you, and Chloe. And the things he was going to do to me. The sharp prick of the needle and the fuzzy world after. The click-flash as he _took_ from me.'

Hands are on her shoulder, separate from Victoria's. _I never meant her to hear all of that._

'I killed people before the Storm. I killed Chloe. I saw her and she begged me to do it.' Pushing back, she once again stares into those green eyes. 'Do you get that? I would do everything for Chloe. I _killed_ her because it was the kindest thing I could do. I wasn't sure I could go back to this world. I just knew the only thing I could do to help was let her die. On her own terms.'

Whispering now.

'i can never let that happen to her again.'

'but the cost...'

'Is just my soul.'

A sound catches in a throat. Kate stands trembling, Chloe standing right behind her, offering comfort. Both have scared looks.

_They finally see the monster I am._

Kate speaks, quiet but, in a room of such silences, it overpowers. 'You aren't damned.'

'That's, that's... Thank you, Kate. But if there is a hell, I've got a one-way ticket down there.'

'N-no Max. You didn't kill those people.'

'I could have saved them. We can argue about semantics but I'm positive the Storm would have stopped if Chloe died. And I'd be dead soon after.'

The bluenette steps forward and tears her girlfriend away from Victoria. Searching Mac'se face, she stammers out quickly. 'M-max, don't talk l-like that.'

'Chlo, you know it and I know it. In the alt world I had already decided that if I couldn't go back... I wasn't sticking around. How could I? I'd be the girl that killed her best friend. Joyce, and William. I couldn't be the one that took their daughter away. I couldn't live in a world where I _killed_ you. How do you think I'd do in a world where I'd be walking around, every day, seeing dozens of people who lived because you died. Who could never understand your sacrifice for them.'

Max pulls her girlfriend, her home and safety. Leaning against Chloe's chest, searching for that heartbeat she gave up so much for. That beat she took so much from so many so it could keep on beating.

'I'd give me a week, tops.'

_Just a moment. There. Bump-bump. Bump-bump._

'That is unbelievably selfish.'

'Chase, stop.'

'No! I most certainly won't. She get's a free pass because she's _in love_?'

'Chase...'

'Che, wait.' A break and a turn. _Back to the standoff._ 'You are right, Victoria. Completely right.'

'I know I'm right! You, you patronizing bitch.'

'I'm not being patronizing. I'm being honest. I know I'm selfish and conceded. I have a major god-complex going on. I do all this, say all this, because I can. And I'm well past the point of caring. No, that's not it. I care. I'm not going to change things.'

The hand that rested against her cheek a few minutes before is back, and quite quickly too. The crack is still reverberating when Max raises her right hand and travels back a few seconds.

The hand that rested against her cheek a few minutes before is back, and quite quickly too. The crack is still reverberating while Max keeps her right hand raised and travels back a few seconds.

The hand that rested against her cheek a few minutes before is back, and quite quickly too. The crack is still reverberating yet Max keeps her right hand raised and...

Crack.

The hand once rested against her cheek.

Crack.

Back a few seconds.

Crack.

Keeping her hand up.

Crack.

'Vicky! Stop!'

Max is on her knees, blood dribbling from her split lip. A molted pattern of red mars her skin. Some of it is already on its way to full purple. _She didn't hit hard but... a loose tooth?_ Catching her breath, Max gingerly probes her molars from the outside, wincing.

The blood isn't just from her lip. Both nostrils flow freely.

Chloe and Kate are both crouched next to her. The bluenette is trying to get Max to look at her, showing her own wincing as the extent of the damage appears. 'Max, how are..? Oh, oh you stupid... Fuck, Max, let's get something for this...'

Staring at Victoria, willing her to immolate, Chloe runs down stairs, taking steps two at a time. Less than two minutes later, she's back with an emergency medical kit, bowl, and rags. Handing the bowl to Kate, asking for water, unpacking the med kit. Peroxide, bandages, one of those bags you crush to get them all cold.

_I'm feeling light-headed._

Victoria hasn't moved. Her hand, still with light smears of blood on it, is covering a face full of terror. The moment Kate brushes past her, a jolt of action shakes her body. She kneels next to Chloe, grabbing medical wipes, first for herself, then for Max's cheek.

'Chase, don't you-'

'I didn't do this, Price. I'd never wanted _this_.'

Working quickly, the trio try to fix her up. The burn of old-school sterilizer. Topical numbing agent. One of this little butterfly band-aids on the lip. A bit of medical cloth stopping up a nostril that hasn't stopped bleeding.

They sit in a circle. Exhaustion, on every level, cloaks everyone. Since the very brief exchange, no one has spoken. No one want to talk about it. No one knows how.

_I've destroyed them. They'll never trust me again. Instead of PROTECTING I'm the one HURTING them! Some fucking "Everyday Hero" I turned out to be._

_No._

_Fuck off right now._

_No, you did it._

_What did I do? Explained how much of a monster I am to everyone? Made myself get beat up?_

_Why did you you do that part?_

_I deserve it. I deserve to be hurt._

_No. No you don't. You know that, just like you know why you let Vicky hurt you._

_Because..._

_Think it through._

_So she would trust me._

_No. So that you would trust **them**._

'Max, why did you do..? Why did you let me do that?'

'Because...'

_Trust us._

_Why should I?_

_Because we are stable now. At least here. At least this time._

'Because I thought I deserved it.' The words are hard to articulate. The swelling, the pain, the numbness. Max doesn't let all that stop her from being clear. ''I deserved to pain. You owed me.'

'No, Max. That was... I never wanted to hurt you.'

'Victoria. You slapped me.'

'B-because you needed to wake up. You can't be... this.'

_What am I?_

'You were acting crazy. Like you were... proud. Of being damned.'

'I'm not proud. I'm just being real.'

Chloe moves closer, holding Max against her chest, mindful of the damage. 'Max, you don't deserve that. You aren't being real, you're just being...'

'Dramatic? Like it's the end of the world? Like I need to be the center of everything? I don't need that, I need to get what's...'

A petite voice interrupts. 'You don't get to choose punishment. God does. God get's to choose if you're damned or saved. Only God get's to decide how you are going to get punished, if He thinks you deserve it.' Kate is frustrated, but doesn't let it infect her words too much. 'It is the height of hubris to think you understand everything that's happened well enough to know better.'

_What, God wants me to be happy or something?_

'Max. Listen clearly to me. You aren't damned. You aren't going to hell. You are hurt and confused. You have all this pain in you and you keep looking for some way to let it out.' A deep silence. 'You can't let it out like this. You aren't a bad person.'

_yes i am_

'You have been hit over and over with stuff no one ever experienced before. You're eighteen. You are a good person.'

'...no i'm not...'

'Max, stop hearing me and listen!' A deeper silence. 'Are you fallible?'

'yes'

'Are you powerful?'

'uh, yes'

'When you screw up, you screw up big. Right?'

'...yes...'

'And what do you do?' The question hangs. 'You tear yourself up. You hurt yourself to help others. You deal with it and fix what you can and work on what you can't. You don't move on. You don't quit.'

Victoria butts in. 'Max, why did you talk to me today?'

_Why? Because I felt guilty._

_That's not why._

_Then..._

_Because you saw her and needed to help. You had guilt, it wasn't guilt that made you speak up. It was someone in need._

'honestly, because i could help you'

Kate looks triumphant. 'See. You are a good person.'

The words hit a chord. Not the religious aspect. Not the fact Max might not be as damned as she feels.

Max is struck by the fact someone like Kate, a pious and good person, still thinks that she, Max, is still good. That there is hope. That _Max_ is worth saving.

'i-i don't know what to say'

'Don't say anything. Understand this.' Everyone else turns to Victoria. The pixie blonde has a moment of panic but pushes onward as her internal conflict comes to an end, finally. 'I don't trust you, Max. I don't really like you right now.'

_please don't. what more can i do for you?_

'But there's more going on than I realize. I can... wait. I can... help, I guess. You are on really fucking thin ice but... I won't be running away or anything. You got to earn it back but... I'll give you a chance.'

'W-what changed?'

'You did, Kate.' The pair clasp hands. 'You have faith in her. You are still here, defending her and trying. If you can be a part of this, I'll trust that.'

Everyone is tired. Everyone is done. No more words as Chloe sets up some sleeping bags around the bed, thick blankets over and under them. In wool pajamas, Max climbs into bed, nesting, as Chloe drapes her arm around protectively.

An hour later and a pair of snores sound out in synchronicity. Yet Max and Chloe lie awake.

'don't you ever do that again.'

'i'm sorry.'

'you don't get to be the self-destructive one.'

'i'm so sorry.'

'stop apologizing. i'm really angry right now and you need to know that.'

A heartbeat is missed.

'are you-'

'i still love you, dork. just... never put me through that again. and don't talk like that.'

'i promise.'

'that's the sort of shit i went through. i know what it all means.'

The arm around Max tightens for a moment.

'chloe?'

'yeah.'

'i love you so much.'

'love you too.'


	18. Self-Delusion

**_* Monday Evening, Looking For Answers, After the Funeral *_ **

The phone's flashlight cuts right through the night, only stopping once it hits the cotton wall in the woods. Not truly cotton, the light doesn't soften and absorb. Not crystals, the light doesn't reflect. It just illuminates.

_I wish I could get some illumination right now._

The fog behaves... like fog. Slowly flowing in the currents of the wind. There is nothing unnatural about it's behavior.

Except for the invisible wall it refuses to pass.

_Right at the totem pole._ _Not an omen. Not a clue. Just a coincidence._

'Anything, Victoria?'

A call from across the quad. 'No. Nothing news worthy. Except how the whirlpool is suspected to be the culprit.'

_How right they are._

'Okay. Let's get back ins-'

Two figures, indistinguishable in the darkness, are walking straight for Max. Can't see who they are, but Max knows.

_Vicky talked to them. Without me knowing. I hope._

A bee line wouldn't be as straight as their path. Without pause, they walk right over the edge of the path, stopping a few feet from Max. Victoria covertly slips behind Max, lending strength and solidarity.

_Maybe she didn't talk to them._

Warren starts. 'Max, I... Okay. I'm not sorry about anything. And neither is Kate. But we get it. We get what's wrong.'

_Oh. Oh thank dog._

The petite blonde steps in. 'But we aren't done. You can't keep doing this. It isn't the first time. You can't snap at us all the time. I won't stand for it.'

_Guys..._

'Dammit. I'm going to cry.' Max takes a step forward, hoping for some sort of affection but patient, so as to not break this moment. 'I'm so sorry. But I can't promise I won't be a bitch again. This thing my head... I can't control it. I can't always tell when it's there. I can only promise one thing. I will listen. Talk. Yell. As long as you are talking, I will keep my ears open. You guys have the same carte blanche as Victoria to kick my ass.'

The pair look at one another. Without a word, Kate giggles and steps into an embrace with Max, Warren placing a hand on the brunette's arm.

Victoria takes over. 'Okay. Done with the lovey-dovey. Warren, you said you had news.'

_Ha! She was talking to them._

'I, uh, did the math. The swirl, the faux time power in the Bay. I know about when it will end.'

Max and Warren speak in unison. 'Friday.'

'Wait, you had a vision?'

'Nope. There's just a... symmetry. To this stuff, I mean. Taking one step towards the destination puts you one step towards something else as well.'

'You mean, you can, like, predict the future now?'

_I wish!_

_Really?_

_...Eh, maybe not. I have enough problems with time._

_Yes you do._

'Nope, but here's the theory I have. First, Storm versus whirlpool. Both cyclones of doom. The former was abrupt and immediate, the latter is slow-burning. Both are in the Bay, and both visions had me on the cliff by the lighthouse. Next, Monday. Last week, a snow storm in eighty degrees that became nothing almost as soon as it stops. Now we have a persistent fog bank that won't leave and it's chillier than normal. Both freak weather for this time of year.'

'So next, what? The sun blows up?'

 _Wow, scary._ 'No, but if I'm right, something with the sun or in the sky will occur. Then, animals go weird. The double moons... I don't know? Maybe something repetitive? Then, Friday, the whirlpool.'

_Boom, drop mic!_

'Uh, Max? Where's all this confidence coming from?'

_Oh. Uh? I don't know._

'Um...'

No one wants to field that question. Not when the answer may be the possibility they've all been dreading.

Warren speaks. A credit to his growing character. 'Is it future talk?'

_I think he might be ready to headbutt someone by Friday at this rate._

'No. No this is me. All conscious thought, all in first person.'

_Lies._

_Not really, I thought it all up._

_But it wasn't straight conscious reasoning. It's all subconscious connections while listening to music._

_Yeah, but still me. You said yourself, you ain't my subconscious._

The trio look much relieved, though they also notice the inward, pensive look on Max's face. Without hesitation, Max confirms it.

'Yes, I'm talking to "her". I know. I mean, I really know I'm talking to a future voice version of me that might be insane and by replying, I am further going crazy. I also know you guys know all this. So.'

Victoria picks up. 'So. Where does that leave us?'

'With a deadline.'

_Wrong word._

_Shush. Distracting._

They head inside, still discussing the timing, theories, even motives of FM. Future Max. Warren even brings up aliens.

'I'm just saying, time control would be within the realm of beings that can travel through the galaxy. Relativistic effects would play hell with beings popping around space.'

'Warren, Max isn't an alien.'

_You were going to suggest the same thing._

'Kay, fine.' He finally grabs the handle of the door to the boy's floor. 'I need sleep. Or a bunch of video games. Pick this up tomorrow?'

Goodbyes and promises are exchanged, as the girls head to their own sanctuary.

Victoria is the first to get to her door, though it's the furthest down the hall. 'So? Slumber party?'

_I'm too wired to sleep._

'Sure. Coming Kate?'

A look of trepidation, but resolve as well. 'Yeah. Let me change into PJ's.'

'I didn't really mean a sleep over. Just, let's hang out.'

'Oh, I know. I just need to get some clean clothes on.'

 _Good idea._ 'Gimme five minutes too.'

Entering her room, Max quickly changes into her favorite sleeping ensemble. _Hawt Dawg Man FTW._ Thinking it through, she also grabs both her camera and her guitar.

Victoria's door cracked slightly open and walking right in, Max immediately about faces and pulls the door mostly closed again.

_Shit! She should have closed it if she was getting changed!_

_You didn't look all that hard._

_Yeah, but... It's the principle._

_What? Like a sport's bra and pajama pants are that revealing. And her back was turned._

_But still. Should have knocked._

_Don't worry, she didn't hear you._

Kate walks over, holding a stuffed rabbit instead of Alice. 'What's wrong, Max?'

'Uh, Vicky's getting changed.' Beet red, from ears tips down. Loss of eye contact. All the signs of guilty.

'Oh. Did you, like, rewind... or something?'

 _What?!_ 'What? Why would I do that? I'm just waiting.'

A solid prissy-girl _mmm-hmm_ issues from Kate. _Like she's been practicing._ Without further delay, she knocks. 'Vicky, you ready?'

A very slightly muffled "come in" is heard.

_Thank dog she's dressed._

'So, ladies, any gossip that has nothing to do with the weird?'

Blank stares answer the pixie blonde.

'Fine. What do you want to do now?'

Kate's suggestion leads the conversation. 'Max, can we...talk about it? The voice? Like, can we ask it questions?'

 _That is so..._ 'Uh, yeah? She's being cooperative, right now.'

_You good with this._

_Right now, sure._

_Wait, just right now._

_You both are very synced right now. You are close, relatively, right now._

A completely solo _WFT?_ resounds in Max's head, but no response if forthcoming.

'Shoot, Kate. Just, ask me anything?'

'Um. What's it like?'

'Okay. Well, it's just me, in here. I have thoughts, and counter thoughts. Like when you are arguing with yourself, or trying to figure out a problem. I feel like I'm just thinking. But.' A pointed look at Victoria, Daring her to question word-choice. 'But it's also a conversation. Just like you don't know how someone might respond to something, I don't always know what she might say.'

'That is so shitty.'

'Vicky, language.'

'Sorry. Doesn't change that I'm right.'

 _You are not kidding._ 'I'm getting better at telling when she's here.'

'Still...'

'Yeah, still sucks.'

_Hey, it's not exactly pleasant for us._

'What's it, I mean she, talking about?'

'Mostly, she's being a sounding board. Especially recently. Since this afternoon...'

_dammit_

'Can we... talk about that, too?'

'Uh, yeah Kate.' Bracing herself, Max just bulls through the pain. 'I had a... vision. Not like the, uh, whirlpool. Just, you know, a normal hallucination.' _Wow, that sounds really screwed up._

'Is it so screwed up that, when put _that_ way, I'm okay with it?'

'You read my mind, Victoria.'

_Wait!_

_No, we are most certainly not Victoria._

Kate voices the shared concern. 'But, you knew it wasn't real?'

'Yes.' _Dammit, the parking lot._ 'I knew, but... But I wanted it to be true. I knew I was just imagining... Chloe.'

_See, not too bad._

'It's why I went off like that.'

Kate both backpedals and pushes forward. 'If, you know, if you think about it... It's like you have... PTSD.'

'Yeah. Vicky brought that up.'

'So, what? You'll just ignore it?'

'No! But... what can I do? Really? I can't explain it to a shrink. I can't explain it to anyone. I barely got the people who know me to believe me.'

Victoria looks... guilty. 'I have an idea but it's... not a good one.'

_And?_

'Self-medication.'

'What, like hit up the local drug dealer and grab some weed?'

'Um, exactly.'

_That's a really bad idea._

The other, non-habitual drug user of the group chimes it. 'Vicky, that is a _really_ bad idea.'

'Yeah, I know. But Frank should be able to get us anything.'

'Frank.'

Kate knows who Frank is. What services he provides. Who he provided for.

'I really hope the answer to our problems is not filling Max up with barbiturates.'

'It's not like I want her turning into a drooling mess. I mean, just something to calm her down. Hell, the stuff I take daily hits harder than weed.'

'Wait, you're on drugs?'

'Yes, doctor prescribed and everything. Xanax. Social anxiety and mild OCD.'

'Yeah, Kate. Imagine if she didn't take the drugs.'

'Quiet, Caulfield.' She refocuses. 'I'm talking about something like Zoloft or Prozac. Nothing recreational. Just, you know, the stuff you drive to Canada for because it's cheap.'

The petite girl pauses, gathering strength for... something. 'i have zoloft.'

_Huh?_

'Wait, Kate. You're taking meds?'

'yeah. since tuesday. my parents got me to start. i haven't... been very diligent with it.'

 _Her mom? Trying to help, or control?_ 'Are you okay with that? Are you, like, upset or something?'

A shake of a head, her hair coming a bit undone. 'I'm fine. They kinda know everything, after last Tuesday. It's just another attempt by Mother to control me.'

 _Not done yet._ 'But, won't it help? Even a little?'

This thought seems to be a new one for Kate. 'But, they want me to act like _their_ Kate. Not like me.'

Max pushes. 'I like the old Kate. The one who love tea time and drawing cartoons. The one who always smiles, real, genuine, loving smiles. Though.' Dramatic pause. 'New Kate does tell her father to get pissed in public.'

'Max!'

Holding up a hand, Victoria silences them both. 'No. Freaking. Way.'

Bashful again. 'i just... i was just so angry.'

'Katie, that is amazing. But, in context, I don't think it really works. Next time, tell him to get bent.'

'Vicky!'

A few hours later, well past midnight, Kate lies slumped over in the couch. Careful not to wake her, they spread her out and blanket her up.

'Okay, time for bed. See you in the morning, Victoria.'

'Max, you wanna... stay over?'

_Huh?_

The pixie blonde refuses to look at Max, instead idly scratching one elbow and looking down. She continues.

'I just. I don't want to sleep alone tonight.'

'Kate's right here.'

'No, I mean I don't want to _sleep alone_.'

_Oh._

_..._

_OOOOOOH!_

'Um, Victoria, I don't want you to-'

'Forget it, Max, I'm fine.'

'No Vicky! Just don't know-'

'Max, it wasn't supposed to be sexual.'

_Wait. Confused._

'Then, it was...'

'I just... feel safer sleeping next to someone.'

'Um, I'm not getting it.'

'It's just... Okay. I've never been, like, in love with someone but, you know. I'm not... inexperienced. And when I do... that, the best, um, part can be. You know. Just sleeping next to them. Or even without the, um...'

'Sex.'

_OHMYDOGOHMYDOGOHMYDOG! She's going to explode!_

'Yeah. I just... sleep... better, when there's someone I trust. In bed. With me.'

'Vicky.' _DON'T LAUGH!_ 'I would love. To sleep. With you.'

'...'

'Oh, babe, don't be like that.'

'I am going to fucking murder you Caulfield.'

'I get little spoon.'

Sharing sleep with someone you trust, whether through love, lust, or friendship, is cathartic. It heals. It calms. Like a nightlight from childhood, just the knowledge of someone there can be enough to salve the soul. The breathing you hear. The tactile brushes of their presence. The little things that chase away the monsters and nightmares.

Max worms onto her side, back to back with Victoria. Before the blonde could ask if she was comfortable, Max is asleep.


	19. Omens

**_* Tuesday, Way Too Early, In a Dream *_ **

Everything is so blue/red. Max's hands look raw/frozen. The silence is solid, a physical pressure in her ears. All she can hear for the moment is the pounding of her blood.

_I'm back._

The lighthouse stands solemn in the failing light. The white of the edifice is washed the same blue/red as everything else, but deeper. A more crimson/midnight color. It glows.

_Again the cliff._

The whirlpool is almost done. It stands towering/it falls to the depths of hell. The bubble/dent of the spiral is poised to complete it's journey.

Max is standing, alone. The silence breaks, a siren starting in the distance. No other acknowledgement of life exists.

_Where are the clouds?_

The world is crystal clear. Max can see, unaided, miles. Straight through to the horizon. Not a soul dots Arcadia Bay's streets. The dead body of a town.

She takes a step.

Everything and nothing changes.

Everything is so red/blue. Max's hands look frozen/raw. A thunder storm roars a single note. Everywhere, sound, pushing her back/pulling her forward. She can feel the sound caress her skin, thick enough her pulse pushes against it.

_And now wha-_

Momentum causes another step.

Everything is so blue/red.

Silence.

But not alone.

Victoria stands some dozen feet away, closer to the edge. Her back is to the Bay, but she doesn't look at Max. Her face hard. Angry? Pained? Red eyed, hair a mess. Wearing a blouse and skirt/worn jeans. Muddy. Wet. But there's no rain.

She stares at the feminine form in front of her.

The person is no taller than Max, but older? More defined physique. A few more pounds, not overweight but fuller. Brown hair, just past the shoulders. Tan skin, but still on the pale side. Her hand outstretched, warding off Victoria. Or pushing. Or reaching for her. Beseeching, attacking. Too hard to tell. Nothing moves. No action. No sound.

Momentous step.

Red/Blue

Thunder

Pressure

Kate stands in front of Max. Obviously crying. A hand, right against the sternum, flat/holding tight, as Kate pulls/pushes Max. Her mouth is open. She is yelling. Hazel eyes, red-rimmed, stare into Max. They want something. _What? What do you want?_

Step

Blue/Red

Quiet

Empty

The brown-hair of the new girl is once again in her view, sitting at the bench, overlooking the Bay. Kate and Victoria stand at the door of the lighthouse. They gesture. Towards Max or away? Come closer?

_What? I can't know what you want._

A sliver of silver catches her eye. Afraid to move, to upset this moment, Max follows with her eyes.

_A gun. Revolver. David's? Or Frank's?_

The thought she should have had first appears.

_Who holds it? Chlo/War-_

Step

Empty. Again.

The blister/crater is about to finish it's trip.

Max stops trying to move. Every step, a different scenario. Every move, a different future. She gets it. She begins to understand.

_Do you?_

She asks herself-

_Do you think you really understand?_

-but doesn't answer her own questions.

_You are here, at the crux. The decision._

She can make words.

'Always the lighthouse. Why? Why here?'

_You decide why._

'I don't want to come here.'

_Then don't._

'...What?'

_Don't come here. You decide. You always decide._

'You said... I had no choices. Anymore.'

_True. You do not choose. You decide._

'What? That's the same thing!'

_No._

'No? Just no? Explain, dammit!'

_To choose is to find a direction. To weigh right and wrong. You see the answers to your question. You pick your answer from many. From two or ten or all the stars above. You see all outcomes._

'Then decision is-?'

_Belief. Grays. Nothing firm. You decide the direction, not the selection. Not one or another. If then but while just-in-case. You choose Chloe or Arcadia. Life or lives. But you decide who means more. Value. You decide your mind, you choose your path._

'That sounds like some bullshit semantics.'

_Yes. No. Maybe so-_

'-sometimes, always, never. It's still you. Me. Future me.'

_Yes._

'Why are you so fucking vague right now?'

_Because you still only see the fork in the road. Save/damn the town. Kill/cure the girl. You only see your choices and you won't decide!_

'I don't... understand.'

_Black/white/black/white/black/white all you see. The world is not monochromatic. We have too much potential too many decisions too much too many too much_

'So... so I have a decision to make. One of which is big.'

_Bingo was his name-o._

'And because I haven't made this decision yet, you're... unstable?'

_We are quantum we are nothing we are everything we are the cat in the box look we are alive and dead and naught and either_

'Okay, dial it back. Let's keep you, or me, together.'

_Keep is simple._

'Okay. What are the simple things you can tell me.'

_You have to find the value. Of your love and your love. Decide between it._

'Not making sense...'

_You love her. Decide on that love. Is it enough? What is enough? When will it be enough?_

'Chlo... What about her? What about love?'

_Is the love she has/had/will have/won't have/can't have... is it ever enough? Does it ever fill?_

'What does all this have to do with it?'

_You only ever see the path as right and wrong. Left and right. Binary. Kill him, kiss her. You see options._

_But you are very powerful._

_You split and pull the world and don't understand. The grays. For you, for us, it is just like everyone else. We value. But you see the obstacles and choose to go over or under or through._

_But why?_

_You/we/I never ask why. Why did Chloe love you. Why did Kate take your hand. Why does Victoria want to help you. They place value on you._

_You need to find your values._

'I don't-'

_Understand. We know._

'Then... then who is the girl?'

_Can't tell you that._

'Of course not. Can you tell me anything useful?'

_No._

'Why? Why all of this? What can you do to help?'

_Nothing._

'You're me. Why are you being so God. Damn. USELESS!'

_We cannot tell you more. More will cause paradox. More will make us not exist._

'Then what? What do I do?'

_Wake up._

**_* Tuesday, 3 am, After the Funeral *_ **

A cold sweat and shooting pain in her temples wake Max up. A pressure across her chest causes momentary panic.

_It's just... just Victoria._

Max lies there, doing nothing, the agony in her head receding quickly. A finger to her lip, checking for blood. None, this time.

She shivers. Reliving. A nightmare.

Her thoughts jumbled, she quickly falls back asleep despite the will to remain awake. She will forget much of the vision before morning.

But not all of it.

She chooses to let sleep take her.

**_* Tuesday, 3 am, After the Storm *_ **

Heat and pain awake Max. Just heat and pain. The pain of a spike driving itself slowly into her eye. The heat of breath on the back of her neck.

_Chloe..._

Max pulls herself inward, willing the pain away. And it is forced to retreat. A bit of blood dribbles from her nose, unnoticed.

She sweats. Forcing the nightmare away.

Her mind clearing, she slowly dives deep into slumber, embracing that little death. Still, she knows she will remember that vision with clarity.

But not all of it.

She decides to let tomorrow wait.


	20. Author Notes 1 (minor spoilers)

Author's Aside (not a chapter)

End of Monday and, as you can see, I've decided to go for the full weird now. Don't worry, I do have a way to explain everything. Just, you know, not yet. And for those who want to call bs on that last chapter, well, my proof reader didn't get to see it first.

So, what is this I'm doing here?

First, I wanted to talk about my two Maxes. Both are suffering from something similar to PTSD. Different settings, different responce. This is how I envision them, even if I'm not going to the full extent of my description.

Funeral Max is dealing with being alone and the 'knowledge' she 'killed' Chloe. Needy, prone to bursts of emotions (mostly anger), manic depression. She is manifesting her distress by heavily imprinting on Victoria, who is becoming a surrogate for Chloe. She embraces her suffering just so she can feel.

Storm Max is very similar, less outbursts but a lot more guilt. Denial is her hallmark trait, as well as her desire for approval from Chloe. She believes as long as she has Chloe, no price is too high. The confrontation with her previous actions, specifically sacrificing the Bay, causes her to shut down, go defensive. Even the abuse she seeks from Victoria is a defensive play, making Vicky an antagonist instead of a victim.

Neither versions see this consciously. No future malicious intent, don't worry. Mostly, they are young screwed up women. Yeah, women, though I refuse to use that word yet. They are still kids. When I think they've matured, I'll change.

Now, the last chapter. Short, confusing, and poorly written. I didn't both expanding on purpose. I hope it was frustrating, that's the point. The Voice isn't supposed to help Max make a decision, it just helps Max realize she already did. And, like in the chapter, I have a hard time writing it in a 'pure' form. It's is what is called a gestalt, a combination of many things into one that is more than the some. All possible Max's talking in unison. It lets me cheap and be vague and frustrating. But only in The Vision. In the real world only the most likely Max gets to talk at any given time.

That's it for now, except to say that I hope you keep enjoying the story. And to apologize for what's coming up. Minor spoiler, things are going to get bad.


	21. Drowning

**_* Tuesday, October 14, 7:15 a.m., After the Funeral *_ **

A shake, a shudder, and Max wakes. Cracking an eye, a wall greats her. And sound. Humming, the rustle of paper. Max recognizes the humming of I Am Not Alone.

_Vicky must be up._

Stretching as she sits up, more rustling. Victoria is standing at her desk, continuing to write while turning her head. 'Morning. You sleep okay?'

 _Do I..?_ Planting a false smile, she nods. 'Yeah. Still a little groggy.'

'Well, I'm wide awake.' Grinning and back to humming, she turns back to her notebook, finishing the book she seems to be composing. 'So, we have to morning free. Breakfast?'

 _Freaking morning people._ 'Morning free? What about Language of Pho-' She catches herself, realizing...

Victoria turns fully to Max, dropping her pen on the page. 'Um, yeah. No class until after one.'

Mental arithmetic. 'Kate's free too. Let's grab her.'

'Already on it. She left ten minutes ago to get cleaned up.'

_Perfect. Now I just need to... talk to them about the vision. Just. How?_

Not much of the vision remained in memory, but two things strike her with perfect clarity. The final vision of her friends. Standing by the lighthouse, gesturing to her for... something. The random brunette woman. A familiar person. But why? And the gun.

The gun being pointed at that unknown figure. The gun that looked just like the one she held in her hand. Pointed at Frank.

The gun _someone_ wanted to use.

_Who is that girl? Who has a gun? I hate these visions._

The second memory Max retained was less what was said and more how. The... Future Max. Unusual, to say the least. Maybe crazy? She was so hard to follow.

_Choosing and deciding? I still don't get it._

_What are you, really?_

_Hello?_

_Really fucking convenient. No help, still._

'Max? You still with me?' Victoria is searching through her closet, trying to decide on what to wear. 'Inner monologue with the future or just spacing out?'

 _Damn. So obvious._ 'Trying. And failing. My FM station is on the fritz.'

'FM?' A light bulb goes off. 'Future Max. Try-hard much?'

A pillow hits Victoria's back.

'Don't mess with Time Lords.'

A snicker answers back.

'Okay, Miss Time Lord. Lady? Whatever.' Victoria turns back, holding a pile of black and blue cloths. 'Go get dressed. We're eating by eight.'

 _Freaking morning people!_ A whine escapes as Max falls back to the bed, covering her head. 'But it's too early...'

'Quit drooling on my pillows.' A tugging sensation and one of Max's socks is removed, exposing her foot to a chill. 'Come on. I still need to shower before all the hot water's gone.'

A groan issues from the growing pillow fort around Max's head. 'Do I have to?'

'Max, I'm leaving my room in two minutes. You have one to get up and get out.'

 _Fine..._ 'Okay, okay, I'm going. But there better be bacon.' _Oh, alliteration. Delicious alliteration._

Five step to her room door. And still, Max hears her name. Glancing sideways, a bright-eyed Juliet is waving enthusiastically. 'Hang on!'

'Morning Jules.' _Why is everyone up so early?_ 'What's shaking bacon?' _I am making myself so hungry._

'Nothing much, just wanted to see if you were heading to breakfast.'

'Oh, uh, yeah. I'm heading out with Victoria and Kate soon.' _A line never before uttered._

'Yeah, we'll see- wait, Kate _and_ Victoria?' She leans in closer, the cocked eyebrow and slight flair of nostrils letting Max know Juliet has the scent of something juicy. 'Those two, hanging out together. And don't think I missed you leaving Victoria's room just now.' A wagging finger bops Max's nose. 'Someone's got secrets.'

A bit of panic enters Max's voice. 'What? We're friends. Nothing going on.'

'Wait, are you blushing?'

 _No, just flipping out._ 'N-no.'

A mischievous smile plays across curious features. 'Max? What's going on?'

 _Nope. Not letting a rumor get out. Or worse, the truth._ A moment of concentration and-

Glancing sideways, a bright-eyed Juliet is waving enthusiastically. 'Hang on!'

'Morning Jules.' _Let's play this out on my terms._ 'I'm headed to breakfast soon. Come with' _Head it off before it can start._ 'Fair warning, Kate and Victoria are both coming.'

'Yeah, perfect. Dana and- wait, Kate and Victoria?' She leans in closer, the cocked eyebrow and slight flair of nostrils letting Max know Juliet has the scent of something juicy. 'Those two, hanging out together. And don't think I missed you leaving Victoria's room just now.' A wagging finger bops Max's nose. 'Someone's got secrets.'

 _Same path, but..._ 'Yeah, I'm helping... mend things between the three of us. Even had a girls' night.'

'Wait, you are trying to bee Victoria's friend? I thought, after last week...'

 _Vicky really did a job at this school. Everyone is so... lukewarm, at best, towards her._ Going on the defensive, with just a bit of sting. 'She's hurting over all this, worse than most of us. Imagine if it was, like, Dana that all this happened to?'

A look of concern replaces the mischevious grin that had started. 'Well, I...'

'Yeah. Your best friend doing some really fucked up things and going to jail? And you never knew? It'd be like getting your heart ripped out.' _And crushed, over and over and- morning is so not a good time for this._

'Okay, I get it. But everyone is saying she-'

 _Huh? What the hell now?_ 'What, Jules? What are people saying?'

'That, you know...' It is obvious that the gossip queen Blackwell is reluctant to share this little rumor. 'That she knew...'

_THE FUCK?_

Max can't help the anger in her voice. 'Juliet. I can guarentee, one hundred percent, Victoria had no idea.' _Should I-_ 'Okay, absolutely confidential?'

An answering nod.

'You heard about the binders? Vicky's name was... the next one.'

Pale horror entirely takes over Juliet's expression. A hand in front of mouth, the other wrapping around her waist. Tears start to form.

The door scant feet away opens, showcasing the balancing act of toiletries and clothes Victoria is taking to the shower.

 _surprise..._ 'Um, morning Juliet...'

She chokes out a 'good morning' before hurrying back to her room.

'Um, Max, what was that?'

'I'll tell you later.'

'Kay.' Beat. 'Get your shit and get clean.'

'Yes ma'am.'

It takes less than five minutes to gather the necessary supplies. Hustling to the showers, she gives Brooke a quick hello before diving into the nearly empty bathroom.

_We got to get Warren to ask her out. I'm freezing from that hello._

Only one other person using the showers. A question, 'Max?', confirms it's Victoria.

'Yeah Vicky, just me.'

'What was that with Jules this morning?'

Starting the shower to buy time, Max thinks her responce through. By the time her head hits the water, she realizes the truth is best.

'Just, you know... Setting the record straight.'

'About what?'

 _Stop being afraid and tell her._ 'About what you knew. About... Nathan.'

Silence.

'I'm sorry Victoria. I had no idea people were saying-'

'I knew.'

_Huh?_

'I meam, I knew about the rumor. Court told me about it on Saturday.'

 _Oh crap._ 'If you knew people were saying this about you, why...'

'Why haven't I ripped their tongues out yet?' A pained chuckle can barely be detected above the two showers. 'Because I don't care anymore.'

'You. Queen Bee of Blackwell. Stopped caring about your image.'

'Yeah, surprised me too.'

'I don't believe you.'

'Hey!' Flowing water. 'Yeah, I have trouble believing me too. But I had a real wake-up last week. Not just about the shit. About what matters. And it doesn't matter how you appear to other people. Only matters who you are.'

The water rinsing her hair prevents Max from responding straight away. 'Awful adult of you.'

'Yes, well, I had a lot of alone time last week to think it over. Don't get me wrong, Taylor and Court were great support. But Friday, Tay comes up to me all nervious and stuff. It takes like twenty minutes but eventually she straight up asks me if I ever knew what Nathan and Jeffershit were doing.'

ouch

All that sounds is water falling and draining.

Until a quiet sob makes it past the curtain.

'Oh, Victoria. Oh, damn. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

Words are all she can offer in her... present state. Until a moment of inspiration hit.

'Vicky, stick your hand out. Past the curtain.'

Max does the same, blindly searching for the blonde girl's hand. Finding it, she squeezes it tight.

'You are not at fault. You could not have known. It's impossible. No one, the athorties, their famlies, no one could have predicted what those two were up to.'

Stuttering intake of air. 'I should have...'

'No! It's not your fault. Dammit!' Max is already pruning in the water. 'Get finished and get dressed. I need to do this face to face.'

Letting go, both girls shut the taps and quickly dry and dress. The whole while Max breaks, hearing her friend cry quietly next door.

_Fuck yeah, she's my friend. No one hurts **my** friends._

_except_ chloe

_You do NOT want to start now._

sorry

Max exits first, patiently waiting for Victoria. A minute passes, still sobbing issues from the stall. Max stands, waiting.

Another minute of tears.

And another.

 _Fuck this._ Max peaks behind the curtain.

In the corner, curled up, lays Victoria. Fully clothed _(Thank Dog!)_ but getting soaked from the still-wet stall. Her nose freely flowing, her short wet hair trying its best to stand on end.

_She is not pretty when crying. She's shaking like a leaf in the wind!_

So, for the second in the day, Max rewinds.

As soon as she's dressed enough Max bolts in on Victoria. Same positioning but a lot less snot to deal with. Max immediately lifts up the blonde's head and sits, placing it on her laugh. Grabbing the nearby used towel, she gently wipes away the mess on Victoria's face.

A few minutes and Victoria finds her voice.

'h-how can they think... h-how can-'

'Shhh, you are okay.'

'they thought i w-would let n-n-' Breathing in to let out the words. 'i would let nathan do that. i w-would help him.'

_She's not calming down._

'they thought i-i would let nathan do that to s-someone. that i could be a part of that.'

Victoria buries her face in the towel.

All Max knows to do is stay there, let her cry, and offer help with words.

'Victoria, you are not at fault. You did nothing wrong here.'

Muffled by the towel, the piercing scream is still present. The meaning is unmistakable. Anguish. Anger. Pain and guilt.

Max knows those emotions well.

'Vicky, I'm here. I know. I _know_. I have you. You're safe.'

Still muffled but quite clear. 'i hurt so many people.'

'Don't say that-'

'No!'

Finally lifting her head, finally getting up off the tile floor, though only sitting. There is a... feral look in her eyes. She's pleading.

'I hurt you. Over and over! Why do you talk to me? Why do you even look at me?'

Max has no words. Not fast enough to stall this tirade.

'I almost killed Kate! Over a video! I would have let her jump.'

'Victoria! Stop this. You didn't do that.'

'Yes I did. Don't you get it? I _did_ post that video. I _did_ use that against her. I harassed you for months!'

'I don't care. I already forgave you.'

'Why? Why don't you blame me? I as good as pushed Kate off that edge. I bet I helped Nathan destroy your room. I threw myself at Jefferson, made myself an easy target. I did everything wrong, over and over.'

Try as she might, Max cannot get a word in.

'I'm so selfish. Trying to sleep with Jefferson so I could win "Everyday Heroes". I knew you were better than me. I always knew everyone is better.'

 _Fuck. She's going nuts._ 'Stop talking! Dammit Vicky! You're a teenager. You're human! You can't be perfect. Everything you've said to me the last few days. Were you lying? You really think you are to blame about shit you didn't know and _never even happened_? What about me? I _did_ let Chloe die.'

Finally, Max has her undivided attention.

'Yeah, I know I'm not a murderer. I know I saved lives by not interfering. I still let her bleed out in a dirty school bathroom. And I'm dealing with it. I... I'm better because of you. I _know_ these things because of you.'

'No, Max. I'm not like you. I'm not good-'

'Oh, shut the fuck up. Don't give me that bull. I've been saying the exact same thing over the last few days. You have not let me once believe I was worthless or useless. As much as you know what I can do, you never once backed down or gave an inch. You never once tried to coddle me. And I'm not coddling you if you're going to be as unreasonable as I was.'

While the crying has slowed down during Max's speech, Victoria's tears seem to finally abate.

'Victoria. I know you're a good person. Kate knows that too. The person who's death you want to take blame for killing. She's sitting thirty feet away, waiting for us to go have breakfast. That girl you're crying over is your friend. _I'm_ your friend.'

'You shouldn't trust me. No one should.'

'UHHH! Stop it.' Max wipes her face, but she isn't crying. _I should be crying._ 'I know how hard it is to forgive yourself. I know because I still haven't. But I'm starting to, and that's because of you.'

'Th-thank you. But-'

'No buts. You've been hounding me about that word for days now.' A nearly silent chuckle issues from Max. 'I've figured out when you use "but", it pretty much invalidates everything thay comes after.'

Victoria answers with her own little laugh, at odds with the treat of her demeanor. 'About time you learned that.'

'I know.' The smile flees, once again replaced by concern. 'Victoria, after everything, how could you think I wouldn't trust you?'

'That's exactly why. Everything y-you witnessed last week, why would you?'

'What do you-'

'I PUT HER ON THAT ROOF!'

 _She's pivoting hard. We gotta-_ 'Vicky, calm down. Just- just tell me what you see.'

'What?'

 _Is that the look I gave her_ 'Tell me five things you see.'

The pixie blonde pauses a moment, then smiles. It's not a pretty smile, with a running nose and blotches all over her face. It doesn't crack through the pain.

But it's a real smile.

'You good?'

Laughter and sniffling. 'No. But I'm calmer.' Sitting against the still-wet wall next to Max, she gives her a shoulder push, a bit too embarrassed to look her straight on. 'Thanks.'

Max bumps her right back. 'No problem.' She stands with a grunt. 'Now, let's get changed. Again. I don't know fashion like you but I'm pretty sure wet and wrinkled isn't in season.'

They both circle back to their rooms to change. Max quickly switches out for a dry shirt but debates over her pants. _Jeans aren't the moist comfortable when wet but they should dry soon enough._ She packs her bag. _Camera, notebook, etcetera. And... I really want to play today._ Guitar in place, in case and over shoulder, she knocks across the hall.

'Come in.'

Victoria on her bed, buttoning her sweater over blouse. Kate sitting on the couch, writing in her book. _Or drawing. Yay!_

'Ready girls?'

Kate nods enthusiastically, but Victoria pops open her purse and tries to cover up the color still on her cheeks. 'In a minute. I have to...'

'Yeah, sure. We don't mind.'

'No. Not the makeup.' She snaps her mirror closed and take a moments. 'I need to clear the air.'

'You don't need to-'

'Yeah Max, I do.' She rounds on the third girl. 'Katie. I know you said you forgive me. But I don't.' Raised hands counter a started argument. 'I don't care what you might say right now. I know I did to you. I knew what I was doing at the time. Maybe now I understand why better but that's only a reason, not an excuse or an apology. And even though it didn't happen... I still feel terrible that what I did caused...'

She can't finish. _Not that I blame her. The fact is Kate **did** jump that day._

'Victoria, I don't blame you.'

'It doesn't absolve me of driving you to _that_. Even if it wasn't this me, a version of me was a royal bitch last week. Like usual.'

'Please, Vicky-'

'No, Kate. Let me finish. I feel... flat out terrible about how I acted. Even if I didn't actually do anything to you- to you both- last week, I still would have done those shitty things. So, yeah, I'm feeling really guilty.'

Neither companion knows really what to say. Where to start.

Kate tries.

'I don't blame you for any of this. I don't think you have any fault.'

'I know. And I know you don't blame anything on me either, Max.' The blonde shivers. 'I blame me. because it's things I did, or were going to do. It took me some time to figure out why but I did. I'm jealous.'

_Why is she jealous. Rich, or at least very well off. Parents who love her. Friends, family. Talent and a ready-made career she obviously loves. Hell, she and... that douche had all sorts of power in school. I mean-_

'I had everything going my way. I ran this school. I ran my life. I was in charge of everything that mattered to me. Except.. you two. And a few other people. I mean, it wasn't that I needed to manipulate you. Or run your lives. But you... ignored me. You didn't love me or hate me. You just had lives... that I couldn't affect. I'm not used to indifference.'

_Well, that's kinda... super-villainy._

'Damn, it sounds so bad, but I'm used to people loving or hating me. Or scared. Or sucking up. Or just friends. Or just pretending one of those. I know the kinds of things people were saying behind my back. But you two... didn't bother.'

'We didn't mean to-'

'Max, it wasn't anything you did. Not on purpose. My life is... I can't lie. My life is pretty great. My family always supported and loved me. My friends, my real ones, they always looked out for me. I'm always near the top of the class, always excelled at what I did. I just always had to try so hard. Working overtime, or flat-out cheating to make sure my grades stayed good. Comparing myself to all the artists that I've seen in my parents gallery. Best fashion sense, trendy topics, social media. I mean, I'm not a celebrity. But I have been laying that foundation my whole life without really trying. Everything I've done was in that direction. First step, come out of school already posting pieces in galleries. Next get featured in some magazines or online. I've planned on having my own showing well before I'm thirty. But now-'

'Now what? Why would that change?'

'I saw you two. I saw how much easier it was. To just excel.'

'It wasn't easy.'

'I know. But you two come in to this school and just... make it look effortless. I'm doing everything I can to keep treading water and you are doing backstrokes around me.'

She pauses.

'It's not the first time I've felt this way. You aren't the first people to make me feel so outclassed. Rachel was the same way. And even Nathan. But with Nathan, I- I thought I knew him. And I knew we were never really competing. We worked with each other. But you, Max, especially you. Made me feel so outclassed. I felt like I was drowning.'

Victoria turns to the couch.

'Kate, you came to school and... you were just a ball of sunshine. Everything you say and do is just so perfect. Always ahead of school work. Always smiling. No trouble. No skeletons in the closet. My world just never touched yours.'

She turns to the computer chair.

'Max. God, you walked into this school like some sort of wunderkind. A year of being... that asshole's star pupil and it takes you half an hour to completely replace me. Everything you did encroached on... my territory, I guess. I never even had a chance. And you didn't even know it! You didn't care that I had this built-up kingdom. You walked in and didn't realize how good you are. Max, damn, I've never been number two at anything I cared about before.'

'Vicky, I'm not-'

'Yes, you are. You do things with that beat-up camera that shouldn't be possible. With selfies, for fuck's sake!'

'Vicky!'

'Sorry Kate.' She has enough decorum to chastised. 'But it's true. I really wanted to hate you two. Like- like I did with Rachel. I did really try to hate her too, but she made it easy. She rubbed my face in it. She made me know when I was beat. Not you didn't care. You took it when I was a bitch and never fought back. Worse. You let it pass. You forgot about it. You didn't acknowledge me "winning".'

Kate moves to the bed and hugs Victoria. This doesn't stop the torrent of words.

'That's why I escalated. I went all out to get you, Kate.' She doesn't notice that she's crying, just leans deeper into the embrace. 'You are just so... perfect. Pious. Righteous. Good. Flat out good. And I knew- I knew I couldn't be that good.'

'Gosh, Vicky, I-'

'I didn't want you to get hurt like that! I just wanted you to think I was better. I just wanted to prove I was better!'

'To who, Vicky? Who needed to know you were better?'

'I don't know! Maybe me? I don't know why but I had to know I could beat you and I almost-' She leans into Kate's shoulder and lets out a similar scream to before. The petite girl seems to vibrate from the physical impact of that scream.

'Sh, Vicky. Just breath. Deep, in and out.' Kate, looking over to a Max starting to rise from her chair, gives a slight shake of her head to say _I got this_.

'Vicky, why did you want to win? Win what? Being good isn't a competition. There's no grade or score for happiness. You don't "win" in life.'

Still shaking, Victoria tries to clutch tighter but, unusually, Kate breaks the embrace. Holding her at arm length, eye to eye, she repeats herself.

'You don't "win" life. You live it. You don't "turn" good. You do good. You don't "earn" happiness. You find it and hold on.'

Only then does she pull the distraught girl back to her.

_Damn, Kate's got philosophy skills._

'You have to find what makes you happy and complete and hold on to it. That becomes your life. You help people in the world not so someone thinks you're good but because you want to help them. And you will only want to help them, or find happiness, or anything positive in your life, when you can love other people _and_ yourself. You can make the world better when you care for others. That means in order to make _your_ world better you need to care about _yourself_. You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection.'

'Buddha.'

Max's turn to look embarrassed. _Had to open my mouth._

'Well, just because I believe in Jesus doesn't mean I don't know good advice when I see it.'

'A very palpable hit, Kate.'

'Shush.'

Victoria calms down, breathing easier and beginning to sniffle instead of tearing up. Kate goes back in.

'Vicky, you know there is no reason to feel this way. What you did, what you felt, that's the past. I know you asked me for forgiveness. I forgave you because I saw you were sorry. Everybody feels bad when they do wrong. Only a good person wants to fix it.'

In a few minutes, Victoria will calm down enough to crack a joke. The girls will get themselves ready to head out for breakfast. By the time they get there,the little laughs will turn into questions about the Vision, and the voice in Max's head, and much more pressing topics.

But right now, they just sit there and relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, this chapter was originally under 3k words.


	22. Drops

**_* Tuesday, October 14, 8:15 a.m., After the Storm *_ **

Tapping on glass wakes Max up. A broken branch hangs from the roof, wedged there in the storm. The wind shifts it again, causing another staccato of noise against the glass.

_Friggin' sun. Friggin' weather. Friggin' everything._

The warmth of the arms around her try to lull her back to sleep. The heat coming from lips nestled against her neck. A sigh and a nuzzle into her collar bone. The slight sway as the chest behind her fills and empties.

_Just don't keep-_

The sharp crack, like a distant gunshot, as the glass pane receives another line of breakage causes three of the four girls to sit bolt upright.

Max ends up sprawled on the floor.

_Friggin' everything._

'The HELL was that?'

'Vicky, stop yelling.'

'Max, are you okay?'

Blue eyes, blue hair, a barely contained smile among pale features. A dancing smile, moving from lips to eyes and back down.

_Waking up isn't too bad. Just abrupt._

'Yeah, I'm f-'

'Shit! Did you bust your nose?'

Max finds a crusted texture just below her nostrils, followed to the right edge of her chin.

'N-no. No, Chlo, I'm fine. It's nothing now.'

'Shit. Shit balls. You had a dream?' Chloe looks to the other two girls, both still in the process of waking. 'Sorry Katie.'

'Sokay.'

A hand pulls Max upright and begins to bring her out of the room. 'Let's get you cleaned up Maximus.'

The same basin as last night refills with warm water. A camping lantern clicks on, casting weird shadows from it's place on the bath edge. Dipping into basin, Max starts cleaning her upper lip, working downward. Chloe stands behind the smaller girl, embracing her from behind, worry painting her features very pale in the artificial light.

'You know I can do this on my own Chlo.'

'I know. It's just... crap. I'm super worried right now and I need to try and help.' The bluenette breaks eye contact in the mirror, looking away. 'Even if I can't.'

'You're helping.'

'How?'

'Keeping me warm.'

A sneaky kiss causes Max to flinch.

'Crap. Cheek still hurt?'

'Yeah.'

'That was really dumb last night. We are going to have a real talk about that soon.'

'...sure.'

The silence is back.

_I am getting so tired of living in my head._

Finishing up, and leaving another bloody rag in the sink, the two head down stairs. The smell of something like coffee, though not quite the same, greets them at the bottom landing.

Kate and Victoria loiter around the much cleaner kitchen counter, silent except for the groans of pleasure due to the hot beverages they both sip. The little string peaking from Kate's mug proudly displays 'Earl Grey' while Victoria is spooning in more sugar into her instant coffee-like concoction. The teakettle is already whistling, signaling to Max that this morning is on track to get better.

'So, Max, feeling better?'

'Yeah Katie. I'll talk in a minute. First, tell me the coffee is drinkable.'

Victoria seems to have finally settled on her calories-to-caffeine ratio. 'Enough sugar and it's will do the trick.'

'Sweet.' _Why did I just pun?_

Two cups later and all four are standing by the kitchen island, basking in the combined steam. 'Max, you good now?'

'Yeah...' Sip. 'Screwed-up dream is all.'

'Like, dream-dream, or vision-dream?'

'A, uh, vision...'

Two pairs of eyes stare at her expectantly. Victoria, for some reason, couldn't look up.

'It's pretty fuzzy. I remember pieces. Not the whole thing, but I do remember a few things. It was still at the lighthouse. And color was all messed up. Red and blue, back and forth. Like I kept changing eyes on one of those old 3-D glasses.'

Chloe steps in. 'You mean what, exactly?'

'Remember how I said everything looked red?'

Kate nods along.

_Yeah, she saw the first one._

'It kept alternating between a red and blue tint. Or maybe it was both at the same time.'

Victoria mouths that last to herself. _Same time..._

'Yeah, I know. Sounds weird. But think of it as... as a double exposure. I could see both versions of the world. When I focused on one, I saw it. But the other remained there.'

_I sound flat out crazy._

'I- don't know how to better explain it. It was, like, competing visions.' A look of trepidation stares back from the three girls. Or at least two of them. 'Vicky, what's wrong?'

'I just-' She shakes, starting with her head but rolling down her whole body. 'I just don't know how this sh- stuff can be real. Stopping time, visions of the future. It seems...'

'Like a B-movie plot.'

'Yeah. Made for TV.'

_I thought she believed._

'I mean, come on Max. Would you believe me if I said I could control your fate.'

 _Wait, when did fate enter the equation?_ 'Vicky, who said I control fate?'

Worry colors Victoria's face. _And even some... anger?_

'Max, be serious. You get to redo the same thing over and over. You get people to respond exactly how you want. We do exactly what you want. You get infinite tries to set everyone on the path you choose.'

_No._

'It's not like that! I'm not-'

A mug is slammed on the kitchen counter. 'Max! It's exactly like that!' A hand is shrugged off her shoulder. 'I will not stop, Kate.' Refocusing on Max, she continues. 'Max, you get to make all the choices around her. We're fucking puppets.'

_That's not what I do._

'You're a god.'

_That's not who I am._

Chloe tries to rescue Max from the onslaught. 'Chase, dial it back. You know Max isn't like that.' Protectively stepping in front of the brunette. 'You're making Max sound like some sort of monster.'

'I never said monster. I said god. She controls our fates.'

_I am not..._

'You have already told me how you and Max _convinced_ Frank to give you information, or got into the principal's office. How Max saved Kate...'

'Yeah? We did good. You think Kate not jumping was a bad thing?'

'No. _That's_ not my point. My point is, when having a conversation or needing something or... anything Max is doing, she has no limits. _Max_ doesn't ever have to face consequences.'

A small voice steps forward with it's owner from behind Chloe's back. 'Yes I do.'

_She doesn't get it._

'I have to deal with all the world I left behind.'

_She only sees me erasing time._

'I may not have the outside repercussions to deal with...'

_She doesn't understand I keep that time with me._

'But I have to deal with it all. _I remember_. The only thing in life we have are memories. That's who we are. _You_ don't have to deal with the dark room, or killing your friends, or that shit-stain touching you. _I do_. I can't-' Max's hand, of it's own volition, covers her mouth before she can say more.

'What? None of that happened. You got away with so much-'

The ringing intrusion of Kate's hand interrupts the argument.

Fortunately, it's the counter that receives the blow.

'Vicky! Really, you don't understand! You don't get it, for a minute, what Max went through. What she's still going through. Darn it, what do you think this is to her? To us? A game?'

Taking a step back, Victoria sours. 'Kate, you don't get it-'

Again a crack on the counter. 'What I get is that _you_ didn't understand everything that happened last night.' Kate steps around to place an arm around Max, protective. 'Max literally bled to get her. She saw people dying in front of her, people she loves, over and over. She -'

'SHE KILLED COURTNEY!'

The silence rings, the accusation repeating itself.

A moment to calm.

'She killed Courtney. And Warren, Brooke. Daniel. Stella. Four hundred people.' A finger. A cementing of the accusation. 'She killed so many people for _her_. How is Chloe more important than four hundred and thirty one people. Or a hundred. Or twenty. Or even just one. Who the fuck is _Max_ to decide who lives and dies?'

She rounds on Max.

'Who are you that you get to choose fucking life and death? What gives you the right?'

_no one_

'You have this power and you just let people die.'

_i wasn't given the chance_

'You killed all those people. Now what? Anyone who gets in your way, you just arrange things so they're gone?'

_i don't want to choose anymore_

'Am I going to have an unfortunate accident one day?'

_i don't want this_ _responsibility_

'Because I am not going to let you do something like that again.' Victoria steps forward, ignoring the cringe flowing from Kate and the fury boiling from Chloe. 'Even if it kills me, I won't let you do something like that again without trying to stop you.'

'i had no choice.'

'Oh, you had a choice! You could have saved all those people!'

'and killed anyway.'

Max finds her reason, here. She finds out why she chose this path. The words of last nights dream ring in her ears, briefly illuminating in their meaning.

And then gone. Except for a spark of that knowledge.

_How do I put it into words?_

'Victoria. I have this power. I have it, whether it was given to me or I've always had it and it just... awoke. I used it. Unconscious at first, but I used it even when I knew it screwed things up. People got hurt. People died. I did it for one reason.'

'Don't give me that love bullsh-'

'No! I did it to save another life. Chloe. I chose to save Chloe. Do I regret other people died? Of course.' Max turns her head to stare the bluenette in the eyes. Borrowing strength. 'I'm never going to have an easy night's sleep again. I will never be free from a day without the pain of the people I k-killed.'

'You should be locked up for-'

'I didn't just sit there and push a button! I didn't pull a damn trigger! I fought against whatever sent the goddamn Storm! Think it through!' Max takes a step toward her _(a_ _dversary? enemy? victim?)_ and tries to push through. 'The Storm was coming to kill the town no matter what. As long as Chloe didn't die in that bathroom the Bay was doomed.'

'Well, yeah. You saved her and stopped the timeline from progressing-'

'No! Before that day. When I saved William. The Storm was still coming. Whales still dying, snow still falling. How could it be some sort of screwed-up butterfly effect if _five years_ of history changed but the future didn't. I changed so much more in the alt reality but things were happening exactly the same way. Jefferson still came here. Nathan still killed Rachel. Kate still got drugged. It wasn't just me stopping that one event that led to the Storm. Something, very specifically, wanted Chloe to die. In that bathroom, at that time. It wanted Nathan to pull that trigger. It wanted... I don't know. I don't know what it wants.' _Shit!_ 'Chloe was dying there too. She died in this world four more times! But it had to be that specifically death that changed everything.'

Reaching into her back pocket, Max pulls out a small square. Without hesitation she reaches past the pixie blonde to slap it on the counter.

'Look at this!'

Two smiling young girls, barely in their teen years, smile toward the photographer. Full of happiness and innocence. Full of joy.

No loss or anger to mar their expression.

'This is the photo I used to travel back five years. I burned it. It should be less than ash now. But that's not the most fucked-up part.'

Deep breath. Exhale. Another breath.

'We found it in my room. My _dorm_ room. When it should have been in the scrapbook upstairs. Or random atoms in the wind. We found it under my bed.'

_This is the proof._

'Something doesn't just want Chloe dead last Monday. It's messing with me. It's causing the whirlpool. It brought the fog. It gave me the first vision before I ever used my powers.'

No ringing in this silence.

'Maxaroni. Maybe it's... I don't get it. Are you saying you really believe someone else is behind all this?'

'It has to be. Something- or someone- has been pushing me all along. Why give me the photo? Why give me the first vision, before I ever entered the bathroom? Why still make the Storm in the alt world? There's no cause for that effect.'

'You're right.'

Victoria is no less angry now. No less ready to throw down against a person she knows there is no chance of defeating.

'You are right. There is a lot more going on with all this. Dammit Max. I still don't like you right now. I don't know if I could ever forgive you. And I most certainly won't forget it. But you aren't the only one to blame. Something did this to us. You were just a tool.'

_wow. so masterfully rude **and** condescending at the same time._

'The why the hell are you here, Chase? If you're going to be hella obnoxious about it all. If you don't like us, if you don't think Max is at fault, why be here?'

'I don't really know!' Hands clench. Frustration pushing in to add to the anger and confusion. 'I know now. I can't walk away. I can't close my eyes to this.'

'Do you wish we never told you?'

'Yes? Maybe. It's just... so much complication has entered my life in the last few days. I don't know what I'm supposed to do.'

_I can relate._

Max realizes she needs to voice this. 'I can relate. How do you think it felt for me? All of a sudden I went from quiet high school to a Scooby-Do episode written by Tarantino. I still have no real idea what's going on.'

'...that is not giving me confidence.'

'And now you know, Vicky. This isn't a straight point to point mystery. Last week is a snarled up pile of string that only unraveled when Chloe **died** and I ended up taped to a chair. I don't think I'd ever know it was that... guy unless he actually showed up.'

'And the Storm.'

 _Yes!_ 'And the Storm. We couldn't figure out the why until it was too late. And, really, we still don't know all the whys.' _And now the Whirlpool._

'And now the Whirlpool.'

 _She's reading my mind._ 'Yeah. And we know it's not my fault.'

'...it could be...' Kate looks sideways at Max, apologetic. 'I mean, it could be more stuff, you know, overflowing from last week.'

'I... I don't think so. I think... last week wrapped itself up. I didn't do anything to time until I proved it to you, Victoria.'

No response.

'So if the Whirlpool was my fault I had to of done something. And I know I didn't do anything. It all started before I started using my powers again.'

Still no response.

'And all that points to is someone else with powers. Powers that are probable just like mine.'

And now...

Still nothing.

'Girls, you have to give me something here.'

A pair of arms snake themselves around Max's torso, clutching across her stomach. There is a tremble to them, the body tense against her back. Chloe whispers in her ear, audible to everyone but barely so.

'Max. That's terrifying.'

_What?_

The look on the other two faces confirms the sentiment.

'W-what do you mean Chlo?'

Kate answers. 'Max, I- I think you've established how powerful you are.'

_I mean, yeah... But I have my limits._

'Imagine you without the restraint.'

_...whoa..._

'Yeah. Max, you saved me. I'll always trust you. But...'

_Yeah, but..._

'How do we stop someone like you?'

_Shit. Then that girl on the edge with us..._

Max feels weakness enter her knees as puzzle pieces start fitting together. 'I know who- no, I don't know who the other time traveler is. I did see them though.'

_..._

'The FUCK?'

'Victoria...'

'Sorry. But Max, what the... heck do you mean?'

'My vision. I never finished explaining. I saw us at the lighthouse. All of us. The vision changed from step to step, like it wasn't a firm future, or it might have been several parts of the same future. I don't quite remember most of them.'

_I do remember..._

'There was a moment where you and Kate were trying to get me into the lighthouse. And there was a woman there. Brown hair, a little longer than shoulder length. Tan but still light skinned. A bit shorter than Chloe and not as skinny. I didn't... didn't see her face.'

The shaking in the arms enfolding her doesn't abate.

'You were arguing with her, Victoria, I think. And there was the voice. My future voice.'

'What did it say?'

'That I have to decide? I don't get it, not fully. But the future me said that I was choosing but not deciding.'

Fearful, still angry, but now pensive, Victoria mulls the idea aloud. 'Decide? What's the difference? They're the same thing.'

'Obviously not, or I wouldn't be telling myself they were different. I mean, it could be some subconscious thing but I'm not really sure.'

'You mean, not just little subconscious voices in your head, now one of them is working against you.'

'i really hope not.'

'Hang on, though. What about the girl?'

'I don't know. If there is a second traveler, she probably knows something. Or is the person we're up against.'

_Why does it feel like Chloe's trying to shake me apart?_

'Chlo, what's wrong?'

Instead of answering, the bluenette retreats. The click of her boots sounds loud as she paces for a moment behind Max before head to the front door. 'I need a smoke.'

Three confused and scared girls stand in the kitchen, trading looks. Picking up her and Chloe's mugs, Max takes them over to the sink and rinses them out. 'I'll get her. Just... get ready to head out.'

The front of the house looks exactly the same, ruined by the small patches of destruction. The wall of fog still stands against the outside world. It's thinner, though, as it's slowly burned off by the sun. _At this rate, the fog should be gone in a few hours._

'Chloe, what happened?'

Turning, her cigarette hanging from the side of her mouth. Hands in pockets. Slightly angled towards Max. 'It's just... no one's tried to kill me before.'

A deep pull of her smoke colors her words the same haze as the surrounding backdrop.

'Don't get me wrong, I haven't been a saint. But in the last week three different guys have tried to shoot me. Hell, they all did shoot me. They killed me. If it wasn't for you... blah blah blah. But.'

Another pull.

'Max, people came after you because of me. Nathan, Jeffershit, they attacked you because of what I was doing. You wouldn't have been on that sadists radar if it wasn't for me.'

'Chlo-'

'Meanwhile all the people trying to kill me were doing it because of what I did. Frank shot me because I pulled a gun on him. Nathan because I blackmailed him. That shit because I was so bent on revenge. I'm the reason I keep dying.'

Glassy eyes finally meet Max's. No tears fall, but they want to.

'And now we find out that isn't even the whole story. Sure, I piss people off and I can be hella hard to deal with, but some stranger? Some random bitch wants me dead? No reason why, just that someone broke space and time to try to kill me.'

'Chlo, this isn't the first time I've brought this up.'

'Yeah, but it's the first time I've believed you. Too much of it seems to make sense. And that terrifies me.'

Now the water falls.

'Someone wants to kill me. And I don't even know why. Someone with powers like yours, someone who can cause natural disasters. Someone who didn't just try to get me killed, but tried to have someone murder me.'

The trembling of the taller girl threatens to break her apart. Max embraces her. Grounding her. Forcing the shaking to subside.

'I don't know what to do Max.'

_Neither do I. Not yet._

'And that's not the only thing. Your visions. Do you remember anything else?'

'Uh, no? Nothing else.'

'Then I think we have a problem. Because you never said I was there. And if I'm not there, I'm probably dead.'


	23. Drama

**_* Tuesday, 9:15 a.m., After the Funeral *_ **

The wall of fog has lost ground in the hours since the sun rose. Much thinner, the trees are almost visible with no major loss of definition. They are still draped with wisps of the fog, though, still reminding Max of what the future has in store for her.

_Shrouded but present. If only my visions had half as much information..._

'The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the future is.'

 _Seriously?_ 'Really poor timing on that one, Warren.'

'...Sorry.'

The quartet head out past the dorms towards the cafeteria, once again trying to satisfy their individual hungers. Sadly, breakfast at school is not going to remedy that for them.

'Pancakes and no syrup. Eggs and no bacon. Oatmeal and no fruit. Are we savages?'

 _Gotta cool Victoria's heals._ 'Calm down. If you really are going to complain so much, lets just head out for breakfast.'

'Yeah, let's hit up the diner.'

_Batting a thousand, Warren._

Kate rescues Max from explaining. 'Um, Warren? That's where Joyce works...'

'Oh.' And then- 'OH. Crap, sorry Max.'

'N-no worries. I just- I'll have some yogurt. You three go have a real breakfast.'

_Not that I'm going to have much of an appetite now._

Kate grabs her arm. 'No. Let's get some food and eat.' She guides Max to the serving line. 'And, please, eat something more than yogurt.'

_I'm not hungry-_

On reflex, the boil-over from yesterday upsets Max's equilibrium.

_No. They care about you. Don't be a bitch._

'Okay. How about a banana too..?'

Kate eyes her, narrowed eyes but a smirk dancing on her lips. 'Fine. But don't complain to me later when you're still hungry.'

Food attained. Seats found. Meal begun.

Whispers and side-glances from nearby tables.

'What is going on with everyone?'

Warren fields the question. 'They are wondering why a nerd like me, quiet girls like you and Max, and social queen Victoria, are doing socializing like we're all buddy-buddy.'

'Oh...'

'Don't worry. The only reputation that will suffer is Victoria's. Hell, I probably got two levels just by being seen with three women at once.'

'Har-har, Warren. But don't worry Kate. That's the sort of sacrifice I'll make for friendship.'

The conversation is low-key and halting for the quartet. Without the pressure of time travel, no one seems to know what to say.

_It is going to be hard for us all to get to a friendly place. If we're all meant to be friends._

Warren makes a math joke. Victoria casts an insult that would have been funny if you realize she's sarcastic. Max tries to break some more ice between them all with talk about music.

_Are we just... business?_

Everyone gets quiet. Chewing and distant conversations.

_Is the only thread me and my problems?_

Kate pulls out her phone and starts giggling. Leaning over to Victoria to show off what's so funny. It makes the trip around.

The simplest of things. A kitten in an unfortunate situation.

Laughter quietly issues around the table.

And Victoria restarts the conversation.

'I can't believe they ran out of syrup.' She shovels in another spoonful of oatmeal, trying to finish before the bland taste catches up with her. 'Like, do they even realize how much sugar I need to get going in the morning?'

Warren takes a sip of juice to clear his throat. 'At least the eggs weren't cold today.'

A sip of something black and bitter for Max. 'Maybe they'll get the coffee right some day too.'

A discussion around the table, focusing mostly on classes and school gossip, kicks in.

_At least we don't have more awkward silence._

Taylor and Courtney come over.

_And there goes any chance of silence._

'What's up bitches?'

'Taylor...'

'Sorry Katie.'

_Wait, what? Is she, like, part of the in crowd now?_

Victoria gives Taylor a light smack to the shoulder as she sits while Courtney slides in next to Kate.

'So, what is up? Feels like I haven't seen you in days, Tori.'

'What? We were hanging yesterday.'

'The caf and class don't count.' She eyes Max across the table. 'If I didn't know any better I'd think you were shrieking us.'

'Shirking.'

'Whatevs.' A distasteful smirk upsets her left cheek. 'I almost expect to hear about a new bad influence in your life.'

'Be cool, Tay-Tay.'

'Oh, we're cool. Right, Court?'

'Yup.'

_Whoa_ _. Some serious Mean Girl shit going on here._

Victoria tries to step back into her Queen Bee role. 'Look Taylor. If you have a problem you can come to me later-'

'Later when? When do you have free time these days? Last week, sure, we gave you space. But you start hanging out with...'

Max's anger rises a bit too high to remain silent anymore. 'You better watch what you say, Taylor.'

Courtney lets out a repressed giggle. 'Whoa, the hipster's got teeth. That has to be the biggest rise I've ever seen outta you Max.'

Taylor's smile is gone now, and the glint in her eye promises unpleasantness for Max. 'Tori, we do have a problem. But it isn't just you.' A finger jabs across the table. 'You are really pissing me off.'

_What the hell did I do?_

'I get the whole be-nice-to-Kate, it's not her fault Nathan went to jail. But the pariah, and now her geeky boyfriend? Seriously Tori, what's wrong with you?'

_Not Kate's fault... what the fuck? This bitch-_

'Seriously, what do you see in them? Sure, you could cheat off Warren. Katie's sweet but... you need to feel better, taking care of her? And Max does what, exactly? Shit, it's her bitchy ex-girlfriend that-'

'Taylor, you better walk away right now.'

Everyone turns to Warren.

'I don't know what you think you're doing right now but you better just walk away. You are making light of some really messed up stuff. I'm not going to let you talk like this to them any more. If you knew half of it...'

'What, Warren? I'd see what saints you are? Puh-lease. All this messed-up-stuff is because of that bitch blackmailing-'

Hands hit table as Warren stands, leaning in front of Victoria to stare directly into Taylor's eyes.

'Walk. Away. Now.' And a bit belated. 'Please.'

No more words to exchange. The quality of anger in Warren's voice sees to that. Both the girls leave as abruptly as they arrived.

And Warren deflates. His hands shake a little before calming.

_Wow. He was... intense._

Looking around at the three girls still slack-jawed after his low-key outburst, a familiar sheepish grin appears before his cheeks burn red. 'Uh, sorry.'

Kate gets up and plants a kiss in the middle of his forehead. 'Don't be. That was amazing.'

If anything, he turns a deeper shade. 'I didn't mean... She just made me so... Victoria, I'm sorry how I treated your friends.'

The pixie blonde, quiet up to now, shakes out a negative before finding the words. 'Don't. You didn't say anything wrong. Really, it should have been me to put a stop to that... to her. I'm just- I'm the one who should be sorry.'

Max steps in before any more time can pass. 'Guys, you know I can always...' She makes a backwards motion with her two hands.

'No, let it be.'

'You sure Vicky?'

'Yeah.' With more confidence. 'Yeah. She was out of line and deserves a smack down. Hel- Uh, heck, I deserved it more than a few times.'

'Oh, stop saying that Vicky.'

'No Kate. I was a royal bi- uh, snob. I still am. And I always tried to own it. It just took a long times for me to see it, you know, from this side.'

'Vicky, don't be so down-'

'Nope. We had this conversation. If things change I'll let you know.'

Kate beams at her, then turns her light towards Max. 'Told you. No difference.'

_Between acting and being good..._

'Maybe you got me there.'

'Huh, what are you talking about?'

'Nothing Victoria. Don't worry.'

'Max, tell me now or I'll torture Kate later.'

'Be nice. It's just something Kate and I were discussing the other day.'

'About me.'

In an obviously false enthusiastic voice Kate butts in, derailing the conversation. 'HEY! Wasn't Warren so manly and attractive!'

_Never change Kate._

'Wh-what? No I wasn't! I was just, like, angry. And stuff.'

Victoria, in spit of her desire to pursue the previous conversation, leaps on the Warren-embarrassment train. 'No, she's quite right. You were very manly, defending our honor.'

_Like a lioness on a gazelle._

'Warren, your testosterone must be at an all-time high. You should go ask Brooke out. Right. Now.'

_What?!_

'What?!' Like a deflating balloon, Warren tries to fold in on himself. The stutter of his voice. The downturn of his eyes.

_It's like he's a cartoon character._

'I- I don't know- Like, what do I even-'

'Just go up to her and ask her out.'

_Victoria, subtle like a house fire._

'But, you know, I've never done that before.'

'Yeah you have. After class on Monday. You wanted to "go ape" at the drive in.'

_Awe! He's going to do the anime thing where his nose bleeds and he falls over!_

A mumbling issues from him.

'What did you say?'

'I guess you said no.'

_Crap! Too far with the teasing!_

'Well, Warren, I guess, uh, you realize by now I'm, you know. Kinda gay.'

_Kinda a cop out, don't you think?_

_Don't start now._

_Tell him how you **really** felt._

'I mean, before I really knew that, I- Well, I always just thought of you as a friend.'

_Perfect! Friend zone barriers activated._

'Uh, thanks Max.'

'Warren, don't be like that. I just don't see you romantically.' _Turn this around, I'm utterly destroying his self-esteem._ 'Besides, it didn't take you too long to get over it. You asked Brooke out the next day.'

Victoria can't remain silent. 'Wow, you little sh- player. Not even twenty four hours?'

Warren tries to mount a defense. 'Well, it's not like I was only into Max. I mean, Brooke's super cute too.'

'Too?'

'I mean...'

Victoria is unrelenting. 'We know what you mean. Just, really. Courting two girls at once?'

 _That's not fair._ 'He's perfectly fine pursuing other people. What, I said no but still want him waiting in case I change my mind?'

It's still obvious how embarrassed Warren feels. 'Gee, thanks.'

'Warren, I may not like you like _that_ , for all the reasons you know. Doesn't mean there isn't someone else.' A knowing smirk plays across her face. 'I can almost guarantee there's someone else.'

'Really? I mean, really Brooke?'

'Dude, master of space-time here.' Max raises her hands to her temples, adding a bit of theatrics. 'I see... I see a future. Where you ask out Brooke and she says yes. I see a nice drive up north. I see potential snuggles.'

The redness recedes from his cheeks, and a thoughtful whist sets in his eyes. A shake of his head grounds him back. 'Two issues though.'

_What now?_

'I, uh. It feels like cheating. Like, like insider trading. Isn't that a bit dishonest?'

Kate, after keeping herself so quiet, was almost forgotten. 'Brooke has been into you for, like, forever. I'm pretty sure you're the only one not seeing it.'

'Okay, fine. I-I'll ask her out. I'll do anything to stop this conversation. But the other thing. Friday...'

_Oh. The Whirlpool. Storm 2.0. Yeah, talk about a mood killer. How do I-_

'What, you think the world is ending so you stop living?'

_Katie?_

'Just because of what _might_ happen? Gosh, the stuff that could happen is immeasurably more complicated than just Max's vision. If all you worry about is the 'ifs' you'll never live.'

A breath.

'You can't live your life in the future. Or the past, for that matter. Just the present. The past teaches you right from wrong. It gives you wisdom. That's what I learned. I can't keep letting the past dictate my actions.'

Her eyes become glassy.

'But you can't give the future power over you either. If all you do is look where you're going you'll just trip where you are. Don't ignore your future, buy don't try to control it. And definitely don't fear it.'

There's something going on with her. Something about this speech wearing Kate out. Warren doesn't seem to notice. Instead he finishes his coffee. Stands.

'I'm... gonna go and... find Brooke.'

He stares at the trio for a minute, though it's the table that seems to have most of his attention. With the universal guy head-shake for 'thank you', he leaves.

Kate stands up right after his departure, mumbling about a 'powder room'.

After.

'What's wrong with Kate?'

'Seriously Max?'

'Yeah. I know _what's_ wrong. But that was weird. A bit... fatalistic, maybe. Something is up. Some new shit.'

'I agree. She was intense.'

Coffee is sipped in silence.

'Friday is getting closer.'

'Yup.'

'We have to start figuring out who that woman is you saw.'

'Yup.'

'You're awful calm about this whole this.'

'Yup. Like Kate said, gotta live in the moment. Can't worry too much about the future, gotta just do your best right now.' Another sip. 'Maybe I'll freak out when the caffeine hits.'

_Wow, you really missed that opening._

_Huh?_

_Victoria didn't bury the lead all that deep, you just walked right over it._

_What are you talking about?_

_You'll figure it out as you and Vicky discuss the woman from the vision._

_Yup._

_THE HELL?!_

Spit-takes are rarely seen outside romantic comedies. It's hard to get the timing correct for a laugh or realization to coincide with a mouth full of liquid.

Victoria gets to experience it first hand.

'What do- how do you know about the woman already?'

Dabbing at the few drops on her blouse, the pixie blonde smirks that knowing smirk Max absolutely hates. The one with the hint of teeth.

'You talked in your sleep.'

_This is so unfair._

'I'm getting so tired of you reading my mind.'

'It's not too hard.'

'Har-har.' Another sip, to replace the lost one. 'So, what blanks do you have?'

'I don't know. All you kept saying was that you need to decide and that you need to find the brunette girl.'

_No gun. No weird FM talk. No cliff-side conflict._

'I uh, don't remember much else. Except the, uh, the FM conversation. But most of that was a bit too confusing for me to really follow. The crux of it was about choices and decisions.'

_How was it phrased?_

'You decide on the destination, you choose a path. If that makes sense.'

'It... sorta does. Like, you want to be a photographer, or an artist. That's the destination. So you choose your schools, pick your subjects, all that stuff. Path versus goal.'

_That was way to simple._

'It was deeper than that. The analogy works, but Future Max kept insisting all I do is choose and never decide. It's totally unfair. I _decided_ to save everyone. I _decided_ to let Chlo-'

 _Nope. Not right now._ 'Max, maybe... maybe not. Maybe you were only choosing from options. Maybe FM knows something about your power you don't yet. Maybe it's something... else.'

_Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Only took someone spelling the whole thing out._

_Why are you so jaded today?_

_This is the 'you' you have to look forward to today!_

_You kinda suck._

_No. **You** kinda suck. Almost literally._

'What could the else be?'

'I don't know. It has to be something we can figure out soon, though. The other hints FM gives you aren't too hard to decode.'

Further discussion is put on hold as Kate returns. A very unusual expression graces her face.

 _She's pissed? Like Vicky covered in paint pissed. Or when her mom said..._ 'What happened? Is it your mom?'

Sitting with an expulsion of breath and stress, the nod confirms Max's suspicions.

'She's been texting me all morning. I didn't even know she knew how. Anyway, it's all about how I'm being ungrateful towards her and I'm setting a bad example for my sisters. She wants an apology for yelling at my father.'

Her volume begins to rise.

'And I already talked to him! I apologized. He did too. He's fine with it. If anything, he understands where I'm coming from. And my sisters... I mean, why do they even know I argued with Father? It has nothing to do with them.'

Still rising volume.

'So I told her. Told her that I'm not sorry about how I talk to her. Not sorry for my _attitude_. That if she has a problem, too bad. So, you know what she says. _Don't come home_. Just now, on the phone. Don't come home until I am _contrite_. Until I _know my role_. Her exact words!'

Standing, to match her agitation.

'It's bullshit!'

The cafeteria isn't too crowded. Maybe a dozen other students, mostly underclassmen. But when the religious girl curses in public, even when it's not too loud, heads turn.

_Just... out in the open and everything?_

Kate's anger hasn't subsided.

_And she isn't cringing at the attention._

'Katie! Please, sit. Max and I are here. We'll help. Let's just talk about it.'

Finally the spectacle she is creating hit the petite girl. She sits with a thud, arms crossed and refusing to make eye contact.

'Katie, we're... we're here. We will help. Vicky and I may not be blood but we are your family. We are here to help you with this stuff.'

Wet eyes, but that's it. No crying, no shaking, no tension in her body. Like a rag doll.

'I know. I know you're here. I just need... I don't know. Just really need some air right now.'

'Want some company?'

'No. Just want some alone time. I'll see you in class later.' A hesitation as she stands up, pushing in the chair. 'We'll- talk later.'

The silence left in her wake is disproportionate to the usual volume of her presence.

'We shouldn't be worried, right?'

'I don't know, Max.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Aside:
> 
> So, updates have been sporadic. A combination of typing ona phone, retail small-business chaos during Christmas season, and a general inability to figure out the bridge between where this story is going and where it stands has made it a bit difficult. This was actually going to be a Christmas update but, finally finished, I decided it's better to be early instead of fretting over it for the next three days. Anyway, the season of buying is almost over so I expect to have more time to dedicate to my writing. Season's greetings and happy new year.


	24. Dread

**_* Tuesday, Still Morning, After the Storm *_ **

'I'm probably dead.'

_No._

'There's no way I wouldn't be there with you.'

_No no no no_ no

'It'll be just like the... the Room all over-'

_NO!_

Stop.

Stop the breeze. Stop the chill. Stop sound, sky, sticky sweat. Stop words and heartbeats and this moment of-

Eyelids painfully closed. The embrace more one-sided but stronger than ever. A fire in her shoulders and back from tension. Still not as tight as the fear gripping her.

Max forgets she's holding her breath. The expulsion of poisonous air slightly, ever so slightly, relaxes her.

_Can't let go._

She grips her bluenette statue tighter still.

_Won't._

The pain in her head starts to build. She's holding the moment for too long.

_Won't. Give. Her. Up._

Too much.

The breeze kisses her wet cheeks and lips.

'-again.' Chloe leans back, trying to look at Max without letting go. 'We need to- what the fuck? Why are you..?'

_What's wong?_

'Max, your nose. Did you see something or- or did you travel?'

_Oh._ 'N-no. Just... just paused time. It was... It was reflex. I was just scared.'

'Dammit.' Reaching in her pocket Chloe pulls out a travel pack of tissues. 'You can't just use your powers.' A dab at Max's cheeks before aggressive administration to her mouth. 'What if we actually need you in an emergency?'

_What's with the inquisition?_ 'Chlo, I know. I'm fine. I just needed a moment to collect myself.'

'Your power's too important to waste on little stuff.'

'I'm sorry. I freaked, it wasn't on purpose.'

'You have to protect yourself. When I'm not around-'

'I said I'm sorry!'

The sun continues to slowly burn away the unnatural fog surrounding Arcadia Bay.

'What more do you want Chloe? What more can I give?'

The light dims between the two young women.

'You can start by taking better care of yourself.'

'I've been too worried with you!'

'Stop worrying! Hell, I'm older than you!'

'Then act like it!'

Mud kicks up from the bluenette's pacing.

'Damn, Max! I know where this is going.'

'Fine, you tell me then.'

'You don't think I'm actually responsible enough to take care of myself.'

'I think you and responsibility are on opposite ends of the spectrum. You don't seem to understand there are repercussions for your actions.'

That stops Chloe mid step. 'Harsh. That's just mean. And I wouldn't be too high and mighty if I were you.'

'What?'

'You're hella flaky. Takes you forever to decide on anything. At least I commit.' A pause before a whisper. 'Maybe time travel is what you needed. Maybe the only way to get you to do something is when you have a one hundred percent chance of getting a do-over. Maybe that's the only way to get you to do anything.'

'Forget this. I cam be decisive. Shit, we're dating, for Dog's sake!'

'Because you can take it back.'

A person won't see it. Won't touch it. But a wall now stands between them. Some words aren't supposed to be said in anger. Some dark thoughts aren't supposed to be voiced.

'Max. You don't even realize it. You raised your right hand almost as soon as we started arguing. You want to undo all this, right? That's what you've always done. You run. You wait until things blow over. You never faced a problem head on until you got these powers because now you got this safety net.'

Chloe steps towards the younger girl. Her face is stern but her eyes... They just show pain. Not for herself, or for Max. A combination of both, and more thrown in besides.

'What happens when _we_ get to be too much for you? You want my friendship, you need to deal with my ugliness. That's how a damn relationship works. You can't edit the bad out of life. And you can't keep us perfectly safe.'

Hands reach for arms, though the left hand first lowers Max's outstretched right. The brunette seems to vibrate between those palms.

'Sometimes I will get hurt. Someday I will die. Sometimes the person hurting me will be you. You can't keep fighting it. You can't keep burning the world for me.'

Mumbles answer accusations.

'What?'

'you are my world'

'Oh, God. I know. And you are mine. But there's more than us. We aren't the only people in our world.'

'i don't need anyone else'

'Yes, you do. You need more people and bad days and awkward conversations and loss. People need the darkness to see the good around them.'

'i won't lose you'

'I never want to leave you. But we're going to argue. We will not like each other from time to time. And we will get hurt and be hurt.'

Chloe is finally embracing the smaller girl, swaying slightly.

'What did you say the other night? The people you love the most hurt you the most. And it's killing me seeing you hurt yourself over me.'

'i'm not'

'Yes you are. Just now. Last night with Victoria. You're numb and in pain at the same time. You want to be punished. You want to hurt. Why?'

'because...'

An expectant look.

'because i deserve it'

'No you-'

'Yes I do. I let... so many die. For you. For us. Mostly for me.

'Uh, explain.'

'I was so selfish. You were standing there, asking me to... to kill you. To let you go. Save everyone and let you go. I couldn't. I still won't. Even now, knowing all the destruction, I won't. I can't let you go. I can't let you get hurt.'

'Max, you can't always stop that.'

'I know! It's driving me insane knowing that! All this, all this death! And I can still lose you. I might lose you tomorrow, or Friday, or next week. Why? Why did I kill everyone if you're just going to die? Why did I stain my hand with so much blood for nothing?'

Finally the dam breaks. Finally the emotions surface. But the reason for it is still... elusive.

'Chloe, I still can't cry for them. I still can't cry for Warren! I still don't... care. It... bothers me. Not even that I don't care. I know, in my heart, it should. It bothers me that I don't care about not being... sad. Not being broken up or regretful or just friggin terrified that I'm so numb about everything. Except you. All I have is you.'

'That's- that's not all you have.'

'Yeah, what else?'

'Your parents. Your friends. Kate, Juliet, Dana, Vic-'

'I'm pretty sure Victoria doesn't think we're friends.'

'Fine. My mom, even David. You have a whole bunch of other people in your life. People who love you.'

'People who will disappoint me. Only you never do that. I can only count on you. You taught me that. Rachel, Will-'

'You better fucking stop right there.'

So Max stops everything.

It's getting easier to do so.

_Why is she so pissed? The only time I ever saw her like this before was when we were after Nathan._

_Because you have refused to listen to yourself for the last few minutes._

The directness and breadth of her own response startles her.

'Was that you, FM?'

_Yup._

'It's so fucking weird thinking answers to my own questions.'

_Keep it verbal, it helps me._

'Sure.'

The stress of the pause is much less. Even the one just earlier was easier. No staggering or falling. No pain until her stamina wore off.

_As you use your power, it gets easier. Like a muscle._

'So I should train?'

_That was part of our problem. We did too much. Grew too much. It hurts those near us._

'Fine, go cryptic again. And what did you mean, refusing to listen? I'm the one talking.'

_You hear and don't listen._

'More choose and decide bullshit?'

_Nope. Now listen to yourself._

**_You d_** ** _on't seem to understand there are repercussions._** Because you, Max, only believe you know what to do.

**_I d_** ** _on't need anyone else._** Because you are blinding yourself to those around you.

**_I deserve it._ ** _Because you think you should be punished._

**_I c_** ** _an't cry for Warren._** Because you don't feel the guilt.

_**I still don't care.** _ _Because you think only you and Chloe matter._

'Sure, it looks bad out of context-'

_It's exactly the same._

'-but there isn't anything wrong with me.'

_Are you sure?_

'What? What the fuck are you implying?'

_Who are you sounding like?_

'Wh-what?'

_Nathan._

And the moment breaks.

'I can't believe you brought up- Shit, really? Again? You rewind, pause, or what? What is so damn-'

Finally the scene on Max's face catches her eye.

'What's wrong? Max, tell me what's wrong? Are- are you hurt?' Chloe examines the brunette for injury. Finding none does not decrease her worry. 'Max, say something. I'm here. We're safe. Come on Max, come back to me. I'm here for you.'

The vacancy in Max's face softens as her mind refocus's on the outside.

'Chlo.'

'Dammit. What happened? You scared the shit out of me.'

'Chlo. I'm not.'

'Not what?'

'I'm not him.'

The confusion is physical.

'Who, Max? Not who?'

'I'm not him.' And again. 'I'm not him.' And again. 'I'm not him.' A plead or prayer. No longer to Chloe. 'I'm not him. I don't hurt for fun or pleasure. I'm not obsessive. I'm not crazy. I'm not him.'

_Yes you are._

'I'm not psychotic. I don't hurt people.'

_Actually you're winning by a couple hundred on that front._

'I don't take pleasure from pain. I don't want that pain or control.'

_You wanted pain last night. You crave it. Makes you feel. And don't even pretend you don't want control._

'I'm not him. I don't want to be in control.'

_Want, maybe. But you really need it now. Your whole life is about it._

'I don't need approval.'

_You need it from her. From them. Even Vicky. Think about that. She knew Nathan best. Maybe she doesn't trust you because you remind her of him. Maybe she can use you to replace him._

'I'm not him.'

'Who!'

'Not Nathan. Never him.'

Max finally talks to Chloe, directly.

'I'm not like him, Che. I'm not crazy. I'm not sadistic. I'm not bad.'

'Max, please calm. No one said that.'

Emphatic denial. 'I thought that. Future me thought that.'

'Fuck that! You're tripping if you think that's true.'

'It's me, Chlo! It's me talking to me. What did I- what will I do that makes her think that? What could I do to hate myself so much?'

'Forget that vengeful bitch. The you right now can change that. The you right now can do better.'

'How? I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I did to even create her.'

A voice from the front door enters into the conversation. 'You are not him. You could never be like him.'

'Chase, please be-'

'Quiet Chloe.' Stepping carefully through the muddy yard, Victoria approaches the two girls. 'Max, you can't be like him. There may be similarities between you two but they are at best superficial.' A lean inward with a wagging of eyebrows, so unlike Victoria as to be comical, takes a few hits against the tension. 'And I know superficial things.'

'You cheeky little bit-'

'Be nice, Price.' She grabs Max's sleeve, both parting them and ushering them inside. 'Come in. Arcadia Bay might be a little bit of a ghost town but it's still too early to be arguing outside.'

The hallway is mostly clear, a couple of Victoria's shoe boxes by the front door. Movement sounds from upstairs. 'Katie's getting ready. Chloe, can you, um, give her a hand?'

'Sure.' Combat boots make a racket as she ascends. 'Katie-bug, Alice better be ready for all the petting!'

'So, Max. We'll, uh, we'll clean the kitchen.'

Nearly two minutes go by before Max broach's what's on both their minds. 'So, terrible subtlety aside, what do you want to talk about?'

'Wh-what do you-'

'Vicky, that was pretty obvious just now. You know it, I know it, Chlo knows it. So, want to go another round or what?'

'Max, I don't want to fight anymore.'

'I'm joking. Sorry, poor taste.'

The blonde puts down the single mug she's spent the whole time cleaning.

'I ment it. You're nothing like him.'

_Sure. Just trying to appease you._

'Everything he did was for approval. From his dad, from Jeffershit, from even myself. You do what your heart tells you to do.'

'Cause I'm selfish.'

'Everyone's selfish. It's a survival trait. People who harm others to get what they want are the problem.'

Max rocks back on her heals. She hears an accusation in those words. 'Then I'm a problem. I did all this for Chloe.'

'Well, sorta. And sorta not. Max, I need to ask you something you need to be fully honest about. Not with me, with yourself, and don't rush.'

A steady breath for fortification. 'If you knew, exactly knew, who would die when you saved Chloe, would you still do it?'

Pause.

Not in time. Just the conversation.

'I... I don't know.'

'Then why did you do it before.'

'Because... Because it's Chloe. I knew some people could get hurt. And- and die. I just- I wasn't sure Chlo's death would stop it. I wasn't sure if I could catch Jefferson or if I could save Kate. I only knew I had Chlo, that I spent the last week saving her over and over and we could finally have a chance to end it. That's it. A chance at ending it.'

'So why the problem now?'

'Because I know who gets hurt. And that it's not over. It was pointless.'

'Maybe not. Maybe the whirlpool comes anyway. Maybe the storm does too. Maybe something worse. And it's only now it looks pointless. Still, that's why you can't bee like Nathan. You have morals.'

Max feels, what? _Sick?_

'Max, you are a moral person. Nathan... it's not exactly that he was amoral. For him, social norms were at best suggestions. Morals were for the weak. Just like his father. He really selfish or greedy. He just did what he could to gain prestige, be safe, and be left alone.'

Eye contact to hammer home.

'He never regretted an action because someone else got hurt. He didn't have that humanity.'

The brunette is touched. From hatred to... this. Understanding, maybe. Maybe forgiveness too.

'Why? I thought you didn't trust me. I thought you hated me.'

Feet and laughter slowly descending the stairs.

'Kate asked me what I would do if everything was reversed. I know I would have saved Nathan. And regretted it. I also know as numb as you act, you regret it too. I know a part of you wants to go back.'

A pair of smiling voices sounds from the front door.

Victoria whispers one last thought as she passes Max.

'And I know Nathan wouldn't give a flying fuck about anyone else getting hurt.'


	25. Drowned

_Trigger warning: themes of suicide and self-harm_

**_* Tuesday, Still Not 10 a.m., After the Storm *_ **

'You kids ready to go?'

'Let me... I need to pack a few things, Chlo.'

'Kay, Max.'

Shouldering past Victoria, Max ascends, away from the slight ice in her girlfriend's eyes.

_I guess she's still upset._

_More like pissed._

Her backpack is nowhere to be found in the bedroom. _Just my tote bag then._ There is little to grab. Phone, camera. She will be here tonight anyway.

_Right?_

No response.

_You're in a bitchy mood today, FM._

Down the stairs and out the front door, careful to lock it behind her. Victoria's car is already missing. _Must have went on with Kate, I guess._ Only a rusty pickup truck remains in the drive way, already running. The windows are starting to fog.

_When is this fog going to lift. It's not bad but..._

A shudder runs up and down Max's spine as she stares at the sky. A blue hue has bled into to blanket above.

_What does it hide?_

The chill of the morning air is gone from the truck's interior. _Heater works great, at least._ Chloe grunts in affirmation and pulls onto the street.

_But no eye contact. No smile._

Rolling down the window and lighting a cigarette. Chloe stares intently but glassy at the road ahead.

_Not even a word._

The tension builds as they travel. The wall, when Max... went too far. It's still there.

_How can I even start?_

Smoke done, Chloe immediately pulls another.

'Chlo...'

Flick.

'Chlo, I'm sorry...'

Inhale.

'I didn't mean to...'

Exhale.

'To do what, Max?'

_I don't know._

'What didn't you mean to do? Abuse your powers? Bring up- bring them up? Make an excuse to be selfish?'

'To hurt you.'

Rolling to a stop as a light turns red.

'Well, you did. I just can't believe you used Rachel. And Dad. You used the shit I deal with as an excuse.'

'No, I didn't mean-'

'Doesn't matter. You.' Chloe turns to the brunette. 'You crossed a line, bringing them into this.'

'I'm sorry, I-'

'Max, do you even understand why I'm angry?'

'Because I brought them up.'

'No.'

_No?_

The light turns green. Chloe makes no move to go.

'Max, I spent years using my dad's... his death as an excuse. For why I could behave how I did. For why I could be angry at everything. For why I could hurt people. And... and I knew it. After a while, I knew it. I abused people because, hey, I'm damaged goods. My dad's death was my reason to be a total bitch to David and teachers and- and even my mom. I-'

Ashing to buy time.

'I treated people like shit because at least other people would feel as bad as me.'

'Chlo...'

'Stop.' The harshness of her voice catches Max by surprise. 'No talking. Not yet. I'm sorry, but I have to finish this first.'

The light turns red again.

'I was a mean, spiteful bitch that couldn't be bothered to see that people around me loved me. They wanted to help. And when I started realizing this I couldn't... change. I couldn't _not_ be that bitch. There wasn't an off switch. My reflexes would kick in and I'd hurt someone else.'

Another drag of smoke, another ashing.

'A small part of me cared. Most of me didn't. I had Rachel then. I had someone I chose who saw me and didn't immediately want me to change. Didn't want me to "do the right thing". She just wanted me. As I was, scars and all.'

Green again.

'That's all I wanted, really. Someone to want me to just be... me.' Her eyes glass over. 'But that was a lie. It's what I thought I wanted. The whole time what I wanted, what I really needed, was someone to help me go back. To the person I was before. The one who had Dad. And you.'

The pain Max feels for the young woman is familiar. And sharp. And just as great as the first time.

'You- you left. Not your fault. Not your choice. Your silence, though. That just... added too much. I lost too much at once.' Chloe clasps Max's hand. 'I already forgive you. And I always loved you. Never stopped. But you became another excuse I told myself.'

Red, for a third time. Chloe finally realizes this, pulling over and shutting the car.

'I was the one who broke things. You put them back together. And I was so, so broken.'

'Chlo...'

'I just kept breaking things. And Rachel kept helping me break even more things. I c-couldn't stop.'

'And I came back.'

Nodding. 'And you came back. And I don't want to break anything anymore. I don't want to be so angry. I don't want to fuck up the world anymore. But, inspite of that...'

'I broke the Bay.'

' _We_ broke it. And I can't let that happen again. I can't let any more worlds end because of me.'

She cries, silent tears. Red eyes, red cheeks, stuffy nose. Her voice is all that remains unaffected.

'I know the dark this leads to. I didn't just want to hurt people. I wanted to just hurt. I wanted pain. It's all I thought about. If I had pain, I knew I felt something. And then I found ways to stop that pain. Weed, alcohol. Rachel. It was the only control I felt in my life.'

'God, Chloe.' Max is a mirror of the emotions in Chloe's face. 'Damn. I- I don't know what to say. But, you... you see it, now. You understand why. You can change this.'

A look that could only be described as embarrassment. Or, deeper, shame.

'I, uh, I kinda figured out a lot of this a while ago. At least, I knew I was hurting people on purpose. I knew I wanted people to hurt because I did. I knew it was me, not you, not Dad or Rachel. But the bigger part of me didn't want to change. Didn't care to. Until you came back. I knew, at that moment, I wanted my life to get better. I knew I wanted to make my life worth something. Especially...'

She's conflicted. Hesitant.

'When I woke up next to you. I never did that with anyone but Rachel. My best friends. Never shared a bed, platonic or otherwise. Hell, I never even climbed into my parent's bed growing up. But waking up, next to you, I felt... happy. I wasn't dreading the morning. I stopped being disappointed with waking up. That never happened around Rachel.'

The first sob breaks through.

'I ment what I said the other night. Y-you don't take away my pain. You make me not want to hurt anymore. You m-make me not want to self-destruct. You make me want to be a better person. A whole p-person.'

Her face screwed up in pain, Chloe tries to stop her outpouring. But it doesn't stop. Max crosses the short distance, breaking the wall to embrace her. Willing the bluenette strength.

'I'm seeing you acting l-like me. Like I was. I c-can't let you do that. I can't let you be me.'

That's the last she can say, for now.

Max breaks the silence.

'I don't know how to make this better. I don't know what to do.'

'Just be you. D-don't change. Don't give up who you are.'

'I can't go back. I can't be the old me. I was weak. I couldn't fight against anything as I used to be.'

A chuckle. A good sign. 'Dummy. The reason you're still here is because of the old you. You can't stand bullies. You protect people. You'll go to hell and back for family and friends. You love people, all people. The whole damn world. You always look for good. Victoria. The Queen Bitch of Blackwell. She gave me the cliff-notes of what she said. Because she cares about you, even if she won't admit it. You turned Vicky around in twenty four hours. You have no idea how powerful you are in spite of time control.'

Max refuses to break the hug. Fearful Chloe would see how bright red she's turned. Or the tears in her eyes. Or the fear on her face.

_I'm not this person. She's making me sound like a super hero. Hipster Girl, the emotional balancer._ 'I need you to stay this way. I need you to stay balanced and strong.'

_I am such a wreck. Unhinged. Half crazy._

'Don't let the bad things change you. Don't let hate control you.'

'beware the dark side'

'Don't be fresh.'

'Sure, Yoda.' A giggle. _Thank Dog we can still laugh._ 'But, um. But I still...'

'What?'

'I'm not this person. I still hurt those people. I still killed.'

'No. You saved me. You might think otherwise but there was no way anyone can make the decision you made. You had to do something not just impossible but inhuman. Life, all of it, can't prepare anyone for the cliff face.'

Trembling. The wall between the two may be gone but there were still others around Max. Chloe was picking at one of those walls.

'I didn't care about everyone else. I cared about you. And myself. I don't know how I could ever really forgive myself for what I chose.'

'You don't need forgiveness. Maybe one day, but you aren't going to able to wake-up one day, fixed. You just need to live with it. For now, that's all you can do.'

'I do. I already accepted it.'

'No, Max, you haven't. You've turned off and you know it. The girl I knew hasn't delt with this yet. You're numb. You're in denial.'

A flare of anger. 'What, I need to be a blubbering, suicidal mess?'

'Maybe for a short time, yes. You have been pushing forward without thinking too hard. This fucking Whirlpool has helped you ignore-'

'I'm not ignoring the past, Chlo.'

'That's not what-'

'I'm trying to deal with everything I did but I can't right now. I have to try and save everyone again. I need to find a way this time to do it.'

In spite of the anger emanating from the younger girl, Chloe has to laugh. It's short. But earnest.

'What's so fucking funny?'

No hesitation. No fear. 'You.'

'Fuck off.'

'No, you fuck off.' In contradiction of her words, Chloe laughs again. 'You are so worried about being a monster. You keep thinking you deserve to be punished. You know, maybe you do, but my biased opinion is no. Because, in spite of all the guilt you feel, and the fact I think you are basically trying to turn off all your emotions, you still want to save the world.'

_It's my fault-_

'You still think it's your fault and responsibility. I bet you still think only you can do it too.'

_Well..._

'...yes...'

'Because you are Maxine fucking Caulfield. In direct contradiction to everything else that's gone on, like the fact we're all sure someone else is causing this Whirlpool, that they are likely more powerful than you, that they started all this to begun with...'

'I get it.'

'No, you really don't. Because your first instinct is still to try and save everyone.'

_But that's not my first instinct. My first was to save you._

The next words come out broken. Audible, yes. Coherent, yes. But the words, which should be full of love, are laden with fear. Self-recrimination. Anger. Heartache.

'I chose you.'

Simple words.

Some many meanings in these words. Some many times they've been said in history, between friends, family, lovers. They should be taken as a proclamation of acceptance, love, forgiveness, a whole host of positive emotional reinforcement.

But not this time.

'I chose you, Chloe. Over everyone else in the Bay, everyone combined, I chose just you to save. I didn't even have to think too hard.'

A hand brushes aside tear tracks that mars a face. A hand delicately raises a chin. A hand rests against a solar plexus.

A hand full of power.

_If your right hand causes you to sin..._

'Chloe, how am I different from Nathan. I used people to get what I wanted. I threw them away. Because they didn't matter enough.'

'Max, stop. You know you're not like him. You're different.'

'Why? Because I want to feel bad? It doesn't change that I did it. _Morals_ don't separate me from the act.'

'That's the world of difference. You still have a soul. You still-'

'Still what? Regret it? Why should I? I could go back, right now. You know I could. I _can_ actually save them. I _can_ prove I'm not- not a monster.'

A hand against a chest grips a shirt tight. Not to pull or push. To cement. To hold.

'I have every opportunity to go back and let you die. I'm numb? I have to be. If I want to hold on to my sanity I have to ignore what happened. I can't grieve.'

A hand grows sticky with sweat. It feels the rapid beat of a heart and the pause of lungs.

'If I grieve, it's real. If it's real, it's the way the world is. And I can change the world.'

A hand lets go and appears between two young friends.

'It's all right here at my finger tips.'

Fear. For the first time, fear truly enter's Chloe's eyes. Not fear for what could happen to Max, or of their future.

Fear _of_ Max.

'There it is. There is what I've been expecting. You finally realize what I am.'

'No, I-'

'I'm no better than him. Than them both. I use people and discard them when I have what I want.'

'Max, I said stop.'

'Why?'

'Because I know why you're saying this, and I won't give it to you.'

'What? What do I want?'

'Permission.'

Chloe grabs hands, painfully tight. Awkward as it is, she turns fully toward the smaller girl.

'You want permission to hate yourself.'

_No I don't._

'You want someone to acknowledge that you're a bad person.'

_No._

'So that you can move on.'

_no_

'Because if someone hated you, if you could just hate yourself, it... It explains why you chose what you did. You're "evil", so doing wrong is the correct thing to do.'

_no, no stop_

'You need to blame someone for why we were on that cliff. You need to find a place for that blame. And you only see yourself as the reason.'

'stop'

'It's not your fault.'

'no'

'It's not your fault that you were there. Or that I was. You were just given choices. You made the choice to save my life in the bathroom. How can that be bad?'

'you don't understand'

'You made a choice to save Kate, to find Rachel. You had to choose between so many different outcomes so many times. But you were never given the choice about your power. That was forced on you.'

'i used them'

'And why the fuck not? You did good, these last nine days. You try to help people. Befriend people. Save people. You did what you could.'

'i can do more i can save more'

'Then do it.'

The statement stops both of them.

The tally has been counted. The results of that moment by the lighthouse are known. Max can go back. She can save four hundred and thirty one people.

She can let the person she loves most die.

Chloe pulls her backpack from the cab floor. Rummaging through it's contents. A notebook, colorful and battered, is drawn forth. Between two pages, the separated halves of a photo of a blue butterfly rests.

'This moment right now, go back. If you want, truly want, go back and save them.'

'Why do you still have this?'

'Because I need to remember. I need to have this physical item to remember why I'm still here. I need to know that so many people suffered for me, a fucking high school drop-out, so that I could live. And that the girl I love more than anything, than everything, loves me exactly the same way.'

'Why would...'

'So Max. We love each other. But I can't see you like this. I can't let you hurt so much for me.'

'I- I'm numb.'

'No, you're not. You are destroying yourself by inches over me. I can't be apart of that. I can't let you do that. So choose, right now.'

Both hands are held out. In one, the torn picture to the past. In the other, a waiting palm.

'I won't blame you, either way. I won't judge you, or hate you. But you have to choose, and commit. Either go back and save yourself from all this. Or take my hand and let it go. Let the pain in. Let me help you through the pain.'

_no_

'I love you, Max Caulfield. I will love you no matter what. None of that can be changed.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the first time, the same world twice. I didn't like how the last chapter was shaping up, putting both parts together. Max's break in reality felt watered down when coupled with this talk. That said, I mean, her answer is obvious.
> 
> Right?


	26. Drawn

**_* Tuesday, 10 a.m., After the Funeral *_ **

'It's still bothering me. I think it's the key to this whole... shit storm.'

'Max, you're over analyzing it. We need to find the woman you saw.'

'Sure, I know that. But I just can't get out this whole decide-choose thing Future Me was talking about. It's like she was purposely being opaque about it.'

Out in front of the school, the day is in full swing. The unnatural fog is now rapidly losing ground to the sun. Of course, blue sky reigned down upon the students of Blackwell.

Victoria jesters to their left and right sides. 'Yeah. Not like we need to deal with anything else clouded these days.'

Warm sunlight combats against a chill in the air.

'Look, Vicky, I know we need to find her. But we have no friggin' idea where to-'

'Heads up!'

A Frisbee, in no danger of hitting the two girls, lands several feet from where they lounge. Justin walks up, grabbing the toy and bro-nodding at them before tossing it back to the students on the far side of the grass.

'Hey Max. And... Victoria? How you doing?'

'Just fine, Justin. Got deal with some work before class.'

'Sure sure, Tori. Hey um, Max.' He turns fully to the brunette. 'A couple of us were going to blaze and chill after class. You know, hang and stuff. Wanna come with?' An easy smirk plays across his face. 'It won't be a total sausage fest. Dana and Jules will be chillin' too.'

_Sausage fest? Who the hell even talks like that? And he's inviting just me... Acting a puppy dog._

Max takes a moment before responding. 'Sorry Justin, got plans tonight. Rain check?'

'No problem Maximus. Catch you later.'

He hurries off, rejoining the group with a call out and raised hand.

Victoria _tsks_ between sips of her drink. 'I can't believe you were ever such a loner.'

'What gives?'

'Max, he was hitting on you.'

Elongated emphasis. 'No he wasn't. He was just... being Justin.'

'He was totally asking you out.'

'Seriously Vicky? He just was-'

'Max, trust me. He was asking you to "hang out" because he's interested.' She leans back on one hand, taking another sip. 'A group activity so that it isn't a one-on-one date. His friends, possibly to gain their approval in pursuing you. Mentioning females you're friendly with to make it non-threatening.'

She turns and pokes Max in a shoulder.

'He _likes_ you.'

'Don't be a bitch.'

'Calls them likes I sees them.'

_Vicky is crazy. There's no way someone like Justin would be interested in me._

'Maybe you should go out with him. If he asks you, of course.'

'No no no. I already saw what you did to Warren today. I'm not letting you be matchmaker for me. Besides, I'm just not into him.'

A raised eyebrow. 'Not into him or not into boys?'

_Not really into... anyone._

'I don't know.' She ponders. 'I never really thought about it before. I mean, I've thought about _it_. And I have thought of men, you know, that way...'

Victoria relishes the moment. 'You mean sexually.'

'For the love of- yes.' Ears burning and eyes held shut. 'Be nice Vicky.'

''Sorry. It's not too often I get to see you so embarrassed.'

'Laugh it up.' Max's turn to poke and arm. 'I just... I never really thought _too_ much about that. I mean, I never really pictured _someone_ in mind. You know, when the topic came up.'

'You're such a prude.' Immediate backpedal. 'Not that there's anything wrong with that. God, I wish I could take back some of the things I've done.'

_Sensitive ground we're walking on._

'Has there been many... encounter's?'

'A few guys.' Breath. 'One girl.'

_Whoa_

'We were both drinking. But neither of us was nearly as drunk as we let it on. I have to say, it was definitely... different.'

_Who-_

'And I'm not telling you who, before you ask.'

'Didn't cross my mind.'

' _Sure_. Anyway, how about you?'

_How about me..._

'I've had a, uh, total of two kisses in my life. Well, technically three.'

'Technically...'

'One I sorta rewound. To, you know, take back. But she looked so dejected I had to...'

'Ah. Chloe.'

'Yeah.'

The tension starts to build.

'She a good kisser?'

So might as well push through it.

'I, uh. I guess?'

A bark of laughter. 'You guess? Seriously? You've been kissed two-maybe-three times. Did you at least like it?'

'Well... Well the first one- or two- whatever, one. The first time was a dare. We woke up Wednesday morning and Chloe was making fun of me. As per usual. So to prove how "hardcore" I was, she dares me. And I just, you know, got on my toes and kissed her on the lips. It was over in like half a second.'

'No tongue?'

'Gross. Be nice or I'm done.'

A smirk. One with a glint of white between the lips. 'Please, then. Continue.'

'The other...' _Dammit. Just... dammit._ 'The other was when we stood on the cliff. Right at the end.'

'Oh. Max, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-'

'No. It's fine. I, uh... I need to talk about this stuff.' A settling of nerves. She has to close off her heart, just a bit. 'We were standing there, watching the Bay die. She was... was pleading with me to go back. To save everyone. And I-I chose to do it. But before I could... we kissed. Not all friendly. A bigger kiss. It was... goodbye. And sorry. And a whole lot of other things. I think that was when I realized. Who Chloe really was. To me.'

_No tears no tears no more fucking crying._

'Max. That's...' An arm moves around her back. Instinctively, Max leans over, relishing the warmth. 'I'm sorry Max. Sorry you went through that. Sorry that you figured something like that out at a time like that.'

Fewer tears fall than expected. 'It's okay.'

'No it's not.'

Steeling herself, drying her eyes. 'You're right, it's not.' A weak chuckle to lighten the mood. 'It's not every day you get to save a whole town, though.'

Max calms herself. Dares herself to continue.

'I loved Chloe.' Reassessment. 'Fuck it. I _love_ Chlo. I kinda always will. I guess that makes me gay.'

'I don't know...'

_Really Victoria?_

'Is it that you're attracted to women or just her?'

'I, uh. I want to say just Chlo?'

'Then I wouldn't just outright say gay.'

'Then what am I?'

'Does it matter?' A squeeze before letting go and turning towards the brunette. 'It isn't something you have to decide and set in stone. It's a lot more important to find someone you connect with, who feels the sane way that you do, than try to base it off a gender.'

'Very mature, Vicky.'

'Eh, I've had a few years figuring out my own stuff. Puberty hit and I started noticing boys and girls both. Luckily my parents are very liberal about this stuff. Artists and all that.'

They both let the conversation lull, staring out towards the open water in the distance.

'We're stalling the real conversation.'

'Yup.'

'You gonna pretend to be cool with everything?'

'Gotta, Vicky.'

The view doesn't change. Still, it darkens in their eyes.

'Max, we need to find that girl.'

A nod and a refusal to tear her eyes from the supernaturally calm waters.

'Time isn't exactly on our side.'

'That's where you're only mostly right.'

'Max, you can't photo-hop anymore. We don't know if that's part of the problem. Or if it's really the whole problem.'

'I know. I meant we still have time. Friday. Everything will happen on Friday. We can afford a few more minutes wasted relaxing before we head to class, pretending everything is fine. Like everyone else.'

Steps in the grass behind them draw attention from the glass waves. Warren sits down, favoring Victoria's side. A smile seems glued to his face.

Max states the obvious. 'She said yes.'

'I don't even know how I did it. One minute I'm walking up to her in the library. Next thing I know, I'm waving goodbye like a total idiot and walked into fifteenth century history.'

'Told you.'

Beet red, he still can't wipe the grin off his face. 'I know. Thanks, by the way.'

'No problem. So, when are you going out?'

'Saturday.' He fumbles through his backpack, pulling out a pamphlet. 'Going to a Robocop marathon at the drive-through. Not staying for the third one.'

'Cool. Gives me more reason to fix everything by Friday.'

A wet blanket is thrown all over Warren's mood. He follows eye lines to the waters of the Bay.

'Yeah.' A momentary lull. 'Almost forgot about that.'

Victoria gives Max another slap on the shoulder. 'Come on, Caulfield. Don't pop lover-boy's balloon just yet.'

Max feels the chagrin creeping up her neck. 'Damn. Sorry Warren. I just meant... I meant that it was good, having something else to look forward too.'

'No worries.' He get's up, head swiveling between the two girls. 'So, need any help with homework?'

_Crap. Knew I needed to do something this morning._

'Nope. I already finished it. I'll let Max copy if she needs.'

_Warren's face! It's like we kicked a dozen puppies in front of him._

'But, that's cheating.'

A dead-eyed stare is all he receives in response.

'How will you learn the material?'

Victoria puts in perspective. 'Warren. Really. We are trying to figure out how to stop the world from ending. What's homework at a time like this?' A full toothy grin emerges. 'Weren't you the one who skipped classes yesterday?'

Backfiring like an old car. 'I just... I needed to do research for the...' Triumphant, the blonde turns to Max. Warren refuses to go without a fight. 'Come on, that was more important...'

'Bow out now. Vicky has you beat.'

'Fine.' He slowly retreats back towards the school. ' _Some_ of us still have work to do.'

A parting shot. 'See if Brooke needs any help.'

'Why would she... Oh. OH!' A spring in his step as he recedes across the grass. 'Thanks Vicky.'

Alone again, save for the boys still playing Frisbee. 'You know, this whole "Vicky" nonsense is starting to grow on me.'

_Wow, non-sequitur._ 'You know I'm not nearly as good reading your mind as you are mine.'

'It's just that before, when I was Tori, it was the Vortex Club. Completely different people in my life. A completely different life. One I kinda abandoned.'

'You didn't abandon it...'

Neither believes that.

'I just... I liked my life before. Mostly. It was pretty awesome. Aside from the terrible parts, I mean. But this new life. This new reality. It's really something.'

_My fault, that._ 'I, uh, I'm sorry. I didn't really mean to-'

A surprised look and hands thrown up. 'No! Don't apologize. I really love it. Aside from the terrible parts.' The chuckle let's Max know she's only joking. 'I know everything kinda sucks right now but I'm still glad knowing. I'm still glad being caught up in all this with you.' A clearing of her throat. 'And I'm sure Kate and Warren feel the same way.'

_I just don't get her._ 'Why, though? All I'm doing is putting you through hell. I keep throwing drama in your face.'

'Really? You're a goddamn time traveler.'

Pause.

'And you're a pretty good person too. In spite of the "drama" you bring, you want to do the right thing. Hell, the reason for so much drama is because you beat yourself up over every little decision you make.'

_That's really swee-_

'We need to fix your fashion sense, but otherwise...'

The mischievous grin on Victoria's face doesn't quite let Max know if she's kidding or not.

'Bitch.'

'Hipster.'

'Like that's an insult.'

'It is from where I'm sitting Maxine.'

The brunette's turn to slap a shoulder.

'Max. Never Maxine.'

The comfortable silence that falls over the two of them is a familiar one to Max. An itch in the back of her mind can't place where. Doesn't matter. She just enjoy's it.

But before it becomes too comfortable, it needs to be broken.

'We are still avoiding the whole prophecy-dream stuff.'

'Yeah, I know. But without anything else to go on what can we do?'

'Maybe I can induce a dream.'

'Think you can?'

'Nope. But what else do I have?'

The grunt in reply is noncommittal yet lady-like. 'We just need one thing. I know it. Can you draw?'

'Not if my life depended on it.'

'What about if we got someone, like Daniel? Do you think you can describe the woman to him well enough?'

_That's..._ 'Not a bad idea.'

'I know. Go. I'll hit up Kate and see if she's feeling better.'

Twenty minutes later and Max finally finds the artist. _In the quad, of course. Should have checked here first._ 'Hey, Daniel, how's it going?'

Quiet as ever, she only has to strain a little to hear him. 'Hello Max. I'm doing fine. How's your day?'

'Pretty good. I have a, uh, favor to ask,'

A bit startled. Not many people come to Daniel for help. 'Sure Max.'

'I, uh, had this weird dream. In it was a person a didn't recognize. I was wondering if you could... could draw her.'

One cocked eyebrow. 'That is a very unusual request. Is there something wrong? Is the dream bothering you?'

_Actually-_ 'Well, yeah. It is. I can't get it out of my head. It's a really weird dream. I think... I think I can sorta leave it behind if I could see it in front of me.'

'In that case, I would love to help.'

'Cool!' Sitting down on the grass, Max look expectantly across the notepad. 'So, what do I do?'

'Well, let's run through the process I use. First, describe the subject.'

'Well, it's a young woman. About five-seven. Her back is to me, and her hair is down to about here...'

Nearly an hour later, through several variations of the same sketch, Max has her picture. Right height, right build. Daniel even broke out colored pencils to try and match the proper shades of hair and the hand just peaking out of a sleeve. A bit of it Max had to guess at. _The back and forth flipping of red and blue tints made it hella hard to see the real colors of something, but this... this is about as perfect as I can get._

'Wow, Daniel. This is just spot on. Your really captured her pose perfectly.'

A satisfactory smile crosses his face. 'It was just my hand making what you saw. You had all the details laid out for me. It's amazing that your photographer's eye translates even to your dreams.'

_More like nightmare._ 'Don't be modest. I barely know what side to hold when I'm drawing.'

'But you understand details so well. It's like you absorb it all at once, like you take a picture in your mind before you ever grab a camera.' He stands, offering a hand to help Max up. 'It's a rare gift for an artist.'

_It doesn't hurt that I was frantically trying to memorize everything so I could save the future._

'I do have a favor to ask in return, Max. Two, really.'

'Sure.'

'Well, I like to post all my work online. I would really like to post this drawing. I can even give you credit for the inspiration if you want.'

_Let's not let this out in the open. At least connected to me._ 'No, you can keep me out of it. Instead just say something like "commissioned anonymously" or something. It'll add mystique.'

A laugh, a nod. 'Sure. And the second favor. It's a bit touchy.'

'Yes?'

'Would you mind posing for me sometime soon? I used to draw... someone else, for my portraits. She's no longer available. I realized I was so used to one face that I neglected to try and challenge myself with someone else. I thought, for my midterm project, to try and draw a bunch of students around campus, and You'd be my first subject.'

_He's talking about Rachel. It's... is it morbid? But it's Daniel. He lives to capture people in pencil._

'Sure. Give me a few days and we'll set up something. I've got a hella full week right now.'

He beams. 'Thank you. I can message you Saturday?'

'Perfect.'

He heads off to the dorms. _Probably to pick up his books for Science Lab. Who's homework I still need to do._

Max stares at the woman in her hands, looking for flaws. There are none. She stands just as Max remembers. She can still picture Victoria confronting her, the Bay just over the edge of the cliff. The hand raised as if grabbing or striking Vicky.

The other visions surface. The fear on Kate's face. Her friends calling out from the lighthouse.

From the corner of her eye, Max catches the glint of sunlight on metal.

_No. No one gets hurt this time. Not even..._

_Not even if you need to kill someone?_

_About time you spoke up._

_What happens when that trigger needs to be pulled?_

'I won't let it happen.'

_What if it saves lives?_

'How? Why? Why do I keep getting thrown into life and death positions?'

_When are you going to decide?_

'Decide what?!'

Her yell echos in the empty courtyard. No, not empty. Nearly. Just entering from the parking lot, carrying a cardboard box, walks David Madsen.

'Max? Max Caulfield, right?'

Red eyes and a hesitant gait make their way over.

'I, uh, I have something for you. From Chloe.'


	27. Surfacing

_**Trigger warning, themes of self harm** _

_*** Tuesday, 10:01 a.m., After the Storm *** _

_How can she ask this?_

The seats in the truck creak as Max moves her weight backwards.

_How can she do this to me?_

Her breathing speeds up

_After everything._

Borderline hyperventilating.

_She wants me._

Air passing her lungs too fast.

_To choose._

Spots appear before her eyes.

_Again._

The cliff is before her. So easy to see. Hear. Taste. Water on her lips. Maybe tears. In her hand rests a butterfly. Behind her, a person keeps telling Max to save the Bay. Before her, ruination. Rocks and trees and _cars_ and _boats_ are flung. A tantrum of destruction, the Lincoln Logs of Arcadia's residents knocked over without a thought.

Before the panic attack could fully set in, slender fingers dig into her shoulders. They grab, pulling her forward. They meet around her back, arms following their path. A chest touches her cheek. Pressure. Words break through.

'...so sorry I did that. I'm so sorry. I take it back. Please let me take it back...'

Nothing moves. The instance before she rips butterfly wings off. No sound, but she hears the torment of the Storm as it moves, _saunters_ , towards the first and last home she's known. A shiver, having everything to do with her state of mind, on the cusp of shaking her apart.

Her forehead damp, Max leans into the embrace, returning it. Clutching tightly. A whimper escapes, but that's all.

'...to just stay here. I need that. Don't go off and...'

Right now she needs to save or condemn the people before her. The thousands of lives she will forever change. The ones she will snuff out. The ones better off dead. Four hundred and thirty one. What about the dying? The paralyzed. The homeless. The forgotten. The orphaned and the childless. Four hundred and thirty one. A small number compared to the real figure. Thousands hurt and lost and broken and plain old unlucky. Unlucky to be standing in the way of the Storm. Unlucky to be stand in Max's way.

The words beat through the emptiness of her mind. They take meaning, in spurts and starts.

'...love you. Always. Just breath. I love...'

Can't do it. Can't do it again. Can't let those people die again. I can choose differently. I can save them and save Chloe and save Kate and Warren and Rachel-

'...not you. Not your fault...'

_It is. It is my fault. It is it is it is-_

'IT IS!'

Chloe jumps in place. Her own sobs increase.

Max is silent.

A tentative, even hesitant, sound escapes between the wracking of the taller girls chest.

'max'

_Don't say anything. Just. Just quiet. Just let me have this._

'i'm sorry'

_No don't say that don't say it._

'it's all my fault'

_no_

Max leans her head back.

'Never say that.'

A hand brushes her face, showing a glisten of tears on it. _I'm crying?_ It comes back, lightly grasping her head, thumb softly rubbing her temple. Blue eyes peer back from under bright blue locks, from under dark blue beanie.

'Max, I'm the reason-'

'Never say that.'

'Max?'

Lips crash together, silencing anything else to be said. Desperate. No, needful. Max needs this. She needs the touch. She needs Chloe to be here and make everything okay. Like the woods, the first time. With wild force, she needs to know Chloe is here. That she's safe. That she's whole and fine and worth-

After a moment, she can't keep it in. The guilt, it's too much. Her lips pull back, unable to find their compliment. A rictus grips her mouth. Still momentary bits of love bleed through as she still seeks to find it. That meaning, that reason for so much-

She buries herself into Chloe's chest. Listening for a beat. Over her own whines of pain, she hears it. A lifeline back to-

Some time later, the sobbing stops. The energy is spent. Once, she tried to vomit, her protesting stomach unable to keep up with the waves of emotion and pain playing out. Knees tucked up into her chest, she still listens for the beating heart.

The car is cold, now. Not from the October day. The warmth of the sun still burns into Max's face. Into her eyes, if she opens them.

The cold is in her bones.

'chlo'

The pulse beats twice as fast, for a moment. Arms shift. The sound of a kiss and the brushing of lips against hair.

'yes, max?'

'why did you do that?'

'because... because you weren't here. because you weren't you.'

'i didn't want to feel that.'

'i know. i'm sorry.'

Silence reigns again.

'chloe?'

'yes?'

'that hurt.'

'yes.'

'you hurt me.'

Shifting. Arms drawing patterns as the two gain some distance. Yet refusal to let go. The distance is not so great.

'You hurt me, Chlo.'

'I know. I meant to.'

Blurry blue eyes lock on blurry blue.

'Why?'

The bluenette gathers herself.

'Because you needed it.'

Those eyes turn away.

'Because, Max, you need to deal with this world. And I do too.'

_Deal? How do I deal? How do face the fact I'm a murderer, a serial killer?_

'Chloe-'

'Max, you think you did this... this thing. That _you_ did it. We did. We did it and we need to choose how we deal with it.'

'Deal with it? _Deal with it?_ How do you suggest we deal with it?' The venom of Max's voice pools in her lap. 'How are we going to make this better? How do we fix this? You got some magic power I don't know about?' She dips a hand through that poison, drawing forth more anger. She shoves the broken wings in front of Chloe's wide eyes. 'Or maybe I should use this. You want me to go back, save everyone. You want to leave so badly. You want to leave me so bad-'

As abruptly as she started, her words stop.

Chloe is rocked. Moving slowly, she gently pries apart Max's fingers, removing the picture. Placing it on the console, turning back to the brunette, she searches for the right words.

'Max, I don't-' Beat. 'I can't-' Beat. 'Max.' Gently, dealing with a wild animal, Chloe turns the smaller girl's head towards her, searching for contact. 'I never want to leave. I never want to be away from you. But we're not dealing with our wants right not. This is about what we need.' Hesitant fingers trace through brown hair. 'I need you to be better. With or without me, I need you to be who you were, because this new you...'

_Is a monster._

'...is killing me. Seeing you broken is... is worse than that first moment seeing my mother in that hospital. Worse than seeing Arcadia Bay breaking apart in front of me. Worse than... than finding Rachel. You're walking around like a ghost. I... I have enough ghosts in my life. I can't see you self-destruct this way.'

A small voice issues.

'you don't want me'

'That's not what I meant-'

'you don't want who i am.'

'Max, I love you.'

'why do you want to get away from me?'

'-don't want to get away-'

'-is it because i am this monster-'

'-stop saying-'

'-know that i am. i just have to figure out-'

'Stop it!' A shaking of the younger girl's shoulders. 'You don't have anything to figure out. _We_ do. Stop doing this. Stop taking all the blame.'

'i did it.'

'Fucking stop!' Again, wet eyes. 'Stop taking this away from me. Stop shouldering this whole burden. I'm just as responsible as you are. I could have made you stop the Storm. I could have forced you to do it.'

'it was all me.'

'Quit being so self-righteous about all this. You want blame? Take some. I'll get my own. You don't have a monopoly on it. Because if you want to bear the responsibility for all those lost lives, I'll take responsibility for your decision. You made it over me.'

No answer.

'You finally get it? You finally understand? Me. People _died_ for me. My mother... she almost... For me. You made that choice for both of us and-'

Hands clasp over her mouth before more could be said.

'and what, chlo?'

'And...' Pain washes over the bluenette. She doesn't want to say. 'And you keep going on how bad a person you are. What does that make me? I'm the reason you had that choice. And I'm still happy to be alive. Here. With you. How am I supposed to deal with that?'

_God, I'm so sorry._

'You think I want to leave you? I never want to leave your side. I _know_ how much I mean to you. And I know how much I'm worth in this world. I just... can't do the math on this.'

Hands shake. A lighter trembles, trying and failing to light a cigarette.

'I-I don't know how I'm worth this m-much to anyone. I don't know how I can make my life equal to four hu-hundred other ones. You decided I was worth that. I-I have to live with that too.'

_oh_

'So every t-time you second guess your decision to save me, you're telling me...'

Finally the lighter clicks.

'You're telling me I wasn't worth it. I'm not worth it. And- and I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do to make you commit to this world. To me. So I kept the photo. So that you could fix all this if it was a mistake.'

Neither speaks for some time. Neither wants to air the doubts they are feeling.

'You could never be a mistake.'

'You say that, and then you say how bad of a person you are for picking me. How can you expect me to deal with that? Oh, me being alive, _that's fine_. But all those dead people?'

'I didn't realize.'

'I know you didn't. And I'm so mad about that. I'm so, so mad that... That you don't even realize how you've been affecting me.'

'You didn't have to choose.'

'You weren't the only one standing on that cliff!'

'You don't have powers!'

'So?' The indignation is plain on Chloe's face. 'I was there. I was there the whole time. Step by step, all the way. I was there.'

'No you weren't! You weren't in the Dark Room!'

Even before the words left her mouth, she wishes she could take them back. Her hand raises from her lap.

Another hand forces it back down.

'No. You don't get to rewind this. You don't get to do it over.' A calm look falls over Chloe, directly contrasting the rage she feels. 'What do you mean?'

'You-' At a loss. 'You didn't go through that. You didn't go through what that shit-stain did to me.'

A tilting of her head. 'Yeah. I was dead.'

'Exactly. And I'm not doing that again. I'm not going to live, through that, without you again. I will not.'

'Max, it didn't happen.'

'No. You do not get to preach to me about how my decisions are ours and then tell me that being tortured by that, that sadistic fuck didn't happen. Or watch you die over and over. Or Kate dying, or Victoria, or Frank. Everyone I, no, we. Everyone we hurt last week, or got hurt, or we tried to hurt... You really want responsibility? Fine.' In her tirade, she has backed up against the passenger door, arms folded and a flash in her eyes. ' _We_ spent all of last week keeping you alive. _We_ broke down time and brought the Storm here. _We_ killed War- people. _We_ did all this. So now we have to decide whether or not I'm going back and undoing all this shit.'

Max keeps her hands hidden, to prevent Chloe from seeing them tremble.

'It was  _real_. All of it was real. Every moment, with or without you, whether it exists in this time line or not. It's all real to me. And even if I go back, I'll know what I did. I'll see Warren and know that the only reason he's alive is because I got to do it over. My own little cosmic get out of jail.'

Feigning more confidence than she feels.

'So, let's do this. Do you want me to do it? I mean, sure, N-nathan will get caught, go to jail. Probably. Jefferson too. Probably. I'm sure Kate will be fine, it's not like she's g-gonna kill herself.'

'Max, stop being so harsh.'

'No, let's talk about this. A couple of murderers _should_ still be caught. And I'm sure Joyce and David will get over it.'

'Max, don't-'

'I mean, we'll just talk about those affected if you die. Me. Joyce. David. That's it, right? Maybe Frank, you think? You won't be able to pay him back, though.'

'Max, why the fuck are you-'

'So just the four of us. Joyce and David have each other. They'll be fine eventually. Frank, well, he's just losing his best customer. So, just me. I'm the one left all alone. Not like that really changes much.'

'Stop being such a bitch.'

'You don't get it. Did you think I was joking last night? Do you really think I'd last a week? It's- it's one thing, up on that hill, doing nothing. I didn't know what was going to happen. I just knew people would get hurt. Now, you want me to go back. You want me to pull the trigger on you myself.'

'It's not like that and you-'

'HOW IS IT DIFFERENT?'

The shrillness of Max's voice echos around the two girls. Fists balled, eyes tight shut. Blocking out the world.

She pushes off the hand that touches her arm. Not wanting the contact.

'Chloe, you are asking me if I want to murder you.' Finally opening her eyes, she stares at the expanse between them. 'How could you?'

'Max...'

'How is it any different than up there? Why would I choose differently? I already decided once. Why are you making me do it again?'

The pain on the other girl's face shows her realization. Shows that she finally understands what the photo means to Max. What the offer means to her. As self-sacrificing as she thought it would be, Max sees it as homicide.

'You're asking me to pull the trigger.'

Max stares at her hands. Imagining.

'I already can't wash it off.'

Still staring down.

'We already know there's something wrong with... with everything. Time. How would me fucking it up more help?'

Rubbing her hands together, lightly. Staring at her right palm, lightly tracing her palm lines. Following the crease of her fate line, from between her index and middle fingers down nearly to her wrist.

'What if I can't change fate? What if I go back and choose the same thing? What if I'm not strong enough to let Nathan kill you?'

Looking up. Making contact.

'What would happen to me?'

Asking.

'I'd choose to kill these people. For real this time. Not some lie I can make up about not knowing what would happen. I'd actively be killing Warren and Brooke and everyone else for you.'

Pleading.

'I can't make a decision like that again. I can't choose everyone's fate knowing exactly what was going to happen.'

Breaking.

'I'd sit there and-and just freeze and let you bleed and I wouldn't even really decide I would just panic and- and...'

Shaking.

'...And I would just let the world take you away. I would let you die, knowing I could prevent it. Or...'

Apart.

'...I really would kill everyone. Intentionally.'

Finally, trembling and weak, a hand reaches across and grips it's like.

'I can't do that again. I can't choose again.'

Pulling the small girl forward. Smoothing her hair.

'I understand, Max.'

The wall collapses.

Days of turmoil have come to their head. The numbness of the last few days is gone. The crux of Max's pain, the center of her, is finally exposed.

_What would I do?_

All the confidence of that moment on the cliff seems like nothing more that childish illusions. Evaporating on a warm Spring day. The moment plays over and over. She sees, clearly, the point where she tears the photo. That was meant to take away her future choices. It was meant to prevent her from ever second-guessing her decision.. But doubt cannot be tossed aside like trash. Guilt cannot be hidden.

_Could I ever choose to save them?_

The one thought Max refused to ask herself. Could she, knowing the future, choose to save the people of Arcadia Bay instead of Chloe? That question haunted her subconscious.

_The- the morals. It would be me shooting Chloe. Or shooting hundreds of people. Who would I kill?_

And in that moment, there is no answer. There won't be an answer. A person can't know the answer to a question like that, without being in that situation. That moment.

Max can go to that moment.

She's just too afraid.

Afraid what it would say about her. If she really is this monster. If she really would willingly trade away all those lives for one person. Or if she could sacrifice the person she loves for... strangers. Relatively speaking. If she could live in a world alone, just to let others live. Is it selfish to want Chloe in her life?

Yes.

But, really?

Are the convenient lies she told herself lies at all? She doesn't know if a single death would prevent the Storm. Or prevent the Whirlpool.

Heart and mind have ceased their cold war. There is nothing else her body can do but let them fight inside her.

_This isn't fair. No one should be able to make these decisions. No one should have to go through this._

Arms move, releasing their pressure. In terror, Max grips tighter at a torso she has no memory of touching. A flick, a quiet sizzle. A smell of burnt plastic.

Emerging, she sees a photograph turning to ash.

'Max, I can't take away the pain how I want to. I can't undo the past. But I can keep you from reliving it.'

Blue wings turn yellow and red and black.

'I won't give you the option of going back. You keep tearing yourself up because of what you could change. You'll never get a chance to heal if I don't remove this option.'

'Chlo...'

'It's... all I can do. This time, I'm deciding for you.'


	28. Yesterday's Post

**_* Tuesday, After 11, Before Noon, After the Funeral *_ **

'Well, it's not really from her. It's, it's just stuff. From Joyce.'

He stands, fidgeting. Obviously uncomfortable, and just as obviously struggling a bit with the box.

Max struggles to get out coherent words. 'Th-thank you, Mister Madson.'

'Just David, if you would.'

'Sure.'

David stands there, shifting the box uneasily. Max mirror's him, unsure of herself.

'So, um, Miss Caulfield, I-'

'Max.'

'Uh, okay. Max, um, where would you like this?' The box, though not particularly big, is beginning to sag in the middle.

'Wh-what is it?'

'It's some of Chl-. Of her things. Stuff Joyce said you should have. There was no, uh, no will or anything. It's mostly stuff from when you were kids. Joyce said you'd appreciate it.'

'Yeah. Sure. Can you take it up to my room?'

'Uh. Sure.'

'Let me get the door.'

The walk is ponderous and slow. Neither knowing what to say. Max leads him to get door in complete silence.

'Just please leave it on the couch. I'll get to it later.'

Gingerly placing the box down, David takes a moment to once-over the room With a nod, he turns to leave.

Max speaks up, just before he swings the door closed. 'How's Joyce?'

The hesitation in his step lets Max know he's trying to lie. The deflation of his face let's her know he's choosing not to.

'She's... pretty bad. It's tough, loosing a child.' His eyes grow distant. 'It's not something you get over easy.'

'And, um.' The catch in her throat almost makes her gag. 'How are you?'

'I'm... I'm fine.'

'David, I... really don't believe you.'

He stands in the doorway, refusing eye contact. A shudder rolls down his spine. 'Neither do I.' A hand covers his mouth, moving to cover his eyes and rub his temples. The shudders rolls back up, catching in his throat and aborting the sob hanging there.

'David, I... Are you..?'

'I'll be fine. I'll just-' He turns to leave.

'Wait, David. Do you want to talk?'

'No, Max.' He pauses, reconsidering. But- 'No. I need to leave. Be with Joyce. But when you have a chance... Come by. I know Joyce would... like to see you.'

As he closes the door, Max needs to speak. 'David, she... she loved you. In spite of everything that you went through, she loved you.'

The tears don't fall, but they want to.

'Thanks.' Again turning, this time he pauses on his on volition. 'Max. Really, thank you.'

The vacuum left is a pale echo of the void Max has felt for days. The void won't be- can't be- filled by David. Or Victoria. Or Warren or Kate. But David, his familiarity, the knowledge of what he did last week, what he went through. The shared love the two of them had for the missing person in their lives. It was something, however briefly, they shared. It was a small comfort, knowing someone in the room with her cared for Chloe as much as Max did.

That vacuum sucked life from Max, abet a tiny amount.

Turning to the box, determined not to break, not yet, Max pries the lid open. Clothes, CDs and DVDs lay piled haphazardly. Requiem for a Dream greeted her gaze, prominently displayed in center amidst the chaos.

_Never saw it. Heard it was pretty messed up._

Digging through, familiar items start surfacing. A pirated 'Pirate' CD. Graphic t-shirts and tank tops. A beanie- _the beanie_ \- slightly stained a vibrant blue on the inside, where repeated use had it take on some personality from it's owner.

_It's previous owner._

Fighting tears, fighting so hard, Max pulls the hat over her head. Holding the sides, she stands, still, letting the pressure build. The last time her bluenette wore this. At the lighthouse. Or, no. That's not right. In the bathroom. As her blood pooled-

Flinging it from her, as if acidic to the touch. Bouncing off the door, landing just next to her pillow.

_Not now._

A morbid desire to see this task done forces Max to dig deeper. More shirts, random paraphernalia. As she speeds up her search, items start following the hat. A white shirt, depicting a black skull, lands on the bed next to the hat. A snow globe, a single deer in it, follows. An eye-patch. The broken handle from a cardboard sword. An album, depicting two pure white hands, one bearing a medical bracelet, separated by a field of red.

A photo album, colorful in it's pastels.

Pause.

Shaking, from fear and adrenaline, Max lifts the cover. Peering back at her, nine years old, pure blue eyes and a dazzling smile. Seven and eight year old girls, sharing cake on one of their birthdays. A twelve year old running along the beach.

A fifteen year old girl, uncomfortable in her dress and slightly awkward in boots. A seventeen year old girl, throwing a dark gaze back at the camera.

A four year old, held by her father, trying to pull off his glasses.

Again, the seven and eight year old's, having breakfast, still covered with finger-paint.

_Why would Joyce want me to have this? How will this help me? How can she-_

Off.

Max turns off.

Taking the album. Closing. Not feeling it as her fingers tingle.

Sitting on the floor, against the couch. Clutching the memories against her chest. Still not feeling the book.

Choosing to keep her eyes dry. Her head empty. Not feeling

The knock-knock-knock at her door causes Max to jump. A quiet voice calls for her. Tells her that the speaker is going to class. That Kate wanted to talk later about something later. Max doesn't answer. The voice repeats her name. Repeats the knock. Steps recede from her door.

Max breaks from her stillness.

_Finish it._

The album forgotten, among the debris of her bed. Digging again, picking at that barely-healing scab, trinkets form a small pile on the bed beside her. Eventually all but emptied, the box sits on the couch, surrounded by things.

_Not Chloe's things anymore. Just... things._

The last item of the box is another book, smaller. Bits of torn pages stick out from the covers. Anarchy symbols and band stickers adorn it's cover. Max has never seen this before.

Weighty for it's size, it does not close right. Curiosity finally breaking through her wall, Max hefts it, taking a seat amide the flotsam on her bed. randomly opening it, she comprehend it's nature.

_A journal? Chlo's journal._

The entry, dated March fifth, twenty-ten, has her likeness drawn on the right-hand side. The words reach out, capturing her.

_MAX_

_Now this is more like it! here I can write to you all I want without wondering or worrying if you'll ever write me back._

_Maybe one day, when you return home and apologize for having forgotten all about me and we kiss and make up, I'll show this to you and we can read it and laugh._

_Or maybe I'll decide that journal Max is way cooler than reality Max and you'll just live in here forever as my little imaginary former current best friend pen pal. Time will tell._

_Chloe, the Journal Boss_

Skipping ahead, another entry strikes out.

_MAX_

_So The Mustache drove me to school today. Yup, that's what my life's become. Even worse, he thought the ride was like a "tell me how things are gonna be from now on" opportunity._

_You'd be proud of me. I kept my mouth shut like a good little girl. Or a good little serial killer. There's more than one way to skin a David..._

Again, she pushes forward.

_MAX_

_With all this Shakespeare shit going on, I thought I'd write you a sonnet. Then I realized that rhyming is hard, and nothing really rhymes with Rachel. Which seems fitting, given that I've never actually met anyone like Rachel before._

_With Rachel, everything is a game of some kind. I had to use my breaking and entering skills to get this viewfinder working just so we could spy on peeps at the park..._

Again.

_Max,_

_Ever been to therapy? It's actually kind of awesome. And I don't mean writing down your feelings and hugging and crying and shit. I'm talking about popping open the hood and getting your hands dirty..._

Again.

_Max,_

_When you think about it, it's kind of amazing that anyone ever trusts anybody about anything. Take the stars, for example. We learn all these things about them in school, but no one bothers to tell us the most important fact of all: some of them are dead._

_Yet, somehow, Rachel trusts me with the most important thing in her world. Finding her real mom..._

_Max,_

_I don't think you can know how you feel about someone until you almost lose them. Until you sit in a hospital waiting room, frozen in place yet somehow falling, silently desperately pleading to hear their voice, touch their hand, make them laugh..._

_Then you know._

_Max,_

_I thought David would freak but he barely seems to notice. Mom, on the other hand, freaked when I showed her my new... expression. It's only a little colored, and only a little blue..._

_Max,_

_Got the cash from Frank. Gonna get this old jalopy running right and headed out to Cali. Rachel thinks LA should be our destination but I always wanted to ride a cable car..._

_Max,_

_I can't find Rachel. It's been four days and she hasn't answered a single one of my calls yet. I know she's all flighty but you'd think she could tell me..._

And the last entry.

_Max,_

_I have a plan. It's a bad plan, but I'm running out of options. I gotta see if that dick can get me enough cash to skip town. I don't think I'll need this journal anymore, if things pan out_

_Goodbye Max._

_PS_

_I keep saying goodbye to you._

_I keep saying goodbye to everyone. But always after they leave._

_I never get to say goodbye in person. I never get to let them leave._

_They keep getting taken away. No warning. And every time I say goodbye, I never mean it._

_Because I never get to choose when to say it._

_I'm choosing now. Now I get to say goodbye for real. I haven't talked to you in years. But this Max, Journal Max, has been here the whole time._

_And I keep leaving you. And I keep coming back. But I don't want to say goodbye because I'll keep coming back, as much as I don't want to, as much as I say this is the last time, as much as I know I'll be here tomorrow, telling you how it went with Nathan tomorrow._

_So no goodbye._

_See you tomorrow, Max._

Dark stains appear near the bottom of the page.

_See you tomorrow, Max._

Truth in those words. They keep rolling through her head.

_See you tomorrow, Max._

Flashing back to the bathroom. Max didn't recognize her the first time. Who would? After five years, at least a foot of height and a blue dye job. A gun being waved around. A psycho yelling into a mirror.

_See you tomorrow, Max._

Max saw her, ten feet away. But Chloe never glimpsed her back.

'Come on Max. Class time.'

A patter of knocks.

'Max?' Again the door shakes. 'You in?'

She can't stand.

The latch is undone. Kate stands there, a slightly worried look on her face. 'You sleeping-' Slightly worried becomes fully realized. 'Max, what's wrong?'

Wordless, soundless, Max pleads with her friend. She's hurting, again, and cannot voice it.

'What happened? Talk to me.'

Kate stares at the open book handed to her. Reads the entry displayed.

'Oh... Oh Max.'

A hand against her back, the other atop her head, pull Max forward into the embrace. Soothing noises issue from Kate, competing with the whines issuing from Max. Max's grip on her power slightly slips. Time has a slight stutter-step, elongating but not quite stopping the moment.

Her grip keeps slipping.

She wants to tighten her fist. Hold on to time and make it do what she needs. Save everyone. Save Chloe. But she can't save Chloe and everyone. She needs to choose. And everything wants her to choose the world.

Even Chloe wanted this.

Self-sacrifice came easy for Chloe, at the end. Truthfully she was at least half suicidal. Depressed. More than a touch bipolar. Of course she wouldn't want to live in a world where people died for her. She didn't want to live in the normal world already. All noble, telling Max no one else needs to be hurt for her.

But it wasn't the rest of the world that would be hurt. It was Max. It was Max's world that was destroyed. What Chloe saw as self-sacrifice... Max murdered Chloe.

_I murdered her. Because she told me to._

Max always did what Chloe said. Always followed the bluenette's lead. The push-over. The side-kick. And when Max finally became truly powerful, what did she do? Max was Chloe's Swiss Army Knife. Get out of jail free. When Chloe needed help, Max fixed it. And when Max needed help...

She's alone.

_Was I really that bad? Was it impossible to see a future together?_

Chloe asked Max to leave her to die. To live on all alone. To help her best friend, her love, to commit suicide.

_Did she love me?_

Chloe would rather die than be with her.

'That's not true and you know it.'

'katie, you didn't know her like i did.'

A chiding sound is her rebuttal. 'Max, I don't know her. I know you.'

'so?'

'So, you are just... you need an excuse to hate her.'

'no. no i loved her.'

'Which is why you want to hate her now.' A shake of her head. 'Max, you are one of the few people I've met that... I don't know. I don't know how to put it.'

'what?'

'You don't stay angry at people. You don't hold grudges. You forgive.'

A pair of eyes, framed by glass, appears in Max's head. 'not everyone.'

'True. But most. And those people you don't, you at least understand. Like, like Nathan. I know you haven't forgiven what he did. But you, like, acknowledge that it wasn't all him. He wasn't forced to do anything, but he also wasn't shown anything else. He is as much a victim as m- as the rest.' Kate folds her legs on the bed, prompting Max to do the same. 'You have empathy. And perspective. And understanding.'

'so? so do you.'

'No, I don't. I know how to connect to people. And I usually understand them. But so often I'm confused why they do what they do.' A pause, as Kate collects thoughts. 'Max, let's try an experiment. I want you do explain Victoria to me.'

'huh?'

'Explain who you think Victoria is. I don't care about the good or the bad.' A coy smile appears. 'And I won't tell her a single thing, so don't hold back.'

Max ponders a moment. 'victoria?' _How do I explain Vicky?_ 'everyone thinks she's a bitch. and they're right, but for the wrong reasons. she isn't mean because she enjoys it. in fact, what most people see as mean is really her being competitive.' The words start to flow. 'when she gloats about winning it isn't because she wants you to feel bad, she just wants to reaffirm herself. and she isn't conceded. just self-confident. and earned, too. vicky mostly excels at what she puts her mind too. she has a mean streak, but it's rarely malicious and when it is the person is usually messing with her accomplishments. which are kinda like her babies.'

'Wow. Most people would have stopped at the b-word. Kind people would have said she acts so mean because she's lonely or afraid.'

'oh, no. vicky doesn't really do the whole "fear" thing without legit justification. and she isn't lonely. she's really tight with her family and she does have close friends, even if most have a weird master-minion thing going on. mostly, i don't think victoria knows what it's like to have peers. like, real competition. she never saw anyone that way. maybe rachel. but she was a bit too flighty to be a big threat. the only one could have been nathan, and he was her best friend. no threat there.'

Kate still has that smile on her face, brighter now.

'what?'

'That's what I mean. You have every reason to dislike Victoria. You have every reason to just see her as a shallow drama-queen that tormented you. Instead you're best friends with her in a couple of days.'

'not best friends...'

'Max.'

'fine. but what does this have to do with c-chloe?'

'You want to forget her and hate her so you don't miss her anymore. But if you can't hate someone who gave you every reason to, how are you going to do that with Chloe?'

'then- then what do i do?' Her face screws up. 'i can't handle this. i thought i was fine and then- how can i handle this?' The first sob shakes her but the subsequent ones are stifled before leaving her chest. 'i'm fine for an hour, or minute, or all day. and then i'm like this. i'm broken and i can't fix it!'

The look on Kate's face breaks Max's heart. _She may think I'm some sort of people-reader but she's the most compassionate person I've ever met._

'Max, you don't fix this. All you can do is wait. The memories will hurt less, eventually. But not anytime soon, and not if you keep trying to force out the emotions. You _have_ to hurt before you can get better.'

'...don't wanna...'

A small, sad giggle issues. 'Doesn't matter. You just need to remember that you love her and she loved you. It's not enough now but it will be one day.'

'when?'

'Definitely some time after class today.'

Another giggle, this one from the brunette.

'do i have to?'

'Yup.' She tries to tidy up a bit, almost immediately giving up. 'And then I'll help you put all this away. And here.' The journal is pressed into Max's hands. 'Keep this on you. If you don't mind I'd like to read it.'

'yeah, sure.' Staring at the open entry, Max yelps. The book clatters to the floor, still open. 'FUCK!'

Worried, Kate about-faces and switches back and forth quickly, Max to book to Max. 'What?!'

'just- just look.'

Peering down, Kate goes wide-eyed.

On the left hand side, the last entry is displayed just as before. The previous last entry. Next to it, in block letters and obviously hastily scribbled, a new entry appeared.

_HEY JOURNAL MAX-_

_I WAS FUCKING RIGHT! THE REAL YOU CAME BACK TODAY AND SAVED MY LIFE! SHES GOT TIME TRAVEL POWERS!_

_I'm not sure it's for real but... it looks true. We're headed over to the diner tomorrow, I'll see if she can prove it._

_I wasn't the nicest. I mean, I'm super pissed she was gone for so long but, now, I'm just happy she's back. And hella cute at that._

_She can never find out about us_

_So, to be uber lame, TTYL when more shit happens_

_See you tomorrow, Journal Max_


	29. Better Left Unspoken

**_* Tuesday, Pre-Noon, After the Storm *_ **

Max still isn't sure if she's angry or not with Chloe. Part of her is furious Chloe would pull a stunt like that. _Back-to-back stunts. First give me the picture. Then burn it up without even asking._

But part of her is relieved.

_For once, in all this chaos, it wasn't up to me._

The same circular logic had been creeping up on her for the last half hour, the same train of thought that led her down this path to begin with. She should be feeling guilt about the relief. She should be angry at Chloe, controlling her like this. She should be depressed, at least, over everything going on.

Instead Max is relieved and curious if she's angry at Chloe.

_Which means I'm not angry. I just think I should be._

A part of her is still... peeved at the older girl. Less about the actions that transpired. More about the implications. That Max couldn't have made her mind up. That she needed to be taken care of. That she even had that hesitation that prevented her from destroying the photo herself.

Max isn't sure if she's sane anymore.

_I'm completely flipped. Nothing that happened before is... here. I don't even really... feel what I felt earlier._

She should be worried.

_I know why I was upset. I remember what I felt. I just feel... purged of it. Like dealing with it absolved me of it._

She should be worried.

'Max! I said we're here.'

The first words said to her in nearly an hour.

'Get moving. I want to see how my mom's doing.'

Anger in those words.

Stepping out and closing the door behind her, Max regards the controlled chaos of the hospital. The de facto center of Arcadia Bay's relief effort. Home to over seven hundred beds, the movement outside shows just how taxed the hospital is. When a crisis produces nearly twice as many injured and sick individuals than can feasibly be treated, chaos reins. The outpatient buildings that litter around the central parking lot, the hearts specialist facility, Mental Health and Welfare, even what Max thought was a local WMCA, all showed nearly the same level of activity. Chloe had been directed away from the hospital for parking, led a quarter mile away to the local public high school ( _Not everyone has money or scholarships_ ) and parked mid end-zone of the football field.

The walk back gives Max time to observe the efforts to save the Bay in full detail.

Multiple lines of traffic fed into and out of the hospital. One line seems the be reserved exclusively for emergency personnel. A never ending flow of private cars makes up the other line, people constantly climbing in and out of their vehicles as they queue at one of the four spots in front of the main entrance.

Not everyone looks hurt. But nearly all of them wear the same expression of worry.

Max observes all this with cool detachment, two steps behind Chloe.

Entering is simple, compared to the fancy footwork the girls need to stay out of harms way in the traffic. Chloe immediately heads for the nearest stairwell, knowing her way around better. Max... hesitates.

'Chlo!'

Pivoting, the bluenette just stares back.

'I'm- I'm going to find Vicky and Katie. See what we can do to help out around here.'

'Fine.'

'Chlo, wait.'

Approaching the taller girl, Max steps up, holding on to Chloe's hand with both her own.

_This. This I feel guilty over. Because of what I said and did to her. I'm not even mad, not really, at what was directed to me. But my actions towards her make me feel ashamed._

'Chlo, I-' Small words fill their distance. 'I love you.'

A breath of hesitation before lips touch just above Max's closed eyes.

'I love you too.' Another peck. 'Dork.'

And vanishing up the stairs.

_I needed that._

Now, to find her friends.

The main lobby is crowded, but not overly so. Most people are sitting or loitering in small conversations. Half the individuals are nurses and police officers, with a few official types with clipboards and paperwork directing the maelstrom of activity. A trio of said individuals speak in hushed tones next to Max, between the security station and gift shop.

'...lucky so many were lightly injured. Could have been worse...'

'...can't believe only twenty people missing now. The storm made Irene look like a tickle but still...'

'...new count is four hundred and sixty four. Don't know where we'll store them all. We need to bring in refrigerator trucks. Who knows what we'll do with the unclaimed...'

Max needed to leave.

Without fully seeing where she is going, nor with a clear destination in mind, she walks. Not too hurried, not at a crawl. Random turns on the first floor lead her through the maze of corridors and wards. Past the emergency rooms, surprisingly quiet. Past the first floor cafeteria. Up flights of stairs.

Pediatrics and maternity.

Max pauses outside the doors, staring at the left-hand wall. Across the whole expanse, thirty or more feet of wall, pictures hung. Not haphazardly, taped to the wall. No, orderly pinned to cork-board. Certain pieces are even framed, and Max understands why. Some were obviously created by adults, the techniques and mediums much more refined than what someone would expect from a child. In the lower right corner of the closest framed artwork is a small index card.

_Adriana Stevens_

_Childhood Retinoblastoma, Age 14_

_Graduated University of Oregon School of Art and Design, 2011_

It is a pencil sketch, portrait style. It looks likes nothing more than someones basic outline of a person, probably a woman if the hips and bust are any indication. As Max stare, though...

_You can see movement. She's walking forward. And wearing something. A coat, I think? A doctor's coat! But... but there's something else there. So lightly done, you can barely see the marks on the paper. The coat has feathers? Wings? Around the shoulder, you can see how the artist gives the impression that it sprouts from her back as well as being worn._

The realization hits Max.

_She drew her angel. Her guardian angel, the doctor who saved her._

Next to the sketch, a crayon drawing. Dinosaurs stand in a three-tree jungle. _By Robby._

Further down, colored pencils depict a school bus shows a dozen smiling faces. _Timothy Richards, Arcadia Bay Junior High, 6th Grade._

Another framed drawing, this one depicting a male doctor wielding that weird medial staff ( _a caduceus_ ) like a magic staff, motes of light dropping onto a hospital crib. _Dr. Shells, thank you for all the breaths I take. - Sophie S._

After that, Max lost the detains of the rest of the artwork.

Eventually, she meanders back down the hall, away from the doors she stopped at. She heads to the one other room she knows in the hospital.

Kate's room is empty. The flowers are beginning to wilt but the get-well-soon cards are as vibrant as ever. In the middle of the bed a piece of paper lays, a child's drawing of Kate with the words _Thank You_ across the top, half a dozen or so children's names below it.

_No one will know what I did._

The thought pops into her head.

_No one will know that is was me that killed all these people._

_..._

_No one will ever know I'm to blame._

She's answered.

_Kate knows. Victoria knows._

_I mean the world at large. All the thousands I hurt._

_Chloe knows._

_I'm like the Grim Reaper. Walking unseen among all the lives I took._

_They still love you._

_Kate does because she's a saint. Victoria most certainly does not._

_Chloe does. Why?_

_Because I saved her and she's under the delusion that I'm still the girl she grew up with and she's almost as messed up as me-_

_Nope._

_Fuck off._

_No. That isn't why she loves you. She does because you have stared into hell and still have your humanity. She loves you because you are such a wreck and broken and destroyed by what happened. You made a choice and have taken the pain of that choice and you still want to carry on. You want to help._

_Because I'm guilty. I need to atone._

_Yes you do. Not because you killed people. But for your part in their deaths._

_Wait, did I kill them or not?_

_No._

_The Storm would have come anyway?_

_..._

_I asked you if the Storm would have come if Chloe died._

_..._

_Answer me!_

_No. No it wouldn't._

Max grips the bed, tight, to keep from falling.

_I did kill them._

_No you didn't._

_Yes-_

_NO YOU DIDN'T! You did not kill them. You made one conscious choice. To keep Nathan from killing Chloe._

_Because I'm selfish. I knew people would be hurt._

_It wasn't selfish. Or noble to let Chloe die. You were given a choice, in your mind, that Chloe's death caused the Storm. No proof. No evidence. You made your decision in ignorance of the true ramifications, even if you suspected._

_Just stop._

_You didn't know-_

_STOP!_

The screamed word echos in her head. A sharp familiar spike of pain lances her temple. A few errant red drops splash to the floor.

_escape_

The only thought in her mind now.

The stairwell leads Max up, to the roof. The emergency door, the sort to let off a piercing klaxon when opened, is propped unlocked by a small brick. Slamming it open, Max basks in the bright solitude the sky offers, feeling the sun on her face for the first time today.

Brief solitude.

'You can't be up here.'

Turning in place, Max sees the origin of the voice. An older man, late fifties maybe, wearing the full doctor getup minus stethoscope.

'Young lady, you really shouldn't be up here.'

'I'm sorry, I just-'

'Look, just go back inside please.'

A hiccup in that last word gives Max a moment of pause before complying.

'Wuh- why are you up here then?'

A bit taken aback, a bit... shameful, the man replies. 'I, uh, I work here. I'm a department head. I don't need to explain to you...'

Max tunes out the rest of what he says, taking in the details. _Red eyes. Was he crying? And a cigarette in his hand. He's sweaty. And those bags under his eyes look almost a bad a bruises._

'Sir, are you okay?'

Mid tirade is never an easy place to stop. A moment of confusion colors his features before anger takes over. 'Now look here, I'm fine. You should really-'

Max can't help it. 'Have you been crying? Are you okay?'

'I'm not going to-'

'I can listen.'

'Young lady, I really don't-'

'I'm Max.' She holds out her hand, right in front of his gaze.

'Doctor Shells. Henry Shells.'

 _That's from-_ 'Pediatrics?' _Keep him on his toes_

'No. OB-GYN, but I specialize in maternity. How..?'

'I saw one of the drawings dedicated to you.'

Relief, and a bit of embarrassment, flood his face. 'That would probably be Sophie's? She still calls me a wizard whenever she sees me.'

 _Cool. Making headway. Maybe if I focus on someone else..._ 'So, doctor Shells. You doing okay?'

'Max, correct? I really don't-'

'Because it seems like just about everybody these days is hurting one way or another. And all the people I know, friends and family, we talk. It doesn't make the pain hurt less. Just makes it easier to deal with.'

He hesitates.

'Just saying. When two people meet on a roof so they can get all emotional, usually means they have the same sort of problems.'

'And what's your problem, Max?'

_That's a bit of a conversation._

'I, uh... I hurt people. People close to me, usually. I don't mean to. But it seems like every time I turn around, Fate's conspiring to keep me bouncing from one world-shattering decision to another.'

A mild laugh.

'Oh, I'm not laughing at you Max. Just that word. Fate. That word's the main reason I became a doctor.' He tries to take a pull from his forgotten cigarette, but seeing it has gone out, flicks it across the roof. 'Not that I think fate made me a doctor. No, I made a career out of defying fate.'

'What do you mean?'

'Decades ago, when a person got cancer, they were "fated" to die. Polio, diabetes, even glaucoma. People were fated to have poor and often short lives. It was their "fate". But medicine... Being a doctor lets me fight those fates.' Another laugh, inward again. 'That's at least what I thought to convince myself when I was a much younger man.'

'So, now, not so much?'

'Oh, no. I still believe it. But... but a person can only do battle with fate for so long. You see, my chosen fight can be... overwhelming, at times. My specialty is perinatology. I work with mothers undergoing difficult births or with high-risk pregnancies. If need be, I perform in utero surgery.' He looks up, fishing his pack of cigarettes out and lighting a new one. 'That's what brings me to this roof today.' The first inhalation causes a cough, quickly smothered by a second. Doctor Shells turns back to Max, a grimace playing under his eyes. 'We had a case today that...'

 _Did I-_ 'Was it from the storm?'

'Oh, no, nothing like that. No. Congenital diaphragmatic hernia. CDH is when the diaphragm has a hole in it, causing other organs to enter the chest cavity. A bit rare but something I've come across often enough. I convinced the parents to allow me to perform surgery in utero.' He stares at the glowing ember. 'Fuck.' Eyes turn back to Max. 'You sure you want to hear this? It's not exactly pleasant, especially for a young lady.'

 _I've seen some shit, doc._ 'Please, go on.'

'Well, we caught it early enough. It was obvious the child would never live without the surgery. The lungs had already begun to deform. But this was a particularly difficult pregnancy. The mother had her own problems, from childhood onward. Something... something happened during surgery. Must have been a blood clot shaken loose. She stroked out on the table in front of me.'

_Oh no._

'We were able to save the child. Way too early for delivery, of course, but he made it. He lived. For ten days, he lived.'

_oh_

_oh no_

'Passed away this morning. Infection, of all things. And, you know what? You know what happened?' Shells' eyes glaze over. 'This child's father. He came to me, after the news broke. Shook my hand and thanked me for trying. _Trying_.' The smoke is out again. 'I'm not supposed to _try_ and save lives. I don't _try_ and make people better. I just do it.'

He looks up again. Emotionless.

Unknowing what to say, Max tries anyway. 'I'm sorry, sir.'

'Thank you.'

'Is there anything... anything I can do?'

'I'm afraid not. But you were right. Talking helped.' Throwing the cigarette butt aside, he turns back to the door.

'Where are you going sir?'

'Back to work.' He smiles and laughs but, this time, it seems more positive. 'Fate decided to sweep my legs out from under me this time. Doesn't mean I give up.'

'Are you okay?'

'Of course not. In all likelihood, the mother would have survived going to full term. The fetus, not likely. But the mother should have. Would have. My interference cost that young woman her life.' His eyes are glazed again, but the smile remains. 'But it's my job to defy fate. A doctor who takes no risks has no chance of saving lives. Most times, I beat "fate". But...' He shrugged.

'But sometimes you don't.'

'Right.' He stops at the door, opening it to turn back one last time. 'You have a good day, Max. And don't worry about losing to fate. You'll have your victories too.'

Five minutes later and Max finally organizes her mind.

_Amazing! This is-_

'Utter bullshit.' She stamps a foot, like a petulant child. 'This is some low-blow bullshit you're pulling!'

No answer. Obviously.

'Come on, FM. I know you're there. You're here because I'm here. So fucking answer!'

_hi_

'What the hell was that?'

_What do you mean?_

'You understand exactly what I mean.'

_Remembering being this pissed._

'What the hell does that mean?'

_Means exactly what is said. The memory is now being made._

'W-wait. You mean, this conversation is... not something you remember? Like, you don't know what I'm doing?'

_Of course not. We are quantum. We are and are not you. Before we talk, we are the same. We observe without changing. When we act, we change. The past changes, and so the future changes. We change._

'Holy... crap. When you talk, you are... whoa. No wonder you always seem so...'

_Crazy/nuts/psychotic/mean/unbalanced/confusing?_

'Um, yeah.'

_Eh, you get used to it._

'Wait, if the past is all up in the air, what if..? What if I don't make it to you?'

_Die?_

'Yeah.'

 _Can't happen. Paradox. Firm paradox. If you die, we can't talk to you and cause you to die. Tell Warren that_ _Gödel was right but didn't go far enough._

'W-warren is dead.'

_Oh. Later, then._

Max couldn't understand how FM could...

_No. Not crazy. Jumbled. All of it at the same time. Trying to talk to you while talking to you while talking to you..._

'Fine. You're- I'm- not crazy.' _Sure..._

_Be nice._

'Okay!' And the reason for the start of this conversation resurfaces. 'Wait, no! The bullshit with Shells. I know that was you!'

_So?_

'So? I know you only did it to try and make me feel better. You knew he was up here and drove me to meet him.'

_Again, so?_

'You're manipulating me!'

_No. You're manipulating yourself. You are not trying to feel better. You want perspective._

'A fucking sob-story!'

_No. You need to see that good people make mistakes. That good people do harm and fail and hurt others._

_You are not a good person._

_You are just a person. Small in the world. You can't do much to change anything but yourself. That is your power. All of it._

'No, I time travel...'

_No. You control you. Only you. How people react, what they do, is still up to them. You can only do you. Just... with much more precision._

'Fine! Fine, the doctor is a hero, I'm just a poor emo-hipster with "self-control" powers.'

_No, the doctor is not a hero. Or good. He is just a person. Like everyone else. He does, or tries, to do good. From his perspective. Means and intentions and ends. You tried to do good. From your perspective. Your actions were positives for people. Ask Kant._

'Like Gödel, I have no clue what you're saying.'

_Were you touched by the doctor's story?_

'Of course. It's tragic. He was only trying to help. And I know the parallels, of course. But he could have done better. He obviously missed something. Like me. He should have better factored in the woman's health problems. He's been a doctor for like thirty years? He should have known better.'

_The same standards you hold yourself. But you miss one big point. The only virtue good to have is the will to do good. A good will is all that drives a person to do good. The doctor only intended to save a life. The cost of his failure does not change his being. He is still a moral person. He performed morally, true to himself. The act it what counts._

'I acted selfish! I chose for me!'

_You meant to save a person. You chose to save people, through the evidence in front of you. One instead of hundreds._

'I gambled away hundreds of lives!'

_You chose not to gamble away the one you could save._

The frustration boils over into a yell Max barely aborts as it starts. The shrillness of the scream still peaks through the hands clapped on her mouth.

'Max?'

 _Another fucking interrupt-_ 'Victoria?'

'Max! Are you hurt? Are you okay?'

'Uh, yeah.. Why would I-?'

The light hit on her shoulder. 'Where have you been? Chloe's been beside herself looking for you.'

'What? It's been...' Max stares at the watch she grabbed from Chloe's house last night. _Two thirty? Did I zone out for, like, two hours?_

'Yeah.' The wariness in her voice is a bit thick. 'So, um, are you okay? Like, you're all here?'

'Yes, _Vicky_ , I'm all here. Just arguing with myself. You know, the _usual_.'

'Hey, we were worried. You aren't the most stable person right now and you disappeared without a trace.'

'So, now you want to babysit me?'

Hands on hips, chin high. Withering stare full of evaluation and contempt. The old Victoria is back. 'If I have to, _Maxine_.'

'Oh, you bi-'

Words drown out her response. 'I mean, you didn't just say you've been arguing with yourself all afternoon. Which, for you, means legitimately arguing with what we _think_ is your future disembodied voice, which may or may not mean you are crazy, which may or may not be driving you there. It's not like you were talking about self-harming last night, after revealing how unbalanced you are, coupled with literally the ability to tear the fucking universe apart. It's not like you're acting about as emotionally balanced as a mental inmate playing Russian roulette with uppers and downers. You aren't rotating between laughter, tears, anger and numbness like the God-damn wheel of fortune.' Victoria had been stepping closer and closer with each sentence, make full use of her height advantage as she kept lowering her voice until the last sentence comes out at almost a whisper. 'So, since you _are_ the perfect picture of mental health, what possible reason would we have to worry about _you_?'

_Victoria leads, fifteen-love. You want to serve?_

'S-sorry.'

Victoria isn't done. 'You have to stop with all the "sorry" bullshit. I already know you're sorry. Stop doing stuff you're sorry about.'

'sorry.'

The ridiculous of the apology, in spite of it's sincerity, starts cracking both their facades. As soon as one realizes the other is holding back a grin, they both break out with giggles.

Max calms first. 'How pissed is Chloe?'

'Worried, not pissed. She'll get angry when she sees you, maybe. I don't know. Your girlfriend is a lot different from when the Chloe I knew from school.'

'For the better.'

Victoria wobbles her hand back and forth. 'Meh.' And, being a bull in a china store- 'What were you and future you arguing about?'

'Morals. Means versus ends. Good intentions outweighing results.'

'Consequentialism, aretaic, or deontological ethics?'

'Bwuh?'

'Aretaic is all about virtues, not what you do or don't do. Consequentialism focuses on the consequences, duh. The net benefits should outweigh the cost of an action, and should be done to promote net gains in society. Deontological is the opposite, that people should strive always to do good, in spite of what the consequences are.'

'Um, the third one?'

'Okay. So, what's the conscious?' She heads back towards the door, prompting Max to follow.

'Um, FM says I'm good because my intentions are, in spite of...' All-encompassing gesture included.

'Classic Kant.'

_Maybe this is how she- I- learn this?_

'The best things in life are that which is both intrinsically good and without qualification. Basically, it needs to be a positive idea or trait, like intelligence or honor, but it has to able to always benefit a situation. Something like intelligence can easily be used for evil. Happiness can easily come from the expense of others. So Kant stated the only unqualified good is a good will. The sense to act because our morals compel us to act, not because of consequences or feelings involved.'

_I haven't done any of this in an emotional vacuum._

'But he was full of shit. Some of his stuff is great, like never treating people as a means to an end, including yourself. But he also had some stupid ideas about stuff like "universal law", where doing something once, like lying or stealing, implies a person thinks it's always permissible.'

_Okay, a little lost again._

'So I assume the Future Max was directly against whatever you were think.'

_Duh._

'And I assume it's because all those people died.'

_..._

'You still think you're damned because of that. Or whatever.'

'Not whatever.'

'Max, a lot of what Kant said is stupid and unrealistic when compared to the fact people aren't robots. But he's right about good will. A good person only exists if they strive to do go at all times. Like Kate. Shit, this whole conversation...'

Max pauses at the door, noticing the floor they were stopping at. _First? So, not Joyce's or Kate's rooms._ She prompts the blonde to continue. 'This whole conversation what?'

'Well, I'm pretty much convincing myself not to hate you right now.' A pained smile crosses and leaves. 'I understand why a bit better. I also know why you want people to hate you.' She moves onward before Max can argue. 'You hate the outcome as much as the rest of us. You think we should hate you because of what happened.' She pushes through the large ER doors, trying to orientate herself. 'But all the reasons you gave were about saving someone's life. Not just because you love her. You really think she deserves to live. I think, if push came to shove, you would have done the same even for a stranger. You just would never want a m-murder on your conscious, even if you weren't the one at fault.'

Max is trying to wrap around the personality shift that seems to have overtaken Victoria. 'Vicky, has you gotten into the Valium or something?'

She turns briefly and flashes a honest-to-goodness childish smile. 'Nope. Got good news this morning. Didn't want to interrupt your melt-down until you were done.' She takes off at a brisk pace. 'Besides, it's still fun laying into you when you're doing something stupid.'

 _Good. The world isn't ending... yet._ 'So..?'

Victoria opens a curtain partisan. Kate and Taylor sit next to the hospital bed, obviously carrying on a hushed conversation so as not to disturb the occupant. Considering said patient, a black-haired young woman who appears to be on some sort of ventilation, is obviously unconscious, the whispering is probably unnecessary.

_Courtney is alive._


	30. Acids and Basics

_*** Tuesday, Science Lab, After the Funeral *** _

Ten minutes staring at the simple chemicals in front of her and Max still has no idea what's going on. Kate stands next to her, worry on her face. Victoria keeps taking sideways glances back from her seat next to Courtney. Even Miss Grant notices.

'Max, you with us today?'

 _Huh?_ 'Uh, yeah Miss Grant.'

'Good. Now, Turn to page one-oh-four, we are going to discuss basic interactions of alkaloids and acids and the dangers of...'

Again, Max zones out. Kate, to her relief, seems to be able to reach her. 'So Max, you need to focus a bit.'

'Yeah, I- I'm good.'

'You... you really aren't.'

The brunette turns, finally focusing on her lab mate. 'Fine. I'm not good. But I'm here.'

The petite girl looks no less worried but she nods. Noticing a change in their teacher's inflection, they quiet their whispers.

'...remember gloves. And for Pete's sake, Logan, do _not_ light anything on fire. Some of these chemicals will react badly to heat.'

Kate leans over and whispers into Max's ear, in spite of the fact all their classmates are already talking loudly with each other. 'I have no idea what we're doing.'

Victoria, in a faux casual manner, comes over with Courtney in tow. 'So, how's it going?' The nonplus attitude fools no one.

Courtney speaks up, significantly less subtle. 'Max, why you acting all...' The accompanying hand movements imply a close, but not quite completed, drop into Crazy Town.

Victoria gives the brunette a little bump, shoulder to shoulder. The warning of 'Court...'

The questioning on her face is accompanied with a hint of a smirk. 'What? She's acting all sketch.'

Max interrupts before another fight between friends can occur. 'She's right, Vicky. I got, uh. I got a box of stuff. Chloe's stuff.' She tries to laugh. Sounds half-way to a sob instead. 'Kinda messed me up today.'

Courtney looks surprised and... contrite? 'Sorry, Max. I know it's, you know. Hard to deal with that stuff.'

 _Empathy? Like, who is this?_ 'Yeah, th-thanks Courtney' _Didn't even have to appeal to her fashionista._ 'So, um, what are we supposed to be doing today? Me and Kate kinda blanked out.'

'Calculating and identifying weak acid and base pairing with regard to salt hydrolysis.' Everyone looks at Victoria. She waves around a few pages stapled together. 'What? It's on top of the lesson plan.'

A clearing throat breaks the conversation as Miss Grant shoots them a look. 'Let's get back to work, girls. Max, would you please come up here?'

As the party breaks up, Max's stomach lurches. _What did I do now?_ Prepared to face the music, she stops at the front desk. 'Yes?'

A soft look greets her, along with a quiet tone. 'You okay Max, really? I know you've been having a tough time with all the chaos last week.'

 _Not even half of it..._ 'Uh ye-' _Why lie?_ 'No. Not at all, Miss Grant.'

'Oh, don't go too far. It does get better. It will just take you time, okay?' She smiles, a bit forced. 'A bunch of adults are going to tell you the same thing. Not to worry, it gets better, etcetera. It's all true, and it's the last thing anyone wants to hear. So just know you got people here for you when you need it.'

The kindness of the words breaks Max, just a little more. _This is why you are one- no, my favorite teacher._ 'Thanks. Just been a rough morning. David- I mean, Mister Madsen, dropped off a bunch of Chlo's stuff.'

A bit of worry. 'Explains a lot. Well, as your teacher, I want you to work diligently and pay attention. I also want you to be okay, so if you need to step out let me know.'

'Thanks, eh, again.'

'Of course. Now, go help Kate. She's already mixing solutions.'

Heading back to her station, Max pauses and watches as Kate very properly and diligently measure out specific milliliters of solutions for her test tubes, hazel eyes peering through her safety goggles. A real grin, the first in ( _It's feels like so long_ ) a while, threatens the depression Max feels.

A pop, a break, and a string of curses breaks through.

'Logan!'

Furiously rubbing his eyes, Logan stumbles back from his own desk. A beaker lies shattered on the floor before him, it's liquid contents strewn across the classroom floor. Noxious fumes push out of one of his tubes, the smoke billowing and falling to the floor below.

_What the hell did he do?!_

The flurry of activity doesn't prevent her from noticing Victoria staring at her. Making eye contact, it takes Max a long moment to understand the words Vicky is silently mouthing to her: _Do something._

Hand raised, Max rewinds.

Standing over his supplies, Logan (sans goggles) jokingly uses one hand to give Hayden a shove, who shoves right back as Logan's other hand directly pours out of a beaker into an already half-filled test tube. Jostled, the beaker spills over his hand, the tubes, the table, ad drops as he reflexively lets go. A pop of reaction occurs in the tube as a wet splash of the flash-boiling liquids. Fully into his staring eyes.

_Not far enough._

Max pulls back further, watching as the beaker leaps back into a hand, liquids transport back into their containers.

Max observes as the offending beaker is filled from a separate container behind one of the glass cabinets lining the room.

_The genius just decided to start mixing and matching... He fucking deserves it..._

A flutter in her stomach.

_Did I really just want someone to get hurt?_

_Yup._

_Shut it._

The pause in time adds a bit of strain to Max's head.

_Nope. You just wanted Logan to pay for his stupidity._

_That's not what I..._

_Yes it is._

_I didn't..._

_Yes you did. Watch out._

The rewind started flowing again, a crawl, as Max tries to time ( _Ha-ha, get it?_ ) her rewind to keep it from spilling into her conversation up front. And to keep herself from seeming to randomly teleport. _So much harder with so many witnesses._

She settles when Logan finishes closing the cabinet. _Moving slow enough there shouldn't be a problem._

Mentally pressing play, she reaches out, trying to gently grab the beaker without spilling.

A jostle, a curse, a look from Logan. A pop.

_Pause._

The first violent boil of fluids reaches up between Max and Logan. Fear in his eyes. Relief in hers.

_Damn, he's a klutz. Maybe if I..._

Again, jostle, pop, spl-

_Barely caught it this time._

'Logan, wait!'

'Huh?', push, jostle, pop...

_Crap._

_Take one for the team._

_Don't feel like getting blinded._

_Um, duh? Use your hand._

Looking around for safety gloves, the only close ones are all worn by classmates.

_Well, Vicky is in for a surprise._

Gently, oh so gently, Max pries a glove off of Victoria's hand. _Left side. Okay. Grab and slap my hand on top._

Trying once again from her start point.

And everything goes as planned.

Until Courtney speaks. 'The hell? Max, how did you get Tori's glove.

_Shit!_

Rewind.

_Now you have a decision to make._

_Try to explain how I got Vicky's glove off her hand in an instant or use my bare hand to cover the beaker._

_Yup._

_Which do you suggest?_

_Come on, really? First, you have to realize the irony of asking the voice in your head for help. Second, you're the one with the time lord powers. Third, this is a new one for me/us._

_Wait a minute. You don't know what happens?_

_Nope. Logan got blinded. The most I/we know is he's in the hospital._

And that information opens up a whole new level of understanding for Max.

_You're not just a future me, are you?_

The pain of holding the moment increases.

_Exactly. We are metaphysical. There and not. Yes and no. We are, at once, the end. And ever changing. The you you can be at every time._

_If I didn't already have a headache..._

YOU _have a headache? We are constantly changing as we talk. Without change, we are stable. But it is a spinning top. We hold position only so long as nothing changes._

Max realizes this is the most personal her FM station has ever gotten.

_Yes. You are closer to us here than before. Other yous are more distant. More divergent. But do not stray too far._

_What happens if I do?_

_We like who we are_ now _._

_The hell?_

_..._

Max loses the frequency.

_So. Decisions, decisions._

The pain in her temples doubles. And a new thought enters.

_Wait! I never held time still this long. I must be... growing._

She stares at her hand, focusing her mind. Time wibble-wobbles back and forth, to her whim.

_Cool. Focus! Ask Warren later, first..._

Max decides. She lets go of the fabric of space-time.

And slams her bare palm on the top of the beaker.

_Holyshitthatfuckingstings-_

Tears in her eyes, she looks around the room. Almost every pair of eyes available stare at her holding the corrosive liquid firmly in it's container. Logan's hands float around the glass, showing that it obviously was about to fall. Carefully Max turns her hands so the beaker rotates ninety degrees upright. Placing it on the table, only then does she remove her hand from the top, staring blankly at the half-dollar size circle of irritated skin that was already showing signs of blistering.

Raising her right hand, this time high above her head.

'Miss Grant, I think I need the nurse.'


	31. Lowest Common Denominator

**_* Tuesday, Still Science Lab, Now Nurse's Office, After the Funeral *_ **

The numbing agent finally starts working. The lack of pain is a drug itself for Max. Finally, she starts breathing easy again, not even realizing the tension that had built up.

_Fuuuuuhhhhhhh..._

The nurse said she wont be able to cover the area for at least another twenty minutes so Max must sit, staring at the raw circle on her hand. In fact, the nurse gave her a list of things to do: don't touch it ( _duh_ ), don't make a fist ( _again, duh_ ), keep it elevated, don't let any ointment touch the damaged area, don't blow on it...

_Basically, don't think in the general direction of my hand._

Max is curious, now that the pain emanating from her hand decreased and concentrated itself to the inflicted area. It's the first injury she's had in a long time, besides a stubbed toe or paper cut. First scar she will have since childhood. _I stopped getting into trouble a while ago._ It's ugly, red skin and odd discolorations. Straight-up gross. The blisters are minimal but where the pain seems to emanate from.

_I really hope I get something better than baby aspirin for this._

Voices, obviously Victoria and Kate, start arguing with someone in the office next door. A minute later the door opens, letting in the pair and giving Max a glimpse of the disapproving nurse, sitting at her desk.

'So, that was stupid.'

_Never change Vicky._

'I wasn't really trying to do something stupid.'

'What were you doing?'

'Well, I was going to help Kate but Logan tried to blow up the lab.'

'But your bare hand?'

'Trust me, not my first choice. Logan spilled it every single time I tried to stop him until I covered the top. Except when I tried to use your glove, people noticed.'

'Couldn't you, you know, have grabbed something else.'

Shaking negatively. 'Nope. I walked up to Miss Grant empty handed. Courtney musta been watching me. She might have noticed something anyway.'

Kate rubs Max on her shoulder. 'Well, at least you're okay.'

'How's Logan? He's fine, right?'

Victoria snorts. 'Mostly. Though definitely in trouble. He went to the principle's about ten minutes after you left.' A pained smile. 'He poured some sort of quicklime liquid into that glass. Remember that stuff from Fight Club? When Ed Norton burned his hand? Yeah, like that.'

_Harsh. No wonder it hurt so much._

'Damn. Guess it's good I kept Logan from splashing it in his eyes.'

'Really? Sh- uh, darn it. That could have been...'

Yeah. 'Yeah, FM said he was still in the hospital.'

Wide eyes and pale faces.

_Oops, bomb dropped._

Kate finds herself first and whispers. 'You talked to future you?'

'Uh, yeah. During the pause.'

'How was it? I mean, she.'

'Sane, I guess? She's acting a lot more coherent now. No more double-voices. And she was kinda... personal.'

The two girls share a look.

'She opened up, a little bit. Said she liked who she was now. Or, uh, in the future-now I guess.'

'Max, I don't-'

'Yeah, she's crazy. But I'm really starting to understand her now.'

Another look.

'Don't be like that. I mean, I understand why she's crazy. It's because she's changing at the same time as she talks to me. As we interact, FM and I, she's literally becoming a different person.'

Victoria gets it.

'So sometimes you turn really mean?'

 _Oh, Kate._ 'I don't turn mean. I guess, those times, I'm not really... in a good space.'

Kate persists. 'What could do that? What could make you hate yourself like that? To say the sort of things the voice did... Max, that's not right.'

I know that. And I can imagine why. 'Kate, you've seen me pretty bad. What if I, you know, lost it all? Some of these futures, I probably...'

_Fail._

All three of them know the word hanging in the air. Failure. They don't stop the Whirlpool. The town is destroyed.

Max might be the only survivor.

Thankfully, Victoria puts some of their fears away. 'Look at it this way. When FM is in a good mood, we probably won. It just means there's hope.'

In spite of how sappy, this seems to mollify Kate. In fact she seems positively buoyed by the idea. 'Of course there's hope, Victoria. There's always hope.'

_Walking, talking sunshine._

The nurse comes in, ushering out Max's friends. A pair of hurried 'Laters' before the door closes. The nurse immediately begins to examine Max's hand.

'I'm going to apply some mineral oil. Make sure you coat the burn evenly every time you wash your hands. And if you want to wrap it, not too tight. Otherwise...'

Max didn't mean to space out. But with everything else on top of the fact the pain is beginning to come back, it's almost inevitable. Doesn't help when words like puss and discharge are being used.

'...So don't hesitate to come in. Here, all my instructions are on this. And two things not in the pamphlet. first give me a couple extra Tylenol for the pain, but it's not going to do much. Second, and most importantly, no drugs. I know kids these days, so no pot or alcohol. You're likely to aggravate your wound.' The nurse admires her handiwork, and pronounces Max fit to leave.

In the waiting room, Max finds Victoria waiting.

'Class?'

Shaken head. 'Told her what happened and handed in my paper. Yours too, found it in your bag.'

'Cool... What paper?' _I kinda wasn't here last week._

The confusion is brief. 'Oh, right. We had to write a Lit. Media. Yours was titled "Persuasive Language in Stationary Images". I perused, not bad.'

 _I really hope I'm caught up on the rest of my assignments._ 'So, back to dorms?'

'First, lockers. Need a few books.'

The blonde's locker is only a few feet from Max's, so the brunette double checks she doesn't need anything. Inputting her combination one-handed is simple enough. Going through both her bag and her piles of books and papers, less so.

The pile of papers soon strewn across the floor a testament to that.

'Shit!'

But before Max can reach down, a pair of hands starts cleaning up.

'Hey Max. Lemme help.'

 _What is Justin doing? I am... am I nervous?_ 'Th-thanks.' Accepting the papers, stuffing them into her bag.

'Heard what happened. Logan was pretty freaked. You okay?'

She holds up her hand, displaying the gauze and wrapping. 'Sure. Can't see it but it's pretty gross.'

He smiles. 'Hardcore. Heard you were all bad-ass about it too.'

 _Don't blush. I am so not blushing right now._ 'N-no. Logan, just, he should have been careful. I just got lucky.'

'Reflexes like that is luck? Cool you're being all low-key hero about this.'

_Crap, this is like... Just like Warren._

Immediately Max calms herself down. _Familiar territory._ 'It's not like that. Just good timing. I most certainly don't have good reflexes, if the number of stubbed toes I've gotten is any indication.'

_So, is he flirting?_

He laughs and nods. 'I hear you. You should see how gnarly some of my falls can get.'

_Not really._

An arm entwines itself with Max's. Victoria is done with her locker. 'Aren't you a little late for class?'

'Naw. English. No teacher, no class.'

'Justin, it's Tuesday. We have Media together.'

Confusion. 'Oh.' And panic. 'Crap! I'll catch you later.' More confusion. 'Wait, why aren't you-?'

'Teacher knows. I'm taking care of Max.'

'Alright Tori.' He lights up. 'See you around Max.'

A shoulder smack. 'You handled that like a pro.'

'What?'

'I really thought you were floundering but by the end...'

_Must. Stop. Her._

'You freaked me out earlier with all that flirting nonsense. We were just talking.'

A disagreeable noise issues on her right.

'Fine. _I_ was just talking. Geez, not everyone has... sex in the brain.'

Again the noise. 'Max. Dozens of seventeen and eighteen year olds, living in the same space mostly unsupervised, hormones raging. You're the only one not like that.' A beat. 'Besides Kate.' Another beat. 'Maybe Daniel- Wait! Did he do the drawing?'

'Yes. Left it in my room.'

And Max falters.

_Along with... everything else._

'When we get there, can you... can you get it? It's under a journal... Chloe's. We need to talk about... that.'

'Cryptic much? Okay.' The blonde steers them across the front lawn. 'I'm guessing it has something to do with why you are so out of touch today.'

_Wait till you hear it._

'Yeah.'

Up stairs and through doors, Victoria drops Max down on her couch and helps fish out dorm keys. 'Brb.'

_I sometimes think Vicky was made to be a Valley girl._

A few minutes later, coming back in, and already shaking her head. The drawing is in front of her face. 'Yeah, I don't know who this is. She seems familiar but no clue why.'

_Too much to hope for._

'So, what's up with..?' Victoria waves the little concentration of anarchy in her other hand.

'Just turn to the last entry.'

'Why? What's up with..?' Words die. 'Shit!' More silence. 'What the hell?' And- 'From last Friday?'

'Yeah.'

'But Chloe was...'

_Already dead._

'Yeah.'

'Max, I-'

'Don't worry.'

'No. Max, someone is messing with you.'

'I kinda figured that out.'

Victoria won't look up.

'But...'

_What?_

'But this is different. Before, the photo. That already existed here. It was just torn. This, this never happened in this world.'

'And...'

Fear greets the brunette.

'Max, this is not just changing the past. This is fully pulling something over from a different time line.'

'That already happened.'

'No, Max. If I could travel, I could have gone back and torn the photo. We were all pretty sure there's another person with your powers. Now... this is really different. It's like...'

Victoria hesitates. Max knows why.

The last time they discussed the collapsing-world theory, she didn't take it well. _Kinda flipped the fuck out._ But she's more stable now.

_Right?_

'...worlds are merging, Victoria. Like we thought. Or whoever's doing this can pull stuff through. Or just travel to parallel worlds.'

'Which is a lot scarier. Because how do you beat that? We win here, she just steps into another world and tries again? What happens to us? Can she, like, _end_ this world and try over?'

She starts hyperventilating.

'Vicky! Look at me.' She does, but unfocused. 'Look into my eyes. That won't happen. That can't happen. Listen to me.' Two gentle hands holding her head, adding weight without associated burdens. 'I will not let that happen. I will not let whoever this is win.'

Watery eyes and glistening forehead. 'Max, you can't promise that.'

'I most certainly can. There is no way in hell I'd let something happen to you. Or Kate, or Warren. Our friends and family and everyone else.'

_I hope I'm right._

'No one is going to beat me. I've been through too much to let anyone beat me.'

_I wish I felt as confident as I sound._

'So no more panicking.'

_Not yet, anyway._

The confidence Max projects seems to be enough. It takes a minute but the pixie blonde does get herself calmed down. She isn't over it. No, there is still plenty of fear in her. And hope doesn't really seem to have entered into the equation. Her eyes narrow. Her mouth tightens.

'We're going to fuck this bitch up.'

This is one hundred percent pure Victoria Chase determination.

_A force of nature by itself._

'Yes we are. But first-' Leaning back and relaxing a bit. '-we need a game plan.'

'Yeah.' And she snaps back. 'Okay Max. We need a plan.' Rubs her temple. 'We need Warren. Between his science knowledge and his geek cred, we'll be covered.'

'True.' Now that Victoria is calm enough, Max feels like worrying again. 'But there is one thing still bothering me.'

'Just the one?' The sarcasm drips from her lips.

'Be nice. Scorn doesn't suit you.' _I wonder if she realizes I'm serious._ 'I have to wonder why. Why the journal? Why these games?'

'To hurt you.'

 _But it makes no sense. No difference in the end._ 'Sure, emotionally. But... I can get through that. I am getting through it. All it does is alert us to their presence.'

'Then...' The taller girl tries to reason through this logic, or at least rationalize any logic behind their yet-to-be seen foe. 'Then maybe she's scared.'

_Maybe I do scare her._

'Maybe she's lashing out at you, Max. Maybe all this wasn't about Chloe. Maybe it's her trying to just hurt you.'

 _Now_ that _is a scary thought. Who did I piss off to be_ _this level of mad at me?_

'I just don't know. I can't think of anyone I could have hurt to make this pissed off. Let alone somebody with this kind of power into a person this angry.'

'Maybe not now. What about in the future?'

Silence. One of the dangerous kind that has been plaguing Max of late.

_What could I possibly do to a person to make them so... angry? How could I hurt someone so much that they are literally trying to get revenge through time?_

Max remembers her future. The voices. And some of them...

_What kind of monster do I turn into?_

'Shit! Stay with me Max.'

Stutter.

_I hurt someone again._

'M-max, stay he-ere.'

_Just like..._

'M-m-m-m-'

_Like Chloe._

_I hurt someone. Bad enough to want me dead. Worse than dead. Bad enough to want me to_ suffer _. What could I have done?_

'Max!'

_What will I do?_

_Worse_

'Listen

_than_

to

_killing_

me!'

_Chloe?_

'MAX!'

_Huh?_

Stutter stops.

'Max, please stop!'

'Wuh?'

Victoria is across the room, against her closet door. She shakes, uncontrollably.

_What happened?_

'Y-you need to stop.'

The stutter is only in her voice.

'Whatever h-happened. Whatever you did.'

_Shaking like a kitten_ _._

'It hurt.'

_no_

_monster_

_no_

_you hurt her_

_no_

_just like chloe_

'no'

Recovering, slightly. 'What?'

'i didn't mean it'

Still shivering, still wary, still Victoria approaches.

Still sits next to Max.

'I, uh, I know. But you... you were using your powers, right?'

A nod.

'Whatever you were doing, it... shook you. It started as a flutter in my hand on your arm. But it rolled back on me, and kept multiplying. My whole body, damn... It felt like I was shaking apart.'

'i'm sorry'

'I, uh.' A cough interrupts. 'I know you are. But, please, don't do that again.'

_can't promise_

'i won't'

'Okay.' With a bit more confidence. 'Okay then. So, yeah, let's stop talking about this.'

'no!'

Momentary panic grips them both, for very separate reasons.

'I mean, just, not yet. Because.' _How do I explain?_ 'Something is still not sitting right. There's, just, this... eh.'

'Max, come on.' A hand on her back, supporting. Not a tremble left.

_She trusts me. To know what's going on. I know something, I just... don't know what I know._

'The journal.'

As if that explains everything.

'The journal didn't mess me up. I mean, yes, it really did. But... I'm happy to have it.' The explanation is hard. But gaining traction. 'I have this... concrete proof, now. Of last week. Of my time with Chloe. I have a part of her from then. Something I can keep, instead of just memories of stuff that never happened.'

'Max, you already had that.'

'What?'

'You have your pictures from last week.'

Silence.

For three heartbeats.

...

_Wait._

_..._

'Repeat that.'

'I said you have...'

And the other shoes drops.

'...your pictures...'


	32. Bedside Manners

**_* Tuesday, 2:44 P.M., After the Storm *_ **

'When did she..?'

'Sunday, but with all the paperwork backups, her lack of I.D., the chaos going on, they only just updated the roll call last night with her name.'

'And she is...'

'Medical induced coma.' That sends both of their gazes to the bed, and the respirator nearby. 'They said Court woke up for a few minutes yesterday. It's how they I.D.'ed her. But she's hurt pretty bad.'

In spite of the smile, Max can see behind the facade. Something not possible two weeks ago.

Victoria is screaming inside.

'EMS found her flipped in her car. Down by the beach, edge of town. I think... she must have been with Frank. Someone probably found something illegal on her but was nice enough to hide it. Or smoke it, whatever. But...'

The scream overwhelms a bit. Victoria hesitates, turning silent.

Kate, stoic, picks up. 'Three broken ribs. No internal bleeding, thank God. But her legs are a mess. Lacerations and fractures. A concussion. And her heart... The doctor said she bruised it.'

No inflection.

'All that, the dehydration, the concussion... They did an MRI but didn't tell us a results. We haven't looked at the charts because, you know, that'd be just wrong. But they're flying her out to Seattle tonight.'

Taylor speaks up. ' _I'm_  going with her.'

_Drama much?_

The blonde girl isn't done. ' _I_ know where my priorities are.  _I_ know where I'm needed.'

Max knows when she needs to get out of the way.

'Taylor, please-'

'Please what, Tori?'

'Please stop.'

'Stop what? Having opinions? Am I upsetting you? Fine, don't worry. I'll be out of your hair soon enough.' She looks to the bed. 'I know who  _my_ friends are.'

'Tay-tay...'

'Don't you dare!' And quieter. 'Don't you dare, Tori.' She leaves, a breeze in her wake.

_What did I miss?_

'Um, she's upset... because you're staying?'

Nodding.

'Then, that's it?'

Shaking.

_Then what?_

Kate, from bedside, explains. Or tries to. 'Vicky may have also said she's staying for us. She, uh, specifically mentioned staying for you.'

_Crap._ _My fault again._

'It's not Max's fault. Since Thursday, with N-nathan... She doesn't, I don't know, respect me anymore.'

_She doesn't fear you._

A stark thought, but one Max knows is true. That was Victoria's power. Supreme bitch of Blackwell. Between losing her mentor, her partner, her backer, and her queendom, Victoria lost... everything.

_Everything that was 'Tori'. Not Vicky. Not Victoria._

But before these words can comfort there is an interruption in the form of gangling arms and a warm embrace.

'Hey Maximus, where you been?'

_I can just stay here for a moment..._

'Earth to Max.'

'Sorry.' Blush. 'Lost in the moment.'

Two sharp gazes.

'Figuratively, gals.'

A snicker from above.

'Be nice Chlo.'

'I'm always nice.'

'Not even close.'

A shifted chin atop Max's head. 'What's wrong Vicky?'

'Nothing.'

_Totally not true._

Faking a bad Brooklyn accent, Chloe readies a pair of fists around Max, boxer style. 'Ya want I should break some heads?'

A little giggle, a smirk.

_Small victories._

'Don't worry about it.'

'Courtney will be okay.'

The matter-of-fact nature, off the cuff and with conviction surprises them all.

'She'll be back on her feet and running errands for you in no time.'

Max doesn't get to literally face-palm too often.

_She means well._

'Then you can be rid of us.'

'I don't  _want_  to be rid of you.'

'You sure? Because I'm not doing your homework.'

_Please, Chlo, stop trying to help._

Finally turning to her tormentor. 'Listen Price, I don't know-' But stops.

_It's like she trying to strangle Chloe with her eyes._

A sneaky suspicion sets Max to turning her eyes up and around.

The Cheshire Cat never grinned so wide.

'There's the Vicky we love to tolerate.'

Max and Kate both break out in quiet laughter.

'Fine Price, you win.'

'So what's eating Vicky Chase?'

The childish pout, knowing she has been soundly bested, is more for show. 'Taylor is being a total bi-'

'Selfish child.' The motherly look from Kate speaks volumes. 'She's being a selfish child.'

'I like my word better.'

No beats missed. 'She's going up with Courtney to Seattle. Though I don't think it's going to be in the helicopter.'

'No, with Court's parents. They're driving up, though her dad might be allowed to fly.'

Shifting movement in her hair tells Max that Chloe is panning back and forth between the pair.

'And?'

'And she's getting all high and mighty with me for not going.' Victoria turns to the bed, lightly stroking an uncovered hand. 'It's not like I can do anything more there than I can do here.'

'And?'

Narrowing features. 'And... I need to help here. I can do good  _here_.' A bit of hand waving.

'Well, maybe.' Palms up for defense. 'I mean, we don't really know what we're in for. Max's visions aren't known for their precision or clarity. But, sure, you  _should_  be able to help-'

A mutter about being at the lighthouse makes Chloe almost lose her place.

'-but this is one of your best friends. So, make it up to her.' Stepping around Max, the bluenette takes a seat at the foot of the bed. 'It seems like you got three options. Stay quiet and let your friendship fall apart. I don't recommend that one.' Her eyes find Max's, but there is no accusation in them. Only understanding. And a wink, besides. 'Option numero dos. Lie to her. Make it a good one, though. You'll think of something. Or option the third. Tell her the truth.'

Three jaws would hit the floor if life worked like cartoons.

'I don't mean Max's powers. Tell her the truth, lower-case tee. You are sticking around to help out us and the town get through this.' She pulls off her beanie and picks at some nonexistent lint for a moment. 'Can I be a bit of a bi- a meanie for a minute.'

'Didn't know you had another setting.'

'Har-har.' Fixing her hat and re-armoring herself, the older girl continues. 'Yesterday, when we were toking up. You said the whole thing with... with Nathan and Jefferson really fu- uh, frigged you up.'

_Crap, don't want to be here-_

'You don't have any reason to be, but I'm guessing you're feeling a little guilty about it. You know, maybe you should have seen something.' Chloe can't make eye contact with any of them. 'Maybe you could have stopped it sooner. Maybe... I don't know. I just do know that when someone- someone you know, someone you care about, hurts you for no reason, you... I just know you look for excuses about why. Reason's you deserved it. Reason's it's your fault.'

Max hears a sniffle, finally able to turn away from her girlfriend. Two sets of eyes greet her, just as wet as her own. One pair has tension and sadness. The other has anger and denial.

'I mean, you did nothing wrong. You couldn't have known. Hell, my last girlfriend was stepping out on me with the local drug kingpin and I didn't have a clue.' The chuckle that emits is painful to hear. 'It's not your job to come up with excuses for their behavior. That isn't on you. The only thing you control is your own actions and have your own reasons for doing stuff.' Chloe seems to snap back to herself, finally looking up and wiping her face, though her cheeks are dry. 'Oh, sorry. I, uh. I kinda forgot where I was going with this.'

_She never really got to process Rachel's death yet. It was only fives days ago, and we went straight through the eye of one Storm right into another. Hell, we haven't even had a funeral yet._

_Going to be going to a few of those._

Max reverses roles, going behind Chloe's chair and draping her with arms. Planting a kiss atop her beanie and whispering. 'you okay?'

'right now i am.'

Victoria is ignoring the pair, focusing on the form lying in bed next to her. Kate stands next to her, mimicking Max with her own low words. Finally, something seems to penetrate and Victoria's eyes clear.

'Yeah, you're right. Um, Chloe?'

Tensing and bracing.

'Thanks.'

_Not expecting that._

'I'm going to find Taylor and talk to her.'

Three faces follow her departure, though Max keeps Kate in her sidelong view.

'What did you say to her Katie?'

'Well, just that Taylor is going through all the same things as the rest of us. But without what Vicky knows about Max and the Storm and everything.'

_Not everything. Only Chloe and I know who's name was on the next binder._

'Hey Kate, I'm going to borrow Max for a private girlfriend talk.'

A flair of anger.

_What did I do now?_

_You kinda ditched everyone for hours._

_oh. right._

Chloe pulls her to a hallway, one as empty as a person could hope for in a hospital during a crisis.

A stronger hello than before, face to face with a tight hug.

'You okay Max?'

'Yeah.'

'Where'd you go? I was freaking when I couldn't find you.'

'I uh...'  _Honesty. No more lies or half-truths. That's where all this drama comes from._ 'I had a little freak out. I, uh, found out the new number.'

'Number?'

'Four sixty four.'

'Oh.' A deer in headlights. 'That number.'

'Y-yeah.'  _Push through._ 'Ended up running around the hospital until I got to the roof. Needed some air, you know. Met a doctor up there having a bad day too. We talked.'

'That's it?'

'No.'  _Get it done with._ 'Talked with FM and Victoria too. Helped get my head on straighter.'

A kiss on her forehead. 'Not too straight, right?'

 _She has no right acting so cute._ 'Nope. Not that far.'

'Good.' Another kiss, brief across the lip. Their first since the earlier argument.

Max lowers her head and leans into Chloe's closeness. 'You're in a much better mood now.'

'Yup. Saw the parental figures. They're doing good, especially Mom. Except David was eyeballing me again, but all smiles about it.' Chloe starts to shake with unreleased laughter. 'I think  _he_  thinks we did it last night.'

_Ohmydogwhy_

'I may have made a "morning after glow" comment to him when no one else could hear.'

'Chlo, why would you?'

The laughter finally starts to break free. 'What? I got to keep him on his toes.'

_Ugh. How am I supposed to face him now? Or Joyce and my dad?_

'I'm going to kill you.'

'Consider this revenge.'

'What did I do to deserve this?'

'For making sure everyone knew without informing me. Come on, I spent like half an hour with my mom going on and on. I need to do this. I need to do that. Don't go too fast. Make sure I treat you like a lady. Et cetera ad nauseam.'

Smirking. 'I wouldn't mind being treated like a lady.'

'Yeah, well, I don't think that's me. How about instead we find a new pirate fort for some private snogging.'

'Me likes.'  _I opened up. Her turn._ 'Chlo, what you said earlier. About Rachel. We never really talked about her. About it.'  _And if this whole relationship is..._

_You aren't just some kind of rebound._

_Stop helping._

_Just listen._

'Well, um. I. Uh.' Chloe's face turns crimson. 'Yeah, we never really did.'

 _I'm putting her on the spot._ 'We don't have to. If you don't want.'

'I, uh, yeah. Later. Tonight, maybe.' The bluenette starts leading them back but pivots. 'What brought this on? I mean, I know what, just, why now?'

 _Be honest Max._  'It was the first time you called Rachel your girlfriend. And we never really talked about that, either.'

A  _hmmm_  escapes the taller girl. 'Guess I haven't. I mean, it was hella casual. Not like I was seeing anyone else but, well, we didn't really have a label for it.'

'Oh wow, the teen anarchist eschewing labels.' A playful hip bump.

'Careful Caulfield.' A warning with no venom. 'I don't know. We were a "thing" for a while. And then...'

 _I'm picking at a scab._ 'Then she went missing.'

'And she was gone. And in the months... I guess I realized we weren't a "thing" anymore after all this time. But I didn't want her back because she was my girlfriend.' Chloe pauses at the door. 'I wanted her back because she's- she was my friend. I didn't want her to just disappear.'

_Like I did._

'Like I did.'

'Max, we talked about this. Different circumstances. I forgave you for that.'

'But-'

'Max.' Serious tone for a serious face. 'Talk later. Check on Kate and Courtney now. Besides I don't have it in me to get all emotional right now.'

'okay'

'Hey.' Another peck on the lips. 'I don't want to be with anyone but you. It's always been you, Maxine.'

 _Totally not fair._ 'Ugh, I'mma barf if you keep this up.'  _Never stop!_ 'And never Maxine.'

The grin is one part malicious, two parts devious, and three parts love.

Once again, Kate and Taylor sit huddled next to the hospital bed, quietly carrying out their conversation. Victoria stands at the foot, pointedly paying no attention to them while alternating between starting at Courtney and looking around. Quick hand gestures to Max makes the brunette beeline for her.

'Sup?'

_Too casual. Stop trying to play cool._

Whispered response.

'we talked.'

Waiting.

'and?'

'it's better. taylor's still pissed but i think it's okay now.'

'good.' And with false bravado. 'So, anyone up for lunch?'

_You're a natural._

_You know, as my future, you're really just making fun of yourself._

_..._

_Ooh, I won this round._

'Max, you do know noon was, like, hours ago?'

'Then how about an early dinner? Taylor, I've had like two cups of coffee all day. I'll start noming on people soon.'

'We really don't want to know what you and your girlfriend get up to.' A smirk appears. A real one. 'Gotta say, Max. I didn't know...'

 _What?_ '...that I'm gay? Me neither.'

'No, that your standards were so low.' She half-sprints away as a tall blur quickly makes her way around the bed. 'I'm kidding Price!'

Max sighs. 'Make sure my girlfriend doesn't do anything I need to rewind. And tell her I'm going to see the parents. Still haven't gone today.'

'Can I come?'

'Sure Kate. I might need help fending them off.'

'What happened?'

Red cheeks. 'Chloe kinda insinuated that we... you know... did it.'

'Did what?'

'Sex.' Victoria has a triumphant look. 'Max is afraid of getting the "talk".'

Kate looks confused. 'But they didn't, um, "do it". And like,  _that_  talk doesn't really apply. They're both girls.'

_Kate, you're going to make me explode._

Victoria's laughter is loud, if a little brief. But it doesn't stop Max from noticing something still behind those eyes, that keep getting dragged back to the bed they are leaving behind.


	33. Underexposure

_*** Tuesday, Around 3, After the Funeral *** _

The pictures.

The pictures from last week.

The pictures that shouldn't exist.

Alyssa, staring out a stormy window.

A skeleton, smoking in class.

A bird and windmill.

_No._

Chloe, reclining on a car hood.

Chloe, at her own computer.

Chloe, photobombing.

_No. They're tainted._

Around her room lies the strewn moments she captured in history. Each accusing, staring at Max as she stands still in it's center.

_No! You took them from me!_

Victoria stands with her back against the door. She leans away from the mess, trying to distance herself. Maybe from these false moments. Maybe from Max.

_Why are these even here?_

Max is not upset with these photos. Not the ones staining her floor. In spite of the revelation of where they are from. In spite of what they mean. In spite of the fact they represent an attack from a person before her private war even started.

Even now, she can't help but feel fondly for them.

No, it's the last four Polaroids in her hands that are causing such distress.

Half a dozen bottles, lined up in darkness.

The inside of Warren's locker.

"Chloe Price 4-ever" carved on a desk.

And a fucking giant squirrel.

_These never existed outside my head!_

The four offending pictures fan out in front of her eyes.

_My nightmare. They're from my nightmare._

She let's go, and they hang suspended in front of her. Outwardly calm, ever so calm, Max makes a circuit around them, mostly staring at their discarded brethren. All these photos now... offend her. But those circling her are, or were, at least real. Last week, they were real. This week may be a different story, but she remembered taking those pictures, the physical actions. The world around her wasn't caught up in her head. They may be tainted now but she still knew they would be a part of her. She _crafted_ them. They were a part of her. Her children, in some ways. Through the pain and love of last week, they were the offspring of her eyes and artistry.

The four _aberrations_ were not real. They were not part of her. They were a part of the _other_ Max.

Max as been holding the world still for almost ten minutes. A wave of exhaustion and nausea shivers down her spine.

Reluctance. Max lets the world turn.

'-do you mean, shouldn't exist?' A few moments of confusion, then a bit of anger. 'Stop time traveling when we're talking, please.'

'Sorry, I needed a minute.' Scratching her scalp. 'Lot to process.'

Marginally mollified. 'Fine, whatever. I repeat: why shouldn't the pictures exist?'

'They're from the week that didn't happen.'

An exasperating sigh. 'I know _that_. I mean the others, the ones you were holding.' The blonde girl looks around, spying her prey. Reaching down. 'How are they any diff-'

'DON'T TOUCH!'

Frozen, in headlights. Slowly, and of her own choice, Victoria rewinds, standing upright.

'Just don't. I don't know what it will do.' Max grips one arm in her other hand. 'They- they're not like the others. Those were real. I made them. Like Ch-Chloe's journal, they existed at some point. But the others... were only in my head.'

_In my nightmares._

'They were... they were what? Max, I don't understand.'

A whisper.

'i never explained the nightmare.'

'What nightmare?'

'the one with the other me. the gestalt of the leftover me's. the one where i made the decision.'

Lightning strikes in her mind. Salt water traces her face.

'to kill chloe.'

A weight settles. On an already volatile moment, the pressure doesn't smother it. It merely pushes the girls closer to the flame.

'You said- I mean, you said you met that crazy version of you. The one that was all for...'

'that's not all.' Max picks up the fallen photos, tension as she touches them. But no odd chill. No burning sensation. The only this she feels is the slight cool of the plastic in her hand. Glossy finish.

'i took this as i was forced to profess undying love to... to jefferson.'

_It was true before last week._

'i took this as i was forced to walk through the dorm, over and over, as i transformed unto versions of myself.'

_And you._

'i took this after walking through a reverse world, over and over, to the bathroom on monday.'

_And the photo that erased the skeleton._

'i took this after being hunted through hallways and junk piles. by everyone.'

_Even you._

'i saw every good and bad thing that happened since monday. the good was really good, but the bad... was worse. so much worse.'

The thunder is back in place, firmly locked in memory. The salty water still dampens Max's face.

'i had to relieve all my choices, all the things my power did. over and over. and alternatives and perversions and then... then i dealt with myself.'

'Max, that wasn't you.'

'all the left over bits and pieces of me. all the parts that i erased away when i used my power. all the subconscious thoughts and dirty feelings.'

The brunette feels hands on her arms. She looks directly ahead, staring into a without quite comprehending.

'she's a monster.'

_I'm a monster._

'But you are not.'

_Yes I am._

'You are just like everybody else. Everyone makes bad decisions, has bad thoughts.'

'other people don't make personalities out of them.'

Victoria lightly shakes the shorter girl. 'Of course they do. People argue with themselves all the time. They blame their mood, or hormones, or whatever when it's really their own decisions that lead to them doing wrong. This just means you are just like us mere mortals.'

'vicky, not exactly helping.'

A frown filters quickly through pixie features. 'I'm not trying to make you feel good, Max. I'm just telling you the truth. The only difference between you and everyone else is-'

'-my superpowered supernatural alter ego.'

'Yes, but-'

She pauses.

A host of thoughts play through Victoria's features. Eventually they settle on one that looks like... disappointment.

'Shit.'

'what?'

'She's in your head. Like, literally.'

_The photos._

'Either FM, or your split personality, or whoever's the new girl. They physically went inside your imagination and made something real.'

'Or...' _This is insane. This makes even less sense._ 'Or I didn't imagine my nightmare. Maybe that place is real.'

Victoria, already worried, turns paler still.

'That's terrifying. I don't want to even think about that.'

 _Huh?_ 'Why?'

'Max, you already broke time. I'm okay with that. I mean, in a sci-fi movie-of-the-week way, what you can do makes sense.'

_Really._

'Maybe just some sense. But enough so I can get by. Even the alternative worlds. I get that. But fucked-up Through The Looking Glass shit? That can't be real. If somewhere could do that- if a physical place could do even one of the things you described-'

_It'd be hell._

'-we can't win.'

 _Can't lose hope now. If she gives up, I won't be able to do this._ 'Don't talk like that. We can't give up.'

'Max, it's one thing to fight against someone like you. With your powers, going up against someone who can time travel, or walk between worlds, that's just a person. Powerful, but so are you.' A smile, a step towards confidence. 'And I'm betting that if they're doing this for revenge, they don't have backup. You do.'

_Small favors. But they add up._

Serious face comes back. 'But if she, whoever, can enter your _mind_ , like, physically. And make stuff from _nothing_. Or go to a place that defies every physics rule I can think of. And get back. That's not a person.' A shudder. 'That's a god.'

Max looks around the maelstrom of her room. The splayed photography. The upended drawer. A half-empty box of Chloe's life. The rest of those knickknacks strewn around the room.

_Why?_

'Why would someone like that come after me?'

_Why me?_

'I mean, they could. But to be all-powerful, at least compared to us. To walk through worlds to places that aren't even real? It would be child's play to stop me. Why would someone like that do all this? To torment me? Someone like that could travel back and stop me with a thought. Or destroy me now without trying.'

_And another thing._

'And another thing. These items.' She points at the photos, the journal. Entries start flowing through her mind. 'They aren't a torment. Yes, they're painful but... But I'm not getting rid of them. I love them. They hurt but... looking at them... reading Chlo's thoughts, things she didn't share, even when we were back together.'

_Journal Max, looks like the real deal with the wibbily-wobbily. She's got leet time-travel powers!_

'I got something out of this I never thought I'd have.'

_The other Max is kinda scary but totally awesome. Much more towards the awesome side. Besides, I like a little fear in a relationship._

'Not closure. I don't know if I'll ever really be over it all.'

_I'm just happy she's back. And hella cute at that._

'But I think I'm finding a real way to move forward.'

Hands travel up her arms to rest on her shoulders. The grip is slightly too tight. Max doesn't notice.

'That's something else that freaks me out. You enjoying this.'

'Enjoy is definitely the wrong word. It's more like I... appreciate, I guess, what this stuff is.'

Chagrin. 'Yeah, but you-'

'No buts.'

A harumph, a shake. 'Fine. You need to see what this is.'

'An attack.'

'Wait, you-'

'I told you I needed a minute earlier. I worked that much out.'

_I'm ignorant sometimes, not stupid._

'Good.' The obvious relief in the blonde girl's voice is almost painful to Max.

_Really Vicky? So little faith?_

'That's good, Max. I guess I was a little worried you'd just see it as a gift or something.'

_She's embarrassed? Should be, for doubting._

That thought causes a pause.

_Genuine confidence?_

In spite of her seemingly preternatural ability to read the brunettes thoughts, Victoria moses this one. 'I know you're not stupid or anything. I was worried you might...'

'Might what?'

'You know. Go off the deep end again.'

'Bitch.'

The embarrassment is enhanced a bit. Pissed seemingly one of her default states, Max isn't too put off by it.

'Hey, I've got a few examples from the last few days that back me up.'

 _Touché._ 'Still a bitch.'

'You know it.'

_We should laugh now. This is the part of our banter where we giggle and move on._

'But there is still something missing me about your bizarro twin.'

_When did it become so hard to laugh?_

'We may have your FM all wrong.'

The conclusion Victoria just voiced is one of those that, in hindsight, is glaringly obvious.

_My... leftovers already became something like evil-future-me before. Scattered. Mean. But like a little voice in my head. It's not too hard to figure out that..._

_No we're not_

_My personal Future Max can easily just be that little voice..._

_No we're different_

_Talking to me again, while I'm awake._

_No we're you from_

_Get out._

_the future._

_OUT!_

The mental door Max slams causes her to wince in the real world. Not unnoticed.

'Max? You okay?'

'Yeah.' Checking her lip. Finding it clean. 'Just getting rid of that bitch.'

'Are you sure?'

Cocking an ear. Listen to something she can't hear.

'Yeah, she's gone. She can still hear us, or me anyway. But she can't talk right now.'

'God, that is so damn weird.'

A deadpan look stares back atat the taller girl. 'Vicky, that may be the biggest understatement you have said and will ever say in your life.'

Neither laugh. Neither even smile. But the thought of a smile goes through both their heads.

Little victories.

'So, do you think FM is..?'

'I don't-' A shake, a bit of conviction. 'No. I don't think so. But what do I know? Could I tell if I was crazy?'

'You can't be crazy. If you're crazy...'

_Yeah. We'd all be screwed._

'But that doesn't change much. We still should take precautions.'

'How? Everything I know, she'll know. Regardless if she's from the future or just in my head.'

Trepidation. 'Then... I may, um... keep some things. From you.'

Anger flares.

_All the shit she gives me about telling her everything and forcing me to-_

_Stop_

_NOT NOW!_

_Hey, you don't trust me/us. I/we get that. Which is the exact reason why you should trust Vicky._

The obviousness of that statement smacks her anger down.

'Still cool, Max?'

The layer of fear before her just proves how misplaced that anger is. 'No, but I'm cooling down. I get it. The big problem is actually doing this. It's going to be hard for me to help if I don't know anything.'

A laugh. An actual honest laugh. 'Two weeks ago I would have said you were already there.' Victoria lets out another, with a bit of a snort. 'Oh, God, it's not funny.' A small fit of giggles breaks out. 'It's so not funny.'

The mood's infectious. Max doesn't know exactly why Victoria laughs, but she knows where her own comes from.

_Adrenalin. Exhaustion. Fear._

_You gotta laugh or cry._

'You're right, it's not funny. But what else can you do?'

'Claw out our own eyes and be a crying, gibbering lump in the corner?'

'Naw.' A mischievous grin appears. 'You forget Vicky. I've seen you cry and gibber.'  _I'm not quite sure what that word even means._ 'You'll ruin your pores that way.'

That sparked another round of giggles, from both of them this time. Only to stop when they received simultaneous text alerts.

Victoria is quicker on the draw. 'It's from Katie. She says to go outside.'

'Maybe she's out of class early?'

Out the front doors, several of their classmates were already in the dorm quad, milling around. All were looking up, most were pointing.

_Crap._

_Crap_ _crap_ _crap_ _crap_ _crap_

Max and Victoria didn't want to look up. They both knew what awaited them. Not the specifics, of course. But, looking up, they would see  _it_. The next omen. The next step towards their End-of-the-World party. Max firmly clasps Victoria's hand. Looking to each other finally, in unison, they both turn skyward.

'Crap.'


	34. Afoot

**_* Tuesday, 3:30ish, After the Storm *_ **

The food wasn't good, per se, but it wasn't bad either. What it did have going for it was quantity.

_Runny corn, runny mashed potatoes. Dry steak-like object. At least the sauce is good._

The plastic ware given to the girls with their meals are just up to the task.

'So I said that we need to make sure she has the best room because, like, I sooo know Court needs to have her feng-shea going even when she's sleeping. So I'm going to be all like moving stuff around. So that her Chi doesn't get all snarled.'

_Runny mouth._

To be fair, Max's mood isn't Taylor's fault. The cloud of ire that has settled around her shoulders is the same one that has been plaguing her for days now.

_Bet she thinks it has something to do with shea butter._

The current situation, unfortunately, is not helping this.

'And Mrs. Wagner was all like "We totally need to make sure her sheets are the right color". I mean, she totally _gets_ it.'

_Save me from chitchat. Let us please talk about anything else._

A moment of inspiration strikes.

'How's your mom?'

'Huh?'

'I mean, how's her back? Did she get through surgery all right?'

The blonde girl stops mid thought, derailed in her rant. _Too easy._ She collects herself, cheeks slightly colored.

'She's, uh, fine. I mean, not do yoga or any of that any time soon. The doc's said she's probably going to be in phys therapy longer than they thought. Something about her erect spine muscles more worn than they thought. I don't really know.'

 _Harsh._ 'But she's doing okay, right? Moving around?'

'Walking a bit. It hurts her a lot to stand for more than a few minutes. But she gets around with just crutches now, no more old-biddy walker any more.' An exhalation of breath. It's a bit too theatrical to be just a sigh. 'I wish she'd take the pain meds the doc's prescribed for her. But she's got to be all New Wavy about it and chew on roots. Come on, I saw what they gave her. Top shelf pills. Take two and a glass of wine and you won't remember a weekend.'

A quick hiss of 'taylor' before three sets of eyes turn to the diminutive blonde on the other end of the table. Sitting there, mashed potatoes frozen half-way to her open mouth. Max hopes she's the only one who sees the fork slightly shaking.

Chloe turns back first. 'Great job, Taylor.'

'Huh? What's up?'

The bluenette issues a sound of disgust. 'Really? Are you that dense?'

'The hell you talking about?'

 _This is not going to end well._ 'Chloe don't worry abo-'

'No Max. She should apologize. Like, right now.' Arms crossed, leaning back. Daggers across the table.

'What the hell's your problem Price?'

'Your fat mouth for starters. I think I'll-'

'Chloe. It's fine.'

Now four pairs of eyes turn down the table.

Kate continues. 'Don't worry about it. It's fine, I'm fine. Let's just move on.'

'Are you..?' Wagging eyebrows, asking if some skulls should be cracked.

'Yes. Let's just eat.' A pained smile, asking for violence be postponed. 'So, yeah.' A lull, tension.

_So very not hungry anymore._

'Shit! The party!'

_Oh Dog Taylor._

'I'm sorry Katie! I didn't mean anythi-'

'She said drop it.'

Not a request. Not even a statement. A demand.

_Vicky?_

'You've already stepped in shit twice. Just leave her alone.'

This is the former Victoria. The ex-queen bee of Blackwell talking to one of her drones. Normally enough to quell any dissension.

Normally.

'You don't get to talk to me like that!'

'When you can't watch your mouth I do.'

'You're not in charge anymore. You don't control me anymore.'

_We're getting stares._

'Considering you're too dense to realize making drug jokes in front of the person who got drugged and assaulted might be a little fucked up maybe you need someone to tell you what to do!'

 _Come on Vicky..._ '...just calm down.'

A dirty smile. 'Yeah, _Tori_ , just be calm. Listen to your girlfriend.'

The blonde turns beet red. 'You little bit-'

'Stop!'

On her feet and breathing deep, Kate's eyes are wet. Whether frustration, anger, or depression, she's obviously had enough. 'You're supposed to be best friends. Friends don't hurt each other. They don't stay mad. So just forgive and forget.'

A moment of silence. _Can we please just-_

'Guess it makes sense the religious girl would just like to forget everything. Do you think Natha-'

An arm slap from her side shuts Taylor up. Not before the damage is done.

_How dare she?!_

With a very, _very_ quiet 'bitch', Kate flees for the stairs. One last dirty look towards Taylor, Victoria and Chloe follows. The bluenette glances back, questioning Max. A shake of a head answers.

_I got something to say first._

A satisfied smirk graces Taylor before turning to Max. A lone target. 'You sure you don't wa-'

'Do you like being alone?'

The direction of the conversation throws the other girl. 'What?'

'It's a simple question. Do you like being alone?' Max presses. 'That's how you'll end up. You keep pushing away people and sooner than you think, you'll be all alone.'

'How dare you talk to me like that?'

Max keeps her voice low. An effort through the risen anger. 'How dare I? I'm the only one still here. No one else. You're pushing away everyone.'

The other girl's eyes turn hard. 'And why are you still here?'

'Because...' _Because why?_

_Because I want to bitch you out for what you did. Because you need to hurt the way you hurt others. Because you deserve it._

_Because I need to lash out at someone and-_

Raising a hand. A quiver in the air, a moment for Max to calm down. And say what she really feels without anyone knowing.

'Because I'm such a mess and can't control my emotions so when I get angry it always takes me a moment to realize that when I'm this way I need to direct myself away from the people I care about so that I don't hurt them.'

_Keep going. Don't forget to breath._

'And even though we aren't really friends I still care enough about you to feel some of that same pain that's making you do this. And I want it to stop.'

_But that's not all..._

'And the reason you are this way is my fault. Directly. I made the world like this and your pain is at least partly my fault.'

_There's the guilt._

'Shut up.'

_What? You're being honest. Look at it as something therapeutic._

Stepping back a few seconds.

'Because...' She begins again. '...I know you're pissed off at Victoria and I kinda know why, I think. But that doesn't give you carte blanche to treat her the way you are.'

'Listen, you little hipster trash. _You_ are the reason I'm pissed off at Tori.'

_I know, in many more ways than you can even guess._

'Then be angry at me. At least tell me why.'

'You ruined everything!'

The outburst draws further glares from the other patrons of the cafeteria. Standing and walking for the exit, Taylor flips Max off.

Stunned, though not outside what she expects, Max sits for a minute. Wallowing in her guilt.

_It isn't just the physical pain. All the people left are still suffering, and are going to continue to do so._

_Then do something._

_What's the point of it? All I know how to do is hurt people._

_I/we can't believe I/we were ever this wussy. Quit making excuses!_

_I don't-_

_No. Don't make up some bullshit. You're just trying to give a reason why you shouldn't try._

_..._

_You're scared and hurting and not the only one. You need to do something about it!_

Max sits for a few heartbeats longer. In silence, external and internal. With a minor grunt of effort, against the sour bile rolling in her stomach, she goes back to-

'Then be angry with me. Not her. I know I ruined everything for you. It's not Vicky's, or Kate's, fault. Just mine.'

'You little...'

'I know I upended your life. That Courtney's hurt and you're sharing that pain. I know you blame me for what happened with her, and with- with Nathan. Vicky didn't do any of that.'

'No Max.' There's a vibration around her. 'That's not- You're taking Tori away. I already lost Courtney and Nathan and everyone else. Hayden's dead. Logan and Zack are both long gone.' The blonde girl runs her hands through her hair, giving it a slight tug.

_She's not just angry. She's frustrated._

'Now you've gone and taken the only one left here.'

_I take and take and take..._

'Taylor, I didn't take Victoria from you. I just picked her up...'

_Be honest. Lying won't help._

'When you left her.'

'I didn't leave her!' And a few octaves lower. 'She just, just...'

'She was just falling apart in the Blackwell bathroom yesterday. She thought Court was dead. She thought you blamed her for that.'

Out in the open. Something Victoria couldn't say, not directly, not to the person who needed to hear it. It curls in her stomach as Max remembers those conversations. No one should have to go through what Victoria did.

_Everyone's going through that and worse, anyway._

'But... but I never said anything like that.'

'Maybe not, but that's what she feels. Taylor, she's lost as much and more as the rest of us this past week. Everyone thought Courtney was dead. Two people she counted on are in jail. She couldn't even talk to her parents until last evening. Taylor, she needed you and she felt abandoned.'

_Like what I did with Chloe._

_Digging up that old guilt? You have enough on your plate already._

'I didn't- I didn't think of that.'

_Of course not._

_Be nice. People don't have your powers or perception._

'I know, Taylor. But that's what she's been going through. So you freezing her out was the last straw for her.' _Gah, I'm oversharing Vicky's personal shit, but this is her best friend._ 'I found her in the dorm bathroom yesterday about to explode. She ended up crying in my arms. I had to do something.'

Narrowed eyes. 'Yeah. Stepped into the BFF role pretty quick, didn't you?'

'What would you have liked me to do? Let her go crazy all on her own?'

A shake, but not in negative. 'Max, you have no idea how obsessed Tori's been with you.'

The brunette's sputtering is almost comical. _What the fu-?_

'I half believe she's into you. Max, I've never seen Victoria devote a quarter of the effort into anyone else she did trying to outdo you.' A smirk appears, not a friendly one. 'You fully took up half the complaints she had with school. _That_ should tell you how deep under her skin you got.'

_Did I really have that impact on her?_

'Tay, I don't know what to say.'

A scoff. 'Go figure, the wallflower is quiet.' Still pissed, she continues jabbing in her point. 'You are almost as oblivious as Samuel. So let me explain _my_ point of view. First, I can finally get out from under Tori's thumb, now that those murders a fucking _gone_. Except Victoria goes crazy with the guilt at the same time a fucking freak tornado destroys my home. Then my best friend goes missing, my other friends _die_ or leave me. So, back to square one with Tori, except her guilt has her hanging out with Kate, trying to make it up to her. And _Chloe Price_ , shit. I thought Victoria _hated_ Chloe. And now you stand here, basically replacing me while one of her proclaimed "best friends" is about to get airlifted and she'd rather play house. Tell me, Max, how should _I_ react?'

Crossed arms and wide stance. Taylor wants a fight.

_She's wrong. Wrong to blame others. Blaming me for what she's going through. But only because she doesn't know everything._

_Gonna tell her everything?_

_Did you?_

A sigh, that almost turns into a hiccup. Max knows she won't be able to fix this. Too much between the two friends spoiled over the years from the sound of things. The sour turns worse.

'I don't know, Taylor. You do whatever you want, doesn't matter to me.' _This is useless, but I have to try._ 'But try to realize something. You were tired of the way Vicky treated you, right? Wanted to get away from her? But you're also pissed someone "took" her away from you.' Max turns, done trying to fix this problem. She's vibrating from the effort, keeping her composure. 'Maybe you just don't understand what it is you want. I hope you figure it out.'

An arm pauses Max from leaving. 'I''m not done yet.'

'But I'm done. You aren't the only one going through a hard time. The whole town, everyone left, has lost someone. We've all lost a lot of things. Some of us are trying to make it better.' Shaking her arm loose, Max leaves.

She tries to tell herself she isn't fleeing. Her attention is too divided between her walking and wiping her eyes to truly focus on that thought. Or the person she tries walking through as soon as she turns a corner.

If it weren't for the fact the body Max walks into is waiting to embrace her, she would have ended up lying on the floor.

_Chlo?_

'Shh. I got you Max. Don't worry, I got you.'

Max tries to hold herself together, to little success. Checking the hallway, Chloe leads them both to a mostly empty waiting room. Chloe makes an apologetic face to the nurse behind a counter, but he just nods his consent, closing the dividing partition and turning to his computer.

Sitting, staying close. Max buries her face into her girlfriends shirt as quiet but consistent sobs wrack her.

A hand smooths and soothes her hair, it's mate supporting her back. 'Try to calm down. Just take a few breaths and calm a bit.' A nuzzle against the brunette's crown. 'You did good in there.'

'N-no I didn't. I did n-nothing. I couldn't help her. I c-couldn't help anyone.'

Quiet cooing warms Max's scalp. 'It doesn't matter.'

A muffled whine emits from the younger girl. 'It does!'

'No Max. What matters is that you try. That's all you can do. Try to help people. Some people, like Taylor, won't accept your help. No matter what you do come people just can't be helped. And it's not your fault for that.'

'It's-'

'Do not start with the pity party again. We are such fucking messes right now, neither of us needs to go down that road right now.'

Sniffling. 'I, uh... I need a minute, Chlo.' Slow circles on her back.

'Take the time you need.'

Max finally emerges from her Chloe-cocoon, though the tears had stopped some time earlier. She looks up into blue eyes, embarrassed.

'Hey you.'

The depths of those eyes speak volumes. 'Hey. Doing better?'

'Yeah.' She turns away, reddening.

A hand gingerly turns her back to those eyes. 'Wait. Look at me.' The depths widen. 'Don't hide from me, okay? You never need to hide anything from me.'

In spite of her depression, of her anxiety, of her tears and anger, she smiles. It hurts, at odds with all the chaos within, but Max smiles.

_I love her._

'I love you.'

The smile is reciprocated. 'Love you too, you dork.'

'Nerd.'

'Hipster.'

'Anarchist.'

'What's wrong with a little chaos?'

'Nothing, as long as I get to say "shaka Brah" ironically.'

'Caulfield, you're playing a dangerous game.'

'Any game with you is dangerous.'

'Don't you know it.' She stands, careful to make sure Max has proper balance. 'You ready to leave now?'

'So soon? All I did was pop in on the parents.'

'I already hit up your dad. Mom's out cold, again.' Brief worry appears. 'She isn't as young as she used to be. At least her eyes are good now.'

'No problems?'

'Naw. We spent about an hour her just lecturing me about what to do at the house. Trust me, she's okay.'

'What about my dad? I've barely seen him.'

'Oh, he and step-David are working on clean-up crew.' She stares down at Max. 'For someone who barely knows what end of a hammer to hold, Ryan's really gung-ho to do some manual labor.'

A giggle. 'Let's hope they don't need him to actually fix anything.'

They stroll out of the room, Chloe throwing a thankful wave to the nurse still manning the counter.

'Shit! Chloe, how's Kate?'

'Dunno. Victoria said she'd take care of her.' She raises an eyebrow. 'I still can't believe she cursed at Taylor.'

 _Me neither._ 'Text them. See if they're good, if they're spending the night again.'

'Sure Maxi-pad.' The soft click of keys and an almost instant response. 'Oh, they're coming down to meet us. Kate says, quote, "Victoria is a messy crier", end quote.' A look of glee. "I hope her makeup's all runny.'

 _Not now, please._ 'Chlo...'

'Don't worry, I'll play nice. Vicky isn't as big a bitch as she puts on.' Turning away and mumbling. 'She's still a bitch thought.'

'Chloe!'

'Don't worry! I won't start any trouble.' Hands to ward off blows she knows Max won't throw. 'She's actually pretty chill. And hysterical when stoned. Not with the jokes. You can just tell that, for all her talk, she really doesn't have much experience. It was freaking amazing watching her try to work a doorknob.'

'You could, you know, not be mean about it.'

'Max, she tried open the garage door that was already open. And half off it's hinges. For, like, five minutes.'

_Okay, I would have loved to see that._

The front entrance of the hospital are as busy as ever. That is, there isn't a mad dash through the doors, rather a steady flow of personnel in and out.

_Not many patients. Looks like it's mostly official-type business._

The slack in patients in need should lift Max's spirits. Instead the sour of her stomach, still not fully gone, adds a drop of anxiety. She feels like something is still wrong. Max notices their paired friends appear from across the entrance, waving. That distraction still nags at Max.

_What am I missing?_

And then it hits her, just as it does Chloe. Both stop to see, out the glass and past the awning, several people staring up and out to the sky.

_Nonononono. No more._

She pushes through the crowd, luckily thin enough for her small frame to shoulder through. Breaking free of the doors, she races to look to the sky.

A most-beautiful Armageddon greets her.

White lines of clouds fan out from a center, off in the distance. _Above the Whirlpool._ Dozens, maybe hundreds, of these lines seem to originate from some unidentified point. Most end into nothing but a few give clue to their origin. At their lowest ends, small pinpricks of light brighten the waning day. As she watches a few seem to explode, as their ends finally burn themselves up.

_A meteor shower?_

For all the clarity the sky has had the last few days, the clouds are back.

Max turns to one of the other onlookers.

'H-how long-' The catch in her throat makes her restart. 'How long has this been going on?'

The uniformed man glances at his watch. 'At least a half hour.' He turns back upward. 'Would be beautiful if it wasn't so damn messed up in town.' He turns away, speaking into a radio as he leaves.

_Where's Chloe? Where is she?_

Looking back, she spies the blue flash of Chloe's hair as it finally emerges from the entrance. But Max almost ignore's it, noticing something else.

Brown hair, just past the shoulders. Tan skin, but still on the pale side. A more defined physique, but obviously feminine. Getting into the first parked car, about to leave.

_It's her._


	35. Aghast

**_* Tuesday, Post-Class, After the Funeral *_ **

_Like tearing down the sky._

Twenty minutes outside, milling with her classmates, and Max sees no end to the meteor shower. Her neck stiff, she can't turn away.

_Each line they make is another little crack in the sky. How long until it shatters?_

Warren and Brooke lay side by side on the grass, hers a face enraptured, his one of worry.

_I wish she would leave so we could talk this through._

Max knows she is being petty, wishing the girl would leave. _It's not Brooke's fault._ _We all practically pushed Warren into her arms. Well, mostly Victoria._

And it isn't the girl she's mad with. The sky is falling, and she needs to do something about it.

_So much for putting off the inevitable. Why would I even think I could?_

_Because you still think you're a time lord._

_I don't want to talk._

_Hey! More is being lost just talking to you than you know!_

But what, exactly, Max can't understand.

_What? Explain it to me._

_I/we can't._

Her hand itches and, with an absent mind, she scratches. Pain shoots out over her palm.

_Give me some straight answers!_

_I/WE_ **_CAN'T!_ **

Abrupt, Max stands from the bench. 'That's it, I'm done. I'm going to bed.'

Kate and Victoria bolt out of their own personal revelries. Warren sits up, weight on his hands.

Brooke throws Max a dirty look.

_Don't even start with me._

'You sure Max?'

'Yeah Vicky. It's been a long day, my hand's throbbing, and I have so much work to do. I'm done.'

Without pausing, she turns.

'Wait up!'

'Kate, I-'

The petite girl speaks in hushed tones. 'I need to talk to you. Something not about...' She glances up.

_Oh. Okay, yeah. Not everything is about me._

Max nods, waving a stern goodbye to the others. Leading the way upstairs, she pauses by Kate's door, trying to gauge where the blonde wants to go.

'Let me take care of Alice. I'll be by in a few minutes.'

Entering her room, Max is relieved to have those minutes. The disaster from before is still strewn across her floor, her bed, her desk...

_Wait. I can be more efficient about this._

A couple of back and forth times flows let's her get twenty minutes of cleaning done in less than five.

_Kinda blas_ _é about the whole time control, isn't it?_

She voices her response. 'If you're not going to be helpful, shut the hell up.'

_I/we are always helpful._

A snort. 'Really? Then how about you tell me something useful. Like who that woman is. What I need to do. What the hell is being lost!'

_Never said we were helping you._

'Then-' A knock interrupts. _Dammit._ 'Come in Kate.'

A quick open and close and she's in. Sitting on the couch Kate drops her bag next to her.

'So, what's up, Katie-bug?'

The girl can't meet Max's eyes. She starts slow. 'Max, you know... you know what I've been going through.'

_Oh. Oh crap._

Max is a bit... blindsided.

_This conversation._

'Y-yes, Kate. I, um, I...' _Have no idea what to say._

The blonde girl shakes her head. 'Don't worry. I know I'm throwing this at you. On top of all the other stuff...'

 _Gah! Can't let her think-_ 'I'm here for you Kate.' Sitting next to her, pulling her close. 'I'm not going anywhere. Just talk to me.'

Kate deflates, just a little, but enough to worry Max. Yet...

'I'm not doing good, Max. Better than before. No teasing or comments. And Victoria and Warren have been a huge help. But... but I'm still getting nightmares.'

Max has a rueful laugh on her lips. 'I know a few things about nightmares.'

'Yeah. It's why I want to talk to you. You know better than anyone what... that... was like.'

A flash. A _click-shutter_. A pair of lenses.

One holds Max still.

The other greedily watches.

'Y-yeah. I do.'

Kate senses the mood overtaking Max. 'I don't want to make you-'

'It's okay Kate.' Sounding more confident than she feels. 'I'm good. Just, keep going.'

'O-okay.' A breath to steel herself. 'I, um, I'm not like you. I haven't moved on.'

_The only place I can be "myselfie" is in the Dark Room._

'I don't know that I have, Kate.'

'Sure. But you got to fight back. You weren't...'

_The slightly unconscious model is often the most open and honest._

'I was. Just like you. Except I was awake for parts of it.'

'That's my point. I have nothing. I never got to fight back. I never even got to talk to him. To Nathan.'

_Please don't suggest what I think you are..._

'I want to talk to him. I want to ask him... why.'

_Always take the shot._

'Kate, that is such a bad idea.'

Finally, she looks up. Straight into Max's eyes. Pain, sadness. Determination. Need.

Anger.

'Kate, I did exactly this. I just-'

'I'm going to do this.'

Only one thought pops into Max's head.

'Why?'

'Because.' The petite girl pauses, a long moment. Finding preprecisely the right words. 'I need to fight back. I need to finish this for myself. I was so powerless before. But I won't let that happen anymore. How can I...' A stutter. 'How can I face something like this Whirlpool when I don't... feel... like I have any power. _He_ took that away.'

 _No, Kate you cannot do it like this._ 'If you're doing this for some sort of revenge, I won't help?' _It's so not like you._

'No, Max. Not revenge. I hate him. I _hate_ them both.'

That's the final straw.

'I can't keep hating them, Max.' The first hiccup between her words breaks Max a little. 'I don't want to but I do. I need to-' A second time. Her eyes turn down. 'I need to know if I can forgive him.'

'Those... they don't deserve forgiveness from you.'

'Max.' Reestablishing contact. Red, wet. But solid and composed. 'It's not for them. It's for me.' Leaning into the embrace, clasping Max's free hand. 'I need to know this didn't change me. I need to know that I'm still myself.'

'No one can change you.'

Before she could even finish, Kate is shaking her head. 'I know it. I can feel it, in my heart. I don't feel like the same person as before. Between the... thing, my mother, my aunt. The way people still look at me. No one says anything anymore, not since last Tuesday, but I can feel their eyes one me. People judging me. Or pitying me.'

'That's so... harsh. Why haven't-'

'-I said anything?' A dark laugh. 'I did. Last Thursday.'

_No!_

'To you.'

The shock freezes Max.

'When you were in auto mode.'

Sweat rolls down the brunette's temple.

'You said to not let it get to me. And I tried. Gosh, I love you Max. You were so supportive. But all you wanted me to do was ignore them.'

Max feels ill.

'I can't ignore it. I can't ignore the way I feel, like a part of me was stolen.'

'I'm going to be sick.'

A look of concern. 'Max?'

'I'm fine. I just... I can't believe I missed this. I'm so sorry.'

Confused. 'Why? You were doing what you always do. You are a big reason I'm getting through all this.'

'But I should know this. I should remember.'

Laughter. The good kind. It still reeks of sadness. 'Max, so what? You were in so much pain, with everything going on, and you still had time to make sure I was okay. If autopilot Max is just your reflexes, you are automatically a good, caring person.'

'That's, that's kind but-'

'But nothing.'

Max can't stand it. She hugs her friend. Part to reassure them both, part to try and express her love when words fail.

Part to hide the tears and regret.

_I can't believe... I missed out. I could have done more if I was just present! If I knew then what I know now._

_You always feel like that._

_You ARE me._

_I/we are distinct. What you do is different. Especially during the blank times. It is when you are you without me/us. A different you._

_I am always me!_

_And so you are._

Breaking apart, she still needs- 'I won't miss out again. I won't not be here.'

'Max...'

'No. I won't feel right. Missing out on something- missing out on you. Next time if this happens I'll tell you the when and you fill me in on everything.' One hand on top of two, squeezing. 'Deal?'

'Deal.'

 _I need to calm down._ 'I'm going to put on some music.' Max grabs from her pile an album she pilfered from Victoria. 'How about something weird?'

A chuckle. 'How weird?'

'Baroque pop?'

'...'

'Trust me.'

Simple picking, intricate wordplay, and easy saunter of the first few bars enter the room. The external stimuli helps Max focus outside her own head. The slow plod is soothing, the vocals crystal and clean and calming.

'Max, who is this?'

'The Decemberists.'

_Singing "Oh, the hazards of love"_

'Wow. The words are so...'

'Yeah, I know. Wait until "The Wanting Comes in Waves". Shara Worden tears it up against Collin's delivery.'

They make small talk throughout the album, listening front to back. Max, the tentative expert, points out the more interesting lyrical choices, while Kate makes the appropriate sounds concerning instrumentation.

Neither are ready to go back to their previous conversation.

_And these hazards of love, never more will trouble us._

'That's heartbreaking, Max.' In spite of the tragedy, she smiles.

'Kinda loving it too much, no?'

Turning a few shades lighter than true beet red. 'What's wrong with enjoying tragic love?'

'Nothing.'

'I mean, it's love. People fight for it and against it all the time. "So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three. But the greatest of these is love." First Corinthians thirteen-thirteen.'

'I know that one.'

'It's my second favorite passage. Matthew speaks of safety, of warmth and home. But Corinthians teaches you to spread love and well-being to others.'

And like that, it clicks for Max.

'That's why you want to see him.'

A quiet answer.

'yes'

'Okay. Okay, I get it. I don't approve, but you don't need my approval. You need to do what you feel is right.' Max plops herself down on the floor in front of the couch. 'When are you going?'

'I was hoping, um, we could go soon.'

'How soon do-'

_Wait._

'No.'

'Max, please just hear me.'

'No way. I am not going to-'

'Just listen, I know you don't-'

'-that piece of shit, sorry but-'

'-can't get there on my own, I need a driver-'

'-I'll kick the shit out of him-'

'Max! Stop cursing!'

'FINE!'

A knock interrupts.

'Go away!'

'Max, let me in!'

Max tries to yank the door off it's hinges.

'She's acting crazy, Victoria.'

The pixie blonde hurries in, hands on hips and an angry look in her eyes. 'I don't know who's crazy, considering I can hear both of you, clear as day, through two closed doors. Now, what's going on?'

'Tell her.' Max turns to the still seated Kate. 'Tell her what you want from me.'

'I just think it would be good-'

'She wants to go talk to Nathan. And she wants me to come.'

Sharp green eyes turn to red-rimed hazel.

'Why involve Max?'

'Because she needs this as much as I do.'

'Max isn't going to forgive Nathan. She's the least likely out of all of us.'

 _Wait._ 'You knew?'

Those green eyes now turn to blue ones. 'Yes.'

'And you didn't talk her out of it?'

'Max...'

The patronizing tone is a bit too much for Max. 'No, Vicky. You know what he did. All of it. You know what he _would_ have done.' Max can't stand the contact. Pacing. _This room is too small to pace!_ 'You know what he cost me...'

Kate speaks up from the couch. 'Max, you just agreed it was a good idea.'

'That's before you wanted me to get in the same room as him.'

'Calm down.'

'Fine. But I'm not going anywhere near that-'

Victoria grabs her by an arm. 'Max. Please calm down.'

_Fine!_

She shrugs off the hand, but doesn't resume the pacing. _I can calm down._

_Take a breath._

_You're going to ruin my calm!_

After a few minutes, as a whine of silence settles in the room, Max thinks she can finally articulate herself without yelling anymore.

'Kate, why? Why should- why do you think it's a good idea?'

The small girl stands, hugging Max. 'Because I'm not the only one who hates him.'

_I don't hate him._

_Don't you?_

_No!_

_Why are you so against seeing him?_

_HE KILLED CHLOE!_

_You let that happen._

There it is.

A pained note rises up from deep within Max.

'i can't, kate.'

Pulling back, using physical distance to try and force her feelings down. Nothing works.

'he killed chloe. and i let him. i can't... he pulled the trigger. but he was as much my tool as he was for...'

Kate tries to re-initiate the embrace, but the brunette spurns her. 'Max, it isn't-'

'yes it is. all my fault. if he had just... if i never had my powers, he would have just been a murderer. but that's not what happened. i am responsible.'

'For saving lives.'

'could i save you? all my power and i can't go back and prevent all that... that happened to you.'

'Max, you don't-'

'i am as big a part of chloe's death as he is. we are _accomplices_. guess how that makes me feel?'

No words answer.

'i never wanted any of this. i want to take it all back.' Her nose stuffy, her eyes hurting. 'i would never want chloe hurt. i'd kill to keep her alive. but he. he wanted to hurt her. to kill her.'

Victoria tries to interject. 'He didn't-'

'please leave.'

_I need to be alone._

'please. i'm not mad. i just need to be alone.' As upset as she is, she doesn't want to hurt either of them. 'i'll see you in the morning. just, please, leave.'

They do. Kate, hurt but sympathetic. Victoria, worried but understanding.

Victoria pauses closing the door. 'Max, please call me. Before you go to bed.'

'sure.'

A frown.

'i mean it. i'll text you later.'

As the door latches Max is, once again, alone.


	36. A Mile

**_* Tuesday, Evening, After the Storm *_ **

Max can't run.

It's just one of those random skill sets that most are born with but a few just never learn. Whistling. Skipping. Snapping.

Sometimes a person has a blind-spot in their abilities. A trapeze artist who constantly trips upstairs and stubs toes. A big rig driver who can't parallel park. A surfer who has to hold her nose.

Everyone has a random quirk that they find embarrassing and constantly seems so much more devastating than it really is.

Max can't run.

So she tries to briskly walk through the thin crowd in front of the hospital.

Chloe meets her half way to her target.

'Max, wha-'

'She's here. The brunette from my vision.' Max fumbles with her bag, trying not to slow. A camera is thrust into Chloe's hands. 'She just got in the first car in line. Get a picture before she leaves.'

Chloe takes off.

_A couple hundred feet and-_

And the car starts to pull away.

Chloe puts on extra speed, but she still can't run through the crowd. Trying to balance the camera in front of her face while still watching her steps, she snaps a picture, a second, and a third.

And the car is gone.

A hand on Max's shoulder half turns her.

'Vicky, you just missed it.'

'What did I..?'

'The girl. From my vision. Right outside the hospital.' _Finally we might have some progress._

'What?!' Victoria fully spins Max around, grabbing her and step right into her face.

Kate _tsks_ from somewhere behind the closeup Max is getting. 'Calm down. We saw Chloe running after her with a camera. Maybe she got a picture.'

_Oh my dog, I hope so._

And like that, the bluenette is back. 'Good news, bad news kiddos.'

Victoria holds out her hand, expectation written all over her face. 'Did you get the shot?'

_Always take the shot._

Max holds her breath.

_Where did that come from?_

No one the wiser, Chloe continues. 'That's the bad news. The windows were super tinted. I got none.' Two pictures are held out in front of her. Both just show the back of a car, dark silver. "Good news. I got the licence plate.' Triumphant, waving the third picture.

Max throws her arms around her girlfriend, pulling her down for a kiss. Victoria fakes a gagging noise behind them.

_Fuck off. She earned this one._

They stand together for a long minute.

_Maybe we're overdoing it._

Finally breaking apart, both a bit out of breath. As usual, Chloe regains herself first. 'If I knew a few pictures would get me _that_ , I would have started sending you naughty ones as soon as I could.'

The blue-haired girl is the only one not turned red.

'Uh, as nice as it is to finally have _some_ sort of lead, how are we going to get anywhere with a licence plate?'

Max audibly snorts. 'Vicky, we can look up whose it is online.'

'Again I say "Uh, how?" Power isn't back on. Internet is out across town. And I barely have bars on my phone.'

_Oh, yeah. Well-_

'The library?'

'Closed already. If it's even open anymore.'

'The, um... The DMV?'

'Yeah, let's just walk in and ask them to run it through their database. Shouldn't take more than six weeks.'

 _Who else?_ 'The police?'

'I'm sure they would love to help out some high school students during an emergency. Because we _obviously_ can explain why we need to know who owns this Mercedes.'

'You know the car?'

'Yeah. Mercedes-Benz CL 600.' She looks at the incredulous faces. 'It says so right on the car.'

_So it does. That's cheating._

Continuing. 'That's an expensive car. Six figures, at least. Not many of those in the Bay.'

Chloe plucks the picture out of Victoria's hand. 'That's a start, at least.'

In spite of the less-than-ideal outcome, Max can't help but laugh.

The quietest questions. 'What's wrong, Max?'

'Nothing. I'm just... I'm giddy. We finally have something we can use. Kate, for once I didn't have the mess with fate. We finally have something we can use.'

Kate smiles, infected by Max's optimism. Chloe hugs her from behind, swaying slightly. Even Victoria's facade cracks with a half-real grin.

'Okay, girls. Let's get back the chateau-de-Price. It's getting dark and we have a lot to plan.'

'Sure, Chlo.' Kate practically skips towards the parking lot. Victoria follows, but slowly.

'You know, Max. It isn't going to be easy.'

_Total buzz-kill._

Still, even Max's mood starts to sour on the way to Chloe's car.

_She's right. We don't have any way to find out who owns that car._

'Max, you going to get in?'

_Even if we figure out that, what if we can't figure out-_

'Max!'

She takes a step forward, bumping into the side of the truck. She hadn't realized she already held the handle.

Cheeks burn. 'Sorry.'

A cough of the engine and they're headed home.

'Max, I got an idea.'

'Bout what?'

'The licence plate. Step-douche- I mean, David. He knows a few guys on the police force. Maybe I can call him and see if he knows someone?'

_Don't really want to get anyone else involved. Not after what David did to..._

_That wasn't him. You did that._

_I..._

_You didn't have to-_

_I know._

'Maybe... Actually, yeah. It's a good idea. I just... i don't want to get him involved like last time.'

A sharp intake, Chloe reaching out to grab the brunette's hand. 'Trust me, I want to keep him away from this one. The whole thing, in the Dark...'

'Yeah.'

The silence is deep between them.

'Do you wanna..?'

'No Chlo. But... we do need to talk to David.' Max lights up at the familiar house appearing before the headlights. 'But in the morning.'

As they gather their belongings, Kate and Victoria pull up, blocking the driveway. As one, they enter.

Victoria beats the rest to the stairs. 'I'm showering.'

'Kay. Kate, want to help make dinner?' Max peers through the grocery bag she holds. 'A sandwich banquet fit for a queen.'

'Sure!' She skips the ten feet to the kitchen, disappearing around the corner.

Chloe squeezes Max's arm before heading up. 'I'm going to get Mom's room ready for them. We got an extra bed, might as well make sure Kate has a comfortable night.'

'And Vicky.'

'Sure...'

A voice speaks up from further into the house. 'Check on Alice for me please!' Chloe has a bit of renewed vigor heading upstairs.

A half hour later, stomachs full, the four girls sit in almost identical positions from the night before. The only real difference is Alice has a seat at the table tonight. The dual affections of both Kate and Chloe has the rabbit turning back a forth between their voices.

_She'll get whiplash if they keep this up._

'I'm board.'

'Sorry we are not entertaining, Miss Chase.'

'Shush, Che.'

'Well, what do you want? I'm out of bud, not that I really want a repeat of _last_ night. We still got the board games.'

'How about that?'

Max traces her finger to just beside the bed.

'My guitar?'

'Yeah. I can kinda play. Not well, but I know how to keep tempo.'

_Wonders never cease..._

Getting up, Max pulls out her instrument, handing it over. 'Go for it. Might need some tuning.'

'Don't worry. I know about three songs, and they are all stupid easy.'

She strikes one chord, checking her hands. Without hesitation, she begins striking a steady staccato, minor oscillations. As the chorus comes around, four grins start singing in unison.

_It just takes some time_

_Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride_

_Everything, everything will be just fine_

_Everything, everything will be all right_

And without a pause, Kate takes over the second verse.

_Hey_

_You know they're all the same_

_You know you're doing better on you're on so don't buy in_

_Live right now_

_Just be yourself_

_It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else_

Back into the chorus, no one else steps in. All eyes on her and her cheeks bright red, Kate still has a smile on that threatens to prevent her words. Victoria plays through (skipping the solo), and as the last chord is struck she giggles and starts applauding. The rest of Kate's audience joins in a moment later.

'Wow, Kate, that was awesome.'

'Thanks.' She covers her face, a vane attempt to hide her blush. 'I sang for years in my church.'

'But Jimmy Eat World? You never played something like that on your violin before.'

'What, you thought I was raised on classical and choirs only?' She laughs. 'I was in a after-school band on top of my violin practice growing up. My classmates used to trade music.' She lowers her voice into a conspiratorial tone. 'I used to sneak CDs into my house.'

Chloe has a devilish look in her eye. 'You little heck-raiser.'

More laughs. They quickly start trying to one-up each other, digging into their respective libraries of obscurity.

'I mean, Cage's second album wasn't as good as their first but it's-'

'Wait, who's Cage?'

Chloe makes a double-take. 'Victoria, how do you not know Cage the Elephant?'

'Um...' Kate's bashful interjection causes Chloe's head to whip around. 'I, uh, don't know them either.'

'Are you kidding? They're all over the place! Honestly they're basically mainstream!'

 _She's yelling._ 'Chlo, take it down a notch.'

The bluenette backpedals, realizing how loud she's gotten. 'Sorry. But, Max, come on. You have to know them.'

'Of course. And Thank You Happy Birthday is so much better.'

Sharp eyes answer her. 'Traitor.'

'No, really. Right Before My Eyes? Shake Me Down? Around My Head? Come on, nothing on the self-titled comes even close.'

'You can't be-'

'Hang on.' Max raises her hand, cutting off Chloe.

_Let me... Let's do this._

Max strikes a chord, tuning a bit. She starts keeping time, quietly stomping out the tempo. The first four measures ring out, light plucking along the scale.

_Looking out my window_

_Wonder how it came to be_

_Feels just like a tempo_

_Lifted by a gentle breeze_

_Ugly as a suitcase_

_I can see it stretch for days_

_Hanging on a sunset_

_Softly trampled by the rain_

She has the dead-pan delivery of Matt Shultz, but with a slight change to the emphasis. The chorus isn't as dejected. Instead Max reaches with it, pleading with the world.

_Way too long_

_Hold on, hold on_

_Dead and gone_

_So long, hold on_

_Way too long_

_Hold on, hold on_

_Dead and gone_

_So long, hold on_

_So long, hold on_

A few extra notes played here. Two measures, to be precise, to catch her breath.

_Looking out my window_

_Trying to find a hiding place_

_Climb into the tree tops_

_Watch it all just drift away_

Chloe comes in, softly, to complement her in the final chorus

_Way too long_

_Hold on, hold on_

_Dead and gone_

_So long, hold on_

_Way too long_

_Hold on, hold on_

_Dead and gone_

_So long, hold on_

_So long, hold on_

Max takes extra liberty with the outro. Instead of repeating the chorus she experiments, playing an expanded version of the riff. It's during the fourth measure she miss-strikes and, feeling the song getting away from her, Max quietly finishes and lets it end.

Arms grab her from behind the chair, lips peck at her temple. A bobbing blur of blue nuzzles her from behind.

'You convinced me, Max. Flow is definitely their best song.'

A giggle and quiet applause, and then a yawn that could crack a jaw. Kate gives her head a shake before frowning. 'Sorry. Gonna have to call it a night.'

Victoria reciprocates with a yawn of her own. 'Good call. Got to get up early and bother some cops anyway.'

Minutes later, changed into her nightwear, Max eyes the lone bed of the room with some trepidation.

Rather, she eyes the occupant.

'You know, Chlo, I could...'

A snort. 'This again? Just get over here dork.' Shuffled blankets and a spot opens under a waiting arm. 'Come on, before I get cold.'

Hesitant, Max still lies down. The arm encapsulates her, bringing a blanket with. Her back to the bluenette, Max feels the warm body snuggle closer, the arm snaking up to clasp her hands.

 _This is-_ '...still weird, Che.'

The laughter in the other girl bounces Max in place. 'Why? Afraid you're going to ravish me?'

'Chlo...'

'Don't worry, I can defend myself.' More shifting, as two bodies try to find their comfort spots. '...maybe not against you.'

_Chloe!_

Sensing the brunette's alarm. 'i told you max. you're not ready. neither am i. i just... need this. snuggles and kisses.' A hand shakes free of Max's pair, traveling down to rest on the younger girls stomach. 'closeness.'

_That... that's what I need._

As sleep takes hold of Max, the warm breath on her neck soothes the wrinkles in her mind. Light humming accompanies that warms, a melody tickling the back of her mind. Slowly, with delicate intent yet abrupt in the stillness just before sleep, the hand on her stomach travels to lightly trace just under her lowest ribs. Finally a chorus emerges from that breath, just loud enough to scratch that itch.

_I don't think it's very nice_

_To walk around my head all night_

_You got me tangled like a braid, tied-twisted_

_I don't think it's fair_

_Do yooou?_


	37. A Message

**_* Tuesday, Just Prior the Witch's Hour, After the Funeral *_ **

_I need sleep..._

Instead, Max hits repeat on her stereo, starting up Prologue. A wine, bleeding into a crescendo, falling into a note, degrading into a downward spiral of tones and feedback.

She glances again at her phone. Willing someone to contact her again. Dreading that very same thing.

All flat chords, all down strokes. _Fitting._ Max may have only heard this album today but, starting her fifth listen, she is already intimate with every note, every melody, every word and instrument.

Kettering starts, a soft piano low-key beating out minor notes in steady repetition. Wet whispers from Peter Silberman, so close the mic is less in front of him and more like it resides in his vocal chords.

_I wish that I had known in that first minute we met_

_The unpayable debt that I owed you._

_'Cause you'd been abused by that bone that refused you_

_And you hired me to make up for that._

_Walking in that room when you had tubes in your arms_

_Those singing morphine alarms out of tune._

_They kept you sleeping and even, and I didn't believe them_

_When they called you a hurricane thunderclap._

_When I was checking vitals I suggested a smile_

_You didn't talk for awhile, you were freezing._

_You said you hated my tone, it made you feel so alone_

_And so you told me I ought to be leaving._

_But something kept me standing by that hospital bed_

_I should have quit but instead I took care of you._

_You made me sleep all uneven, and I didn't believe them_

_When they told me that there was no saving you._

Max mouths the words along, letting the latter half of the song, the uptake that crests higher and decays into pure vocalization take her away.

Away back _there_ , sitting along side those machines, those same tubes. A book of photos she still clutches tightly to her breast. Beautiful blue eyes fill her with love and fear and anger and...

So.

Much.

Pain.

Through the blue eyes Max can see the battered CD case, just barely. A pair of pure white hands reach to touch. The emergency bracelet pulls back one, lifting and dragging it away from it's mate. The title, a mockery of her world, her life, white on the bloody red background.

_Hospice._

Where the ill go to die.

_The physically ill. Not those in mental decline. Not those of us..._

Atrophy comes on.

_You've been living awhile in the front of my skull, making orders_

The slow metronome of the heart monitor. A held hand, unable to respond to the pressure. Max fights to stay awake but Harrison Ford's narration lulls her.

_She's just lying there. Struggling to breath._

Pulling the beanie over her eyes, she wills herself to sleep.

She sees her hand pressing the plunger.

_No one's gonna come as long as I lay still in bed beside her_

Blue eyes, matching blue wings. Bleach and dampness. Two voices, arguing. _Who does business in a bathroom?_ The tile is cold.

_bang_

Damp, loamy dirt. Easy to move. _We already dug here today._ The smell. And click.

_bang_

It's amazing how loud a gun is inside, how quiet out. Not like Hollywood sound effects. Not as gory, either. A neat little hole. Plenty of blood, but such a small hole.

_bang_

Max jumps. _Who's knocking at..._ 11:39 p.m. Her phone hurts her eyes in the low light of the room. And multiple unanswered texts.

Max: go away

Another knock, lighter. A pause. A chime from her hand

Victoria: you said we'd talk

Max: go away.

Victoria: let me in

Victoria: not leaving

Victoria: gonna bother you all night until you open up

...

Victoria: Max?

A minute or two. The phone rings.

_Please just leave me..._

It ends only to ring again.

_Fine._

'I said go away.'

'Are you- did you hurt your throat?'

Raw is the only descriptor that properly describes Max's voice. The kind of texture that only comes when you've been yelling all day. But Max hasn't spoken in hours. She's raw from holding it all in.

'I'm fine. I'm hanging up now.'

'Max! Wait, I want to talk.'

'I don't.'

'Just let me explain why-'

No pomp. She just hangs up. _No more talking. Every time I talk, it hurts._

Victoria: please just listen to me for a moment

Victoria: or read this i mean

Victoria: kate's worried she knows you're upset

Victoria: she knows why and she doesnt need you to come tomorrow

Victoria: but i'm taking her to see him

Victoria: and i want you to come

Max: why do you want to do this to me

The time changes, a minute forward. No answer forthcoming. Max stares at her phone waiting.

Another minute.

Victoria: because he's the bad guy. not you. i know you blame yourself and you have reasons why. but you didnt pull the trigger. you didnt hurt people just cause your daddys rich. you let that happen because too many other people would get hurt. you saved lives. you and chloe.

Max: but why go you haven't explained that

Victoria: because you need to SEE him. he did this. you need to see that hes a different person.

Victoria: just see that there is someone to blame and thats not you

Max: ill think about it

Victoria: can you let me in?

Hesitant, but... _Fine! Just to get her to leave me alone._ Max shuts the music, opens the door. A distraught Victoria almost barrels over her to sit on the bed.

Neither talk for a long minute.

'I know why Katie wants to go. And why you want me to go. But why... are you going?'

The blonde takes a moment, though she had to be expecting a question like this. 'I want to say goodbye.'

_So simple but-_

'I need to end my life with him. I need Nathan out of my life. And I need to tell him all this.' Pulling her feet up, she wraps arms around legs. Max sits next to her. 'It's not like I'm going to ask him why or any shit like that. Why doesn't matter. I need to make sure he knows he's out of my life.'

'Why is it so important that-'

'He's tried calling me. Twice at least.'

_That fucking insane..._

'The first time was Tuesday, right after Jeffershit was arrested. I got one of those "do you accept the charges" and when he said my name I hung up.' Rocking back and forth. 'He called again on Friday. During the funeral. I didn't pick up, but he left a message. Kept going on and on. All the cliché lunatic bad-friend shit. Gonna make it up to me. Gonna make it right. But he sounded so different. Even though his voice didn't change, he sounded like a complete stranger. For the first time I think I really realized that he was gone, and had been gone for a really long time.'

'That's...'

_So much making sense._

'That's why you came to me that night.'

'Yeah.'

Max heats up. 'You felt, what? Guilty?' Hands clench.

'yeah.'

'You fucking kidding me?' Her voice raises but no yelling. Not yet. 'You came by just because you finally got a conscious. You fucking came here just to make yourself feel better?'

'No! I-'

'VICKY!'

'I-' The pixie blonde blushes. 'I just thought- I thought...' She can't make eye contact. 'I did. I came here because I felt guilty about what happened to Chloe. And Kate. And you.'

'God dammit Vicky.'

The taller girl moves to leave. 'I'll ju-'

'Sit down!' Even Max is startled by the authority in her tone. 'I'm mad. Doesn't mean you should leave.'

'Max, I'm so-'

'No.' A had covers Victoria's mouth. 'I don't get to say "but" anymore, you don't get to say "sorry" about this. You apologized. You made it up to me.' Max removes her hand. The anger is still present, but tamed. 'I would have kicked you out if I'd known you were doing that for your own sake. But, damn, we're friends now.' Her eyes soften, though her face remains stern. 'The crap I've put you through since then probably makes us even.'

Finally, the rest of her face relaxes. A smile, small, is seen by the other girl who reciprocates in turn.

'Actually, you owe me a few.'

'Dork.'

'Bitch.'

'Vicky, if I'm a bitch, what does that make you?'

'Queen bitch.'

A silent laugh.

Max sobers. 'I'm not exactly happy here. Then again, I meant what I said. I've more than imposed on you already. I can't, you know, hold this against you.'

'Max, I didn't just come for me. Okay, I'm sorry- shut up- that I had ulterior motives but it wasn't just for me. It was for you. You just lost... I mean, Nathan, the one I knew, died for me that day. It's not the same as, as what happened to you and- I just... The most important person in my life was gone. Here one day and gone the next. I knew... you knew what that was like. I knew we could help each other. I-'

Max finally has enough. Raising one hand, _that_ hand, instantly quells the blonde girl's rambling.

'Vicky, I get it. You don't have to try an explain it to me.'

Finally a head emerges from folded arms and legs. Sore eyes stare at Max. 'You do, don't you? Get it, I mean.' A light embrace captures Victoria. She leans into it, sighing. 'You always get it. You just get people. You understand people so well.'

'Like, really? I'm so confused all the time-'

'Max, you get me. You get Kate. And Court and Tay. And all our classmates and teachers. You just _get_ people.'

'Not everyone.'

A shiver travels from one girl to the other.

'No one will ever really understand _that_ man. But I bet you could understand how he got there. Not his motivations. Maybe none of our motivations. But you understand people like no one I've met.'

 _Where is this coming from?_ 'Vicky, I really don't know what you're getting at.'

A grin shows itself. 'Max, what do you see when you look at Kate?'

 _Huh?_ 'Um, a girl?'

'No, really, tell me who you think Kate really is.'

'Ooookay.' _Who Kate is?_ 'She's love. At her core, everything she does is because she loves people. Not just-' _Come on, what's the word?_ 'Not just specific people. All people. Strangers, friends, family. She treats everyone like... like they matter. Not many people do that.'

'What about Warren?'

_Uh, how about not._

'Come on, nothing leaves this room.'

 _Who is Warren?_ 'Warren is a super typical nerdy teen. Like, totally a ball of hormones and sci-fi. But he sees himself as a knight, in his own mind. He likes to think he really is noble. Which means he is. A bit oblivious. Not because he's conceded. He just has this blind spot when it comes to people, sometimes. Sorta like the best traits of Don Quixote.'

'And me?'

 _No way._ 'Not gonna happen.'

'Max, really. I won't take offence.'

'Fine, but you asked for it.' _Try not to be too mean._ 'People see you as obnoxious and self-absorbed. But they don't realize that you are really just that self-confident. You know who you are. And you are really good at what you do. When you want something, you go and get it. Sometimes you hurt people, not to be malicious but because they are between you and your goal. You're one of the most driven people I've known.'

The smile is still there, contrasting the tears now falling.

 _Shit!_ 'Victoria, I'm sorry.'

A laugh precedes a friendly shove. 'I'm not upset. That's... the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.'

_Didn't I just call self-centered and mean?_

'That's what I mean, Max. You understand people. Sometimes a lot better than they do themselves. And-' A break, as she clears her throat. '-you see the best in them. Even if it may not be there.'

Before she can respond, Max watches her friend quickly make for the door. But, pausing, Victoria turns before leaving. 'Max, I don't want you to come tomorrow for me, or Kate, or anyone else. And I don't want you to come because I think you'll "see the good in Nathan", or forgive him. Kate may want to but fuck that, he doesn't deserve it. I want you to come because I think you'll understand him. If you're not ready, so be it. But if you can understand just the littlest bit of him I think-' A steady breath breaks up her thoughts, reorganizing. 'I think you'll finally see the difference between the two of you. And why you aren't to blame for any of this.'

Victoria steps back to Max, crouching down to meet her at eye level. 'If you can finally see that it's his fault, not yours, maybe you can start healing.'

Max is speechless. Some few tears fall, but she doesn't acknowledge them.

'Just think about it?'

A wordless nod. Then a quiet creak of a hinge.

'Goodnight Max.'


	38. A Mirror

_*** Tuesday Night, Or Maybe Wednesday Morning, After the _ *** _

Only the colors this time. Red and blue. One in each eye. The problem is the two views keep changing which eye they prefered.

_I need those oldschool 3-D glasses._

She focuses directly on the lighthouse itself. The Bay is a pair of superimposed images. A rise and a fall. Every molecule is both being pulled in and pushed outward from the epicenter of the Whirlpool. Focusing on the towering edifice in front of her lets her ignore the duality of what is occuring. The lighthouse is unchanged. Whatever is going on, it remains unaffected so far.

Even looking at the trees is difficult. The same branches, same leaves, but in two different locations. The dirt is even disturbed, arond her legs. Seated cross-legged, able to peer down so close to the soil, Max can see all the minuet changes in dust and rocks. The lighthouse is the only unchanged thing here.

All of it is giving her a headache.

'Are you there?'

No answer.

'FM, can you hear me?'

A siren, so far off in the distance it barely exists.

Max stares at the dirt, keeping her orientation. Refusing to look around. the dirt doesn't change. It was here for so long before she came.

'I can't keep doing this.'

She traces half an oblong oval, lightly, with her finger. A mirroring companion to it, and a line dividing the pair.

'I can't keep trying to keep everything together. I'm doing my best, but...'

She begins pressing more forcefully into her sketch in the dirt, adding definition. A dimple is added to the ovals.

'I can't keep Kate safe. And Victoria is... she is going to stop. She is going to stop supporting me, just as soon as she realizes I have no idea what I'm really doing.'

The line has added definition. A slightly more defined top, a slightly more bulbous bottom. An _i_ whose dot compresses it down slightly.

'And... and how can I keep them safe? With everything I've been through, with what happened to Chlo-'

Her hand comes down, crushing the butterfly.

'I can't go through all this again.'

_But it's the first times._

Eyes tight, a sigh escapes. 'You're here.'

_I/we are always here._

'I was so worried you-'

_You are always here too._

Startled, Max looks up. The kaleidoscope in front of her immediately puts her stomach on edge.

'I'm... here?'

_Yes._

'Which means..?'

_This is where you are._

Old frustrations threaten to bubble up. 'Not really helping.'

_The you that was here is here. The you that will be here is here. You have/will mark here and that mark never fades._

The statement rocks her. 'My power, it... changed this place?'

_Yes._

'Because I used it here?'

_And will again._

A bit of fear creeps up to touch the base of Max's spine. 'What did I do? Is it just the lighthouse or did... did I do something to the Bay too?'

A sound, so ugly and sweet and understanding and terrified answers her.

Laughter.

Not just from one voice, or two. Ten. Or twenty. A nervous laugh. And fearful. And hearty. Sarcastic. Childish. Content. Playful. Alluring.

The fear grabs Max's spine.

_Nothing to the lighthouse or the Bay. Time. Time is marked by you._

'But I didn't mean to... Can I... If I never use my powers, can I fix it?'

_No._

'THEN WHAT SHOULD I DO?'

_Decide._

**_* After the Storm *_ **

Nestled in arms, a young woman sleeps. Tears leak from her closed eyes. Shivering, she moans and pulls a clasped hand inward. The other's arms squeeze briefly, and the young woman settles back to sleep.

**_* After the Funeral *_ **

Alone in bed, a young woman sleeps. Tears leak from her closed eyes. Shivering, she moans and pulls her body inward. Her name is quietly whispered and a knock lightly rapped, but the young woman settles back to sleep.


	39. Scraping By

**_* First Thing Wednesday Morning, After the Funeral *_ **

An alarm starts, a klaxon blaring. Max immediately opens her eyes, and immediately closes them. The sun sharply breaks through the window, full of clarity. She wants that clarity but not this early. An arm strikes out from the covers.

_Ah... Silence._

Nine minutes later, the alarm sounds again, forcing Max to attack again. Knocking it to the floor, it eludes her reach.

_Don't..._

It survives the fall, now echoing from under her bed.

_Noooo..._

Forcing herself upright, she reaches upside down to dig out the offending electronics from it's hiding space.

_Just about there._

She stretches out, just managing to grab the power cord. Quickly pulling, her legs shit on the bed above her.

They slide to the edge.

_Wha-_

The pain in her back from it's trip to the floor finishes waking her up. The knock to her head from her bed is completely unnecessary for this task.

_First fucking thing in the morning._

An appropriate start to the morning.

Rubbing her head, Max looks around for her toiletries. Grabbing clothes and towel, she heads to the shower. As usual, Juliet and Dana stand gossiping in the hall. Alyssa is heading down the stairs, probably Brooke in front of her.

The doors to Kate's and Victoria's rooms are closed.

_Not my problem._

The showers are already going, two of the three at least. Max hopes it isn't...

The water stops on both at nearly the same time. Almost on queue, Courtney and Taylor exit their respective stalls, immediately starting up whatever conversation they had on hold. Max tries to dart past both but, while wrapping her hair, Courtney puts out a hand to stop her.

'Hey Caulfield. Can I-'

'Court, please let me by.'

'Max, I just want to-'

'Come on, just-'

'I'm sorry!'

Max stops her push forward. Stares at the pair of toweled girls. 'What do you mean sorry?'

The pair share a look. Taylor urges Courtney on. 'I'm- I'm sorry for the way I- _we_ treated you.'

Max refuses to give an inch. 'Like what?'

'Like, uh. Like you did-'

'Like I did something wrong? Like I _stole_ Victoria from you?' Max's ire from the night before has her temper on a trigger. 'Like a pariah, right? That's what you called me the other day. Or am I just crazy? You just-' Max grabs onto her frustration, trying to force the words. She turns to Taylor. 'I thought you weren't about tearing down people. I thought _you_ were about more than this petty gossip bullshit.'

A small answer. 'I am.'

Turning back to the Brunette, Max lays into her. 'And maybe you think that too. Maybe you don't see how destructive you actions are towards other people. Maybe you think you're just keeping people in their _spot_.' Her eyes glass, her brow screws up. 'People don't have spots. We are so much more than the "pariah" or "hipster" or "nerd". Kate... she's more than "that religious girl". She's- You- You two hurt her. And me.'

A mumble, incoherent, issues from the blonde.

'What was that?'

'So did Victoria.'

'No shit.' Max takes a step back, shaking her head. 'And Vicky feels terrible. She knows how bad she screwed up. She's asked both of us for forgiveness. And me and Kate- We saw that. We saw how hard it was for her to realize that. However bad she made us feel, she was- no, she _is_ dealing with just as much as we are. After what-'

_I just gotta say this. Do it._

Max's voice, approaching a yell, drops down to almost a whisper. 'After what Nathan did, you two abandoned her. You thought she was a part of it. You're supposed to be best friends and you didn't even see what you did to her. You really, really hurt her. When she needed you the most.'

From the look on the two faces Max finally realizes... they never knew. They never realized that Victory went through something so harsh, so destructive. And instead of helping they did the opposite. The look of concern, with a side of sickness, on Courtney's face. The horror and teary expression on Taylor's.

'I don't want your apologies. I don't need it. I know you were just... trying to be Victoria. Who she _used_ to be, who everyone thought she was.' Max stutters, starting to overwhelm. 'Don't feel sorry for me. At me, whatever. I just want the hostilities gone. I'll take a truce. And Kate will forgive you in an instance, if you really need it. But Vicky...' A pause. 'She deserves your apology. She's the one you two really hurt, and hurt worst. Because me and Kate and the rest of us aren't your friend, but Victoria is.' Max finally pushes past the pair, who by now are growing both cold and dry. She picks the recently unused stall and starts getting herself situated. 'And one last thing. You know Vicky was going to see Nathan later today? Yeah, her and Katie. They're going to cut him out of their lives.' The water is turned on, but Max speaks up over the noise. 'I bet she could use some extra moral support for that too.'

Nothing else is volleyed her way but halfway through lathering her head, Max hears the bathroom door close.

_That was sooooo badass!_

Through sputtering water Max answers. 'Please don't.'

_You smacked them down hard!_

Max feels a headache coming on. 'I feel like I'm reliving the same moment again but, please, leave me alone.'

_Come on. You know I/we know how you feel right now. We/I just want to let you know... very good. None of us/me were able to do that, before, without rewinding._

'Thank, but I still feel so... hyped up. I'm just...' Max stares at her hands.

_Shaking. Don't worry, the adrenaline will fade soon enough._

'It's just I hate confrontation. I don't-'

_-like rocking the boat._

'Stop it. Stop finishing my sentences.'

_Of course._

Max finishes her head, wiping the sting of shampoo from her eyes. She applies conditioner and starts scrubbing the rest of herself.

'You know what I want to ask.'

_You know you will get no answer._

'Can I... ask why?'

_Hmm?_

'Why so cryptic? Why do I never get any explanation?'

The silence stretches. She finishes, toweling and dressing. Brushing her teeth, rinsing, another thought pops into her head.

_I/we can't tell you anymore than we/I do._

Frustrated, halfway through capping her toothpaste, Max gives it a squeeze. Minty fresh breath ends up all over the sink. 'I know! I get that! Why?'

_Those times we/I help more, those voices go silent._

'Silent? Wha-'

A thunderbolt strikes her eyes.

The pain is overwhelming. On par, even worse, than the times Max truly pushed herself too far. Holding that moment too long in Kate's room. Fighting through the drug in the Dark Room. Saving Kate. Traveling to the double moon to warn Chloe. All those times were easier to take than this. She cannot think.

But if she could, Max would realize she normally passes out before now.

An indeterminate time later she finally opens her eyes. Her headache far from gone. Her fingers hurting from curling around the sink enamel. She has lockjaw from grinding her teeth.

Dripping from her chin, a small shower of red.

'what' A breath. 'what was that'

A click as the door latch releases.

Max tries to turn from the door, to hide the state of her face. _There's blood all over the sink._ She can't hide it. A gasp from the door, in stereo.

'Max! What-?'

It seems nothing else needs to be said. Juliet rushes to her side, gingerly but persistently trying to turn Max's face to her. Dana's head bobbles back and forth from Max to the sink, a pallor coloring her already fair skin.

'Are you hurt? Did someone- did someone hurt you?'

Max tries her best to stammer out a response but her jaw still hurts too much. Instead she shakes a negative, spots dancing and a ghost of pain flashing from the movement.

_i better. just. sit._

She leans back next to the sinks, sliding down the tiles. Juliet follows her, the concern no less in her eyes. Dana, now decisively a little sickly looking, grabs Max's damp towel and tries to start wiping off the brunette's face.

_just a minute. to rest._

Juliet continues to talk to her but only about one word in three makes any sense. At least until she mentions an ambulance to Dana.

'no'

Halting mid sentence. 'What, Max?'

'no ambulance. jules. just give me...'

'Max, really, you need... I don't know what you need. A doctor at least.'

'no'

A small whine issues from Dana from where she goes through Max's, Juliet's, and her own toiletries, trying to find anything to help. 'Max, you look like you just vamped out on someone.'

'no. i'm fine.' A steady hand, with minimal force, holds Max in place as she tries to stand. _weak as a puppy._ 'okay. not fine. but i will be.'

A pleading look crosses both girls' faces.

'just help me. clean up. and i'll be find.'

Traded looks between the best friends. _they don't believe me. obviously._ But they seem to accept it.

'Under one condition.'

'i tell you what happened.'

'Uh, yeah.'

The pair proceed to help Max into a more comfortable position. Neither let her stand. _i don't think i can, yet._ Juliet begins to wipe away the blood, gingerly at first. When Max doesn't flinch or shy away, she sets to it more methodically.

'so, uh. i had a nosebleed.'

A short bark of laughter escapes Dana, causing all three of them to jump just a bit. 'Figured out that much. But it looks so... bad.'

 _you have no idea._ 'yeah. it doesn't happen a lot. this time was bad. really bad headache too.'

Juliet stands up to soak the towel, trying to wash out some of the blood. A lost battle. Coming back with the damp cloth, she sets task to Max's chin. 'You probably got a little lightheaded too, I bet.'

'yeah.'

Leaning back on her heals, the novice reporter surveys her handiwork with a frown. 'That's the best I'm going to get. You're going to want to brush your teeth. And really scrub hard. It's still... everywhere, really. At least you don't look like you tore out someone's throat anymore.' She goes to one of the sinks not splattered, looking at the towel. Turning to Max and giving a pained expression. 'You might want to just throw this away.'

'yeah, sure.'

'So.' Juliet starts deeply scrubbing her hand. 'How did it happen? Why?'

Max pauses for a moment. Already much of the pain is gone, though the dizziness remains. _what can i really say?_ 'it's just something i have to live with.'

'But, like, have you seen a doctor or anything?'

 _pretty sure this one is going to be misdiagnosed._ 'yeah. it's a nose problem. damage to my septum.'

Dana eyes her with a dark look. _she's totally not buying this._ Max raises her hand, to go back and try a better excuse.

'You ready to get up? You sure?'

_what?_

Warm, wet fingers grab Max's outstretched hand.

'Dana, get her other arm.'

_why isn't it working?_

As she stands, Max pours more of her will into her power. The wince it elects causes the other girls a moment of panic. 'Max! Are you-'

'fine. just fine.' A fake smile drops down. 'just some left over headache.'

Inside she panics.

_nonononono. it's gone. just like with kate. too much. too hard._

A couple of short answers, just to make sure she won't fall, and the two girls take up position at the sinks on either side of Max. They start their own morning rituals, keeping watch on their charge.

Max barely notices as she finishes cleaning up.

_too far. i asked fm too much and it came back at me. she shared too much?_

Finishing with her face, she starts rinsing her mouth out. Anything to get the coppery taste out.

_voices go silent? does that mean... what?_

More mint in her nose. Max wants to gag.

_if the future me tells me too much_

Past the baggy eyes, Max inspects herself in the mirror

_can i die?_

Taking her ruined towel, she finishes cleaning the sink. Immediately trashing the towel, Max gives the two girls a weak smile as she heads to the door.

'Max?'

'yeah jules?'

'Call me. Later.' The blonde girl puts on a serious expression. 'I mean it. I want to know that you're okay.'

'sure. and thanks. a lot.' Max smiles again, much more earnest. 'i really owe you both big time.'

In the hallway she takes a moment to collect herself. _That was so... fucked up._ Turning the corner to head to her room Max immediately sees one of the two people she most certainly didn't want to see her this way.

_Didn't even get to change my shirt._

Kate waits patiently just outside her own door, expectantly smiling towards the end of the hall. Hearing noise behind, she turns and beams that smile towards Max. Then the brunette's appearance registers, and a look of horror replaces it.

'Max!'

Two heartbeats and an arm encircles Max's waist. Saying nothing after making sure no obvious injuries appeared, Kate helps Max to the end of the hall, taking it upon herself to find the photographer's keys to open the door.

_why the react- oh yeah. blood all over my shirt._

Leading her to the bed, the blonde girl searches Max's face and neck for anything she may have missed. Satisfied there is nothing she missed, Kate heads to the closet, pulling out a change of clothes. Max's favorite _Jane Doe_ shirt lands beside her.

'What happened Max?'

Pulling off one shirt, Max forget's her modesty. Kate turns a beet red but refuses to look away. Concern wins out.

'i, uh. i'm not sure yet.'

The fear is thick. 'You d-don't know what happened?'

'no. i know... just let me figure out. how to explain.'

Max takes a breath. She unpacks what happened a bit more clearly in her mind.

'i was talking to future me. i kept asking her why she couldn't... couldn't tell me more. she said...' _the fucking scary part._ '...that when she says too much. a voice goes silent.'

Moving to sit next to Max, Kate shakes a bit. 'You can't talk to her anymore.'

'i don't think-'

'Max, just don't. Not this time.' A firmness enters Kate's words. 'Don't fight me one this, just trust me. Right now it's pretty obvious you're basically numb.'

'what do you...'

'Max, you haven't focused on me once yet. You still haven't put your shirt on. I've already seen you turn off like this a few times. It's... the PTSD we were talking about.'

 _yeah. she's right._ 'you're right. but-'

'No buts.'

A small giggle. The first emotion Kate has seen on her friend's face.

'learn that one from vicky?'

A small giggle in response. Mostly from relief. 'Yeah. She told me you like that word.'

'figures.' Max meets big blue eyes. 'i'm getting better. thanks.'

'Cool.' Finally, the setting catches up with Kate. 'Do you think you should, um, put your shirt on?'

Another laugh, much more honest. 'sure thing katie.'

'Okay.' The worried friend reappears, toned down but persistent. 'Can you talk about it?'

'not yet.' A fear strikes Max. 'don't tell victoria yet. let me get my head on straight first. we have-' A glance at her clock '-over an hour before class. gimme a few minutes and i'll give you both the rundown. warren too.'

'Oh, okay Max. I'll just, uh, let you get ready.' Standing and smoothing her skirt, Kate grabs her bag and moves to leave. At the door she asks one last time. 'Sure you're okay?'

 _not really._ 'not yet. i will be.'

The click is a finality Max does not need right now.

_how the FUCK do i explain this?_


	40. Sweating the Small Stuff

**_Trigger warning - themes of assault._ **

**_* First Thing Wednesday Morning, After the Storm *_ **

An alarm starts, a klaxon blaring. Max immediately opens her eyes, and immediately closes them. The sun sharply breaks through the window, full of clarity. She wants that clarity but not this early. An arm strikes out from the covers.

And promptly crushes her face as it reaches for the clock. And fails to shut the alarm off. And knocks it off the pocket-marked end table.

_Fuck!_

Untangling herself from wayward limbs, Max scrambles to silence the morning. Ending up lying on the floor, finally the noise stops. Twelve oh two flashes persistently before her eyes.

_Chlo!_

The back of a blue blob is all she can make out peeking from the covers. A limb starts moving, an upright finger revealed as the blankets fall back, waving in the general direction of the sun.

_Could you maybe not assault me first thing in the morning._

An appropriate start to the morning.

Rubbing her back, Max looks around, taking her time and waking up fully. The alarm in her hand switches to twelve oh seven before she finishes doing some mental arithmetic.

_Power!_

'Chlo!' Climbing back into bed, she tries to wake it's occupant. 'Chloe! The power's back on.'

'gruh fruh erh.'

'Chlo, get up. Too much to do.'

'ker ner ger berker?'

'What are you saying?' Done trying to interpret, she pulls the blanket from Chloe's face. Half-lidded eyes scowl back at her.

'can i get bacon?'

Max pokes the offending brow, then plants a peck on her temple. 'Sorry, no bacon. It does mean we get to shower with the lights on today.'

The brow waggles.

 _Sigh._ 'Separately.' Max stands, stretching out her back. 'Dork.'

'tease.'

'Nuh-huh.'

'yah-huh.'

'Stop being difficult. I haven't caffeinated yet.' She picks up the alarm again. 'What time is it anyway?'

'Probably not just after midnight.' Chloe finally starts moving, reaching over to turn her cell on. 'It's, uh... quarter after eight.' An exaggerated sigh escapes. 'Maxi-pad, I was kinda hoping you'd learn how to sleep in some day.'

'Hey, you were beating me up before I even got out of bed.'

A guilty look crosses the bluenette's complexion. 'Sorry. I just hate alarms.'

'Next time I'll duck. I'm going to shower. Go see if anyone else is up.'

'Yes boss.' A dramatic salute turns into an excuse to fall back into bed. Chloe quickly snuggles back into her previous position.

'Chlo.'

'Hmm?'

'That's not getting up.'

'Sure it is. Just backwards.' The blanket is pulled back over blue. 'Just rewind, you'll see.'

Giggling and shaking her head, Max leaves her girlfriend alone. _For now. She doesn't need to get up quite yet._

Entering the bathroom Max blinks spots from her eyes as the harsh lights momentary blind her. Standing in front of the mirror, she surveys herself.

_I've looked better. The bags are new. I guess... a lot has happened in the last ten days._

She stares an extra moment, really looking at herself. For that moment, half-convinced, Max swears a stranger stares back.

_So much has happened._

Turning, she quickly prepares the shower. Final adjustments to the temperature, she steps in and feels the bulk of her tension start to melt off.

_Didn't even notices how stiff my neck is._

_Why would you? It creeps up, doesn't it?_

A bit of that tension settles back on her shoulders.

'Really? Couldn't wait for coffee?'

_That's not how this works._

Looking for her shampoo, can't find it. Max pops open the coconut concoction Chloe seems to favor.

'How does this work, then? I still don't get the rules.'

_Knowing will hurt._

A pause of her fingers on her scalp. 'Hurt? It can hurt?'

 _It_ does _hurt._

'Wait, you get hurt when you talk?'

Nothing.

Max proceeds with her shower. _Of course it hurts. If it is me, if that is what FM_ really _is, then... my power obviously cause me pain._ Puzzle pieces start assembling themselves. _That means... I'm going to be doing this to myself. I'll be putting myself through... what, exactly? If I get nosebleeds now, what would happen if I send these thoughts back?_ On autopilot, she starts scrubbing yesterday's sweat. _How do I even do it? Just think backwards really hard?_ She knows there are still pieces missing, but a picture starts coming together. _Maybe... it's like my photo power. If I just picture the memory..._

She tries. Imagining herself just minutes ago, about to step into the shower. Trying her best to see it with the same clarity as her first experience. Her photography instincts take over, creating this faux reality, an even better version. Trying to imagine the whole bathroom at once, where every little item is, the sound of the water out of the shower head and the gurgle as more water flows through the pipes.

A pain starts to build, between her temples. The smells of the humidity from the shower, the disinfectants, the soaps. The cold of the tiles, the warmth of the steam. Her body's position, as she slightly leans forward.

And with a click, the rest of her memory sharpens. All the little details that the mind edits out become readily available. The very faint whine of the lights overhead. Her nose in the corner of each eye, left for right and right for left. _Who even realizes they don't ever really notice their nose?_ Hair whispering along the back of her neck. Morning breath and a taint of copper.

It is so beautiful.

Not just a chance to relive the past. She sees everything. One second of memory, but it all at once. She is both about to take a step and taking it. She sees her destination straight ahead and the glance downward and even that blink your mind filters out of your vision. The pressure on both feet, on one, her equilibrium as her body changes position. Every tiny sound of movement, how each little noise changes, flowing and interacting with one another.

She knows all of this time, these scant few seconds, all at once. Not a frozen moment. All of it, front to back and all together. The taste of pennies in-

_Wait, copper, that's-_

Thunder rolls through, from forehead to spine and back again.

Spinning around the pain in her head, Max tries to focus. On anything. She keeps clawing herself away from that moment a few minutes ago and keeps snapping back to it. Every time she steps towards the present that slice of past wraps around it. So she just lets go.

Knees painfully throbbing, the water cold hitting her back. Pinkish water pooling between her splayed hands on the shower floor.

Sweet and salty copper.

Max shuts the water. Gingerly stands, grabs her towel. Slowly dries. She still shivers. It isn't from the cold.

Staring at her reflection in the mirror. Eyes even more sunken. Red-rimmed nostrils. Staining along her lips, chin. She looks pale. She _feels_ pale. The afterimage of pain still has her wincing. She stands staring, in her stained towel, and watches little red drops still fall every few minutes.

_What did I do to myself?_

A banging breaks the anti-revelry.

'Max, you alright in there?'

_Victoria._

'Max, what's the hold up?'

_I need them. Tell her-_

'get chlo'

Clearing her throat.

'Get Chloe. Get her here Vicky.'

Maybe her tone, maybe her statement. Either way, Max here's quick steps downstairs, followed by quicker ones back up. 'I'm coming in.' Victoria's perplexed and mildly annoyed expression immediately transforms to one of fear. 'What did you do?'

Heavier steps, two at a time, take the stairs. A blue-topped body almost slides right by the bathroom door. 'Max, are you- Shit! What's wrong?'

Max smiles weakly, still using the sink to help her stand. 'I fucked up.'

Hands trace themselves around her head. A wince from the brunette and they pull back. 'Careful.'

Chloe tries to take it all in. 'What happened? Did you see something?'

'No, Che.'

'Then, what? Did you-' A dark expression. '-push too hard? Why?'

'I found out how she does it.' The confusion on the two faces makes her want to laugh. _Or scream. Neither would be good._ 'I know how FM talks to me.' She tries to grab one of the hands gracing her face, but comes unbalanced. _Still a little... woozy._ An arm takes up one of her sides, steadying her. An immediate second balances her out, and the pair lead her back to bed. 'It's like my photo power. But in my head.'

Sitting, she curls up, wrapping the blanket around herself for warmth.

'I just have to picture everything. Not too hard. Maybe... maybe it's because I know photography so well. Or maybe I know that because I have these powers. I'm not sure. I think it might be both. I just envisioned a room, a memory as perfectly as possible. I kept pushing and pushing and then _snap_ , it's like I was there. I could see it, smell it, taste it. But better than before.'

She's rambling. She know's she's rambling.

'All these little details I didn't notice before, couldn't even imagine I missed before. I went back for an instance and... and no photo. I just went back. Not me reliving it. Just a crystal moment of time. A picture from my memory.'

A reverent look settles on her features.

'It was beautiful.'

'It was stupid.'

Chloe is not happy.

'You could of... I don't know. Given yourself an aneurism or something.'

'Chlo, I'm fine.'

'What about when you're not? For fuck's sake, you get nosebleeds just from going back a few minutes. You passed out Friday bouncing around pictures. What about one day when you're prancing through time and, and you push too hard and something in your head just... snaps?'

Max looks for allies against this fury. 'Vicky, you know I need to push this. FM proves that-'

'Future you proves nothing.' Victoria double downs on Chloe's tirade. 'Max, you can change the past, change the present. There's no reason to think the future can't be changed. Just because future you is here one minute doesn't mean you're there the next.'

Grasping at straws. 'But a paradox...'

'Only happens if you go back in time and kill your parents before your born. Something impossible. But talking to yourself... If FM stops talking to you...' A deep breath. 'One, you have nothing to say. Two, you pushed too hard and lost your power. Three.. '

Max finishes. '...I'm dead.'

Chloe turns to the blonde girl. 'Give us the room.' A nod acquiescing. The door clicks shut. 'I thought you got it yesterday.'

'I'm so-'

'No. No sorry. I just need you to see how dangerous all this is.' A, sadly, familiar look of fear stares back at Max. 'You're not immortal.'

 _She wasn't afraid of me. She's afraid **for** me._ The brunette can't maintain eye contact but she finds a voice. 'I didn't listen.'

'You listened but you didn't _hear_ me.'

'I know.'

Curling into arms, leaning towards that heartbeat. 'Love you, Che.'

'Then stop this. Stop sneaking off and pulling these stunts.'

'I promise.'

Leaning back, the bluenette gives her a curious look.

 _I swear..._ 'On my pirate honor.'

The tall girl's face remains placid but a smile leaks from her eyes. 'I'm holding you to that.'

A noise of frustration sounds from the door. 'Can I come back in yet?'

 _Dog dammit Vicky._ 'Sure.'

A pair of blonde's, one irate, the other confused, stand outside. 'So?'

'So.. what?'

'So, are you done being stupid?' Victoria looks back as Kate pokes a finger into her side. 'What? It's a fair question.' A pained look from the smaller girl is the rebuttal.

 _Right to the core._ 'Yeah, I'm done for now. I think...' A furtive look to her girlfriend for confirmation. 'I think I get it now.'

'Okay then.' And Victoria relaxes. _Finally_. 'So, Price, you want to finally make those phone calls.'

'Sure, Chase. Grab a pen and paper. We'll set up shop in the kitchen. I need to pull out David's contact book for a few of the cops I know.'

Receding from the room, Max can't help but overhear. 'Like, numbers on paper?'

_David's old-school, Vicky. Real old-school._

'You alright Max?'

'Yeah Kate.' Taking stock of herself Max realizes that she is in fact fine. Good, even. 'My headache's gone. No dizzy or queasy spells.'

Happiness replaces the look of trepidation. 'That's great! So... what next?'

 _We need to set up._ 'Next, my dear Watson, we sleuth.'

'Cool. Um. How?'

'How you ask? Scoff, my Watson, double scoff. We, uh.' _What do we do?_ 'Well, Chlo is going to track down our wayward licence plate and locate it's owner. And we get to...' _Shit, how can I help?_ 'We get to, uh...'

Max notices an edge of cork poking out of the closet.

'We get to play with push-pins.'

The pair drag the cork board out and begin to clean off the accrued evidence still clinging to it. _I thought we cleaned this off last week._ With stoic grace Kate begins to pile the various documents to one side, pins to another. _Oh, shit!_

'I forgot Kate. All this, you don't have to help me-.'

An unusually cool voice interrupts. 'It's fine.'

'Really, I got this. I know this must remind you-'

'I'm fine Max!'

A page tears between hands.

'I just- I just need to deal with this, Max.' She looks up meekly from the crumpled halves in her hands. 'Sorry for yelling.'

Max drops a pile of dog names and numbers, working her hands around Kate's clutch and tossing the detritus to the side. 'It's okay to yell. Sometimes you need to. Heck, sometimes I really need to.'

_Please just give me a smile._

'Thanks Max.' Kate gathers word. 'I never tried to deal with, with it. Not in a healthy way, at least.'

'Well, your not alone. None of us are really in a healthy way right now.'

Frustration. 'I just don't know how. How do I get back?'

'By proving to them that you are still who you are.' _That's... not right._ 'Actually, forget that. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. You are you. No one can take that. They- they tried to take. From you.'

_I'm going to cry. Kate already is._

And tears do fall. But the young woman isn't sobbing. She's resolute. 'I know who I am.' Hesitation. 'But...'

 _The sweetest soul I've met._ 'That means everything.' _I will not let this bring you down._ 'You are a strong person. Your faith, your hope... There's nothing you cannot overcome.'

'But they took... They took from me, Max. How can I ever get back?'

'Kate, I don't know.'

'Why?' And now a sob travels down her spine. 'Why don't you know? You got better.'

 _Not really._ 'I'm a hot mess right now.'

'No you're not. You're pushing yourself. You're still fighting. How?'

 _How?_ 'I'm ignoring it.' _Ignoring the pain I caused. What that scumbag did to me._

A bit more bewildered. 'That's it! Just forget about it?'

 _No!_ 'I didn't mean-'

The sarcasm is thick. 'Yeah, good advice.'

 _Not what I meant!_ 'Kate, I just...'

_Just go back._

_Don't interrupt me!_

_You know the words. Go back. Be honest._

So Max focuses. Without her hand as a physical anchor she performs a bit of mental gymnastics. _A little-_ gasp _-effort never did any harm._

'But they took... They took from me, Max. How can I ever get back?'

An extra moment to keep the flush from her cheeks. 'Kate, they didn't take from you anything.'

'Max, you don't-'

'You haven't lost anything. You are still one hundred percent you.' _We are always who we are._ 'All those bastards did was make you forget a bit about yourself. You forgot about your family and friends who love you. You forgot about the good you do in the world. Your sisters, volunteer work, your art and music. You still have all this.' _Deep feelings now._ 'What do you think they stole?'

The question throws the blonde girl out of herself. 'I- I don't know. M-my innocence. My body. My faith.'

Max's heart breaks a bit.

'Th-there's this part of me missing. I don't know how to fill it. A part of me is gone.'

'I, uh... Wow. I just didn't... think in those terms. But. But Jefferson-' A flinch from Kate. '-did the same thing to me. Took my art. My... my will, when he took those photos.'

Through tears Kate nods. The hardness around her eyes, something Max didn't notice, retreats.

'B-but... But that's all he got. Pictures. Just pictures of who I was. Not me. Fake little moments.' Max rummages in her bag, pulling William's old camera out. She shakes it between them. 'He tried to steal this away from me. I'm an artist and get tried to poison that art. But I got it back. You know how?'

A shake of a head.

_Click_

'I take photos of beautiful things.' Shaking the Polaroid. 'People and places that make me feel. Happy or sad, doesn't matter, I _take_ pictures of what moves me.' Max appraises her work and hands it over. 'But it isn't _mine_.'

A dark face, no flash being used, dominates the left side. Tears, blotches on high cheeks, bags under the eyes. On the right, a door graffitied with anarchy and motion, not quite latched enough. Light from off camera glints off the handle.

'This is a woman who has seen darkness. She saw truly cruel things and she's still here. She has been through more than her fair share. _And she's still here._ '

'Max...'

'I took her picture but she isn't mine. She is her own woman fighting her own battles. Kate.' Hands grip, careful to connect without crushing the photo. 'Chloe finally got something through my head. I'm not alone. I don't have to shoulder the world alone.'

A wracking moment.

'I see you hurting. I can't take that pain from you. But you can give me some of it. That's all you can do. People can't take your faith or your innocence. They can't take my art. You can only give it to them, just like you can give me some of your pain.'

A breakdown.

'I c-can share it with you.' _I'm falling apart now._ 'Just like I share my art, and you share your f-faith.' _Gotta hold on._ 'It doesn't lessen the pain, just like it doesn't lessen when you share your love. B-but if you give me some, I can make it easier.'

For a brief moment hands almost rip the photo between them apart. A high but quiet moan escapes from Kate. But instead of destruction a moment of calm appears. Smoothing the little wrinkles, the hands place it to the side and pull Max forward. Great shakes on the small frame move them both, and the pent up emotions, both from what they individually experienced and what the other has shared, pour.

Kate hasn't really stopped shedding these tears since the roof a week ago.

Max finally, really, truly, lets these tears flow.

For the first time, Max stops pushing. Stops pushing down everything that happened in that Dark Room. Someone else, who wasn't an investigator, a cop. Someone who was a victim.

_No._

Through broken intakes. 'W-we weren't victims. We _aren't_ his victims. He tried to take something from us but we won't let that happen. R-right?'

Silence.

Max learned back. Looks Kate in the eye. 'Right?'

A bit of someone looks back through the pain. A bit of the old, hopeful, happy Kate.

'right'

A long minute of sharing, both troubles and strength. Max breaks it, turning back to the cork board. Back to distancing herself from the past. Petite hands help her unpin the papers. Still, they carefully lay out week to make room for a new one.

'thanks max'

Taking her eyes from the empty classes in front of her. No tears left for either of them, for now. _I was so angry then. I'm still so angry. But with the adrenaline gone, I noticed it up. The fear, the pain. She helped me uncork it. It wasn't safely away. It was poisoning in me._

'Love you Katie.'

'Love you Max.'

A smile shared. Sad, but a smile none the less.

_I can get through this as long as I can share it._

A quiet knock precedes a bobbling blue head. 'Hey kids. Got news. Seems that David's connection ma it come through in a-' Chloe takes in the organized chaos. 'I see you got a jump on my next idea.' Carefully stepping around thumbtacks, she sits at her desk. 'As I was saying, we should be able to head down to the precinct in a few hours. Dale finally got the computers kinda working and will look up the plate number for us.'

'Just like that?'

'Well... I may have insinuated that he was doing a favor for step-douche.'

 _Dammit Chlo._ 'You shouldn't have done that.'

Hands up in defense. 'David knows I made the call.'

 _Really?_ 'Does he know why?'

'Just that it's connected to last week. I kinda had to point out we did all the heavy thinking last week. And that we did solve the case. And we _did_ go to him instead of running off ourselves.'

_The second time._

'Which means, my droogs, that we have some time to waste. So, post-breakfast, let's watch a movie.' The bluenette reaches down to Max's pile and pulls out- 'Got anything good to watch?'

 _No_ 'no...'

'No? Damn. A terabyte of pictures and homework? I though you were all analog.'

'no...'

Confusion across two faces. 'Then what-'

'That's not my hard-drive, Chloe. That's Warren's.'


	41. Pulling the Band Aid

**_* Wednesday, 9:45 a.m., After the Funeral *_ **

'So, that's it.'

'That's it?'

_Echo much?_

Warren's expression floats between excitement and mania. 'Max, this is huge! This confirms the multiverse theory I have!' Tearing out pages from a spiral notebook. A complicated diagram. 'Look. FM isn't just you from this timeline at the end. She isn't just... all of the yous that will be. It's all the yous that you have ever been.'

Max and Kate answer with confusion.

'Okay, step-by-step. The whole I-we thing you described, that-' He gestures to the drawing. '-leads to this.' He sketches out the explanation. 'We assumed your FM voice was just the, the possible yous at when you hear her. Them... whatever. But it's got to be all of you. All the possible yous at one point. So not just the ones you're making in this timeline but also ones from the alternate timelines that exist now.'

Kate butts in with the question on the tip on Max's tongue. 'Why? Why does this prove it?'

A prideful smile crosses his face. 'Because if voices go silent and we're still here, that means FM has been talking to other Max's. _That's_ why. We're here, FM is talking to you, and it happened before. Ipso facto, other Max worlds are the ones to go silent.' If anything, his smile grows wider.

'Warren...'

'Yeah Max?'

'If... if a voice goes silent...' Her breath quickens. _Don't freak don't freak don't freak-_ '...that means... I fail. I die. Or lose my powers. I'm not there to talk to. If Future Max can't talk to me I can't hear which means-' Max cuts herself off before she rambles too far.

_I can die._

'I need to...' Catching the stutter before it appears. 'I need to figure this out. And Warren. I need you to figure it out too. Lunch.'

A bit deflated. 'Sure, Max. I'll, uh. I'll hit up the library. I have second period empty, I'll see what I can... I'll dig something up.' A hand provides comfort, squeezing Max's shoulder. 'Max, we got this. My brains, Kate's optimism. Heck, we could get Victoria some full plate and have her tank for us.'

In spite, a smile makes it's appearance across Max's lips. 'Yeah? What does that make me?'

'The scout. With your eye for detail, makes perfect sense.'

A full laugh. Even Kate supplies a quiet titter. 'You're such a dork.'

'You love it.'

 _I do._ 'Yeah, I do.' Pulling an arm, Max gives him a quick embrace. 'I don't say this enough. To- to either of you. But thanks. I don't know what I'd be doing without you.'

Bashful, and inheriting Max's stammer, Warren retreats slightly. 'Yeah, o-of course. What are friends for? I gotta get to- to class.' It isn't exactly that Warren flees from the pair, but it isn't too far off.

A poke on her shoulder stops the giggles threatening. 'What Kate?'

'Don't play with him. That's not very kind.'

'But I mean it. The three of you are all that's keeping me together.' Starting their own walk to class. 'I keep apologizing 'cause I keep messing up. I figure it'd be nice, you know, to say thank you. You know, because...' A small swallow. '...I'm grateful. Not just because I feel guilty.'

An arm entwines her own. 'Well. In that case, you're welcome.'

The halls not overly crowded, but too much for any more quiet conversation. The usual cliques are in attendance. The same noise, same faces, same laughter and side glances. For the first time, though, a thought strikes Max.

_There's something off about the school._

She notices Dana turn from Trevor to give her a warm smile. So too does Justin, standing next to his best friend. A determined Juliet passes quickly by Logan, who gives Max one of those bro-nods she was becoming so familiar with. The intrepid reporter herself stops in front of the increasingly confused brunette- _Something's off_ -and examines her with a critical eye. 'Max, you okay?' Gaze darts just below eye contact, searching for red.

 _What's going on?_ 'Uh, yeah Jules. I'm all good.' Max waves her bandaged palm. 'Nothing to report.'

'Kay. But I'm serious. Call me later.' A quick exchange of pleasantries with Kate and gone.

The blonde girl trades her eyes back and forth from the receding reporter and the perplexed person next to her. 'What was that?'

'Juliet made me promise to call her later. About the whole, uh, event this morning.'

'Oh, that.' Kate focuses down the hall. 'She's a good friend to have.'

_Yeah. Just can't let her pry too much._

'Come on, we're gonna be late.'

A path opens as they travel to world history. The classroom quiet and nearly empty. Max and Kate take side-by-side seats. Slowly filling, Max still can't shake that feeling.

Whispers. 'Kate, you notice something weird?'

Confused. 'No? What do you mean weird?'

'I can't put my finger on it...'

A cleared throat calls attention. 'Okay kids, let's get back into it. Romes fall wan't a single event or date. Many scholars will point you to the end of the Fourth Century but even that time can be considered later than it's actual beginning...'

Two hours later and an exhausted Max drags herself into the cafeteria. _Two classes. How am I going to make it through the day if two classes kicked my ass?_ No coffee available, she grabs a soda. _Maybe I'll try one of those energy drinks. If they ever start selling them on campus._ Spying Kate and Victoria sitting, and Warren bringing Brooke over to the table. Max makes her way, grabbing a slice of pizza. She nearly trips when she sees the rest of the table.

_Courtney and Taylor. Okay, not too unusual. But... Logan? And Daniel on the opposite side?_

It's very clear the table is centered around Victoria. Courtney on her left, Kate on her right. The 'nerds' to one side, the ex-Vortex club on the other. Yet it looks like the old social barriers may be coming down. Victoria finds herself literally in the middle of a three-way conversation. Warren and Logan are laughing in unison at whatever joke one of them told. Even Brooke isn't giving anyone sidelong sharp glances.

_That's not a nice thought, you know._

Shaking her head, Max dispels the intrusion without answering. Sitting down (the only spot left across from Victoria), the conversation only momentarily pauses before picking back up. Talking about everything and nothing around her, Max retreats, her head down and small bites making quick work of her slice.

'So Max, are you going with Tori and Kate?'

 _Huh?_ 'W-what do you mean?'

Brooke straighten's her glasses, a nervous motion. 'After class. They're going clothes shopping. Not my thing.'

 _They said they were..._ 'Uh, no. Not my thing either.' _Guess that's the cover lie._

After a bit more chitchat, Max thankfully mostly excluded, lunch closes out with the table dispersing. Cleaning her mess and dumping the garbage, Max almost runs through Logan waiting behind her.

 _Uh..._ 'Hi.'

'Hi, um, Max.' Intense focus on the ground between them, Logan's mumbles are almost lost in the din of the emptying cafeteria. 'I just, uh, wanted to say thanks.'

'Th-thanks?'

'Yeah. You know.' A halfhearted gesture at the bandage on her hand. 'You saved me from some bad shit yesterday. I fucked up.'

 _Oh, yeah. He's..._ 'Don't worry about it.'

'Does it still hurt?'

 _It does._ 'Not really. As long as I don't make a fist it's fine.'

A smile appears, and most of Logan's self confidence is back. 'Good. That's good.' A fist comes up. 'I owe you one, Max.'

A bump. 'Don't worry about it.' _Damn. I'm repeating myself._

'No, really. I got you, let me know.'

Max enters the hallway in a fugue. A hand guides her, and it's four steps later she realizes who the manicured nails belong to. 'Victoria, I am having a very weird day.'

Green eyes barely contain the laughter. 'Max.' Another breath, keeping in the mirth. 'Max, the sky was literally falling yesterday.'

A snap back. 'Crap, yeah.' A mental shake, cleaning the cobwebs. 'I mean, like, normal-weird.'

Weaving through a few loitering students, the pair arrives at the end of the hall to their photography lab. 'You have no idea how nice normal-weird is right now. So, what's up?'

'It's just... Something's going on. It's like, uh, like everyone... I don't know. People have been...' _Rawr! How the hell do I explain this._

A pensive look, mostly the scrunching between the brows. 'What are people doing? Someone messing with you?'

'No. It's just... Okay, lunch. Logan? And Daniel? I mean, I know you're friends with Logan. But he was joking with Warren, and I don't think those two have ever said anything to each other on purpose. And Daniel has never eaten with anyone. He usually takes lunch where he can draw. And then Logan came up to me after. Told me thanks and that "he owed me one". What does that even mean?'

'So? You upset he's grateful you saved his ass yesterday?'

'No, of course not. It was actually a little sweet. But this morning, and in class. I mean, Juliet will usually say hello if she notices me. But today she stopped to chat. Dana and Justin waved me hello. Trevor made a joke to me in class. It's like everyone is staring at me.' The worry in her is spilling out now. 'I don't know. It's just so weird that...'

'People are noticing you?'

_Is that it? Is it that people see me?_

'That's not it.'

'Yeah, Max. It is.'

_Am I such a wallflower that-_

'Am I really that- that invisible?'

Stopping outside their class, already full with the rest of their class. Victoria turns. 'Max, you're not invisible. People noticed you. _I_ did, when you kept kicking my ass in photography. Just before, I think, you were the hipster artist in the hipster art school. But yesterday you stopped someone from getting really hurt and got a scar for it. You're in my clique, or maybe I'm in yours. And I know you said something to Court and Tay. They were all apologetic and crap. _And_ you have one of the skater boys chasing you. Max, I hate to break it to you.'

_Don't say it._

'You're becoming popular.'

_She said it._

'Crap.' Staring into the bright room as the bell rings. 'Crap.'

'Yeah, sucks. Now you just have to be perfect all the time.' The laughter starts as Victoria pushes the door open. 'Luckily, I am the perfect teacher.'

A playful shove as she closes the door behind. 'You wish. I'll just retreat into Arte Povera of indie rock vinyls and hoodies.'

Victoria pauses half-way to her seat. 'You have to be shitting me. What am I saying, of course you know Arte Povera.' Unpacking her supplies, she slips a folded page onto Max's table. 'Warren gave me this. Said it should help you. Made me promise not to read it.'

Max quickly glances at it, not to read but to see it's length. _A couple of paragraphs. He must have found something._ Eyeballing the front of class, Max whispers across the aisle. 'So, you read it?'

'Nope. All I know is that Warren said it's heavy stuff.' Victoria starts organizing her lab assignment, working on the computer at her desk and following today's graphic commands.

_Heavy, huh?_

Unable to concentrate on the pages or screen in front of her, Max sneaks the loose-leaf onto her pile. Warren's handwriting, usually messy, is much neater than expected. The first words set Max's blood racing, and only energize her from there.

_There have always been multiple worlds. FM has said sometimes a 'you' goes silent, but if you only made parallel worlds by photo jumping we'd either be the last one or close to that and FM would only be a couple of 'yous' right now, which she obviously isn't. Which means that parallel worlds are made when you at least use any of your powers. Which means their's hundreds, at least, and our theory about the collapsing Whirlpool would have happened a lot sooner. The worlds aren't crashing back together because of your power because it would have happened days ago, or even years ago in the 'William world'. Your power made the Storm when you abused it._

_The fact is someone is moving between worlds or pulling stuff through. That means they've got a power like you do. That person is abusing it. They're the one that caused the Whirlpool. Which means they can stop it. I think it's someone we know._ _Fact: they are personally going after you. Fact: it has to do with Chloe. Fact: it started after you chose this world._

_I thinks it's Jefferson or Nathan._

_And if my theory about FM and the multiple worlds are right, there's one thing I never said before. FM is **ALL** of yous. Which means there are multiple yous with this problem. And multiple yous that are only slight variations of this world wouldn't necessarily make you crazy because you'd be the same basic person. There has to be **drastically** different versions of you. Worlds where you experience is a lot different and makes you a different person._

_Which means there is still a William-world where you saved him._

_There's a world where Chloe's alive. And you killed the town._


End file.
